


Amber in Thedas

by seraphem31



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Dark Solas, F/M, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Non-Inquisitor OC, Rivalry, immortal character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-20 03:09:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 161,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7388158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphem31/pseuds/seraphem31
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amber finds herself in Thedas.  She also finds out that she cannot die and reluctantly gets wrapped up in an organization called the Inquisition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Amber Alice Argent coughed after suddenly hitting something solid. There were sounds all around her but she could not catch her breath to even begin to pay attention. The pain in her chest was harsh and she kept her eyes closed. “Breathe in.” A lilting voice said from above her she could feel a light weight on her heaving shoulders.

She followed the direction and pulled a deep breath. She finally felt the cool air flood her lungs. Aww. That felt nice. She remained on the ground breathing in and enjoying the nice feel of the cold ground beneath her face.

“Yes…breath… that is nice…..breath… I really…breath… like to…breath… breathe. It is now… breath....my favorite thing ever.” Her voice was raspy. “But nearly choking to death….breath… has made my voice nice and….breath…. sexy raspy. choked laugh… That’s nice too!” She sucked in contentedly and finally evened out her breathes, and ran her arms from clutching her chest along the ground in great arcs to just above her head. She imagined herself doing it and softly laughed at the dramatic scene she probably just made.

“Would you like some help up?” The lilting voice sounded again.

“Yeah... Mister just give me a second. I am supposed to be dead after getting thrown off that fucking sky scraper so let me gather my sanity.” She winced at her rudeness, “Ugh, Sorry man, I am just having a rough-“She had peeked out from under her black hood and chestnut hair to give the man an apologetic look.

She shot to her knees instantly, staring at him with intensity. He had jumped back at her sudden movement. He was and elf. “You’re an elf. A bald elf.” Her voice was deadpan, stating fact. Her eyes scanned him and the tense posture he was assuming at her declaration. He opened his mouth to say something but she had already begun to make other observations as her eyes absorbed her surroundings, “I am not in New York any more. I am in the mountains somewhere. You’re a dwarf. You have face tattoos and are an elf as well. You have a large scar on your face and a large sword pointed at me. Where am I?” With her question her eyes rested back on the first elf.

His posture was tense, and his face and voice cold when he answered, “The Frostback Mountains.” Her brows furrowed in confusion at that and her eyes shot to the dwarf as he pulled the giant crossbow from his back.

Amber’s light green eyes went back to the elf’s stormy blue ones. She closed her eyes and held up a finger to tell them to wait. They had not moved but she felt the need for a moment. She pulled herself from the ground and felt the tension in the area rise, missing the quick draw of the rest. She reached her hands towards her eyes; to rub whatever this was that was going on out of them. She was interrupted by a thwang and thunk that caused her to stumble backwards.

Her eyes shot open wide and focused on Face Tattoos. Her white hair and crystal blue eyes were stunning. She was short though. Her bow was still held up empty and her stance screamed she had just loosed an arrow. Amber looked down and felt her head bob in surprise. The tail of an arrow stuck out just above her right breast. “You shot me.” Her voice sounded faint but the incredulity and accusation were plain and she looked up at the elf. She could feel the hurt expression etch into her face. It hurt to breathe again. She could feel her lungs and muscles move around the shaft. It hurt that she had not done anything at this point to warrant being shot in the lung.

Vaguely aware of the rest of them tensing again, she looked back at her chest and grasped the end of the arrow and pulled. “Owwwwwwieeeee!” She stumbled forward at the pain that shot through her. Looking back to Stormy Eyes she fell to her knees. “It hurts.” It hurt to make noise with her lungs, she had forgotten and winced at the pain. She looked back to him pleadingly.

Everything paused for a few moments. She watched him expectantly from her knees, brows furrowed in confusion and shock. The air was still and she held her breath because it hurt to breathe. He finally started towards her as Scarface shot forward to stop him.

“Solas, what are you doing?”

“She is in pain Seeker. And clearly not dead, we should aid her as best we can and bring her back to Haven. We can figure out what is going on there.” Solas replied in a firm voice. Face Tattoos and Gimli made to voice their opinions, but the “Seeker’s” protest caught them off guard.

“Are you mad!? She could be a d-“The Seeker didn’t get to finish, because Amber interrupted her.

“What the FUCK is that?!” They all looked at her, all except for Solas who looked behind them where a grim reaper looking thing was coming up behind them. “Wraiths!” He shouted and the group turned to engage.

This hallucination was pretty awesome… except for the arrow sticking in her chest.

 

The battle didn’t take long but Amber was tired and still had an arrow sticking out of her. She maneuvered to rest on her butt. It hurt to move but they were the only ones who might help her. So she waited burning lung and all. She didn’t know if they finished the wraiths off quickly or not because she had never seen battle… real battle… like someone is dead at the end, whether they are supernatural or not.

It was fascinating to watch. The Seeker used a sword and got real up close to them. Amber decided she would not ever use a sword. A bow and arrow were becoming her only option, but she was biased against them at this point in time. Gimlie and Face Tattoos stayed back, but Solas was right up there with the Seeker. He had a blade on the end of his staff and not to mention that mess up on top of it. He was moving too fast for her to see what it was. He moved like he knew what he was doing.

When it was all said and done they turned back to Amber and stared. Gimlie looked at her like she was crazy. Face Tattoos looked constipated the Seeker looked like she was definitely already dead in her book. Thank God for Solas. He looked confused but not hostile. He started walking towards her again.

“We should discuss this.” The Seeker pointed out again.

“We need to get back to Haven Seeker. And I would much rather have a being who is not killed by an arrow to the chest under our watch than out here where the people who did this can get a hold of her.” The Seeker did not look happy that the elf made a logical debate.

“How are we to transport her Solas?” Face Tattoos brought up another good point.

He had just reached her and began examining her wound. “She can ride with me, if no one else volunteers, Herald.” He didn’t look up just studied her arrow pierced chest. Then to Amber without looking up, “Did it go all the way through?”

“Maybe… I haven’t really checked. It hurts to do anything and I am highly adverse to pain in hallucinatory conditions.” She spoke faintly but he caught every word. He gave her a concerned look when he pulled her forward slightly to check and see if the arrowhead was sticking out of her back.

“What makes you believe this is all a hallucination? The arrow went through. Master Tethras, would you do the honors?’” He looked over his shoulder at Master Tethras. The dwarf grunted and put his crossbow away on his back then walked around to her back.

“Because I have an arrow in my chest and am not dead. Also, I am pretty sure I got thrown off of a very tall building.” She began to grow nervous. She was surrounded and they were going to pull an arrow from her chest.

“Very sound reasons. Lock your arms in mine.” She complied and hooked her elbows with his, grasping his wrist with her hands. Her eyes were darting around looking for a way out. She felt the dwarf behind her place a bracing hand on her shoulder and started to panic. Her chest was searing agony with the quickening pace of each breath. “Where is New York?” She looked up into the elf's eyes, they are pretty eyes.

“In the USA. You have pretty eyes.”

“Thank you. Take a deep breath and let it out on three, as fast as you can, alright?.” He gave her a sympathetic reassuring-ish smile. She only nodded took one big deep breath in, she held it and was amazed as the stormy blues shifted to a light navy color. “One, two…Three.”

The dwarf yanked on the arrow and it pulled through. But Amber had not breathed out at the right time and was doubled over in pain. She could feel a warmth spread across her back where the arrow had been sticking out. The pain was subsiding. “Sit up, please.” She felt his voice flow over her and sat up not looking at anything. She knew her eyes would be glassed over because of the pain. 

He put his hands over her wound and she felt the same warmth spread through her. Casting her eyes down to see what was going on had not been a good idea. “What the hell are you doing?” Incredulity laced every word. “Why are your hands glowing?” She was too confused to move.

“I am healing you.” Solas states like it should be obvious.

“Now I know I am dead. That’s not something that’s normal.” She looks back and forth between the elven wizard and her wound.

“And not dying when you receive a mortal wound is normal to you?” He had the cold edge back in his voice which made her look back to him.

“Sorry, I don’t really mean to be rude and all,” She offered him another apologetic smile. “But todays been Bat shit crazy. I really think I am losing my mind.” He helped her up and they began to walk towards The Seeker and Harold. 

“Never heard that before, “Bat shit crazy” where are you from again kid?” Master Tethras spoke up from her left.

“I am from Texas. I was visiting New York City, because I obviously am nuts.”

“Solas, use this to bind her hands.” Amber looked up at The Seeker. She was holding a rope out to Solas. 

“Wait, why do I have to be tied up?” She looked between the elf and the human with a hurt expression on her face. “You guys shot me! I haven’t done anything!” She started backing up but stopped when a hand rested on her shoulder. She slowly peeked over to find the oddly named Harold looking at her with a stern expression. _When did she get back there?_ She was leading four horses. The dwarf took the reigns of two of them.

“We do not know what you are capable of. It will be safer for us all if you are restrained.” The Seeker provided, with some amount of regret. Not much, but some.

“AAAaaawwww man, you have got to be kidding me.” She shrugged Harold’s hand off her shoulder and began to back up again. “You do realize I am about as much a threat to you as that cloud. Plus you can’t arrest me without telling me what I have done.” She looked back at Solas with a pleading look. He was unmoved.

Harold moved in front of her and gave her a stern look. “We are in a hurry. We do not have time to dally here. That…” She pointed over Amber’s head. “Is going to eat the world if we do not close it.“ Amber turned to look at what she was talking about and dropped her jaw.

“Jesus Christ! What is that?!” She looked at the giant swirling green hole in the sky.

“We call it the Breach. “ Amber didn’t get to look at the Breach long because Harold decided to get her attention by grabbing her hands. “We will not kill you…”

“Pfffff, you sure as hell tried!” She was rewarded with another disapproving look from Harold.

“You will either consent to being restrained or we will knock you out and take you that way.” The Seeker was making a good point. Amber pursed her lips and grunted in ascent looking away.


	2. Chapter 2

She felt uncomfortable riding double. Solas was thin, and she wasn’t fat, but that’s a lot of bubble invasion. He was attractive, and she had blushed when she had felt up his firm thigh grabbing it to climb on the horse. She became horrifically red when she noticed he had stretched out his hand to help her up. And his smirk at her abject mortification did nothing to spur her from her frozen state. She stared up at him until the Seeker called her to action. Harold tied her hands when she had mounted the horse properly. She hadn’t looked anyone in the eye since.

The horse, she called him Creep in her head, was not happy to have two riders. Amber was certain of it. She could swear the horse kept giving her The Eye. “It’s looking at me again.” She informed.

“He is probably just curious. You may not have the same type of presence that we do.” He informed back with a curious undertone. 

“Yeah, but he definitely has this unsettlingly intelligent glint in his eye that says he wants to eat me.” Her fingers plucked at the frayed edges of her hoodie sleeve.

“Ha! Do horses in this Texas place eat people?” Master Tethras asked from their right.

“Probably. Master Tethras, I have never been around them. I stayed in the city. Inside my apartment, mostly.”

“It’s Varric. So what is your home like?” She was certain this was the start of a long conversation.

“It’s like home. I don’t know how to describe it really. I guess it would be easier if I had a better understanding of what this place is like. I mean, I have only been here a couple of hours. And in the backwoods, so I don’t really have any references here. One thing’s for sure, you can’t get shot in the chest with an arrow and survive without going to a hospital. That’s definitely new.”

This elicited a few nervous laughs at the reminder of her odd introduction. “That’s not normal here either.” Varric offered with a patronizing glance.

“And the magic thing, we don’t have magic. Unless the government is covering it up. Then we might and the regular populace just doesn’t know it.” She had started to feel uncomfortable and began adjusting in her seat. Making every attempt to not brush up against her riding partner.

“Your King could hide something like magic from you? “ Harold asked from up ahead. 

“No king, Democratic Republic, with a president as the figure head. Not that he has done us any favors. Anyway, we elect representatives every couple of years to run things. And to answer your question, yes they have the capacity to hide something like that from us. Mostly because most of us have our heads up our asses, and are too busy playing to actually pay attention.” Silence for a few moments. The horses continue forward, bringing them closer to the giant green hole. She adjusts again finally realizing she had to go pee.

“You elect your rulers?” Solas breaks the silence. 

“Yeah, it’s a long explanation. I really don’t want to get into it right now. Is there any place we could make a pit stop?” She hadn’t thought to go before they left the middle of nowhere.

“Pit stop?” Varric questions.

“I have to use the john.”

“John? I have a feeling I know what you are talking about but I have never heard it referred to as that.” He says that with a laugh.

“Yeah, it’s turning into an emergency.” Solas had already halted his horse and was dismounting. The Seeker got off her horse and started walking toward their horse. Amber had to think a bit before she realized she was going to have a babysitter for pee time. She grimaced and allowed Solas to help her down.

“Thanks.” She mumbled glancing up to the elf. It was then she realized he was taller than she was, by almost a head. She smiled up at him for the fact that he matched her elven stereotype, _unlike someone with an unlucky name_. And then let the Seeker lead her into the brush nearby.

“So are there any facilities where we are going, Seeker?” 

“Facilities?” She seemed unfamiliar with the term.

“Toilets, you guys have toilets here right?” She asked with an amused laugh.

“What is a toilet?” Amber froze. The pull on the Seeker’s grip caused her to turn back to her prisoner. She was met with a pale faced woman looking at her in horror. “What?” Tensing she turned away surveying the area for enemies. 

“You don’t have toilets? What about indoor plumbing?” Amber’s voice was coated with hope.

The Seeker turned back to her and narrowed her eyes, suspicion oozing out of her. “What’s indoor plumbing?” 

She doesn’t get an answer, because Amber doesn’t know how to process it. _Sure! What’s having to go in an outhouse, or outside next to a bush even. That’s not really a big deal. Right?!_ The dark haired woman unties her hands not seeking an explanation. As Amber pulls her jeans down and squats next to a tree,  because WHY NOT people, she mentally shoves all of the surfacing emotions into her stomach; because in the middle of the woods with you pants down is not the place to deal with complicated stuff. She finishes and then looks around for paper. Right! No toilet paper. She spots a pretty bright green broad leafed plant and reaches for it.

“That is poisonous.” The Seeker informs from her left. Amber turns to look at her with a raised eyebrow. The woman was already looking for a suitable wiping tool. She bends and picks up a stringy bunch of bark that looked to have the same properties as paper. “This will do.” She hands it to Amber who eyes it dubiously. “We do not have a lot of time,” motivates the pee-er to action. 

The rest of the trip to Haven was a quiet one for Amber. She had returned to the party in a serious mood. She mounted Solas’ horse with minimal trouble this time; definitely no groping this time. Before she let the Seeker tie her hands she asked if she could listen to music while they traveled. The group was confused and just stared as she reached in her hoodie pocket and pulled her ear buds out. She pulled her hood back and put them in her ears and pushed the button on the mic. The volume was really loud so she turned it down. Way down. When did I turn it up this high? The Seeker hesitated giving her an odd look and then tied her hands, she said something that Amber didn’t catch. She pointed toward her head. “I can’t hear you. I will answer your questions when we get where we are going.” 

Solas mounted behind her and the group began forward. She was aware that he had tried to talk to her a couple of times, but she ignored him in favor of old school Weezer. They spoke amiably around her. She was aware of every time Solas spoke because of the pleasant rumbling vibrations at her back. They gave her looks every once in a while but she continued to ignore them. She needed to zone out a bit to regroup herself. She grew drowsy as time went on and nodded off a couple of times. The elf she rode with showed concern the first time, but grew increasingly amused as they moved along. She had shot him a few glares when she felt him laughing after she would jolt awake.

As the sun was low in the west, she could see lights up ahead in the shadow of the mountains. She pulled her earbuds out awkwardly stuffed them back in her hoodie pocket and took a deep breath… then gagged. “What’s that smell?”

“We are almost to Haven.” Solas stated with soft amusement next to her ear. His warm breath on her cold sensitive ear made her shiver.

“Seriously?!” She was becoming disheartened with every significant discovery she was making in this world.

Solas chuckled at that. “Are you not used to the way a town smells?”

“They don’t smell like that.”

“What do they smell like?” Varric had moved his pony to their right.

“Exhaust and hot pavement in the Summer. Exhaust and cold air in the Winter.”

“What’s exhaust?” Harold asked from up ahead with The Seeker. She rolled the word around on her tongue a few times.

“It’s what cars put out. And before you ask, cars are machines that we use to get around. We stopped really using horses as a major form of transportation about a hundred or so years ago.” She watched as the town gradually got closer. Thankful these people were keeping most of their questions to themselves.

“So I hate to be a needy mooch and all, but do you think I could get something to eat when we get there?” The empty space in her stomach was becoming insistent. 

“Yes. Once we are there the HeraId and I will speak with the Inquisition’s Advisers about what to do with you. You can get something at the local tavern.”

“Inquisition, pfffff! That’s ominous. Back home they had an inquisition a couple of hundred years ago, LOTS of people died. Hope that’s not what’s waiting for me.” She said it in a joking manner but nobody really responded. It got a little awkward for her.

“You will probably be spending the next couple of days in a cell until we can sort out what to do with you.” Harold seemed to have some kind of stick up her ass.

“Wow, you really know how to make someone feel welcome.” 

“Kid you don’t exactly make things easy, either.” Varric gave her a look that said he was tired.

“Just promise I can keep my music player.”

“No promises. We don’t know anything about you so we need to come to a consensus before we can trust you.” Harold was not in a good mood. Amber just mumbled to herself in a mocking tone.

 

She was helped off the horse near the stables. The welcoming party was a few guards and some people in fancy clothes and armor. Amber did a bad job of hiding her nerves. The red head eyed her with intensity. She got the heebee jeebees every time she met eyes with the woman.

The Seeker motioned her forward and she complied. “This is Commander Cullen, Ambassador Montilyet, and our Spy Master Leliana.” She motioned to each in turn and they studied her curiously. 

“Spy Master?” she barked a humorless laugh tension getting the better of her mouth. She could literally feel her blood pressure rise with her anxiety. “Bond, James Bond!” Her joke did not go over well, even with her horrible attempt at a Scottish accent. She laughed lamely again, they just kind of stared. 

She heard Varric laugh as he and Solas came up behind her and patted her arm, “We need to work on your content and delivery, Daffy” She gave him an odd look at the moniker, but was glad he was back in good spirits. 

Harold brought them back to business. “We think keeping her in a cell until we can figure out what she is would be best.” Amber felt her face and opinion of Harold plummet. She had said it earlier but now talk with “official” people cemented it.

“What she IS?” Commander Cullen inquired eyeing Amber again.

“Yes… it’s a long story and better suited for the War Table in the morning.” Harold kept glancing back at Amber. It was as if the elf was checking to see if she understood what they were talking about.

She was about to comment on it when the Seeker cut in, “Solas, Varric take the prisoner to the tavern for something to eat and then escort her to the Chantry.”

“Of course, Seeker.” Solas was a quick to take her up on the order(?). He put a hand on Amber’s back and began to usher her away from the big shots.

“One question before you go?” The Spy Master interjected pinning Amber with her piercing eyes. Amber answered her by widening her own. “Could we have your name?”

A thick, pregnant silence filled the air. Realization donning on her and by the look on the Seeker and Harold’s faces, a few others as well. “Amber. Amber Argent.”

A quick nod from the Spy Master had Solas escorting her through the gates.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the part with the balm is inspired by DarkAngelDisuke's Memories and Chaos. After I read that part it felt like a very "Solas" thing to do. I really wanted to include it, so I did. Anyone who hasn't checked the story out should it's pretty good.

Once inside the gates of Haven, Solas and Varric agreed to remove her bindings. Rubbing her wrist she thanked them and they all started off to the tavern. In an effort to ignore the horrific smell she asked questions about Haven. They told her in which directions to find various places of import; but seeing as she was going to be staying in a cell for a few days, or weeks, or whatever, they weren’t very detailed directions.

Varric swung the door open to the Swaying Matron (?), Amber hadn’t really bothered to try to catch the proper name of it. The rabble rousers inside did not pause when they entered. She only got a few odd looks, which she promptly returned with crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue. 

“You know they say if you do that too often your face falls off?” Varric offered amusedly the first time he caught her. 

“Well that would just about run with the luck I have been having lately.” She gave him a rye smirk. He led them to a not empty table a little ways inside. Six men and women sat at the table laughing. After a few moments of just standing there Varric had gathered their attention.

“What can we do for you dwarf?” The man in front of Varric did NOT sound happy to see said dwarf and stared into his mug. Amber sensed bad blood and decided to take note of who this man was. And by take note, that meant observing the most prevalent facial feature on him and avoiding all who bore it like they were the Plague. In this case the man had a bushy black beard and bad teeth. She then took a quick glance up at his fellows. The group was tense and eyeing the three of them with not quite sneers.

“I think you still owe me some coin from last month Durgson.” Varric used a matter of fact tone. Tension jumped up about three notches. Bushface pulled himself from his mug and glared at Varric.

“I paid you back last time you was in town dwarf. Don’t go fishin’ where you got no claim.” The man turned back to his drink and his fellows didn’t follow. Amber watched the dwarf eye the others sitting at the table. They eyed him back. He just shook his head, she caught a disappointed look on his face, and walked toward the bar.

As she followed she heard the group mumble about midgets and knife-ears. She gathered the latter was a jab at Solas. She had never come across anyone who expressed a dislike for elves before so the thought was enough to note the insult. Solas tensed, he had apparently heard it as well, and placed a guiding hand on her shoulder. The grip was more firm than she thought it needed to be but didn’t complain. 

Everyone in this room was REALLY tall. And it was REALLY crowded. She got bumped into by people jerking back in their seats for one reason or another. Shouts and mumbles of, “Scews me’s”, “Watch it’s”, and “Fucking Knife-ears” were thrown out over shoulders.

Solas’ grip grew harsher and more directing as they moved through the maze of people. At one point Varric motioned to a place out of sight and told Solas “Over there!” It was barely audible as the patrons were becoming rowdier the farther into the deceptively small looking tavern they moved. Amber was veered toward the direction Varric had indicated and they didn’t stop until they were at the back end of the building. 

Amber halted when they came to a table next to the back wall. All of the blood left her face, she knew it did because she felt every last drop flow into her chest and take up so much space she couldn’t breathe. She stood wide eyed, frozen in her astonishment. She heard a few chuckles from the table as she gaped. Of its own volition her arm and pointer stuck straight in front of her, her head turned to the man behind her, and her mouth spat out, “What the FUCK is that?!”

“That is The Iron Bull.” He gave her that smirk again and pushed her forward. Three places at the table the horned giant sat at had been vacated. But she didn’t notice because she had locked eyes … _errr EYE_ , with “The Iron Bull” and was having to think the words “breathe in... breathe out” to actually make her lungs function.

Solas guided her into her seat, diagonal from the _very large man_ and his eye followed hers the whole way. She was only aware that she had still been gaping when Solas had kindly pushed her jaw shut. “It’s rude to stare, Amber.” 

“I can’t stop.” She stated dead pan.

“Not seen many Qunari?” The eyebrow above his remaining eye rose with the amused question. 

“No.” It was low enough she was sure she had only mouthed it. He just laughed. It was a harsh sound but not unkind or unpleasant to the ears. By all the mercies of God above the “Qunari” kindly broke eye contact first. She moved her eyes to the table top and contemplated the patterns in the wood. 

“So the Boss found another one? She seems too green to be of any use.” The great horned male had a really nice voice, though she kept the thought to herself. 

“Greener than one would think…” Solas began. 

“She fell out of a rift, from another world.” Varric finished the last bit with a dramatic sweep of his empty hand. He had come up from behind and placed a bowl of what looked like beef stew in front of her. She stared at it, not registering the glances and stares the comment had garnered. “That’s not all, she got sho—“

“Master Tethras, I think that story needs to be told with a few less ears around. “ Solas cut through, his voice firm but smooth.

“Hmm, fell out of a rift huh? “ The Iron Bull mused over the information. Amber could feel his eye on her, so she began to poke at her meal with the wooden spoon that had come with it. 

She contemplated the odds of getting a splinter. Because whether or not she could eat with the wooden spoon she was using to turn the meat over and over, was very high on her priority list at this point.

“Daffy, you should eat quick. They may send guards to look for you soon.” Varric chuckled slightly and placed a hand on her back. When she looked up at him the friendly smile he gave her faded and his eyes went wide. Their surroundings all but stilled.

“I think I might get a splinter from this spoon.” Her voice was quiet and it cracked. She could feel the tears running down her face. She could feel her face fall into the dwarf’s shirt. Her fingers let go of the spoon, it clattered to the ground as she clenched at his shirt and she began to sob. Loudly. 

This could not be happening. This place was not possible. These people were not possible. She couldn’t grasp how she had gotten to this point. All that she remembered of the day she had arrived, which had actually been this very morning, was standing on the top of the Empire State Building in the visitor's area looking out across the city. She had been with her friend Brian and the two of them were goofing off. They had figured they needed to do one last stupid thing before going out into the “Real World.” And getting thrown out of, _not OFF of_ , the Empire State Building had been their answer.

After a while she heard, “It’s alright Daffy.” The dwarf had seated himself in the chair next to her at some point, and was now awkwardly patting her back. Her sobbing had puttered out and she was resting her head, eyes closed, in the dwarf’s lap, sniffling loudly. Her torso bridged the gap between chairs. “We’ll get you sorted out in a day or so and then you can be out and about like the rest of us.”

“Harold hates me.” She mumbled.

“Kumquat doesn’t hate you. She’s just trying to make the best out of this situation.” Amber doesn’t argue. She has no real standing with these people and shouldn’t expect to have anytime soon. Nor does she have the energy to care at this point.

Which is why a few minutes later she did not object when Solas stood and offered his hand with, “We should get you to the Chantry before the guards do come looking for you.” She took it and stood mumbling a goodbye to everyone. She didn’t listen for a response and didn’t look higher than anyone’s navel. 

She took a deep breath when they stepped out of the tavern…and gagged. She dry heaved into some bushes next to the building for about five minutes. She hadn’t eaten anything, and as she held her mid shoulder length hair she discovered a nest of knots. A soft pat on her back had looking back to see Solas holding out a small open jar of something. “Take some and put it under your nose.”

She inhaled experimentally after applying the balm. It now smelled like sickly sweet cake and chicken, but no undertones of medieval town life. She raised an inner eyebrow at the smell, odd and definitely better than the alternative, leaving her sighing in relief. “Thank you.” Her voice was hoarse but clear. And with that they started for the Chantry.

On a darker street, Amber made an internal decision and touched Solas’ elbow to stop him. He turned his head and quirked an eyebrow at her. A morose inward chuckle at all the brow raising going on today, she checked both ways and then motioned him to one of the shadier areas next to what was obviously a home. She didn’t see him check for a tail on the roof tops, there weren’t any, and he followed her.

Once they were in enough shadow for her liking, she leaned into him and spoke as softly as she could. Which was pretty soft if she did say so herself. And to his credit Solas could hear and speak in as equally soft tones if not ones even more so. 

“I know we just met and everything, but can I trust you with something?” She was amazed at how well she could see his shrewd expression in the dark.

“What would you trust with someone you just met Da’len?”

“What did..? Errr…“ She shakes her head to stay on point. “Look, I don’t know anyone from this place; and I would like to think I could trust the man who was the first to offer me help... As well as let me ride between his legs for the better part of the day without knowing anything about me." She felt herself flush at the memory. "Other than the fact I can apparently survive an arrow through my chest with relatively little discomfort… Hopefully, more so than the other odd people I have met here. Plus I don’t have anything I can really offer ya’ll in terms of fighting ability or military intelligence, so why not my trust. The one thing I can give... to at least one person anyway. ” She shrugged and looked up into his shadowed face.

“What would you trust with me?”

She reached into her hoodie pocket and pulled out her player. “The few things I have on me.” Her fingers pushed the screen button and as it lit up they both flinched. She mumbled an apology. If he had heard her or not she wasn’t sure. His focus was immediately brought to the object in her hand.

“What is that?” Curiosity drenched his quiet words.

She observed his face in the light from the screen. He had an otherworldly look to him. _Ha! Amber you are so funny!_ “You put these in your ears.” She unwrapped and held up the ear buds. “And then press here and here.” She opened the app and showed him how to scroll through the music. He didn’t take his eyes off of it as she handed it to him. He immediately started to scroll through the music. “If you hit the buttons at the bottom you can go back to the start screen and look through the apps on it. I also have some pictures in the one with the yellow flower on it.”

“This is fascinating. What are these symbols?” She made a huff of confusion at that and cleared her throat.

“Those are letters. You can’t read that?”

“No.” She sighs at his answer. After a quick internal debate over his ability to self teach she pulls her small note pad and pen out of her front pant pocket. She skips the first page and writes down the alphabet on the next. Torn out and handed over she does a quick rundown on their pronunciations and explains that English is almost exactly like spoken common. He seems to pick it up, because when she starts to go over it again he waves her off and examines the letters closely before tucking it in the invisible pocket he seemed to have on his person. His pants looked good on him but they didn’t look too pockety in Amber’s opinion. 

“Now, there are about five thousand songs on it and around two hundred books. It has about four running hours of battery life left. You are welcome to it for watching my things. I also have my wallet, note pad and pen, Swiss army knife, and two pieces of gum. Please don’t eat the gum but you are welcome to investigate the rest.” He looked her in the eyes, really looked. His face showed no expression, but his eyes reflected that his mind worked hard at something. As to what, _who cares at this point?_ So again she just gave him her sad smile and relinquished her belongings. He placed them in The Pocket, and they moved on.

The rest of the walk to the Chantry was quiet. The hall they entered was huge. Amber thought of a warehouse, but this had a fancier feel to it. They walked toward the end of the building to where a solider was seated on a barrel with a door to his left. The guard gave Solas a pointed look when he noticed she wasn’t bond. “She was supposed to be here a while ago.” The guard made an exaggerated effort to stand. He jerked on her arm and escorted her down the stairs faster than she would have liked. She hadn't had time to say bye to Solas.

“Bloody knife-ear thinks he owns the place.” It was said out loud but not to her apparently. She flinched as his grip grew harder when they moved through the darker parts of the long hallway down the stairs. 

When they reached the cells he threw her in one hard enough to shove the cot inside back to the wall. “Stay quiet, or I’ll make you knife-ear.” Her eyes shot up to his retreating figure at that. _What, what?!_ The low burning torch went out with the breeze from the door upstairs, and she was left in the dark reaching up to touch a very sensitive and very pointed ear.


	4. Chapter 4

After her discovery, she sat quietly and just tried to figure out how it had happened and when. She could not remember feeling anything that could attribute to her ears changing shape. The only time she had felt anything really significant was when she got shot in the chest and when she broke down in the bar. She thought about both instances going through the events surrounding them and focused on the fact that Solas had healed her.  


“Magic... must be magic.” She voiced her thoughts quietly. 

Amber decided to ask Solas about it the next time she saw him. Finished pondering her new update she looked around. Even though there was no light she could still make out more than expected. She investigated the object in the corner of her cell. It was a bucket. She felt inside and it was empty. After sitting in the dark contemplating for about ten minutes she surmised it was the toilet. She felt herself deflate emotionally, and then went about using it, tearing a piece of the blanket to wipe. Her mortification at having to sit in the same room with her own make contrasted greatly with the relief of not having to poop any more. She could not decide which was the greater of the emotions.

After that little bit of drama, she placed the bucket on the wall opposite of where the cot was and made her way over to it. She tested it’s and was satisfied that it would hold her. Amber laid on it, careful not to aim to short or far. She stared up into the dark and finally let her mind go over the events that lead up to this day.

_They had only known each other for a semester. Both had to take the same remedial math class in order to graduate their north Dallas junior college. They had gotten off on the right foot when the professor made a comment only to two of them had found funny. He had pretty brown eyes, and an average face. Not devastatingly handsome under his light dirty blonde locks. Before and after class they would chat amiably but they never made plans to hang out anywhere else._

_The day final test scores were passed out Brian showed up at her apartment. He waved his final grade at her and asked if she passed. She was startled by his arrival but quickly sank into their usual banter, quickly affirming she had indeed passed. After around an hour of chatting about the upcoming summer movie line up, a quiet falls over the room and she looks up to find him staring at her oddly._

_“What? Are you that intrigued by the fact that I don’t like most movies?” She chuckled as she sat down her mug of soda._

_“Amber, would you like to come on a road trip with me?” His voice was quiet and serious._

_She looked at him and cocked her head to the side. She took in his expression and body language. He was quite serious. “Where to?”_

_“New York.” His face and tone had not changed._

_She thought about it for a minute, a full on minute, because she consciously watched the second hand on the clock above his seat on the couch rotate a full circle._ Why not? _“Yes.”_

_“Get packed we take my car.” He broke out in a smile so big she felt it would split his face. She smiled back and went to her room to pack. An hour later they were jamming out to 80’s music on I-40 headed to The Big Apple for two weeks of absolute mayhem. At least that was how Brian had described what he had planned for the two of them._

_The trip there was one of the most amazing experiences she had ever had. They took turns driving, making one major stop in Lexington, Kentucky to sleep and eat a decent meal. They talked about everything. She was on her fourth turn at the wheel when she decided to open up about her past. He asked her to pull to the side of the road and she had. By the time she put the car in park her tears where streaming down her face and she dreaded his response._

_But he hadn’t yelled or cursed or called her names. He did NOT reject her. He pulled her into that awkward car hug and just held her and told her that everything was going to be alright. Told her that he was glad she had opened up to him, and if she ever needed to talk to someone about any of it he would be there for her. She just started to cry harder at that point and he joined her. The two of them sat there on the side of I-81 in Tennessee crying for about half an hour. The rest of the trip was sharing bad jokes and stopping at roadside stands._

_The City had been amazing. The first week went by in a blur. She just remembered the two of them tore through the boroughs like mad men. The Tuesday before they were supposed to leave he took her up to the Empire State Building. They walked around the visitor’s area for around an hour just looking at the city and answering each other’s abstract questions about what the ants down below were doing. When they rounded to the back corner away from the entrance he stopped her and pulled a small box out of his pocket._

_She hadn’t noticed until he grabbed her attention by using her full name. Her had brows lifted in astonishment as he began to kneel down. But she never got to find out what happened next because someone was pushed into him and the box went flying over the side of the building. They watched in horror as it fell out of sight. She rounded on the pusher but found two men barreling her into the corner railing. They were too quick and she jumped on top of them by instinct. She tried to climb over them, but one hefted his way to his feet in his anger and pushed her over the railing. She watched the faces as she fell. Brian was reaching for her screaming something she couldn’t hear._

_She had closed her eyes not wanting to see the end, and waited as the air rushed by, heating and cooling in an odd pattern as tumbled down. She thought she remembered an appalling shade of bright green outside her eye lids but was met with the cold ground before she could think on it._

Tears had made cold trails down her face. She wouldn’t even have to worry about what answer she would have given him. It didn’t matter anymore if her brothers would have ever approved of him. She had a bad feeling that answer would have been a no, but the point was now moot. She didn’t even know if she would have said yes. There was so much to consider, not just the things she had told him, but also that she hadn’t shared everything she had done. And she really wasn’t sure if Brian would have accepted her after finding that everything out. But they were never going to get the chance at finding out any of it because she was gone.

She rubbed her eyes in the dark, and refocused on the rest of the day. Mentally not touching the arrow in her chest, _not going to deal with that until I absolutely have to!_ She winced at how rude and childish she had been. She made a mental note to apologize to everyone. She chastised herself for not writing down their names. She went over their arrival at this town, Haven. They put her in this cell; that meant they were definitely going to interrogate her. She put her arm over her eyes and shivered. Tomorrow would not be fun. She would, of course keep her promise to her brother. She would not talk to the “Authorities.” The image of the spy master's piercing eyes flitted through her mind and she shivered again. That woman or someone in under her would question Amber. And when she refused to answer she would be subject to whatever they felt they would need to do to get them from her.

She had been in that position before and it had not ended pretty. Had the scars to prove it. Her only saving grace was the timely arrival of her two older brothers. They had kept the thugs from removing any of her fingers. A fresh wave of tears came on and she spent the rest of the night silently praying for a miracle. Sleep was definitely not happening that night.

Some torturous amount of time later she heard the echoing clank of the lock and the sound of the door opening. She could hear the low muffled voices that indicated two people coming down the hall, but could only pick out one set of steps. She shifted on the cot to watch the faint light growing from down the hall. The voices were arguing over the fact that there was no light.

“What’s it matter? She should be able to see in the dark just fine.” A female voice she did not know.

“It doesn’t matter if she can see or not. There is supposed to be light here when someone is inside.“ Her heart fluttered a moment at the sound of Solas’ voice, until she remembered her crap was in the corner. She wanted to cry all over again. 

The torch came through the opening and she sat up moving her feet to the floor as the two made their way over to her cell. The elf was holding a large bundle and the guard a torch. The guard stepped forward to unlock the door. Solas stepped in and she shut it, he stared at her until she huffed and mumbled something about it being his life and walked off placing the torch in the holder of the column in front of Amber’s cell.

Solas turned to her and they looked at each other until the door upstairs closed.

“You should have slept.” She laughed at this.

“And miss all this wonderful scenery? You have to be kidding me.” Her tears shown in her voice and she flushed. Thankfully he didn’t say anything about it and moved to set the bundle he was holding on the cot beside her. 

He pulled a smaller bundle from the top of the pile and untied it. She immediately smelled the bread and her stomach growled audibly. Humiliated once again, she took it from him and began to slowly eat the loaf of bread while taking note of the small hunk of what looked like ham. He placed a water skin next to her and crouched on the balls of his bare feet, resting his arms on his thighs to observe her eating.

“Th-thank you…” Her voice was small, fatigue building up in her muscles again. 

“You are most welcome. You had not eaten last night, and I felt it would be prudent for me to come and check on your wound first thing in the morning anyway.”

She flushed deeper, eyes darting to the bundle next to her. “What’s that?”

“The Herald felt that because you are down here because of her, you were due some comforts. There is a better blanket and a change of clothes.” His eyes studied her in the dim torch light. She felt them rover over her curiously. “Leliana will want to have you questioned. I am not sure as to when that will take place. Afterwards they will decide what to do with you.”

She snorted at this and began to tear the bread apart to make a sandwich with the meat. “It seems we have a problem then. I won’t answer any of her questions.”

She felt his quirked brow when he spoke, “And why not?”

“I made a promise not to talk to the Authorities to my brother who is dear to me. I have never broken one, not one, of the eight promises I have made in my life.” She didn’t put force behind any of the words, she didn’t have to, the words spoke for themselves.

“That would not be wise Da’len.” She looked up and furrowed her brow at the unfamiliar word but decided to save it for a more appropriate time.

“I know. I know it’s not… but the last half of my life has been nothing but bad decisions. And that’s an understatement. There are two things in my life right now that keep me striving to become a better person. And the one that matters most to me is the fact that I have never, ever, broken a promise.” She resumed eating the meager meal sipping from the water skin every few bites. The silence was deafening but short.

“Surely he had not meant you to keep it in this situation.” He was using a light tone.

“It doesn’t matter what he meant. What matters, is what I promised. “ She stopped eating again, and cast her eyes to his holding them firmly, trying to impart how important it was that she keep this promise. “I know, what it means to keep this promise. I have had to keep it several times before. Luckily the official Authorities back home are not allowed to use ‘unsavory’,” she made air quotes with the word, “methods to get information. I was put in jail a few times for withholding evidence, but somehow always got out soon after. But those who only had Authority on the streets were not shy with their methods.” He didn’t say anything to that, only stared with that hard contemplating look in his eyes and then motioned for her to finish eating. So she did.


	5. Chapter 5

The sandwich had been only ham-ish meat on dry stale bread but she thought it had been delicious. She stared at the ceiling as she took a deep drink from the water skin filling her mouth too full, making it hard to swallow. Water dribbled out of her pursed lips as she struggled to make it all down. She dragged her dirty sleeve across her face and felt the dirt stick. Her eyes dropped to Solas as she sat the water skin back on the cot next to the cloth he had brought her food in signaling she was finished eating.

“So what now?” She noticed he had not moved from his crouched position in front of her. Also she felt a little astonished at his ability to remain like that for just about ten minutes.

He regarded her for a few seconds longer before answering, “I would like to examine your wound.” She stared at him a few seconds and then nodded. He stood fluidly with no effort and stepped closer, watched her for a moment longer before sitting next to her.

“Take off your sweater.” His instruction was clinical but she felt the flush anyway. She complied and once de-bloused she regarded the shirt underneath with a wary eye. She took note of the hole above the right breast and the small ring of red around it. She winced at the damage. This was one of her favorite shirts. It was a plain white T-Shirt with black lettering that read:

My Favorite Sayings

1\. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.  
2\. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.  
3\. I intend to live forever, so far so good.

When Solas hadn’t moved she looked up and noticed he was reading her shirt. She smiled slightly and pulled the bottom out for him to see the lettering better in the dim light of the torch. “What do you think?”

“Wiser sayings than they seem… two out of three anyway. I need to see the skin please.” She silently pondered which he excluded awhile and looked back up at him. His expression was clinical expectancy and she started to remove her shirt when her eye caught the obvious inked designs that sleeved both her arms. She paused suddenly fearful to remove the shirt. Would he hate her when he saw them all? Would he even understand what they meant? She certainly hoped not. He cleared his throat to bring her back to the task at hand. She took a deep breath and pulled the shirt off. Leaving her in a light blue bra and a green tank top. She had not noticed his quick inspection of her skulls, bones, and heinous symbols. They covered both arms and went down her back to just above her hip line. The only tattoo on her front was the brand of her first tattoo where her torso and right hip met. She subconsciously pulled her hem to make sure that abomination was covered.

He immediately placed his hands in the same place he had the day before. This time he touched the skin. She shivered at his warm touch, distracted from her apprehensions. It felt like forever since any one had touched her bare skin. Brian had booked two rooms like gentleman. Solas felt around a two inch circle of skin and seemed to find nothing. She could feel warmth she had felt the day before push into her and begin to tingle. She tried to fight off the flush she felt rising by attempting to notice if she had a new mark to add to dozens, but it looked as if the arrow had never happened. _Creepy._ “You’re good at healing there is no scar.”

He looked to where the wound should have been. “There should always be some discoloration, permanent or otherwise. The new skin looks like a scar but will gradually blend in over time. There should also be lingering magic in the area, but it…” His voice had trailed off so she glanced over and watched his face as it turned to confusion. He checked her back repeating the process.

“What’s wrong?” Worry began to build up inside of her with his continued silence.

“I don’t know. If you would stand, please, I am going to have run my magic through you.” He said it as he stood, held out his hand and helped her up. She was about to ask what that meant but he cut her off, “It would also make things go more quickly if you would kindly remove the under shirt. “ When she cast him a speculating look, “You may leave the breast band.” He smirked a bit at that, again, and she felt her face turn deep red while shoving her eyes back to the area outside of the cell.

“I know that!” She belatedly defended herself and winced when her voice squeaked. His chuckle was a soft one that pulled at her mind. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that he was just a doctor, which only helped slightly and then she pulled the green tank top off.

“I will run my hands over you. I will be touching you the entire time.” He informed her as he took her left hand and placed it palm to palm with his own. She was distracted from asking about the 'touching' when she felt a stronger different warmth spread across her palm and looked up at him then back to the glowing between their hands. “You felt that?” She nodded in response. He gave her a curious look and went on,“Good that will make things easier. I will go over your head and arms first. Then move downwards from your neck. Let me know if anything feels different than what I just demonstrated. “ She nodded again and looked out at the torch, held her arms out a bit so he had better access and commenced waiting for this to end.

He placed his hands on the crown of her head and the warmth flowed into her. She closed her eyes and felt her head tingle in that wonderful ASMR way. His hands began to slowly move downwards over her face, the magic lingering and filling where his hands had touched. When he reached the base of her neck he branched down her left arm. The tingles and warmth she felt were spreading across each of her muscles. He took her small hand between his larger ones and she felt a short slow bubble of magic bloom across her skin. She began to worry when she felt the magic caress her sensitive finger. The sensation was wonderful and she could feel the rest of her body beginning to react. Heat crept up from where his hands touched her that had nothing to do with his magic. He repeated the process, unknowingly garnering the an even more disquieting reaction from that arm.

When finished with her arms he placed his hands, one on her front and the other on her back, at her collar bone and slowly moved down the right side of her body. She was sure his pace had slowed and could feel more magic flow into her than before. Her reaction to this body “scan” was becoming embarrassing. Her breath was coming out in a soft pant. She chanced a glance to his face and was slightly disappointed to see nothing but concentration. 

His long fingers and calloused hands moved over her breast and down her torso, over her tattoo on her hip. A delicious throb cut off any apprehension she might have felt and she went dead still. She squeezed her eyes shut to banish her desire. He seemed to slow down…again. _He has to be doing this deliberately!_ She chanced another glance but only noticed how soft and smooth his lips looked. She closed her eyes quickly at the observation. He seemed to have forgotten about her presence outside whatever it was he was doing to her body.

He moved to her other side and repeated the process seemingly unaware of the state he was putting her in. She concentrated on remaining still and tried to even out her breaths. But it was difficult, very difficult. Flashes of straying hands, his smooth lips, and stormy blue eyes played across the ones and twos and ins and outs she desperately grasped at with her mind. 

The orgasm caught her by surprise and she moaned… aloud. She felt the source start to pull away and her body reacted on its own seizing it and holding it to her. After the pleasure receded, her eyes shot open. She took in the scene. Solas was crouched to her right, his head turned toward the floor. She had trapped his left hand over her womb. The backs of his ears were bright red and she noticed as the blush began to creep across the pale skin on the back of his head.

He tugged at his hand again, still not looking at her and she almost threw it at him. She blanked all thought from her mind and immediately turned towards her cot. She fell into it and pulled the thin blanket over her head and curled into a ball. She would _NEVER be able to look him in the eyes again._ She could hear every sound in the dungeon. _This IS a dungeon, isn’t it? I am in a dungeon, in hell._ Her mind focused on his breathing.

She couldn’t tell if it was normal or not. _Why hadn’t she noticed what his normal breathing was like?_ She mentally berated herself for being so unobservant. She waited for what seemed like an eternity. She had no idea what she was waiting for, but she _sure as hell is not going to speak first._ She didn’t hear him move and after a while could no longer hear him breathing. The wait dragged on and on. 

Finally he cleared his throat softly, now standing, and spoke, “Did you feel any pain or…. discomfort at all?” 

All the blood in her body forced its way from her veins to the top layer of skin. Certain she could sweat blood, she took a deep open mouthed breath; the smell of the blanket coated her tongue. “No.” It was hoarse with the effort it took to speak the word. She would definitely not be able to say anything else. 

After a pregnant pause, “I…I will speak to the Herald and the Spymaster about being your healer. “ He stopped; if he was waiting for a reaction to that, he wouldn’t get it today. “If you are adamant about your foolish promise you will need one. And if you are indeed unable to be killed by normal methods it would be best to have someone who already knows." 

She felt shame well up with the tears as she finally heard him move around. The cell door grated open and she heard the clanking of what had to be the keys. When he didn’t immediately close the door she shifted to indicate she had noticed, and to cover her sniffling. An eternity later, “Would you like me to keep anything else for you? Your clothing is not like anything I have seen in ages.” 

She thought about what most likely lay in store for her. She sat up and let the blanket fall off her head. Studiously avoided anything remotely alive in her peripheral, she gathered her hoodie and T-shirt and folded them with trembling hands. She did not look at him when she held them out. Only pulled the blanket back over her head and felt the weight leave her outstretched arm. She laid back down and curled back into her ball. 

The cell door creaked shut and the lock turned. She flinched at the latter. “If it helps..” he started to address what had happened but she put her hand out and stopped him. She waited forever. She hadn’t realized he had left until she heard the faint sound of the door upstairs open and close. Her arm dropped and she cried silently for an hour. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left a kudos! It's exciting every time I get one.  
> So onto business: I am not going to leave trigger warnings. If you need those kinds of warnings this is not the story for you. I changed the rating from Not Rated to Explicit to cover anything that might happen. It's going to get dark. And Amber has not been anything remotely close to a decent person for a while. Other than that let me know if one of our favorites is grossly out of character. I do not want to insult you or them.
> 
> I will add tags as each chapter makes them necessary. Also if the lack of description of the characters in the beginning bothers you let me know and I will fix it. I was nervous and assuming we all know what they look like. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy this!


	6. Chapter 6

Amber took a deep breath and didn’t gag too badly. Being underground seemed to shield her from the atrocious smell of outside and her own smell was… tolerable. She didn’t know what to do about her upcoming problems and the problems from her old life seemed far enough away that she felt it was safe to ignore them. At least until people began asking about her tattoos. Then it might get dicey. They might not know what they mean but if she let it out she might be just as ostracized as she had been by regular people back home. The thought that Solas…. _No, you are not alowed to think about him right now._

She sat up and pulled her green tank top back on, then began going through the bundle. The new clothes were wrapped in the new blanket. She got up and refolded the blanket and set it on the end of the cot. She noticed the pants looked and felt like leather. They also looked tighter than what she usually wore but beggars shouldn’t be choosers. There was a loose cream tunic, a pair of what looked like underwear, and three long strips of cloth. She had no idea what to do with the latter so she sat them aside. She looked to see if there were any boots or anything for her feet. After a few glances around brought nothing new she eyed the strips and sighed.

She could have sworn they were wearing boots. Would have bet on it, because what kind of place would have fighting, and battles, and cold gross dungeons with no boots? She put the tunic down and began to remove everything but her bra. The cool air of the stone room made her move more quickly than what she would have liked. She put the underwear and the tunic on first in case any more silent visitors came a calling. The pants went on a lot easier than she would have thought and the ties at her hips made her feel like a hipster. She wasn’t sure why she had that impression, but no one would argue anyway.

She seated herself on the cot and began to examine the strips again, one was slightly shorter than the others so she sat that aside and looked between her feet and the cloth. After a few more minutes of deliberation she began to wrap one around her left foot. She wrapped up her leg to her knee then back down tucking the end into one of the tighter ravels. She examined it and thought that it looked funny with her entire foot wrapped up, shrugged mentally and put her tennis shoe back on. It was not comfortable. So she took it off and unwound the strip. Dirty yellow socks it is. The shorter strip she tied around her waist so the tunic wouldn't be as baggy on her. She would have to ask Sol—someone what to do with the other strips.

She finished dressing and started with the mess that was her hair. It was horrible but after a long patient tangle with her tangles she combed through it a few times with her fingers, she was satisfied she looked decent. She stood and stared at the area outside of her cell. She realized she had nothing to do and could go nowhere. SO….she paced. It was boring, very boring. So she began to sing. She started with Ring of Fire and moved to When Dragons Rule. Johnny Cash to Dragonforce, she loved all types of music and was up to listen to anything new. 

Music had been her only refuge when she came out of the hate filled culture she had lived in for a full decade. But even when she expressed sorrow for her past actions, people stopped having anything to do with her. When they found out who she used to be and who she used to hang out with friendly faces with the promise of a life without hate and violence would turn to the familiar vestiges of those she had fled. All because of her past mistakes. Granted she thought she did deserve it all. She wasn’t under any delusions that she didn’t, but didn’t it matter that she had seen her errors and was trying to change?

Brian had been the only one to actually offer her the support she had hoped for after learning a part of her past. She might not have seen him as marriage material but she might have accepted anyway. She was just so happy to have a real friend. Any man as forgiving as he, had deserved whatever they wanted in her opinion, but as far as she could tell she wasn’t going home anytime soon. So she sang to herself for hours, just waiting.

Halfway through belting out Killer Queen she heard the upstairs door open and went quiet. Five people were making their way down the long hallway. She wondered how she could pick out the separate footsteps so easily and then remembered her new ears. They had more torches and when they entered the wider area the light tripled, she almost flinched. She watched them settle in front of her cell. Harold, Commander Cullen, and the Spy Master along with two guards.

“I thought you might have forgotten about me.” Her voice did not come out charming like she wanted and when they didn’t say anything she cleared her throat and looked away.

“You are going to answer some questions for us. And if we find them acceptable we will let you out, under supervision of course.” It was the Spy Master. Amber eyed Harold who wouldn’t meet her eyes and Cullen just looked at her sternly.

“No.” She gripped the edges of the cot lightly.

“No?” The scary red head sounded amused. “Then you wish to stay down here? We don’t really have time or the resources to care for a prisoner, you would most likely starve.” Harold gave her friend a harsh look. Commander Cullen just shifted on his feet hand resting on he hilt of his sword.

Amber sat silently not looking at them. 

“You do realize we can get whatever we want from you, yes?” Amber finally noticed she had a French accent. The thought made her look back to the woman. “We only want to know where you come from and what you can do. Surely your promise would allow that?” Amber’s eyes shot to those piercing daggers, so Solas had told them of her promise. She didn’t feel betrayed, in fact she felt better. The man she had decided to trust just might have tried to get her out of this, without her having to break her promise.

“We only want to check out your back ground, see if anyone may have heard of you. It's something we do for everyone who joins the Inquisition.” Harold sounded pleading. Amber just quirked a brow at her. _Who said I wanted to join? You brought me here._ “We need help, you could help us.” This only got Harold a grunt.

“Being uncooperative does you no favors girl.” Commander Cullen sounded as stern as his face suggested. She resented that. She had been perfectly willingly to be cooperative, and had been, relatively, up to this point. 

“Please, it’s not that big of a deal. If your brother knew you were here he wouldn’t mind.” Harold didn’t understand. 

She only received a sarcastic mumbled, “You don’t know my brother.” 

“You were perfectly willing to speak about yourself on your way here.” The French accent pointed out.

“That’s right! You’re from a place called Texas. And the cities there smell like eggs-oust.” She sound relieved at the memory. Amber didn’t comment on the fact that she had been in shock pretty much all day, or denial of some sort. She was also with someone she had unconsciously started to trust so that had loosened her lips. She didn’t regret it, but that didn’t change the situation now.

Things went on like this for about ten minutes. The Commander growing more agitated throughout. The Spy Master growing colder and Harold more desperate with each unanswered question they asked. Amber stayed silent save a few more sarcastic laughs and mumbles, her frustration with the situation mounting along with the rest. 

She hadn’t asked for this. They just picked her up tied her down and put her in this box. She had done nothing to be here. She may have been rude, but that certainly didn’t warrant being caged and threatened with torture for not giving up information. These backwards people were not anything new, and she was disappointed by this world again. Her frustration began to turn to anger.

The Commander finally huffed in frustration, “We have no choice but to leave you to the Spy Master.” He nodded to said scary woman and stepped away going back to the stairs. _There’s always a choice._ Her face reflected the thought, and she could feel her anger rising from her belly and tried to stay calm.

Harold pleaded on last time, “Please it doesn’t have to be like this—“

Amber snapped at this, “I have done nothing but be shot in the chest by YOU and survive!” She vehemently pointed at Harold. The young elf stepped back her face looked like she had been slapped. “I have been cooperative to a point, and have not really argued with what you’ve asked me to do. You say you don’t know what I am and tie me up. The Seeker would have killed me if Solas had not talked sense into her. Is that what this world is like? Just cage up and kill what you don’t know and don’t understand?” Her anger was beginning to turn to rage, she hadn’t felt like this in years.

“Well it seems you can talk. Herald, I will take care of this woman. Go and rest some more, we will meet in the War Room this evening to make a final decision on whether we go to the Mages or Templars then. And I will give out what information I find out from her.” The Spy Master Leliana kept her eyes on Amber, who had been studiously avoiding even looking into her general direction. 

Harold looked between the two women and seemed to gather herself. Amber watched her pull her shoulders back and step forward, a stern look on her face. “I apologize for shooting you, it was in the heat of the moment. I am glad you did not die, but you are being ridiculous.” Amber’s face turned to one of incredulity at that statement; her ire rising with each passing moment. She thought her breaths might be heaving but was to angry to be sure. “I don’t know what your world was like, but we are in the midst of war here as well as the threat of the Breach. We don’t have time to coddle new comers.” She nodded her head as if to reinforce the statement to herself. 

All Amber could do was look between the two women. One looked satisfied she had defended herself adequately and the other had a look of pride as she almost sneered down at her prisoner. Amber had not been able to pull herself from her stupor in time to argue back before Harold nodded to Leliana and looked back at her with pity on her face. 

The look enraged Amber. This was unbelievable her mind went to all of the angry faces she had seen over years. The ones from people that had found out who she used to be and had judged her, sneered at her. The ones on the faces of those she held dear when they heard she was leaving. She was done. She could take sneering, judgment, and anger but not pity. _Never pity._ With that last thought pushing her rage over the edge, she jumped forward and reached for the elf through the bars. “You stupid bitch! I didn’t do anything!” Other things came out of her mouth, but she was so very angry she didn’t register any of it. Any pent up emotion she had not cried out was doubling down with her anger. She didn’t notice the elf step back frightened, she didn’t notice the Spy Master telling her to leave. Or the girl nod and rush out of the room.

She did notice the fist right before everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

_OWWWWWWW!_ Amber felt the throbbing in her head before she opened her eyes. She tried to cradle her head in her hand but found she could not lift it. She slowly peeked out and found herself in a dimly lit room with book shelves and furs on the floor. It had the same ambiance as her cell with matching bars. 

After taking stock of herself, she noticed that she was indeed tied to a chair. She sighed softly, lips trembling slightly, and held the tears back. It would have been easy, all she had to do was tell them things, she didn’t even have to tell them everything. But she wouldn’t… couldn’t. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to look herself in the mirror. After everything she did, after all of the morals and ideals she had compromised over the last half of her life she refused to compromise this. She would die first. She probably would be dead very soon for it. She hoped she did have some magic power that kept her alive.

“Awake are we.” A chipper voice came from behind on her left. She paused a moment but didn’t try to turn, just resumed examining the room. She heard the speaker pull a chair around and watched as the woman planted herself directly in front of her. 

“You are bald.” Amber spits with a chuckle huff. 

“And you smell bad.” Baldy retorts.

“That’s not a personal choice.” She did her best to sound bored.

“Oh sure it is!” Baldy sounded excited. “All you have to do is **choose** to answer my questions. We get that out of the way, you get to be untied, we wait around a bit longer then you’re free to go bathe away all that awful stink.” She made her hands do a wavy…. thing Amber didn’t care about. She shifted in her seat and tried moving her appendages into something resembling a comfortable position. Whoever had tied her didn’t want her getting out. 

“Where are you from?” Baldy tilted her head and crossed her legs in front of her. After she received silence, “The Herald says you spoke about some place called New York? Yes? The Storyteller was talking about a Tec-sas this morning? Are you from there, Amber Argent?” She kept moving her head and neck in a bird looking weird way. Amber caught it in her peripheral vision. It was odd, unnatural. Her eyes were drawn back to the woman every time she did it. 

“I think that you are just a mage. A mage with a very active imagination and have learned some illusion spell. What is it you want with the Inquisition?” The woman kept on asking Amber questions, making assumptions, doling out theories trying to get her to say something. But she didn’t, her rant at Harold had spent what anger she had built up. She could deal with this now, no matter what came. So instead of listening to Baldy drone on and on at her, she thought.

She had not been that angry in a long time. The fatigue and stress of the past day had caused her to lose control. She thought back on what she said. She winced at calling Harold a bitch. The girl had looked hurt at that. The Spy Master just seemed satisfied; she seemed to think she had a way to get into Amber’s head. She didn’t. There was more cussing some snarls and guttural growly sounds.”…we could ask Solas.” That brought her back. She looked up into the agents eyes. She was right in Amber’s face. If she leaned forward an inch she could touch her nose to Baldy’s. 

“That brought you back.” There was a smug grin on her face. Amber turned her head to go back into her thoughts but felt a sharp pain on her cheek. The Spy Master’s friend had decided to get physical.

“You have developed quite the attachment to our apostate. He healed you, and let you ride between those sexy thighs of his, for hours.” The woman sounded amused and almost envious. “It’s cute, you even convinced him to watch your things.” She began to circle the chair Amber was tied to. “Oh, yes. He told us about that. He has reported that you held nothing dangerous. He showed Lady Nightingale the odd thing you claimed produced music. But it is just garbage that does nothing. He even insisted on hanging on to it in the event you get out of this mess.” She was laughing. Amber was thankful he was keeping himself out of trouble and still willing to protect her things at the same time. She didn’t know what to think about him, but she definitely owed him, big time.

Pain spiked through Amber’s right ear. She hadn’t felt pain like that before, so she cried out. The woman was squeezing and digging nails into her flesh. “Tell me where you are from or I will cut it off.”

Amber jumped when another burst of pain shot through her right thigh. She forced her teary eyes open to find a dagger sticking out of her leg. She let out another pained cry and sucked in a breath, but she didn’t say anything.

The agent released her ear by pushing her head roughly. The chair caught on the rug and tipped up only to come back down hard. The jostling made her legs shift and pain seared through her pierced thigh. Baldy proceeded like this for a while. Slapping her face and crushing her ears. Every once in a while Amber was surprised with a punch to the stomach, arm, or face. An indeterminate amount of time passed before the agent got angry enough to make good on her threat. 

She ripped the dagger from Amber’s thigh, surprisingly little blood, and pushed her head roughly to her shoulder before taking hold of the tip of the ear. Amber didn’t scream but she did pee herself and bit through her lip as the agent roughly sawed off and threw the top of her new ear.

Tears streamed down her face as the agent began speaking to her, asking her question after question again and again. Amber focused on the corner of the rug beneath her chair and zoned out. She thought about the day she made this promise. 

 

_She had adored Jason. Her oldest brother had taken care of her and Anna. Anything the two girls had wanted he had gotten for them. He doted on them and loved them more than anyone but his twin, Jackson, who showered them in the same way. After the incident that had shattered her family they both had gone off the deep end and started getting into fights. Stealing, vandalism, drinking, drugs, they did everything. But their affection for her had never changed, if anything it had grown to ridiculous portions._

_Jackson had carried him in the door one night, he was bloody, clothes torn, and his face was a mess. Their mother had started freaking out and Jackson had pulled her into the kitchen of their small house to tell her what had happened. Amber was twelve, and so scared for her brother. She sat on the couch with him and pet a clean patch of his hair. He let her. After few minutes of listening to the muffled argument going on in the kitchen Jason looked up at Amber and coughed. She felt spittle hit her face._

_“Ewwwww!” He laughed and grunted in pain as he gently wiped her face._

_“Amber,” he was having a hard time breathing, but Amber was too scared to tell him to be quiet. “You promise me you won’t ever talk to the Authorities alright. They don’t,,, cough…don’t care about people like us.“ He hacked up blood after he said it. Amber had just stared at him. “Except,” he coughed again, swallowed, and gagged, “the people you trust.” He was leaning further and further onto the couch and into her lap. Amber had just enough time to whisper, “Yes,” before he passed out. The ambulance arrived a short time later and they carted him off to the hospital. He spent 5 years in prison after that, they charged him with assault of an officer._

A punch to the stomach brought her from her memory. She flinched when the fist came for her face again, but it froze in mid-air when someone yelled, “What are you doing?!” Amber saw Harold standing in the door way holding a tray. Her face went from alarmed to angry when the agent had moved from in front of Amber.

Harold rushed in but stopped when she stepped on something. Amber wanted to laugh when Harold realized the object beneath her foot was the end of an ear. “You… You cut off her ear.” Her face paled as the horror coated whispered words left her mouth. The tray she held began to clatter with her trembling hands. 

“Herald, I-“ Baldy began.

“What did you expect?” Amber’s coarse, breathless voice cut through the startled agent’s attempt to explain. The young elf looked up at the question. Amber looked away from her, “This is what happens when someone gets questioned by people with no decency.” She wasn’t angry, just in pain and bitter. She hadn't missed the dirty look the agent sent her way at the statement.

“Out!” Harold commanded after a few moments of silence. “Have Solas come find us immediately and then report to Leliana!” The agent shot Amber another dirty look and left the room. 

Amber just tried to relax as Harold spoke. Her heart was pounding and she could feel her muscles shake. She breathed in a couple of times to try and keep her composure. The adrenaline was leaving her system enough that the pain was beginning to seep into her body. She noted how very little blood had been spilled.

“I am so sor-“ Harold began as she hurried to set the tray down on whatever table was behind her. 

“Don’t!” Amber let anger cover her visage and voice, and Harold jumped audibly. “Don’t apologize. You don’t get to do that right now.” Harold was quiet as she came around and started to untie her.

By the time Solas arrived Amber was helping Harold untie her legs. He paused at the entrance to take in the state of the room. When Amber looked up she met his eyes and flushed, then immediately looked away, unconsciously turning her head so he couldn’t see her mutilated ear. 

“Oh, Solas! Please help her!” Harold’s voice sounded scared. She stood and turned toward him as he came in the room. “She cut off her ear.” She whispered the last part, as if Amber didn’t know.

“She did what?!” His pleasant voice was tinged with surprise and disbelief. He quickly removed the bag he had brought and set it on the floor. Making haste to where she remained seated. 

Amber felt his long fingers grasp her head and angle it so he could examine the damage. His hold became vise like when he spoke. “Fenedhis lasa!”

Solas had to release Amber’s face when she let out a shaky barked laugh at the words. “What the fuck was that?” her horse voice held no real amusement as it turned into frantic giggling and then out right laughter that made her fall out of the chair. She curled into herself and began rocking back and forth. Laughing quickly became tears, and finally she just lay there on her side, sobbing. _That’s all I seem to do here._

When she stilled Solas quickly bent to examine her. He ran his teal glowing hands over her body to take stock of the damage. She just inhaled and closed her eyes at the feel of his magic, too tired to be embarrassed by the memory of the last time he had used it on her, just hours ago.

After a quick once over he turned to her ear. He held his hands over her head and she could feel his magic spread across and down into her skin. A dark purple color glowed in her peripheral view. _I hadn't noticed the colors before._

“Is the end of it close?” He directed the question to Harold who had been standing over him fidgeting. Harold rushed to the tip on the floor and brought it back. He took it and examined the cut edge. “It’s too jagged of a cut.” Anger seethed from him and the purple glow changed to blue. None of them spoke as he finished healing her ear. 

When he had finished he helped her sit up then stand. It was a painful endeavor. Her chest hurt with every breath. Her legs and arms ached and pain shot through them all as she moved them. “Herald, grab my bag, please. We will take her up to one of the healer’s tents and finish there. I will need to set one of her ribs before she can have a healing potion.” Harold nodded and quietly moved as instructed. 

Amber attempted to walk on her own but her right leg wasn’t having it and gave out. Solas caught her and pulled her up straight again moving her right arm over his shoulders. She was coherent enough to flush as he had grasped her breast when catching her. He adjusted his grip quickly when he hoisted her back to her feet.

“Go ahead of us. We will have to move slowly.” Amber felt fatigue flow over her as they began to walk. She pulled her arm tight around his higher neck and winced with every step on her right leg. Harold was out of sight as they made their way out of the room.

“Thanks.” Her voice was tired and raw, it hurt to talk but she needed the distraction.

“For what?” 

“For keeping your word to watch my things.” She kept her eyes on the low hanging light fixture near the end of the hall.

“Your welcome, Da’len.” His voice was serious but kind.

“What’s that word mean?” She had time to ask now.

“It means little one or student.”

“I will take the student thanks.” She smiled and winced as it pulled at the injuries on her face.

“Ma nuvenin.” She heard the smirk in his voice.

“Pffff, and that?” She winced again silently chiding herself for not being careful.

“As you wish.” His light chuckle followed.

“Hmmm, you **could** make a good Dread Pirate Roberts.” It was her turn to smirk. He paused only long enough for her to notice but their pace never stopped.

”Who is the Dread Pirate Roberts?” His voice held a tightness when he asked. 

“He is a dashing, ruthless pirate know across the seven seas for his sword play. And he takes no prisoners.” She let a little of her whimsy for The Princess Bride cover her tone.

“That doesn’t sound very complementary.” He sounded slightly offended.

“It is absolutely a complement. I will tell you his story if I ever get the chance.” They reached the stairs at this point. She looks up them and then gives him a look. _Do we have to?_

“It is the only flight of stairs we will have to climb up, Da’len.” He gives her a patronizing smile to which she grunts...and winces. And they begin to trudge their way up slowly.


	8. Chapter 8

The Chantry hall was empty. The two slowly made their way toward the door. She couldn’t hear the echo of their footsteps. So she shifted her attention to her feet and watched as they produced zero sound. _I bet my ear drums are busted._ Her whole head hurt so she couldn’t tell if her ears were damaged beyond the obvious. She was pretty sure her nose was broken, _would magic fix it?_ As far as beatings went she felt this wasn’t as bad as it could have been. She was very aware of the lack of the top of her right ear. She hadn’t realized there would be that much of a difference. Would it make a big difference to the people here? She idly wondered how they would react if she asked them to even her ears out. _Symmetry’s a bitch, Kid._

Amber was pulled from her silent reflections when Solas paused midway down the open chamber. She looked at him only to find that he stared over her head into the dark. She followed his line of sight to watch as the Spy Master stepped from the shadows. Amber stiffened, their eyes locked as the tall woman strode forward. Amber felt like a deer caught in headlights.

“What may we do for you Lady Nightingale?” Solas’ voice was stiff.

“Why is the prisoner not in her cell, Solas?” Her voice was like ice, her eyes peered deep into Amber and she shivered physically. Solas’ fingers squeezed her gently, a reassuring gesture. 

“I had not realized the Inquisition was in the habit of torturing and mutilating cooperative guests. As her healer, I felt a change of scenery was in order. Especially, in the state I found her.” His tone serious and displeased. Amber felt tension build in the air around them.

“The prisoner has hardly been cooperative. Had she answered my agent’s questions this would not have been necessary.” She released Amber from her gaze and turned it to Solas.

“I informed you of the circumstances when I gave you my report, Lady Nightingale. Instead of waiting, like I had advised, you decided that brutality was the solution to this particular situation.” He paused. Amber turned back to him and watched as his head tilted, as if confused by the woman’s thought processes, his face was completely neutral. She was astonished that he had gone so far as to try and delay the interrogation. 

“And what, you would have me believe she is a being from another world?” She scoffed. “No. The circumstances surrounding her arrival are too suspicious. If what I hear is correct, they mimic the Herald’s too closely to be of mere coincidence.” 

“I seem to remember that most of those left in the wake of the Conclave felt the same before the Herald proved her innocence. Unfortunately, our new guest has no holy mark to unlock the Fade and insure her personal safety and health. I believe taking a step back and trying to learn from your hasty actions in regards to the Herald would have been a better answer to this woman’s sudden appearance.” His logic only looked and sounded calm.

“So you would give her free run of Haven? Knowing so little about her?” The Seeker questioned from behind Solas and Amber’s position. The only one who seemed surprised by her appearance was Amber. She jumped in the firm grip of Solas’ arm, looking towards her when the Seeker first spoke.

“When I reported to the Spy Master, I informed her of what happened during our travels after we found her. I showed her the object’s she asked me to look after. And I informed her of a promise Miss Argent had made with her brother. I am not privy to all of the details of that promise, but I was sure she was adamant about keeping it. It seems I was correct.” Another short pause, he was letting that fact sink in. “I had advised that we wait a short while so that I might gather knowledge on similar events that may have occurred in the past, if any. But ultimately the decision, of course, lay in the hands of the Advisers and the Herald. ” 

“The Herald had a say in this matter?” The Seeker asked the Spy Master with concern.

“She was with us when the Commander and I did the initial questioning. She left her in my hands when the prisoner broke into a rage and rushed her.” The Seeker looked to Amber at the Spy Masters words. Her lips went thin and Amber could see I KNEW IT written on her face.

“An outburst that I am sure was made after a very stressful day and sleepless night. Behind locked bars. I am surprised she has been as patient as she has.” 

“Solas, The Herald left me to question a hostile prisoner. She knew my agent was prepared for her to be reluctant to divulge information.”

“I highly doubt she meant for you to cut an elf’s ear off.” Amber looked back to his face. His blank expression belying the anger that seethed from him now. 

Silence took over for a short time. The tension was high and Amber fought to remain still as her legs began to tremble with the effort it took to stand, even with Solas’ support. That they were leaving her out of the conversation, whether because she was injured or they felt she had nothing important to add to the conversation, was not important. Amber just wanted to go back to her apartment and her isolated, solitary existence at this point.

“This is war Solas, I will do whatever is necessary to stop this threat and bring peace back to Thedas.” Amber had not realized the woman could get any scarier, but the cold facts twisted out of her mouth wrapping around Amber’s brain and planting within it, the image of her lifeless corpse being kicked into a river. Her trembling grew slightly in those few seconds. She once again felt a reassuring squeeze from Solas. 

“That is good to know Spy Master. We will be wary of your zealotry in the future. Now, if you do not mind, I must take my patient to the healer’s tent.” He began to usher Amber along. 

“We will take this matter up at the War Table. I will place her under constant guard until the matter is resolved. She will be returned to her cell when you are finished tending to her.” 

“As you say, Lady Nightingale, Lady Seeker” His voice was hard but he nodded politely in their directions, dipping his shoulders slightly. 

Solas escorted her out of the building. Once out of the door Amber took as deep a breath as she dare with broken ribs. She held her gag as best she could. Solas noticed anyway and gave her a tight but sympathetic smile. The two then made their way, through the dark, in silence. Solas frustrated and Amber too tired to talk.

 

Harold was waiting at the top of the first of two sets of stairs leading down. She was squeezing the strap to Solas’ bag and shot forward when she saw them, immediately standing to Amber’s left and matching their pace. “Did you see Leliana in the hall?”

“And the Seeker. I am to tend her and then escort her back to the cells.” He had a clipped tone.

Harold shook her head and huffed at that. She seemed to have collected herself from the evening’s earlier events. “I am going to speak to them about this in the morning. It is unacceptable, I did not think…” she trailed off and looked away when she noticed Amber had been watching her.

Amber stared at her face ignoring whenever they spoke again. She was sore and tired. The green light of the Breach reflected off the snow pleasantly. With her remarkably better eyesight she studied the markings on the woman’s face. The green tint made them darker than what Amber had thought they were in regular light. The pattern reminded her of the thorn forest in Sleeping Beauty. The one Prince Philip had to fight the evil Maleficent in. She studied the lines as they wove around the outside of her face crossing above her eye- “You have no eyebrows.” Her hoarse and tired voice blurted it out quietly, but it broke through whatever Solas had been saying to the woman.

The short elf paused and looked at Amber frustrated, “I’m sorry, what?” Amber was openly staring at her eyebrow less brow, making her visibly uncomfortable.

“Why did you shave off your eyebrows?” The woman seemed befuddled by the question. Silence ensued for a short time. 

“I-I-I… I am not really sure how to answer that question…” When Harold met her eyes she looked flabbergasted. _It’s a legitimate question damn it!_

“Lady Lavellan is a Dalish elf.” Both women looked up as Solas spoke. “The Dalish use the tattoos to honor their gods. The lack of hair on her brow is another layer of devotion. All that adorns her face is her dedication to her god.” His displeasure was palpable. 

“Thank you Solas.” Harold Lavellan did not sound thankful. Amber decided to keep her mouth shut after that, and the three shuffled along at agonizingly awkward pace. So she looked at the town bathed in the green glow. She found it oddly comforting. There was a pleasant humming that she felt in her bones and across her skin. She lost herself in it to drown out the pain… it also helped her ignore the smell.

 

The healer’s tents were not crowded. The one Solas led her into had three of ten cots occupied. The patients were asleep. Amber was more or less being carried by him when they arrived. That he hadn’t just dumped her onto the cot was surprising. He just helped her sit gently, Harold at his back.

“I’m sorry Solas.” Amber's fatigue showed in volumes.

“It is alright Da’len; rest here a moment.” She hated that he sounded like he was talking to a child. _Because you’ve been acting like one!_ He walked up to one of the attendants and they began to converse in quiet hurried tones.

“Amber?” Harold pulled Amber’s attention away from Solas’ back. She turned to see a sorrowful woman staring at her. “I had never thought that this would happen. That they would cu-. I am so very sorry. “Amber could see tears begin to well in her eyes, so she directed her own to Harold’s hands as they twisted in the strap of Solas’ bag. A deep breath in, “But me being sorry doesn’t change that this happened. “ The hands released the strap and clenched next to her sides. If she didn’t hear the determination in the woman’s voice she would be able to see it in her fists as they trembled. “I want to promise you that we will sort everything out. You were brought here on our whim and have been cooperative no matter your reluctance; and we have been very… inhospitable, for lack of a better term.” Amber looked back to her face when she was done speaking her expression mute. _Inhospitable huh?_ Harold’s tears had not fallen but her sorrow was genuine. 

All she could do was nod, what could she say. She was still angry about everything that had happened over the last day. That was a huge understatement, but she was too tired to do anything at this point. She still had not processed everything yet. There had just been so much going on. She had only been here _TWO DAYS!_ , one if you counted the fact that she had only seen the sunlight of one of them. 

Harold took the bag off and sat it next to her cot. “I don’t know anything about healing or magic so this is where I will take my leave.” She gave Amber a sad smile bowed slightly then walked to where Solas and the attendant were talking. The attendant bowed low when she stepped up. _That’s weird._ She said something to him and he nodded, spoke again, and walked to a table behind him a few paces. The elves spoke quietly for a few moments. Amber noticed how Harold leaned into Solas. She bristled a little at that, then caught herself and shook it off looking away as they stepped to the tent flap. 

She noted that the poles supporting the tent were a wood that had a green tint to it. A hue of green not like the light coming through the fabric. She was still amazed at the details she could see in the dark. Could tell the poles had not been varnished and maybe hastily sanded as if the tent had been constructed in a hurry. _Or maybe they don’t have things like polish or sandpaper here._ She sighed at the fact there was no indoor plumbing, no varnish, and no sandpaper. Something began blurring her vision; she hastily took in a deep breath and turned to examine the different colored glowing liquids in the beakers on the desk of the attendant. She began humming a Kenny G-esk version of Baby Got Back to take her mind off of sad realities.

 

When they finished speaking Harold gave her a small wave and stepped through the opening. Solas made his way back to her. “I will examine the damage and see what I can heal. We will address what to do about your ear after I am finished.” He was polite and tried to be reassuring. She was decidedly not emotional at this point in time and nodded.

He set about fixing her face first. Despite the warm flustering feeling that came with his familiar and now blue healing magic, it hurt a great deal. She could feel the bones grinding as her nose moved back into place. The skin sealed up and felt oddly tight where it had been ruptured. He moved to her torso next.

She definitely wasn’t going to ask why he wasn’t making contact with her skin at this point. _NOT HAPPENING!_ She stifled her cry when she felt the ribs grind and pop into place. He looked at her and an unidentifiable emotion flashed over his face and was gone; then gave a mumbled apology lost in thought again. He went back to finish healing her ribs and her leg. It went pretty quickly and the pain was becoming minor aches by the time he was finished. 

He moved back to her ear, angling her head to get a better view of it in the dim light. He stared at it for a long while. She could see two emotions form on his face, separately. The first was confusion, which prompted him to grip her head more firmly and lean in slightly. The second was astonishment which caused him to release her and stare into her with that look, The Look. The one that told her he was trying to figure something out. She was beginning to like that look on his face. 

“What did you find, a quarter?” Her voice was hoarse and quiet, and she didn’t wince when she huffed her amusement.

“I… I am not sure. I will wrap your head tonight. Do not remove the bandages for anyone but me. I will look in on you in the morning.” His voice sounded strange, urgent almost. Amber watched with alarm as he quickly wrapped her head. When he finished tending her he handed her a small vial with a pink liquid inside. “Take this, it will help you sleep without dreams tonight.” She looked up at the reluctance in his voice, his face showed a slight disappointment. As if he regretted giving her the potion. “I will give you a healing potion in the morning when I come to check on you.” She nodded at a loss for words, uncorked the tube and knocked it back. It tasted like raw potatoes.

He helped her up and they headed back to the Chantry. She was becoming drowsier with each step. And so before she could gather herself to figure out what to ask or say to him first they had made it into the building and down the stairs. She was stepping back into her cell when he told her good night. She only had enough energy to grunt in response and didn’t remember falling onto her cot, or him covering her with her new blanket.


	9. Chapter 9

Amber fell off her cot onto the floor making no sound. The sudden fall startled Maeve, the guard on duty just outside the cell, off her chair. The prisoner sat up and looked at the guard; an eerie green glow filed the room. She spoke. 

Maeve’s eyes widened and she gasped, “Maker help me!” She crawled backwards away from the cell. Her hands slipped on the damp floor and her back hit it with a muffled thud. She grunted and immediately rolled and pushed herself to her feet sprinting out of the dungeon. Amber was still very groggy and only had enough energy to pull her blanket off the cot and bundle a corner into a ball, she fell into it passing out again. 

 

********************************************************************

Commander Cullen, after closing out the eerie green glow of the Breach with his curtains, finally laid his head on his pillow just about two hours after midnight. The morning would come early with preparations for Therinfal Redoubt. He had been amazed that the Herald agreed to ask the Templars for help instead of the mages. It had been the only good thing about the day. 

His newest recruits were not taking to the training like they should be. They were not even getting the basics down, and they had been at it for at least two weeks. He had met Madame de Fer earlier that morning. She was going to be a handful and he was all too happy to leave her in the hands of Josephine and the Herald. 

And then the Herald’s other new guest arrived today. An elf, who was going to be more than trouble. She had arrived in the early afternoon. An hour later a visiting Orlesian noble had run out of her cabin screaming about horse droppings in her dresser. He had spotted the young blonde snickering just before he reached the upset woman. 

And on top of everything, the withdrawals from lyrium had been especially unpleasant today, and he knew it was only going to get worse. 

He sighed. The elf root potion he had taken just before coming to his cabin was starting to take effect. He had been worried he was too high strung for it to do any good, but it was actually working to ease his pain. For the first time in a while, he could feel himself slipping into the Fa-

A loud banging brought him to full consciousness, “Commander! Commander! The Breach is doing something to the sky!” 

He shot out of bed and into his boots his light bed clothes would have to do. “I’ll be right there!”

He stepped out of his door and looked up. His eyes widened as a green ring rippled out from the Breach. “Maker’s Breath!! Wake everyone, prepare for demons!” The solider ran off looking to the sky as he wound his way through the people coming from their cabins.

Screams and shouts filled the air as he began to run for the Herald’s cabin. She might be in pain. On his way there he came across Leliana and Josephine as they came from the Chantry. Cassandra kept running in the direction of the Herald’s cabin.

“What’s going on?” Leliana asked him, Josephine was staring at the sky slack jawed.

“I don’t know. I am having the soldiers prepare for demons. If only we had the Templars…”

“I do hope we have a plan to seal that, and soon. I have never heard such a ghastly noise in all my dreams before.” Madame de Fer in full dress came striding up behind Josephine.

“Wot’s goin’ on? Does it always do that? ‘Cause I’m not staying if it does?” The new blonde came running up to the group pulling trousers on underneath her too big tunic.

“No this is the first time it has behaved this way; we should be cautious but it doesn’t look like it has affected the Breach itself. Also, it seems to have woken everyone with a connection to the Fade.” The apostate came striding up watching as the green rippled across the sky again.

“Solas, do you have any idea what is going on?” Leliana was casting glances to the sky as well.

“I sensed a disturbance in the Veil. It felt as if something had called out. I awoke and when I stepped outside everyone was coming from their cabins and starting to panic. I sent those who would listen back inside. I will have to ask the spirits that have wandered back into the area if they know what has happened; if any remain after this event.”

“Commander! Commander!” All turned to see a woman running from the Chantry. She was a guard, the one he set to guard the prisoner at Leliana’s request. His stomach twisted at the thought that it might be the prisoner's doing. The guard, Maeve was her name, came running up to the group. She tripped when she noticed when another ripple of green flowed across the sky. He ran to help her up.

“What is it soldier?” He felt the others come closer.

“The prisoner her… her eyes ser! They glowed! Glowed just like the Breach!” The soldier was panting, fear painted her face. He turned and looked at the Spy Master. The Iron Bull was just behind her and the Herald was pushing through the small crowd.

“What’s going on? The Mark woke me and now the sky is doing this.” Her soft voice was fearful. A water like glow emanated from her hand in unison with another ripple.

“I don’t know. Someone needs to check on the prisoner. I will go and make sure Haven is ready to fend off demons.” He stood and helped the soldier to her feet. “Run get the Templars Lysette and Whilks, have them ready in the dungeon in case they are needed, and stay there to help.”

“I will check on Miss Argent.” Solas began walking towards the Chantry and the large crowd gathered at the entrance.

“I will go with Solas, after I send scouts to watch for new Rifts on the way to the Temple. Herald you should stay with the Commander in case any open up. Josephine, see to the visiting dignitaries. Inform them only of what you must to calm them. ” The Spy Master stepped away and walked toward the tent she used as her base of operations.

“Sera, Vivienne, Bull arm up and come with me we, will go with Commander Cullen and watch for signs of demons and rifts.” The Herald had authority in her voice. Cullen couldn’t help but admire her when it came out at times like these. “Cassandra, take the remaining Templars and whatever troops the Commander can spare and patrol the streets. Make sure people get back into their cabins. And have Adan start making rounds to see if anyone is having any reaction to the ripples.“

Everyone began moving when she was done speaking. Cullen, belatedly noticed he was still in his nightwear, headed back to his own cabin and slipped on his armor. He then made his way out the gates of Haven. Everyone stood ready to fight. “Herald, take your team and station yourselves where you can see the signal fires we set up near the Temple.”

She nodded and he turned to the soldiers stationed there. “Men and women of the Inquisition! Pray you have worked hard enough, we will need it all if the Breach starts spitting out demons again!” He began to assign soldiers to look outs and good defensive positions. He stood ready and waiting for the enemy.

************************************************************************

Leliana finished assigning five of her scouts to check out the ruins of the Temple. Two veterans and three rookies, this would be a good first assignment; sudden and most likely life threatening. She assigned the rest of those in town to help Cassandra with the civilians. She then made her way to the Chantry’s cells.

She found Solas leaning over the prisoner. “Have you been able to discover anything?” He looked back at her when he spoke. Displeasure covered his face.

“No, the guard said her eyes had glowed but they do not do so now. The sleeping draught is still in effect. It was strong enough she should have slept through the night and into the late morning. I cannot wake her and do not see how she could have woken herself. She would not have been in the Fade or aware on any level.” He had turned back to the prisoner. Leliana moved to his side. The prisoner was lying on the floor breathing softly in her sleep.

“You told me she wasn’t a mage.”

“She isn’t one. You may have Madame de Fer check her if you wish, but she is no mage.”

“I will have her check at the first opportunity. You might have missed something.” She thought of the Enchantress' words. “She said something about a noise she described it as ghastly. Did you hear anything?”

“I was in a memory at the time and would not be able to tell you if what I had heard was from the memory or in the Fade.”

“Lady Vivienne is not a Dreamer and she could tell. How could you not?” Her eyes watched him as he ran his hands down the prisoner’s body as if searching for something. He stopped in the areas her agent Sasha had reported targeting during the interrogation.

“Tell me Lady Nightingale, the kiss the Hero of Ferelden shared with the Witch in the shadows of the Haven supply store, do you think anything became of that?” She stopped, she had not thought of that since before she become the Divine’s Left Hand. Flashes of a handsome face, rough lips, calloused hands, and a deep laugh blurred across her mind. He had been sleeping with them both, had lied to her about it. And then he had chosen Morrigan. She felt a dull ache she had not felt in years. She had stayed and helped with the mission. She had, again, devoted herself to the Maker’s purpose after that. It had still hurt to see them together, but the Blight had been stopped. She had even left his company on good terms. But the feelings still lingered.

“We will get nothing from her tonight. She hasn’t been physically affected by the waves from the Breach. It is best to wait for her to awaken and see if she remembers anything.” He stood and turned to leave. She pulled herself from old memories and followed him out of the dungeon.

“What are you going to do?”

“I am going to search the Fade for anything that might help in case the cause is in the Fade around the Breach.” He walked through the front door of the Chantry, the crowd had been dispersed. Once outside they both paused and looked toward the sky. The ripples where coming from the Breach at longer intervals.

“Could this be an aftershock from closing the Rift at the Temple?” The reminder of her past had thrown her off, she answered herself, “Of course it’s not.”

“It is a possibility however unlikely. Like in dreams, time could move differently in the physical Fade. I will look into the possibility, but I highly doubt that is the case. Send for me if my assistance is required in the field” He headed toward his cabin.

The Nightingale stopped by her operations tent and grabbed her spare bow. Once outfitted for battle, she took off to the gates to see if they had encountered any enemies or demons. She needed to take her mind off distracting sad memories, and killing usually did the trick.

**********************************************************************************

Solas strode to his cabin and the wards disappeared with a thought. He winced at his limiter’s sharp reminder he should not use what capabilities he has recovered where the mortals could see. As he entered his cabin he rubbed where the bone lay against his chest and cursed his fortune.

His mind returned to the woman. He could not believe that she had woken. He had made sure she would sleep through the night. But it also gave evidence to his theory about who she was. His eyes rested on the small chest he kept her belongings in.

The device that had produced the music and the knowledge that it held was amazing. Arlathan had similar things, but the astounding thing was that there was no magic of any kind in it. It had taken an hour to work out the language. When it had stopped working he felt at a loss. The book, as she had called, he had come across was like nothing he had read before. Biology, from what he could surmise was a study of life itself. From a magic-less point of view. He did not want to damage the fragile thing by examining it. He had not had the chance to ask her about anything yet either. He let out a frustrated tut and strode to his bed.

He laid down and slipped into the Fade. He found Wisdom where he left it to go and send the call out. “My friend, it seems I overestimated the volume with which to send my message.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have always been bothered, I guess is the right word, by Solas' wolf bone pendant. What is it? Why is he wearing it? Why do I have to deal with how annoying I find it for him?
> 
> I came across Pride a story by Elaine de Feu on fanfiction.net.  
> I found it on Archive here by Kazia0002: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5096750/chapters/11722142  
> That his pendant is a limiter made perfect sense to me.
> 
> Her story is a good one and I highly recommend it.
> 
>  
> 
> I am afraid I didn't do well with this chapter. Your thoughts on how I did with the POV characters would be wonderful, thanks. Also does this change in the POV seem out of place?


	10. Chapter 10

Amber woke the next morning and felt groggy, like she had a hangover with no head ache. Her throat let out a moan as she turned her face out of the blanket she had bundled to use as a pillow. The stone floor was cold and as she began to pick herself up off of it, loud scraping sounded from outside her cell. A quick, “Get the Commander,” had her looking up to see a guard and a man in full plate mail sans helmet. A third was already rushing down the hall.

She pulled the blanket around her to ward off the chill in the air and silently debated whether they would be polite enough to let her use the bucket in private. She felt dank and needed a bath, she was past the fact she still smelled like pee. This situation was only getting worse by the day, and the scary bitch was probably only just getting started. 

She eyed the bucket and the guards. “Could I have a moment to use to bucket?” Her breath was thick and tasted of rotten potatoes. 

“Do demons even do that?” The leather clad guard’s was nervous as she spoke _Demon?_

“We were ordered not to leave you unsupervised creature.” He was older and his voice held authority.

“Creature, huh?” She snorted and moved to the bucket turning away from her audience. She used her blanket as a shield and blushed at the wall. When she finished she tore another piece off the ratty blanket, she heard one of the guards begin to protest but they stopped. She pulled her pants up and tied them. She looked at her hands and grimaced at the dirt. The need to wash them was almost an ache.

The guards didn’t seem abashed by what had happened. _Bet they’re used to it._ The prisoner and the guards stared at each other for a few moments not saying anything. She yawned and laid back down on the cot, lying on her side facing them. About ten or fifteen minutes later the Commander came in with Harold, the Spy Master, and Solas. She regarded them all from her spot on the cot. Harold hadn’t learned to school her expressions like the others, so the anxiousness she felt was undisguised. Spotting Solas had comforted Amber a bit, but she could tell something had happened or been decided, and that had her worried. The silence was tense but she had all day so she just yawned again, this time covering her mouth with the blanket.

“Who are you?” It was the Spy Master’s question. Silence followed and then another covered yawn.

“Amber, please, tell us something.” Harold didn’t plead but she was earnest.

“Something.” Her voice flat, she stared at the column behind the Commander.

“This is ridiculous! We are lucky that nothing came out of the Breach last night. Everyone in Haven is frightened again and the only ones who had any sleep were the dwarves and a prisoner!” The Commander was on edge. Something was definitely wrong. He began a too brisk pace, hand resting on his sheathed sword. She eyed the others they seemed alert, cautious. “I think we should just be done with her. “ She snorted at this. _When in doubt, snuff it out._

 

“Amber, last night the Breach emitted some sort of wave across the Veil.” Solas’ voice came out even, almost clinical, but not quite. He stood upright and tall, taller than the Spy Master from Amber’s vantage, arms resting comfortably at his sides. She met his eyes and could make out amusement that hadn’t shown when he spoke. “At presumably the same moment or shortly after you awoke and spoke to the guard on duty. When I arrived you were asleep again, I could not wake you.” His eyes studied her reaction.

“Didn’t you give me that pink stuff to help me sleep? Could that have caused it?” She let her actual concern show.

“Yes I did give you a sleeping draught. But it was strong enough that you should not have been able to wake at all, until this morning. Do you remember anything after taking the draught?” He still searched her as he spoke.

“I remember walking back here with you, and then waking up just now. What did I say?” 

“She spoke in an odd language, nothing I ever heard before. And her eyes was glowing green. Just like the Breach. ” The younger guard, whom she had named Demon, had a voice was thick with fear. Harold and the Commander turned to observe the guard. 

“Perhaps the enemy has come to spy on us herself.” All faces returned to Amber at the scary woman’s words. Harold gasped and the Commander unsheathed his sword despite the bars.

“You think that’s possible? That she is responsible for the Conclave? The Breach?” He moved forward and slightly in front of Harold.

“I highly doubt she is our enemy Lady Nightingale. She is not a mage for one, you had Madame de Fer look at her early this morning. She affirmed what I had already told you. Also Miss Argent does not sound like the shadow from the vision when the Herald closed the RIft.” Solas spoke with confidence. 

“The Herald is not a mage, and distortions in the Veil could explain the latter, no?”

“Not to this extent. I am quite certain she is not who caused the explosion at the Conclave. Her strange dress and accent lend credence to her story of another world. As well as the few possessions she had on her. Whoever she is, she was not the cause of our current situation.” 

“I think Solas is right, Leliana. She has been cooperative, even after yesterday.” Harold’s voice held an edge to it. “If anything I think her apparent ability might be of use.”

“That does not explain last night. She clearly has a connection to the Breach. We know nothing about her. And she apparently won’t share anything. We have no reason to trust her.” The Commander responded.

“I agree with Commander Cullen. She is a liability.” The Nightingale still had not removed her eyes from Amber.

 

“I will study what I can and see if I can find an answer as to why she reacted to the incident last night. She did fall from a Rift perhaps it is similar to the Herald’s mark. We are distracted by keeping her locked up. We need to focus on closing the Breach and finding who did this.”

“I am not comfortable having her roam Haven.” The Spy Master retorted.

“We know she keeps her promises. That should do for now.” Solas pointed out. Amber didn’t like where he was leading the conversation.

“I don’t make just any promise.”

“If you are unwilling to tell us what we ask, we have no choice but to kill you. If we are unable to find a way to do that, we keep you locked up. You must be willing to give us something in exchange for letting you out. Some assurance of our safety is necessary.“ The Nightingale laid out the ultimatum. Amber knew she was right. She had to promise because it was the only thing she had proven about herself to these people. _I don’t have any other ideas on how to get out of here anyway._

“Until the Breach is closed I promise to aid you in a reasonable fashion while doing nothing to hinder or hurt your efforts.” 

“That’s not good enough.” The Spy Master was a greedy one.

“It’s what I can offer; after you’ve proven you don’t mind doing horrible things to me.” 

“We should accept.” Harold said quietly.

“Let us take a day to discuss this. In the mean time we are already late with our preparations for the journey to Therinfal Redoubt.” The Commander began to walk away. “You two are stationed here, your relief will be here at night fall,” he directed to the soldiers on the way out. Leliana gave Amber a hard look, nodded toward the two elves and left as well.

“Therinfal Redoubt? I thought you were going to request the help of the Mages?” Solas was surprised.

“The meeting last night was very intense. But after all the discussions we decided to go with the more controlled power.” Harold sounded apologetic.

“Of Course Herald, now if you will excuse us, I need to tend to my charge,” a clear dismissal. He seemed disappointed as he templed his fingers and bowed his head slightly. The action made Amber bristle inside. It seemed to have a similar more visible effect on Harold, as her mouth drew to a tight line. She had opened her mouth to say something else but decided against. A stiff nod to him and a brusque good day to the soldiers as she walked out left the room awkwardly silent.

He regarded the guards and sighed lightly, his disappointment still visible. She watched as he requested they open the cell door. She stood as he walked in and was about to remove the blanket when she remembered she stunk horribly of urine and sweat. Her face pinked at the thought. 

“It’s alright Da’len. I am aware you have not had a bath.” He gave her a small reassuring smile and she blushed deeper as she removed the blanket. Thankfully his face was expressionless as he began to test all of the areas that had been injured the day before. 

“What war was the Spy Master talking about last night?” Her question quiet enough for the guards to stay focused on their own conversation.

Without looking up, “The Mages and the Templars have been at war, officially, for four years.”

“Officially?”

“When a mage comes into their gift, it is usually at an early age. The new mage is removed from their home and placed in a Circle. The Circles raise the mages and teach them about magic. The Templars are the so called guardians. They watch every aspect of a mages life and decide whether or not they can handle their power.”

“And if they can’t?” 

“They die. The mages were subjugated for years. The Rite of Tranquility, used render a mage unable to use magic, cuts the mage’s connection to the Fade. This Rite also cuts off all emotions. The Templars of the Kirkwall Circle began to perform the Rite for every small transgression of the rules. Four years ago a human mage named Anders blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall killing all inside to start a war.” 

“People are the same in every world.” Her words were quiet but he had heard and paused to look her in the face.

“Why do you think that, Da’len?”

“People in my world use violence to fight the things they considered unjust or wrong. Many innocent people die there every day for someone else’s beliefs. It’s almost worse because we could wipe out cities in less than an hour, if we really wanted.” Her response was off hand, but sad. Solas stared and opened his mouth but she cut him off, “Yes, it’s possible, even without magic. It’s easy, all you have to do is turn a key and push a button.” She let her eyes mingle with his a few seconds. He didn’t quite believe her but he didn’t ask anything else. Their audience had gone quiet. Amber knew if she looked up they would be staring back.

She stood in sober thought for a while. He finished his exam on her torso and leg and motioned for her to sit, she complied. Standing, he hesitated before he began to unwrap her head. He made an effort to keep her head from the view of the guards. Her mind went back to his reaction the night before. It was still blurry, from the draught she guessed, but she remembered his astonishment. _What had he seen?_

Amber looked up to watch his face as he finished with the bandages. He was unguarded with his expression for the moment and he dripped of expectancy. When the bandages were off her ear his stormy blues widened, awe touched his lips with a slightly open mouth that turned to a smile. She watched as he reached toward her ear. Her eyes locked on his hand as it moved slowly closer. Just as his outstretched finger was about to touch her mangled ear he seemed to catch himself and pulled back. She looked back to his face only to be trapped in deep pools of navy blue.

“ Viras Elgar’vhen’an.” He said the foreign words in a very quiet whisper and stared at her in open wonder. He smiled, genuinely and into her eyes, like he had found a lost treasure. _He has a pretty smile._ She blushed and looked away reaching to cover her half ear.

But her fingers traveled up, past where she was sure the Baldy had cut. She found her ear elongated, tipped, and whole. Her jaw dropped. As she traced and felt the new tip confusion built up inside her. _How?!_ She had lost it; had felt each draw of the dagger tearing the flesh and the sharp release as the cartilage broke with the final rip. Her eyes shot back to Solas who now seemed to be devouring her with his eyes. They studied her face, and questions filled him with each breath. 

Amber opened her mouth to ask how it had happened. But he placed one finger to his lips smiling behind it. She closed her mouth. She didn’t know what was going on. Fear began to build up along with the confusion. She pleaded with her eyes for answers.

“Your ear will be fully healed soon.” He stated a loud, but not too much so. “You are fortunate it was able to be restored.” His face returned to its normal state. All traces of what ever had just been there was gone. He began to wrap her head again. He leaned in closer to her, seemingly checking the bandages and whispered, “I will speak with you in the Fade if you will let me.”

Amber stared, confused. “What’s the Fade?” she whispered back.

Solas looked serious at her question and then quietly stated. “I will find you and explain this evening.” He then turned away; she watched his back as he went. He left her thoroughly confused as to what had happened.

The rest of the day was boring until two elves entered carrying a bucket of water and a bundle of cloth. “The Herald said to help her bathe.” The elf who spoke had short brown hair and was very spindly in the arm and leg area. Her voice was nervous as she addressed the guards. The other had long black hair with light violet eyes. She watched Amber cautiously.

The guards nodded and Demon moved to open Amber’s cell. Creature drew his sword and addressed her, “You will behave or we will put you down.” _Did he not know? More importantly, could he do it?_ Amber’s curiosity at the extent of her abilities, to survive an arrow to the chest and, from the way Solas had acted, maybe grow back an ear, fought with the thought she might just have been too high on adrenaline and that he had restored her ear. The more reasonable explanation was scarier at this point, so she just rolled her eyes.

The two elves looked at Creature. He had not moved and apparently had not planned on it. “Ser, the Herald said to afford her as much comfort as we could. Would you please step to the hall?” Her voice was nervous. It sounded as if she had never spoken like that before.

“Just the hall,” Creature intoned. Demon made to object but he cut her off, “the Herald asked. I will do as she asks Maeve.”

“But what if the elves are just making it up?” 

“Then they **will** be punished for using the Herald’s name to lie.” _Why is Harold so important?_ He walked from the room carrying a chair. The elves both shivered at his promise and turned to their task.

Amber didn’t have to fight them to clean herself, they seemed just as scared of her as of the guards, if not more so. She tried to talk to them a few times, but they jumped or stuttered their way back to silence. It was disappointing, again. _On the brightside, BATH!_

She cleaned herself as thoroughly as she could from a bucket. She couldn’t avoid showing her tattoos. She almost wished they would ask… it would break the ice; though the overall theme of death seemed to hinder their curiosity from winning out against their fear. The braver short haired one, who had been able to stammer out Mirwen for a name, moved forward when she had asked for help with her back. 

When the awkward bath was done the elves took her toilet bucket and left. Amber assumed they would return it empty. She hadn’t understood what Mirwen had mumbled when she picked it up. Demon locked the door and Creature returned to his spot. Amber sat on her cot and sang softly to herself. After a few threats for silence, she quit and made a game of interjecting into their conversation at odd intervals. When they became tired of that she decided to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Belatedly: I got the Elvhen from FenxShiral's Project Elvhen. As well as Mirwen's name. I hope i didn't butcher it too much.


	11. Chapter 11

Sixteen year old Amber sat in the tattoo chair. The man was putting ink under the first layers of her skin at the place where her torso met her right hip. Her older brothers were laughing with her as she winced at the pain. She felt light. Like things where how they had once been, before Anna had died. The man before her was sour but laughed at some of her brothers’ jokes anyway. He finished up more quickly than they had thought he would.

She looked down at the half dollar sized tattoo and felt a sense of pride swell in her. Then she remembered things. She had felt shame for this tattoo in the past. Which was ridiculous, she had just gotten it; but then flashes of people sneering at her. One girl had punched her in the face when she saw the others she had acquired in her life. She then remembered getting jumped outside of a supermarket when she had slipped in to buy milk really quick before she went home. She had worn a tank top and for some ungodly reason thought it was safe to go into a public area for any amount of time without covering up.

She looked up to Jason and Jackson. They were not smiling anymore. They were not there. She was in a Salvador Dali type place. The world was like space but green, black rocks were floating everywhere. And a large black battleship loomed in the distant sky among the asteroids of various shapes and sizes. She was alarmed but did not feel fear. In fact she felt comfortable, almost at ease when she thought about it. She even began to explore the area. 

A jagged ledge jutted out a few yards away. She walked up to it and looked down. She was amazed that below was more of the floating rocks and green sky. She marveled as different shades of green marbled through this sky. She looked for a way to climb down but there were no good hand holds so she decided to go towards the rocky hills nearby. After climbing on top of those hills she laughed at the sheer immensity of this place. Some of the asteroids looked like ships or small towns. One in the distance looked to be a small planet, if she squinted just so she thought she could see the small rock that orbited it. 

She laughed again. A real joyful laugh, too. No one was around. NO one to judge her. To call her names, or to worry about how they would end up hating her after they got to know her past. This would be perfect if she could stay here. It felt like home. She moved forward looking for a way to climb up onto one of the little rocks that floated in the air. She was amazed when the smaller floating rocks began to move to form a staircase for her. She eagerly ran up them to find the small island was porous and honeycomb like.

“This is new.” She startled and turned at the voice. Solas stood behind her on the lava rock 

“Solas!” She smiled at him, a large smile. “Look at this place! Isn’t it beautiful?” She was very excited and reached out and grabbed his hand. “Come let me show you!” She pulled him to where one could see the full view of the Battleship up high, standing on a rock to get a better vantage. The ships and asteroids floating along their merry little ways “See, beautiful!” She looked back at him, releasing his hand, he was watching her. His face was calm and his eyes showed curiosity and a glint of a smile.

“What? Look!” She motioned out to the view before them and his eyes scanned over the horizon. They lingered on the Battleship. “That one is shaped like a battleship don’t you think?”

“Battleship?” He was amused at her comparison. “In this age, most in Thedas call it the Black City, Seat of the Maker.”

“It looks more like a battleship to me.” She turned back to it and looked to see if he was right. “Is the Maker God here?”

“For some, as legend tells the Magisters of the Imperium entered the Golden City and tainted it with their sinfulness turning it black. That is where the Blights supposedly come from.” 

“Sounds like the Plague” 

“It is a sickness. The Taint corrupts living things and turns them to Darkspawn. The Darkspawn spend their lives seeking the Old Gods in the deep roads and when they find them they taint them. The tainted gods are called Archdemons. They organize the Darkspawn and lead an army to the surface. That is the Blight.”

“That’s not good.”

“No, it is not.” The two stood watching the Black Battleship for a moment.

“What do you believe in?”

“That is a good question, for another time. Tonight’s purpose is to teach you about the Fade; and then, if I have your permission, I have some questions.” He smiled at her. She saw a glint in his eye. 

“I have more questions for you too, you know?” 

“I surmised as much, but first the Fade!” He offered his hand to help her down from her perch. They began walking down the steps.

“What is the Fade?” She asked absentmindedly, still fascinated by the landscape.

“In short, the place of dreams, you obviously dream in your world?”

“We dream but it’s in our heads. Our subconscious dealing with what is going on in our lives.”

“Our dreams serve a similar function. But when we dream our spirits go beyond the Veil into the Fade. “

“Like an out of body experience?”

“Something like that yes. Most people just pass through their dreams, those with a stronger connection to the Fade, like mages, can control them.” 

“Control dreams? Like lucid dreaming?”

“I am not familiar with the term, but yes most mages can control their dreams. Then there are the Somniari, the Dreamers. They walk the Fade while they sleep. And depending on their skill they can see the memories of places long forgotten.” His voice had a bit of whimsy.

“The memories of places long forgotten? Like a playback?“ He looked confused by the term. “A reenactment?” she clarified.

“Sort of, the spirits who reenact the memories embody the emotions of the event. Different spirits will show the same memory differently.”

“Ghosts watch us while we are awake?” She let a tinge of worry in her voice.

He chuckled again, “Not ghosts. Spirits, they embody emotions like joy, valor, curiosity, wisdom and so on. A spirit of rage will act out a soldiers’ rage while a spirit of fear or terror will show that same solider but he strikes down his enemy in fear instead of anger.” 

She snorted a laugh. “That’s interesting. It’s like you get to watch historical movies while you sleep and you never see the same one twice.’”

“Movies?” He stopped and tilted his head when she looked to him.

“They are like moving pictures or paintings.” She wished she could show him.

“What is that?” His eyes had focused on something behind her. She turned around and an old fashioned box TV like the one her grandmother had sat on the black rock. 

“A TV! How did that get there? Anyways, you can watch movies on it!” At her words the TV flashed on. She became delighted, “I wonder what’s on!” She rushed over to it, Solas followed. “You seem to like history so maybe there is something on the History Channel.” She spoke to herself as she turned the top knob to on, and then clicked the second knob until she found what she was looking for. It was a documentary on mediaeval weaponry.

She turned to see if Solas was as interested in this as he was in her player. He definitely was, she found him in a trance like state he stepped toward the box TV and crouched in front of it, his eyes studying everything on the screen. The glow from the screen moving across his form gave him that otherworldly look. After about five minutes, “You like it?”

“Hmmm.” He turned almost startled, like he had forgotten she was there. “Oh, yes, excuse me. This is extraordinary!” He stood reluctantly still watching the experts discuss the fields. She could almost feel the awe. “You spoke of this TV as if it was a normal occurrence.” It was more of a question.

“Yes, everyone has one. This is one from when my grandmother was little. The ones now are a lot thinner; with better picture.”

“You said you did not have magic in your world. This is all done without magic?” He was having a hard time focusing on her and not the television.

“Yes, inside of it is metal and glass it is shaped into objects that can conduct electricity and light. I am not sure how exactly it does all that but this is the end results.” Her eyes were on the TV as well. _Commercials here too? Figures._

“Electricty?” 

“It’s what we call lightning when we use it for power.”  
“Interesting. Instead of magic you harness the powers of nature to do what you cannot?”

“That’s an odd way to put it but yeah.” _Damn more commercials._

“Does the music device run on this electricity?”

“Yeah! Did you like it? What did you listen too?” She turned back to him the TV commercials forgotten. 

“I found some of the music… odd I would like to listen with you and ask you about some of it. I also read part a book about biology. But the face went black.” 

“The battery ran out. Too bad there is no way to recharge it…”She pouted a little at that.

“Recharge? As in put more electricity into it?” He asked with almost intense curiosity.

“Yeah you plug it into a power source and it will store electricity in the battery.”

“Do you know how much electricity it takes?”

“Not really. A low voltage, err… amount, over a few hours? She thought of the charger and a wall appeared where the TV had been.

“Woah, how did that happen?” She walked to the wall. Her charger was plugged in near the floor. She unplugged and examined it. He strode near to examine the device with her.

“We are in the Fade and you seem quite proficient at manipulating it.” She looked up at him shock on her face, he had spoken absentmindedly still observing the object in her hands. 

‘We are in the Fade right now? I'm dreaming?!” She began to look around dumbfounded. “We are." he affirmed. "I have never heard of someone dreaming of the Fade before. It is very interesting how accurate your dream is. And that you can touch the objects you dream of is fascinating.” His finger ran along the cord of the plug. The edges fuzzed and his finger passed through. After letting her examine her own dream a few moments, “Would you like to see the Fade outside your dream?”

She nodded slowly still flabbergasted, the scene changed but only slightly. Different shaped rocks were floating about in different places. The Battleship was more to the horizon. And a giant black hole was nearly over them, she could barely look at it to see little pinpoints of light through the center. _Stars?_ She shivered as the air shifted over her, the pressure had changed. Goosebumps formed on her arms and she felt a slight wave of nausea crawl into her stomach. The hole made this dreamland eerie. “This is a little frightening. Is that creepy hole the Breach?”

“Yes.” She heard that tone in his voice again and turned back to him, hugging herself to stave off the creepiness of the Breach. He was watching her again, curiosity poured out of him. She blushed as his eyes roved over her.

“What is it? You look at me like that sometimes. It’s not unnerving but I just think you want to say something or ask me questions but you don’t. “

“You are unique. Most everyone seems on edge under the glow of the Breach. But last night, and now in the Fade, you react differently. You feel the Breach here as if you were physically in the Fade but you are not. And you seem more at home here than in the waking world. I just wonder why that is.” His eyes had rested in her own as they spoke.

“Pffff.” She snorted, slightly embarrassed that he had been paying that close attention to her last night. “I have no idea. But if I hang around long enough maybe you can help me find out?” Her eyes shifted back to the Breach and she shivered again.

“It would be my pleasure.” She looked back at him and he smiled at her warmly.“You had some other questions for me?”

“Yes, firstly…You don’t wear shoes?” Her eyes moved down to his feet. 

He laughed at that, “No, Da’len, I wear foot wraps if anything at all.”

“Why?” Her eyes found his again.

“I am more comfortable.” He looked down at her feet. “Your own shoes seem odd.”

“What my tennis shoes? Nah they're comfy. I just don’t understand how you can walk around in the snow.” 

“Lots of practice.” He smiled at here again. 

“Will you shoe me how to do the feet wrap things? You gave me some, but I didn’t know what they were. Also what is the other strap for?” 

“Yes and the other is a breast band.” She blushed at that.

“Um… well… yeah… I guess I will need help with that too? I will ask one of the elves when they help me bathe again, or hopefully when I get out.” She looked out at the green sky to avoid looking him in the eye. _Should have asked Maywen…err..Mirwen._

He graciously moved the conversation on, “Anything else you want to know?”

“Yes, lots. But first... um… Did you heal my ear?”

“I did not restore it, but I am researching a theory on how you regrew it.” He looked to the marbled green sky as if watching for something.

“I am guessing it’s not a normal thing to regrow body parts here, even for elves?” She tugged her ear unconsciously and let out an awkward laugh. 

“No. We once had the magic to do so but… so much was lost.” His voice was serious; he was staring at nothing when she looked back at him, his mind working. His face had a shadow of sorrow. She reached out and touched his arm. His face returned to neutral before his eyes met hers.

“It’s alright Solas… If you want to talk…” It was awkward and lame, but she didn’t know what else to say. 

“Thoughts for another day Da’len.” He seemed to shake himself out of the abrupt sadness and offered his arm. “Come I will tell you about spirits before we wake.” She stared at his arm for a moment. “What is it?”

“Um… I am just not used to that kind of thing. It’s considered old fashioned where I come from.”

He retracted his arm, “I did not mean to offend Da’len.”

“No it’s alright! I am not offended,” she assured reaching out to stop his retracting arm. “I should get used to how you guys do things right? When in Rome… right?” she chuckled at that. 

He smiled down at her again and she took his arm when he offered it a second time. “Where is Rome and what is it like?” He lead her off as she explained Italy. She didn’t fail to notice the little rocks as they built the floor in front of them. 

_I LOVE THE FADE!_


	12. Chapter 12

Amber opened her eyes and stared at the canvas above her. She got out the day Harold and company left for Therinfal Redoubt. Solas had given her a brief history of Thedas and a rundown on the current events and the important members of the Inquisition while they were in the Fade for the second time. He had left her things in a bag and had a messenger deliver it to her when she had been released. A note inside explained that the bag was enchanted to protect her things because, “All too often extraordinary things go missing without a trace.”

She smiled at that and had felt better about her predicament. She had been unable to visit the raw Fade without Solas but had gotten the hang of lucid dreaming. She hated waking up, and today was no exception. 

He also explained that she needed to be more liberal with her interpretation of her promise, “Being polite and giving information are two different things.” She had been reluctant to do it. But on the day she was let out the Spy Master had promised to test how far her abilities went if she didn’t at least cooperate in the basic everyday interactions. So she was polite, enough. She didn’t like being a recruit and did the bare minimum she could to stay out of trouble.

A loud thud brought her attention to her new tent mates Harkness, Tobooth, and Burgess. They were human… so tall. Harkness and Tobooth had light and dark brown hair respectively, while Burgeuss was a red head. She didn’t talk with them much and tried to be polite. But that had not gone well; arguments were not rare especially after Amber caught Tobooth trying to get a look into her bag. A jolt of electricity had prevented her from doing so. 

She had been reported for being a mage, but the few Templars who were in Haven had disproved that quickly. Amber had to explain the bag to her superior to keep it. She didn’t say what was in it and they didn’t ask. They did made note she was on good terms with the apostate who traveled with Harold. 

“You better get up elf. We aren’t running laps for you.” Tobooth was the nicest of the three, and that was being generous. Amber could feel the anger that had been steadily growing over the past two weeks stir. They always called her elf, like they didn’t know her name.

She got up and began to dress. Putting on her armor was the only thing she had learned with any kind of ease. Everything else was grueling. She was last in for the morning runs every morning, her sword work sucked, and her foot work always wound up tripping either her or her neighbors. Most of the recruits didn’t like her. The twenty or so men and women who were training along with her had run at least twenty miles of laps because of her. She was pretty sure that was why she had become so clumsy over the past few weeks. People running into her, she fell over other people’s feet more than once a day it seemed, and the dirty looks and cheap elbows while superiors weren’t looking had steadily increased over their time together; and along with that her growing apathy for Thedas. _That’s two worlds I could care less about._

“Get a move on. We need to be out on the field!” Tobooth knocked on her metal back plate. Amber had to take a deep breath not to snap at her. She didn’t want to be doing this stuff, she would much rather spend her whole day in the Fade. Even the vat house doing laundry was better. _At least the elves leave me alone._ This was not going to be a good day.

“Yeah, yeah…I’m coming.” She grabbed her helmet and followed the others outside of the tent. They had gone on ahead. She didn’t really feel like running laps so she sped up her pace and made it to her position in formation just before they called attention and started addressing the recruits. 

From her position on the end she could see the Breach over the tree line to her left. Being able to see it always made training slightly more tolerable. Roll call and morning announcements were boring so she zoned out and thought about the Fade while staring at the black rocks floating just beneath the threshold. She was debating on whether or not she would be able to climb through that hole or one of the smaller rifts she had heard about when they called her name. “Here,” her automatic response.

“Recruit Argent!” It was more insistent.

“Here!” She almost snarled. She looked forward and found everyone staring at her. _Crap, I missed something!_

“Front and center recruit!”

“Chhh.” This was not good. She made a half-hearted attempt to jog and ignored the glares from around her. She reached Lieutenant Cobb, bumped her fist to her chest in salute, “Argent, reporting.”

“You need to watch your attitude solider.” The stern older man didn’t like her at all. “Turn and face the recruits.” She attempted an about face but missed the foot work and stumbled a little before correcting it. 

He addressed the company in a loud gruff voice, “It is important to pay attention during morning announcements. We run over the goals of the day and give instructions as to how to perform the training. Please do not day dream. It is embarrassing not only for you, but for your fellow recruits.” He paced the front of the formation and eyed the faces in front letting that information sink in.

“Recruits! When training, what is the most important piece of equipment?”

“Our swords, Ser!” They spoke in unison. _God damn it!_ She was now very aware of the lack of the bulky weight of her sword on her left hip. She pushed her frustration down into the growing pile of negative emotions so she could get through this dressing down.

“What happens when we forget that piece of equipment in battle?” His voice boomed as he strode passed her still addressing the other soldiers. She felt eyes land on her back. Those were most likely the Commander’s eyes. She wondered if he regretted having her as a part of his recruits.

“We die!” She could feel a strong undercurrent of anger in their collective voice, they all knew laps were coming.

“How do we make sure our fellow soldiers don’t die because they forgot their sword?”

“We help them!” It echoed darkly over the frozen lake.

“The company will run laps until Recruit Argent returns with her sword, then another ten. Begin!” Lt. Cobb was a tough son of a bitch. Amber would pay for this later, the dirty looks she was getting from the others promised as much. She sighed and started off to her tent as leisurely paced as she could justify. The rest of the morning went about as expected. She received a few hard jabs to the face while no one in charge was looking; nothing too serious as to cause a bruise but enough to give her a bloody nose. Luckily she was a light bleeder, they usually quit with the face jabs when they remembered just how little she bled. So she found herself on the ground most of the morning after that. After lunch in the mess, she reported to Lt. Cobb and asked to be released for her laundry duties. 

“Sorry recruit we have already let them know you wouldn’t be there today. Fall in.” She turned at his words and scowled her way back to her position. The day would only get worse. She noticed a large group of people gathered at the practice ring. They held weapons and acted comfortable on the field. She spotted with audible groan that Cremisius Aclassi leaned against the wooden fence in all his masculine glory. This was the Bull’s Chargers. 

Commander Cullen took position at the head of the company. “Recruits! You have been working hard and it is finally starting to show. Today we have a little test!” She could hear quiet protests from her right. “To make it more interesting we are having a tourney. The one who gets highest place gets tomorrow to rest!” A large cheer sounded from the recruits. Amber definitely wanted a day off as well, but did not want to fight. “You will be facing off against each other! And the top three winners will face some of the Bull’s Chargers! The one to last the longest in the ring will win.” He motioned to where the Chargers rested against the ring. She could see a large portion of the Chargers watching them with a glint in their eyes.

The first two brackets went by quickly. She was in the second bout of the third bracket. Her spot in the back of the crowd let her miss most of the matches. The first fight of her bracket went by faster than she would have liked and they called her to the ring. She didn’t hurry. 

The spectators were divided down the middle, Chargers on one half Inquisition on the other. There were veterans in the Inquisition crowd. She could swear money changed hands. As she passed through the gates she could hear the cheers change to jeers. Her opponent was already in the ring. Tobooth was enjoying the crowd and trying to rile them up, succeeding. Amber never understood why most people found her so charismatic. They locked eyes and genuine excitement changed to disappointment.

“Really, you?! I already won!” Those that could hear added their approval of her opinion. Some of those who she practiced with regularly called her over. As she went over, Amber observed the crowd again. The Chargers were watching her intently. She shivered as she met Aclassi’s brown eyes and looked away. Tobooth was walking back to the center of the ring to start the fight.

Amber just stopped and stared wide eyed with intensity causing Tobooth to falter in her stride to the center of the ring. After a ten count Amber states loud enough for just her, “Did you know a head remains conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after decapitation?” She then moved immediately into starting position, leaving her opponent to stare at her a few seconds. Tobooth tried not to let her unsettled nerves show. The atmosphere was reaching that nice stage of distracting awkwardness Amber liked to stoke before sparing or fighting.

Despite the creep factor the signal went down and Tobooth lunged. Amber felt the blow as the flat part of the sword hit her shoulder hard; she shook out her arm while Tobooth was readying for the next blow. It was more pronounced but Amber blocked the overhead swing with one hand on the blade the other holding the hilt. The thin cloth of her glove sliced on the blade but the cut to her skin. She winced.

“That’s twenty seconds!” She shouted. Amber’s opponent paused long enough for a swing to whistle by her left arm. “Shit!” The counter attack knocked Amber to the ground she rolled clumsily a foot or two and stood as fast as possible. The crowd of recruits cheered Tobooth on.

“Shut up you creep.” Another horizontal swing caught Amber on the cheek. _Her sword is sharper than it should be!_  
She jumped back belatedly and brushed her hand to the slice. She winced when the pain shot through her face. A quick glance to the light colored leather showed dark pink and her distraction earned her a jab in the shoulder knocking her back. She retaliated with a half-hearted swing that put her off balance and she stumbled forward. Tobooth sent a kick to her stomach and she stumbled backward barely keeping her feet, and a swing that Amber dodged, for once, jumping back. 

“The last thing to go is your hearing!” Amber shouted and noticed the fence was closer than her opponent so she stepped forward quick and slashed from the right; she caught more air and laughs with that one, as well as a pommel to the right arm, she barely held on to her sword.. Skill was obviously in Tobooth’s corner but Amber was a dirty fighter. She used the blow to her arm as an opportunity to reach down and grab a handful of dirt and snow. She threw it in Tobooth’s face and lunged forward pushing her to the ground easily pinning her neck with the blade. The soldiers behind her booed, she looked to the lieutenant who didn’t seem pleased. He spoke with the others in charge and then addressed her.

“That was dirty, why should we give you the win?”

“Because in reality I would be alive and she would not.” She stood sheathed her sword and turned to leave the ring, keeping her face down. _Not like I will be doing this forever._ The crowd was jeering. The Chargers seemed to have mixed reactions to the fight. She locked eyes with the Charger’s second in command again. He had a speculating look; Amber looked away and made her way out of the gate. 

The crowd didn’t let her through unscathed. She had to wipe anonymous spit off her uniform. She gaged a few times to the entertainment of those she wove her way through. A few feet caught her own and she stumbled but stayed on her feet. Some called her names but she had learned to tune it out. Most of what they said was just unchanging and unimaginative. After making it through the crowd she walked the long walk to the mess tent to get water and wipe off her armor better; missing the three people who broke from the crowds to follow.

Her apparent ability to selfheal had been a blessing. Solas had told her he would let her know if he found out something to explain it. They had speculated it was why she hadn’t died when she had been shot. She felt like it was different, that it was faster than before the incident with Baldy. But she didn’t have anything to compare it to. Solas had told her to avoid talking about it with anyone. And she did. As far as she was absolutely aware no one other than the two of them knew about it. The Spy Master had noticed her ear but she didn’t question her about so Solas probably informed the top about it. She just got hard looks from the woman the few times they had seen each other.

Her gauntlets and helmet came off easily in the shade of the mess tent. She sat them beside her after sitting on one of the benches. She examined her left hand. The cut was gone. 

One of the cook’s assistants brought her a canteen. They had stopped questioning her after she had described what happens to someone who is severely dehydrated. _Not that I ever have been._ She kept her face down and thanked the girl dismissing her as politely as possible.

After wetting her fingers she touched the gash on her face. They came back pink. It was creepy how little she bled here. It gave her the creeps if she thought about it too hard. She used the softer part of her sleeve to gently wipe at her face and clean it a bit. If anyone said anything she hoped it would be when it had healed a good bit. That it felt thinner than when it had in the battle was a good _and creepy_ thing. She drank deeply from the canteen and tried to avoid her misery. 

“That is not how soldiers are taught to fight.” It was a heavily accented voice. She turned, hiding her wound, to find the brunette elf from the Chargers standing a bench away.

“I’m not a soldier.”

“You are training to be one.”

“For now.” She turned back and drank deeply again trying to finish it so she could leave and see if the lieutenant disqualified her.

“The Chief said to keep an eye on you. He says you are supposedly like the Herald.” Amber snorted water up her nose and then tried to cough it out. “I don’t think he believes it.”

“Satan thinks I need to be watched too, huh?” It was said more to herself than anyone else. She ignored the second shadow that walked in the mess tent.

“Who is Satan?” The brunette sounded like she was trying not to take it as an insult without the knowledge of it.

“No one. Tell your boss I am not anyone special and you guys don’t need to waste time on following me around.” She finished off the water and touched her cheek the cut had closed some more almost to a decent size she didn’t need to hide. She stood up and put her gauntlets back on flexing the left to see if she needed to repair it from the cut. The assistant moved to retrieve the canteen. 

“Why isn’t your face bleeding more? That was a serious cut,” this from the second shadow. A dark skinned man, she thought he was their doctor but now she was sure. He moved to examine the wound.

“It wasn’t as serious as it looked.” She backed up when he reached out to hold her face in place.

“I watched you walk by, it was a gash.” His eyes widened as he stared.

“It wasn’t that bad!” She pushed past them and jogged back to the ring. She kept her head low so no one would see her face.

They had decided to disqualify her and she was released to finish the day at the vat house. _Thank God!_ She moved quickly to the tents and changed her clothes. Her tennis shoes had been lost when she accidently discovered the lye they used to make soap. The water on her shoes had been the catalyst. She had buried them in the forest a little ways performing a funeral for them and cried a little. It was sad. She finally saw the spy Leliana had assigned to watch her. His or her feet were slightly bigger than her own. She tried not to let on when she passed the tree they had jumped in to hide from her.

The vat house was busy and Miss Rasha, the head, had her start folding right away. There were three more elves helping to fold. The three women didn’t know her and attempted to make small talk. She was tired and weary of dealing with people. But she did try, it just came out short. She wound up apologizing and telling them to just let her work. She really missed Solas. He was easy to talk to, embarrassing moments aside. Thank God he never said anything about that one time. She didn’t think she could stay here if he did. She would have to run away and climb into one of the rifts to investigate the Fade. She bade the laundry ladies good night at the end of the day and apologized to her fellow folders again, a little more sincere. They accepted. She really needed to try and make other friends. 

As she walked back to the recruit tents she caught sight of Varric telling a story to some of the recruits. He waved her over but she just waved and walked on. She didn’t want to deal with the other recruits for a while. She made her way into her tent the other cots were empty. She didn’t feel like listening to music so she just changed into her bed clothes and fell into bed.

Her mind replayed the day. She didn’t want to be a soldier but she couldn’t do nothing. So she decided to talk to Miss Rasha. Hopefully she might be able to convince the Ambassador to move her ful time to the laundry house. She also decided to try and talk to the other elves without being frustrated and short. She then cleared her mind and fell asleep before the others could come back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried doing things differently. Is it better/worse? I also have a better idea of how to get were I am going with this story. All in put is welcome. Thanks for the Kudos and comments. Ya'll keep working hard on whatever it is you're doing:)


	13. Chapter 13

Two days had gone by. _This is bullshit._ Amber tried very hard to push herself up and was about two inches from the ground red faced in effort. The recruits around her were not helping with the teasing, not nice teasing. She took a deep breath and with one final push she reached the length of her arm and fell to the ground trying to breathe. Her arms felt like the muscles were pulling apart.

“You need to breathe while doing press ups Argent. You have got to be the dumbest elf I know. Why are you even here?!” The random voice was not funny.

“She’s with us ‘cause they don’t know what else to do with her. “ ToBooth interjected.

“Well she doesn’t need to be here. She is just a distraction!” Several second’s came up after that.

Amber just laid on the ground breathing. She hated this place. Talking with Miss Rasha had yielded nothing. Apparently the Spy Master would only let her move full time to the Vat house if she agreed to answer questions. _That’s not going to happen._ Not for the first time Amber regretted making this promise. It was irrational for her to keep it but she had to.

She pulled herself up off the ground. Everyone else was done. The officers only made her do one push up because she really couldn’t do more. She was a burden on everyone. She could see it every time the Commander looked her way. She pulled her helmet off catching her elven ear making her cringe. _That shit hurts!_ She lightly touched the tip and moved for the water tents. She mused, “Distraction, huh?”

The healers behind the tables were nice to her but they knew she was ‘trouble’ so talks weren't long. Amber sat on one of the benches and drank from the canteen. She eyed the groups sparing, then eyed those resting in the tent. The sun was glinting off the snow int her eyes. _Fuck this!_ She picked her helmet up and walked back towards the barracks. She was done, this was ridiculous. After changing into her Hoodie leather, leggings, and meticulously wrapped her foot wraps, she left the armor and weapon on the cot, collected her bag, and walked out. No one was looking for her yet. She made her way up to the gates of Haven. The guard eyed her but didn’t say anything. She turned and surveyed the area, really looked at it for the first time.

The ground was covered in snow. The frozen lake was not too far away; several groups of tents,including the healers, were between the lake and Haven. To her left she could see where the Chargers were camped and beyond that was the stables and then the blacksmith. They were large buildings. The stables had an upstairs living area, and she knew the blacksmiths and apprentices housed in the building across the road from the actual forge. To her right the Templars had a temporary camp next to the recruits. She had heard that if Harold and company succeeded in claiming the Templars for help, they would camp just this side of the tree line to the right of Haven.

She spit on the ground in goodbye and turned to the gates. They arched overhead and she sighed. _Everything’s just going to get harder._ Walking through the gates she finally took in the town, not just look at it. Most of the residential area was in between the gates and the Chantry. She knew Harold’s cabin was near the west wall somewhere. All of the services were on the east side of town. She looked into the sky above; the Breach glowed brightly in the noon light. She closed her eyes and could feel the humming. It was more pronounced at night, but still gave her a comforted feeling. It seemed to sing that even if it got worse everything would turn out alright. She reorganized her thoughts and decided to see if she could get some lunch in the tavern before heading to the vat house.

The Singing Maiden was definitely larger than it appeared. She thought of spatial distortion magic but didn’t care much to investigate that theory. She walked in and knocked her boots on the door frame. It was not busy and she easily walked through the tables to the bar. Flissa, the bar keep, turned and eyed her. “I remember you, the crier. What can I get you?”

Ignoring the sting of the description she said, “A bowl of stew, please.” 

“We don’t service the soldiers. You got to go to the mess tent for lunch.”

“I am not a soldier anymore, so please.” She was scrutinized a few moments.

“Thirty coppers.”

“Thanks!” Transaction made, Amber made her way to a table a ways away from the bar with her lukewarm stew and dug in. She devoured it and got a second helping. She ate the second one a bit slower. She dug in her bag and pulled out her player. She checked to make sure no one was watching and hid it beneath her hoodie, pulling the hood up over her ears. One bud in so she could listen if someone tried to speak with her. It fit nicely into the inside pocket of the big pouch in front. She had the movements and positions of the apps memorized so she didn’t have to look at the screen as the bloops lead her to her music. It was nice as Nero sang out, “How did you know ‘cause I never told…” She dug in and lost herself to the beat.

About half way through the bowl, someone sat across from her at the table. Pennywise began playing Fuck Authority. She stuffed a spoonful of carrot like vegetables into her mouth and chewed. She looked up and a blonde elf sat across from her. She had uneven hair and wore ungodly yellow plaid pants with a red top. Her eyes narrowed as Amber stared mid chew.

“You the one with the glowy eyes?”

“So I’m told.”

“Hmmm….wat’s your name?” She was watching Amber eat.

“Amber.”

“You don’t seem magey.”

“Anything I can do for ya?”

“Varric told me how they found you. Said you fell out of the rift like the Herald.“

“I wouldn’t know.” She looked down and took another bite disengaging from the conversation. She felt the grain of the wood with her tongue and cringed at the thought of a splinter.

“They said you ain’t no mage. You don’t act magey. You like the Herald?”

Amber sighs rest her spoon in her almost empty bowl and placed her fists on either side of it looking to the blonde’s eyes, “Probably not. What’s your point?”

“Point is, you fell out of the Fade, but you ain’t like the Herald. Droopy ears says you might be from the Fade. From the Fade means demon. They even say I could stab you and you wouldn’t die.”

“We don’t actually know that. And I don't want to find out. I don’t know anything about anything. I am just here.” She was becoming tired of the conversation. She picked up her spoon and resumed eating.

She heard a clunk and a glint caught her eye. Her face remained over her bowl and her eyes looked back to the blonde. A dagger was now being held on the table, she met eyes with the blonde.

“You stay away from me.”

“You came to talk to me…”

“Stay away.”

Amber sighed and scrapped the last few sips of broth from her now empty bowl. The elf’s eyes had not left her. She stood and walked to place the empty bowl on the bar. She turned back to the elf who was still staring at her knife in hand. She shook her head and walked for the exit. The door swung open and a familiar dwarf waltzed in with a few soldiers behind.

They were laughing. Amber stepped to the side to let the group though. Varric caught sight of her and stopped with a friendly smile. A dark thought crossed his mind and the smile faded into a softer sadder one. “You alright Daffy?”

“Meh.” She hadn’t known what to say really. The last time she had seen him this up close she was lying in his lap getting her snot all over his pants.

“Want a drink? I’ll pay?”

“Maybe some other time I have to get to the laundry house.” She didn’t meet his eyes. The group was in the building watching the small exchange. Amber tried a half smile and failed as she waved and rushed out the door. She didn’t notice him watch her until she turned the corner.

The laundry house was slightly larger than the regular cabins. It held two large vats over a stone table that had wood underneath to burn and heat the water. That area was open like the forge. The cleaners stood on a step ladder and stirred the clothes and linens with large poles that had been runed to keep them from dissolving if the soap maker used too much lye. The folding area was too the right of the entrance. A elven mage that had be too late to get into the Conclave offered her assistance after the explosion and had been assigned to dry the laundry. Two of the three stools that sat in front of the baskets next to the large piles of clean and dry linens were occupied. There was an open air soap room built in the rear next to the south outer defensive wall of Haven. It housed the lye and a large cauldron to make the soap.

She reported to Miss Rasha when she arrived. The elderly elven woman sighed at the sight of her back pack. Her tired brown eyes searched her questioningly. “I suppose you have decided to give me trouble. The Commander sent a messenger earlier; said you had left your armor on your bed like you had quit.” Amber watched the stray strands of her greying blond hair fluttered in the breeze as the hot air from inside moved out.

“I did quit. I am a distraction for the soldiers, therefore a hindrance to the Inquisition. I promised I wouldn’t be a hindrance so I will work here were I am helpful.” She looked to the over elven women working hard and sweating from the fire and steam.

“You can’t make these decisions on your own, young one. “ Amber met her eyes at that and the older woman had a sympathetic look in her eyes.

“Well they can lock me up then. I refuse to do that anymore, I want to be helpful if I can be and I won’t be there.”

“Alright get to work then,” she waved Amber to the empty chair behind a growing pile of clean and dry fabric. “I will speak with the Spy Master, again. “ She mumbled something about maybe making the guard they had on Amber help and turned to go and check in the soap room. Amber moved to her position and got to work. Her player was playing Vivaldi’s Concerto 1 in E Major at this point. She was able to slide into a steady rhythm of folding. After some curious glances at Amber, Margarete to her left introduced herself and Ashara next to her. Margarete had light brown hair and blue violet eyes, Ashara was blonde with large hazel eyes. Amber smiled and gave her name. 

“That is an interesting sweater.” Margarete complimented.

“It’s nothing special like twenty bucks at Wal-Mart three years ago.” She focused on her pile as another load of dry was dumped on top.

“Twenty bucks?” Ashara sounded confused.

“Uh…yeah I guess it’s slang for the money we have at home. Let’s say a dollar equals a Sovereign it would be twenty sovereigns.” She looked up at their silence. They were staring. “What?”

“That’s worth twenty Sovereigns and you are wearing it to do laundry?” She shrugged and they shook their heads and turned to their work. After a few moments they tried again. “We heard you are acquaintances with the apostate, Ser Solas?”

“Yeah he has helped me out a lot. He let me ride back on his horse and helped me with my wounds even after…” She blushed at the memories of his firm thigh and that ONE morning.

“Oh look at you blushing!” Margarete hadn’t missed it.

“It’s nothing.” She assured going more red.

“He is handsome isn’t he. Even with no hair.” They both looked at Ashara. “He is sooo tall. You would think he is elven-blooded but his ears are soooo nice and elven! I just want him to thread his long fingers through my hair, trace them up my ear, and kiss me with those firm lips.” She shook from the chill the thoughts gave her. “He is intelligent too! I overheard him speaking with Messer Adan about the efficiency of the lyrium potions they use. “ She was staring dreamily. Amber and Margarete looked at each other and stifled their laughs. “What?! You shut up Margie!” She turned and started to slap her friend with the tunic in her hand. “Just the day before they left you were staring at his rear like it was a sweet bread!”

Margarete laughed and threw a towel at her friend. Miss Rasha shouted for them not to throw the laundry. Amber went back to her own pile and thought of her friend. _At least I see him as a friend._ He was very tall, pleasantly so. His shoulders were broader than those of the few other males she had met in the recruits. She thought back to his healing her and THAT morning, blushed again at the memory of his long fingers brushing her skin. Her body stirred at the thought and she shivered. The others didn’t notice as they chatted about other available elves. She thought of their time in the Fade. She loved that he could bring her there; he was intelligent and taught her things. But she knew that right now she wasn’t in a position for him to see her as an equal.

Her brothers had told her a good long lasting relationship is based on mutual respect. It helped to have similar interests and beliefs. But as long as there was mutual respect, a Southern Baptist could marry a Muslim. Plus he didn’t know her past. To get away from those thoughts she quickly tuned into the music in her ear and began singing along with Elle King about her Exs and Ohs. Her companions asked her what song that was and she explained.

“It’s about a woman who can’t get rid of the guys she dates and breaks up with.” They looked a little confused. So she taught them the lyrics, sliding her hand in her pocket and putting the song on repeat so she could keep the words fresh. After they got the lyrics they all began to sing it. Amber was having enough fun that she eventually turned the player off and sang with the other elves. They petered off as a large load of laundry came in and they had to focus on making sure most of it was done.

“Where are California and the UK?” Ashara asked after a while of quiet work.

“My home country is divided into fifty states. That’s the name of one of them on the west coast. UK is short for United Kingdom. It’s the name of another country where I’m from.”

“Where are you from?” Margarete asked pulling the last tunic of her third pile out of her basket.

“I am from Texas, a state in The United States of America. “

“Where is that? I have never heard of any of those places.” Ashara had paused her folding to ask.

“I couldn’t tell you where my home is from here. I haven’t seen a map of this place. And as far as I am aware we have discovered most if not all of the inhabitable lands on Earth. Thedas is nowhere on it. Plus the stars are different here.” She sat in thought after she said it. _I am not even sure we are in my Universe._

“Planet?” Amber looked to Ashara at the confused question.

“What do you mean?”

“What's a planet?” Amber paused at that.

“You do know basic astronomy like planets, solar systems, and stars right?” The woman looked back at her with a what-is-that-and-why-would-I-know-about-it look. Amber turned back to her pile kind of astounded. She had to gather herself a bit.

“Well as far as I am aware we are on a plant, I don’t know what you would call it…” She then proceeded to explain basic astronomy to the two elves next to her. They were very curious about it. They scoffed at her description of distances between stars and planets. People dropping off the clean clothes would eye them curiously as the conversation helped them to while away the time.

At dusk Miss Rasha had all of the ladies stop working. The soap makers and cleaners began to doctor their hands and the rest, inducing Amber, where told to go and deliver the clean piles, bundled for easy travel, so they could all go sleep for the night. Amber grabbed her pack and the bundle assigned to her and made her way with the other elves.

As she exited the building she took a deep breath the smell of the town still bothered her. Especially the fact she had grown used to it. But the cold air was refreshing, the moons were not up yet and the Breach glowed over the town brightly. She watched as the others eyed the Breach with troubled expressions and shivered. She loved nights like this and smiled, a real smile, for the first time in a while. The six other ladies went off in pairs. Only Ashara and Margarete matched the friendliness in her good night, the others eyed her oddly. Amber had Flissa’s delivery and started off toward the tavern.

Last night’s snow had left a fresh layer over the drifts the green reflected off of it beautifully even with the muddy ruts on the main paths. The cold had set in and the mud had frozen over. She made her way north the short distance to the tavern. It was loud tonight, she thought back to the first time she was there and cringed inwardly opening the door and taking in the shouts and cheers from the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been longer than I had planned. Sick kid and family moving. I hope it turned out well. 1 or 2 more updates this weekend. I will probably post more on the weekends anyway. The heat is nasty here... Happy days all.


	14. Chapter 14

It was a full house again. Amber did a quick glance over the crowd she noted where the familiar faces and uniforms were. Finding a clear path she made her way to the bar without incident. 

“About time!” Flissa removed the bundle and put two silvers in her hand, “Make sure that gets to Rasha.” She had to shout over the din behind Amber. She nodded to the barkeep and turned to make her way to the door, but was stopped by the blonde, chest bearded dwarf. 

“Hi, Daffy!”

“Hi, Varric!” She tried to smile but didn’t make it. 

“Time for that drink!” He put a hand on the small of her back and ushered her through the crowd. As they went she caught the eye of a few familiar and unfriendly faces that had started to walk toward her but stopped when they caught sight of Varric. The looks they gave her promised reprisal for something she couldn’t fathom at this moment.

“I hear you are pretty unpopular Daffy!” He led her to an empty table in the quieter area of the tavern. She noticed the Chargers were in eye shot but far enough the din of their group was not too loud.

“That’s an understatement. I think Solas and the elves in the vat house are the only people who actually tolerate me.” He sat her in the chair closest to the wall and took the one across from her. She shrugged off her pack and put it between her legs. He held up two fingers at an elf passing who was holding a large tray of drinks. She nodded and dropped the mugs she had at the Chargers Table. 

“Awww, come on now! I like you Daffy!” He feigned a hurt expression.

“You don’t know me very well Varric.” Amber glanced the Chargers way and saw a few eyeing her while leaning into each other and talking low. She was thankful she didn’t recognize any of them.

“Well neither does anyone else really. From what I hear your pretty closed lipped.” The last statement was an attempt at levity. “You haven’t really had a chance to talk to anyone else. And besides I know you well enough for you to bawl into my lap.” He let a chuckle go at the last one. She had opened her mouth to respond but shut it and blushed looking to the table at his last statement.

“Look I am sorry about that last part. I …” She didn’t know how to explain it.

Varric waved her off, “It’s not a problem. You just drink with me and we’ll be even alright?” He smiled up at her and she felt better. She gave him a half smile and nodded. The constant gazes from the Chargers were starting to make her nervous. Her hand slipped into her pocket and she turned her music back on. Eric Johnson began Cliffs of Dover in her ear and she started to relax. She turned her focus back to the dwarf. He was watching her curiously. “So you fell from a rift and got thrown into the Inquisition cells, interrogated, and made to train like a soldier, what hasn’t happened in the past few weeks?”

“That’s a good question. I am not a fan of this place at all and am looking for the first ride outta this town. Only problem is I got no place to go.” She laughed and watched the mugs as they were placed in front of the two of them. She eyed it and sniffed at it. Shrugging she took a deep pull. _Go big or go home._ It tasted more of hops than she was used to but had a spiced after taste not heat spice, like a mix of pine and mint. _MMMM._

“Aw, this place isn’t that bad. It grows on you when you’re not on everyone’s bad side. Although with you leaving the recruits like you did I’d say Curly and the Nightingale aren’t likely to ignore you for a while.“ He laughed as he said it and took a drink from his mug.

“It made it around that fast? Who’s Curly? And the Nightingale wouldn’t like me anyway. I promised I wouldn’t be a hindrance to whatever they were doing and by making me do that soldier stuff I was being a hindrance, so no more soldiering for me.” She eyed the minstrel as she wound her way through the crowd stopping and playing for tables. She idly wondered how hard it was to learn the lute.

“The rumor mill here is like lightning; you’ve been here long enough you should already know that. Curly is the Commander. I know you’ve met him. And the Nightingale’s got a soft spot for people like you, you just have to give her what she wants first and you’re in. I think you might make a good scout. “He gave an amused look at the skepticism that etched her face.

“Not likely to ever happen.” She drank again. Varric laughed and waved at someone he had spotted near the door. 

“Wait here, I need to go take care of something.” He smiled and stood walking in the direction he waved. Amber drank from her mug as she looked around the room. She sighted a familiar bushy black beard leaning to talk in the waitress’ pointed ear. His wavering stance showed just how drunk he was. He was pushed away and stumbled back to the entertainment of his companions. He laughed and tried again a few times. She rebuffed him until he strode out of the tavern in an angry huff insulting her before he left. Amber got a chill and finished her mug. 

Varric returned shortly with another mug and set it before her she smiled and accepted with a nod his direction. “What was that about?” She asked with a slight slur and a nice hum in her head.

“Nothing much, just making sure Kumquat has her kumquats.” He smiled at that.

“She eats kumquats?” 

“Do dwarves mine lyrium? She had run out on our way back to Haven when we met you. She was not a happy camper. I have never heard of a Dalish elf obsessed with anything as much as she is with kumquats. When we met her she was surly and short with everyone. Snapped at Chuckles so much you’d think he was the cause for the elves plight.” He laughed at that. “She apologized after she woke up and found us all. Said she was just stressed. When we went to the Hinterlands the first time and camped out the first night. Chuckles woke me up because someone had broken the wards. We checked in on the Seeker and her and she was missing, her pack was gone. We panicked, woke the Seeker and began searching the area. Cassandra was convinced she had run off. Well we found her about a half hour later next to an old ruin filling her pack from a kumquat tree. When we got her attention she jumped down and came over to us. She looked panicked asked us what was wrong. We all kind of stared at her and she stared at us, in the moon light you could see something all over the bottom half of her face. I pointed it out and her eyes got really wide. She turned and wiped of her face and turned back. She acted like nothing had happened. We made our way back to camp after that and Cassandra explained the importance of letting us know what she was doing and not doing it alone.” He laughed and shook his head at the memory. “Chuckles was furious, but she apologized and offered one of her spoils in return. After that she was like a different person. All happy and helpful she and Chuckles started getting along a whole lot better. It was one of the oddest things I can remember. And I have seen a lot.” He took a long drink and smiled fondly at the memory. Two humans came up to their table.

“Hi Varric,” she was obviously drunk as she leaned into him. “You want company tonight?”

“No thanks Amelia, I’m having a drink with a friend,” he motioned towards Amber, “and then I will probably turn in.” He was friendly with the rebuff.

“That’s too bad.” She gave Amber a reproving look and the two friends stumbled off towards the Chargers’ tables giggling and supporting each other.

“You seem popular. Every time I see you are always talking to someone.”

“Not really. I am just good at stories and everyone likes a good story. Like your story! That has to be interesting!” He smiled at her.

“Not really. I am a loser who has done more in the past few weeks than the last five years combined. And before that is nothing to brag about either.“ She drank again her buzz already making its way to drunk.

“Then tell me how you fell out of that rift.” He was fishing but Amber didn’t mind.

“I was with my best friend at the top of the Empire State Building and he was about to purpose then some guys rushed us and off the building I go” She used her fingers to act out the scene as she spoke. A whistle and splat followed the end.

“Your guy was going to purpose?!” He looked as surprised as he sounded.

“Not “my guy” he was my friend. I probably would have accepted anyway, not like I had anything else going for me…” She looked forlornly into her mug and swallowed the last of its contents. 

“You don’t sound like you really liked him all that much.” It was more of a question. 

“He was my friend, the only one to accept me and my mistakes.” She looked up into the dwarf’s eyes with sorrow. “I was a bad person for a long time Varric. I don’t deserve things like love or even happiness for that matter. I would have jumped at the chance to make anyone else happy if that’s what they wanted.” She barked a harsh laugh. “It probably made lots of people happy when I disappeared.”

“Don’t say that, you can’t be all bad. Those girls in the laundry seem to like you enough. Rasha says you’re a hard worker and you don’t get side tracked too much.” He offered with optimism. He waved the waitress down and ordered another mug.

“The soldiers hate me.” She picked at her sleeve

“Well you weren’t really trying were you?” She shook her head at that. “Besides those guys don’t get along with elves anyway, they’re not around them as much as other members of the Inquisition because elves are usually better suited for rouge work. Even the Dalish warriors I have seen are more rouge-ish than not.” He looked her in the eyes. “Listen, give it a few days, keep working hard at the laundry house. Kumquat should be sending word any day now about the Templars. We’ll get the Breach closed and we can reevaluate everything.” He smiled at her reassuringly. Her empty mug refilled and she happily began nursing it.

“I will work hard. But there is no’ much to re’valuate... I hope they come back soon. Solas said he is going to investigate my circumstances when he can.” She perked up at the reminder, “Plus he lets me walk in the Fade with him. That’s fun!“ Another deep drink, her mind was going a little foggy and giddy at once.

“You walk the Fade with Chuckles?!” He sounded surprised.

“Yeah it’s soooo pretty there! It’s like space but green instead of black. And you can breathe and make stuff appear like magic!” He watched as she grew excited at the thought. She took another big swig. “The raw Fade is the BEST. It smells great there! The rocks form pathways to the other islands and you can imagine things and they’re just there. It’s just like magic!” She put the tips of her fingers to her temples and spread them mimicking an explosion making a powkkk sound with it. “Mind blown!”

He was definitely amused. “You said ‘it’s like magic’ twice. You do realize magic comes from the Fade right?” 

“Yeah I know!” He laughed as she smiled and drank deep again. Amber noticed a few people slid in next to them. ForeFather blared Steadfast in her ear as she scooted a bit away from them.

“Hey Varric!”

“Krem! Stitches! Have you guys met Daffy?” Amber sobered just a tad at the mention of their names. She put her mug down and turned to them trying for a wobbly polite look. Charger #2 was next to her staring and Stitches across from him eyeing her face.

“Hi I am Cremisius Aclassi, Second to the Iron Bull. You can call me Krem. This is Stitches.” He nodded to his companion. Amber looked back and forth between them and settled her gaze on her mug becoming very aware of just how much of a light weight she was. 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Her voice was quiet, she had no control over her nerves, and she distinctly enunciated every syllable, she nodded to her mug.

“Come on Daffy! They aren’t that scary. Guys this is Amber. You train with the soldiers sometimes so I am sure you have heard of her. And I am sure you remember her first night in Haven.” He laughed at that trying to lighten the mood, the others chuckled as well.

She could feel Stitches eyes combing her face. “You ok from the other day? That cut was deep.” She could feel her cheeks redden. The tips of her ears felt hot.

“You got cut Daffy?” Concerned the dwarf stopped mid drink.

“It wasn’ anything s’rious. “ She reassured him and showed him her cheek. “See all gone.” She didn’t notice the look exchanged between the Chargers but Varric had.

“See guys she’s just fine.” He smiled and winked but she felt like there was something behind it.

“I hear you quit today.” Krem more stated than asked.

“I became a trouble to the assholessss so I stopped. I’m better at the laundry anyway.” She shrugged clumsily and could feel the cloud of drunkenness begin to sit heavy on her mind.

“I think you were doing alright. You finished that fight right quick when you got serious.” Krem was still watching her. She still hadn’t looked up but could feel the blush rising up her neck she hid it with another drink from her mug.

“I wasn’t s’rious I jus’ learned to fight dirty s’all.” 

“It’s tricks like that that keep you alive in battle, Daffy. Tournaments not so much, but in a real fight you fight to live.” She looked to Varric at that. She felt a little relieved to hear him say that. 

“I am not a fighter. I jus’ watch the fightsss and direct them. Tell the fighters what to do when they win or losssse. Enforcssser-in-training not a fighter.” She finished her drink and put her mug down upside down. She avoided looking at their eyes; she knew she said a bit too much. “Well I think Ima go fin’ me a nice spot to sleep.” She stood and wobbled the boys stood with her and had to close her eyes. The world spun a bit. Krem held his hands out as if to catcher her. She held a wavy hand out to stop him. “I good; had to walk home like this a lot after my brothers were busy.” She smiled at Varric and nodded to the other two. 

“Come on Daffy I think you’ve had too much. Sit down a bit longer and tell me what kept your brothers so busy you walked home alone and drunk, and what an Enforcer is.”

“No Ima good.” She smiled, it felt wrong, at him and carefully got her legs out of the bench. 

“I don’t think you’re ok, let me get you to where your sleeping.” Krem offered and moved to put her arm over her shoulders.

“Ah, ah, ah.” She made and exaggerated motion with her hand and stumbled back from him. “My brotherssss tol’ me I either make home alone or fall ‘sleep in the bar.”

“Your brothers aren’t here Daffy. We can get you to the Chantry or back to the recruit tents.”

“No they’re not here. They’re at home angry a’ me for leavin’.” She had stopped moving and slumped her shoulders while still standing. She pulled herself up with a deep breath, “Lassss’ time I ssspoke to them they tol’ me they were gonna fin’ me an’ bring me home. That was ‘fore Brian took me to New York.” She scrunched her face up in thought. “I still don’ know how he go my address…” She shrugged and brayed a laugh “Doesn’ matter anyway….. Ah, my pack!” She stumbled forward and leaned on the bench to reach under and pull the pack from the floor.

“Be careful!” Krem put a hand on her shoulder when she came back up and stumbled backwards again. “Let me carry that” He reached for her bag.

“Wai-“ Her reaction was too slow and he grabbed the strap. A jolt went through them both and they fell to the ground. Her bag dropped with them

“What was that!? A ward?!” Stitches rushed to Krem’s side to check on him.

Amber took a little bit to recover but had gained her head again and was less drunk than before. “Solas gave it to me to keep my stuff in.” Varric was helping her to her feet. She noticed the audience they were acquiring.

“You alright, Amber?” Krem asked as he stood with Stitches help.

“Yeah.” She shook her arms out and slapped her face. “I really gotta go find a place to sleep. Thanks for the drinks Varric.” Her slur and wobble momentarily gone with the sobering effects of the jolt she turned to Krem and Stitches. “I hope you’re not hurt too bad.”

“Buy me a drink and we’ll call it even.” Krem offered good naturedly.

“Ha! I don’t see why I owe you, but I may.” She checked and most of the familiar faces were not around. “Know the quickest way out of this building?” She asked Varric.

“Yeah there is a door just over there.” He pointed behind her and she turned to check it out. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“If I tell you that, people that don’t like me might hear. Don’t worry I’ll sleep somewhere safe.” She smiled a tired smile. The temporary shock was wearing off she needed to get to where she could safely sleep before she was too drunk again. 

They started to protest but she grabbed her bag and started for the door. She was out and around the corner that led to the residential areas before anyone had followed her. She moved silently when she wanted to these days and she wanted to tonight. 

As she moved through the green dimly lit streets she could feel the hum all over her body. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She did it twice. She felt her senses comeback to her in the pleasant feel of the Breach. She made her way to the latrines inside the gates. After relieving herself, she felt better. She looked around the area. They were constructing a catapult in this area. She remembered a high school physics class that had done experiments with home built catapults. _Too bad I didn’t go._ She wondered if she would ever be able to see it in use and moved along. 

Her steps had become more sure as she moved through the residential area again. The feeling under the Breach made her want to explore. As she walked into the green night The Beach Boys goaded her on with their Good Vibrations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to put this one up quick hope it's not too bad.


	15. Chapter 15

The streets of Haven were dirty. Not in a plastic cups on the ground kind of way, but there were piles of dirt and mud and leaves everywhere. She had thought the smell would come from piles of waste in the streets thrown out of windows like in the movies; but the people of Haven kept things relatively clean in that aspect. They kept food wastes in buckets outside to be thrown into a pit on the outside of town. She didn’t know where but she had seen women caring poles with several full buckets out towards the lake area. The smell was there but apparently much less than it would be without the collective efforts to reduce the waste in the town limits. She didn’t know where the smell came from but she still did not like it. It seemed to be a side effect of existence. 

As she moved about the streets in her buzzed state of mind the night moved on. There was not much to see and she grew bored quickly. So she decided to find somewhere to sleep. She traveled back towards the area of the tavern. It wasn’t as loud as when she left but it was still lively. A couple leaving the entrance embracing each other with obvious intent stumbled off into the night. 

She kneeled and hugged her knees as she watched from the shadows of a house. She felt a twinge in her chest and sat there for a while watching as the patrons left. She had not had a real conversation in a long time. Varric had been looking for information. And she had given a lot away. She didn’t mind so much, she had been stupid enough to drink with strangers anyway. 

It had felt good to do something she hadn’t done in roughly five to six years. Her heart hurt for her old life. Not the lonely solitude she had punished herself with, but the one before when she had her brothers and a family; the one where people didn’t sneer at her because most of them agreed with what was going on around them. It had been a lot better in most aspects. She was a much happier person. And sometimes in the middle of the night when she laid in bed in a new home in a new life she would cry because she missed it all, and that made her hate herself even more, because even if it had been hell for some, it had been closest to heaven for her.

Those people who had looked down on her for the last half decade: the coworkers who constantly picked on and berated her, the strangers who would threaten her. It was so different from the love she had received from her brothers, their friends, and those who followed them. The people on TV spoke of acceptance and equality for all. But they had only meant for people who were not like her. Those people treated her the same way her brothers, their people, even she had treated others. “In the end everyone, everywhere is the same.” It came out softly as she stood and turned down a darker street with taller buildings. 

She turned off her music and listened to the sounds of the night. The Breach’s gentle hum was a background for the wind and far off rustling of the forest around them. She closed her eyes and listened. She took in the sounds of the small town. The wood settling of the houses, the small wooden wind chimes, it was all pleasant and expected, all except the crying.

She heard the soft sobbing from ahead. She was always amazed at her new senses. She never really noticed the difference until she actually took the time to pay attention to them. In this instance she was astounded that she knew the crier was just two houses in front of her. She could tell it was a young woman. Its pitch and tone were familiar, even if she had never heard it crying. Under the quiet sobbing she could hear clothes rustling, metal clasps tinkling, and a different person’s heavy breathing. She froze. She knew exactly what was happening. She had heard and seen it happen before. 

For a moment she almost turned around and walked away. She had before, more than once… but she closed her eyes and remembered why she had left that life.

Amber moved quietly forward stashing her pack behind a few barrels and a wood stack in the shadow of the house next to her. Then quickly and silently grabbed the bucket set out the door for the night. She reached the gap in between houses that produced the sounds. The girl kept the muffled crying quiet. An act that gave off the distinct sense she knew how she was expected to behave in this situation. Amber took in the scene as quickly as possible. A body stood in between the exit and the dead end at the back. The lighter clothes of the crier were stark against the pile she was sprawled upon. Amber made a quick decision and began to move.

She almost tripped on the body just inside the gap but caught it just in time and stepped over it. Stepping forward silently, she swung arms back and cracked the standing person on the back of the head. Refuse dumped out over the figure. They staggered a bit but didn’t go down. She swung back again but was surprised when the person she had struck was suddenly facing her. Bushface was standing there with an angry look on his face his right hand outstretched towards Amber’s middle. The woman sprawled on a large pile of something behind him let out a gasp. Amber froze when a sharp pain in her left side radiated out from one point as he shifted on his feet. She felt the blade turn inside of her and cried out. His face twisted into a drunken smile as he leaned into her.

“Thought you was smart didn’t you little rabbit.” He whispered it in Amber’s ear almost sympathetically. “But you’re not.” She was aware of his other hand doing something but was too shocked to move. “Might as well be rid of you.” She felt no pain, but a tingle came over her as she felt the blade go through her wind pipe and esophagus. A muffled strangled sound came from her. Time was frozen for another moment she tried to breathe in but her lungs wouldn’t fill. He pushed her back and she tripped over the second body as he turned back to his earlier activity. She was angled enough that she caught eyes with the woman as he turned, it was Ashara. Her face was dirty, her hair disheveled, and she was covered in almost visible fear. Amber watched as her eyes went back to the man who had focused all attention on her.

Something bubbled inside Amber and the world around her went silent. She felt tendrils of anger reach up from the pool deep inside of her and wrap around her brain. She felt every muscle in her face react to her rage and move into a hideous smile, one she had once hoped to never feel again. She pushed off of the body below her and stood up; watched as her right hand reached around to the throwing knife in her left side. _Right in the kidney._ A dark humor rose with her thoughts and she snickered quietly under her breath. She pulled it out and could feel her flesh cling and suck on the blade as it moved out. A gasp made her look up. The scene was now lit in the beautiful glow of the Breach. She tilted her head and observed with the curiosity the scene before her.

The man had paused in what he was doing. Ashara leaning to his left, hand held up in defense of herself, was staring wide eyed at Amber in fear. Amber stepped forward grabbed the man by the right shoulder, and spun him around. She felt another sharp pain bloom in her right side. His grin had faded when he had caught her eyes. 

She could see his bushy face fill with terror as he stared. He breathed in to scream, or curse, or plead, but Amber covered his mouth with her left hand and shoved the blade in through the left side of his throat, the serrated edge catching momentarily on the tense muscle of his neck and over his esophagus, effectively cutting off his lungs, like he had done to her. She leaned in to his ear and locked eyes with Ashara. She whispered something but only the sound of lips and tongue moving reached his ears. A light chuckle left her as she pushed him lightly off her blade. He staggered back and fell on the woman behind him. Her eyes had not left Ashara’s as her hazel gaze widened when he landed on her. 

Amber stood there as the girl sat frozen in fear on what she could now tell was a pile of split wood. A moan came up from behind her and the tendrils inside receded. She staggered a bit breaking eye contact and righted herself. She tried to breath in but couldn’t. She looked back, the green light of the Breach now shadowed again the body she had fallen over had gone still. She turned back to Ashara and moved to pull the dead man off of her. The woman tried to back away, even with his heavy weight on her, letting out a quiet cry of fear as Amber approached.

The body was moved with difficulty. A cry of surprised horror came out of the girl’s mouth and Amber looked up at her. She was staring at her stomach where a deep red stain was blossoming around the end of a throwing knife. The dead had somehow stabbed her when he fell. Amber reached to still her not missing the cringe from Ashara at her approach. “Don’t move!” She tried to say but nothing came out, it felt as if the air was trapped in her lungs, like she was holding her breath.  
She decided to try and pull it out. The blade shifted in her throat as she tested it. The muscles around it moved causing more damage; she could feel the tension release as they were severed. Cringing at the mental image she gave up and shifted her focus to the woman who was trying to get away from her. 

Holding up her hands in an I-won’t-hurt-you manner she tried to move close, but the woman began to sob and mumble things incoherently as she stared between Amber and her wound. Amber tried a few more times to help her, but Ashara kept sobbing and trying to climb the wood pile away from her. She stopped and tried to figure out how to help her new acquaintance without her injuring herself more than she already had. 

The alley was dark but the two of them could see decently enough. She took in the two bodies one dead, one unconscious. Amber stood with injuries of her own she had to get help. It would not be wise to show up anywhere with a knife in her throat. She reached up and clasped the knife stuck in her throat another pull. She winced when the barbs caught and tore more. A second attempt only alerted her to how close the blade was to her spine and she stopped. She could feel desperation begin to build. Ashara’s sobbing had died a bit, _Probably blood lose._ She looked back and gave the quiet scene a forlorn look then turned back to the street. She bent down and felt for breathing, the wounded woman, now behind her made a strangled noise as she bent. A quick glance back showed Ashara feared for Margarete who’s feature were clearer now that she could pay attention.

A quick hand over her nose and mouth confirmed she was still breathing. She tried to tell Ashara to stay there and not to move but the same uncomfortable blockage was there to keep air away from her vocal cords. _They’re probably shredded anyway._ She gave the frightened woman one last sad look and began to move back toward the tavern.

The building was still lit up. And still lively even in the late hours of the evening. She had come around to the main street entrance when she left the row of houses. Two patrons stumbled out of the building loudly singing and holding on to one another. They shouted at her when she brushed passed them, but she ignored them. Instead she rushed into the building searching for a clear path to where she had left the dwarf. 

People casually glanced as she began moving through the crowds and did a double take at her appearance. She moved through the tavern hearing “Maker’s Breath,” from more than one group in unison. She was thankful when the patrons began to part for her. She didn’t notice the looks on their faces. She didn’t notice some draw their weapons. She only watched for the table she needed. It came into view rather quickly after a large number of people were alerted to her presence. She saw the dwarf first, he and the Chargers she had left in his company were still sitting at the table chatting. She rushed up to the table and touched Varric’s shoulder.

The dwarf turned and caught her eyes first but quickly landed on the knife in her throat. “Fuck!” was all he said in response jumping out of his seat. She felt the blush when his eyes went wide. He pushed the chair he had been sitting in back into the man blonde behind him. Krem was next to an empty chair, and a few other Chargers were already standing with their weapons drawn when she looked at them. She looked back to Varric who was standing there mouth gaping speechless.

“I need your help.” She put more force into squeezing her lugs and felt a moisture build up on her neck around the blade, but no sound came out. They all flinched as she didn’t speak and she flushed again. Her hand went out to Varric and he backed away again. She motioned for him to come with her. Pleading with her eyes she stepped forward and every one tensed. She looked around them; everyone in the room she could see had a weapon drawn. She started turning, her eyes moved from person to person until they landed on Stitches who had elbowed his way through the now silent crowd as he was bringing refills back to their table. He looked at her and dropped the four mugs he was carrying, one broke as it hit the floor and ale spilled everywhere. He was a soldier, a medic but she could see fear cover his face as he stared.

“I have no time for this!” she mouthed to him, frustrated, and rushed forward grabbing his arm. But she was stopped when she felt something strike her back. His eyes began to bug out of his head as they stared down at her chest. She looked down and discovered the head of an arrow was sticking out just below her sternum. She didn’t look back up just clamped her hand on the motionless man in front of her and turned to pull him through the back door. She came up short. The Chargers were blocking her path.

“Let him go.” Krem’s voice was low and dangerous. She opened her mouth to respond but felt a sharp pain in her back and turned to find Stitches closer and breathing hard. She released his arm. He backed up getting in an attack stance. She staggered and regained her feet. She surveyed the room for anyone that might help. 

Everyone was armed. The Chargers and soldiers were surrounding her. Varric was standing there looking conflicted. She spotted Sera in a corner above everyone else most likely standing on a table arrow at the ready. A few other archers had taken her idea and stood around Amber at intervals. She couldn’t communicate with any of them and they were waiting… for something. 

She decided to abandon this idea and made to move for the back door, another arrow went through her right lung and she stumbled back. She grunted and felt her frustration rise, the bubble was building again. She didn’t understand what was going on. They were all silent. She reached up to try the knife again and stumbled forward and to the side as two more arrows hit her. One in her right arm, and one in her left leg. She fell to her knees. Tears began to fall and she looked back to Varric. 

Something in him changed at the moment their eyes met, “Everyone calm down! This is Amber! There are rumors about her all over Haven! This is why.” He moved forward men and women moved to fill his empty space. He walked up to her cautiously. His face was troubled and cautious as he approached her. The loud sniffle she let out was deafening. “What happened?” He said it loud enough for the front of the crowd to hear.

“She needs help!” She mouthed the words as intelligibly as she could, praying he understood.

“Who needs help?” She closed her eyes in thankful relief and pulled herself together.

“Elf down street! She has been stabbed!” 

“Elf down the street hurt?” She nodded vigorously tears still falling.

“Krem can you guys go find her?” His eyes didn’t leave Amber’s. At his question she began to stand. Shifting armor sounded in unison at her movement. She ignored it and motioned to herself and then mimicked walking and then pointed to the Chargers. “You want to take them?” She nodded.

“I don’t think so.” Lt. Cobb moved his way up through the crowd, he wore leather riding pants and a plain cream tunic. His eyes widened when he saw the state of her. His composed himself quickly and went on, “The Commander is on his way. I will send someone to find the girl.” She felt her frustration turn to anger in her belly as she watched him step forward sword drawn. She met his stern eyes and could feel the hostility burning through her.

“Now Lieutenant, she is trying to help. We all need to calm down. She isn’t-“

“I know the story Ser Dwarf. I also know that she doesn’t bleed like a human or elf or whatever. She is most likely a powerful abomination.” He placed the tip of his blade to her chest above the left breast. His cobalt eyes hard under his peppered hair.

“There is no need to be like this! She hasn’t done anything to anybody!”

“She attacked the Herald!” The man spat. The tension grew at that. She could feel the touch of anger as it snaked to her brain again. A sharp gasp drew her eyes to a soldier just in front of her. Rage began to encompass her brain again as she felt the man’s sword begin to push into her.

“You people are too close-“ His rant cut off before it began. He had gasped and his sword had pushed through her clothes before she could turn to look at him. She fell again as the sword was pulled out. She didn’t like that sensation and met his eyes with a sneer on her face. He was shocked at her reaction, as if the other weapons in her were all fake and his was sure to kill her.

“WHAT IN THE MAKER”S NAME IS GOING ON?!” Amber recognized the Commander’s voice. Her movements to turn and observe the man shifted every weapon inside her. “Out of the way!” She could see in the corner of her eye as the crowd parted for him. She noticed two shadows behind him. And three sets of feet stop suddenly in progression when they reached the clear area..

“Wha-What happened?” His voice was hesitant.

“Commander…” The Lieutenant was still staring.

“Cullen. We need to get these out of her. Kumquat and Cassandra informed you of this stuff didn’t they?” Varric sounded concerned in his attempt to end the situation.

“I hardly believed what they said. I thought perhaps they were mistaken. She truly is a demon…” The last statement trailed off. Amber made a strangled noise and heads snapped back to her. She had snorted. 

Footsteps moved towards her back. And the Lieutenant back down. Amber watched as the Nightingale came into her peripheral and shivered. She hated the woman. She tried to shift but found a dagger just under her eye, close enough to feel the warmth of the woman’s hand on her cheek. She hadn’t seen the woman move. Varric had jumped at her sudden change in position.

“What are you?” The question wasn’t said in anger or fear. It was calm and clear, no sign to mark it the demand it was. Amber opened her mouth but the anger griped her throat and she closed it again. Instead she spit in the woman’s face. No one had expected it.

The Nightingale stared wide eyed and pulled her hand back to strike. Varric put his hand beween them. “Enough Amber!” The Spy Master looked at Varric who just looked tired. “If all this,” He motioned to Amber’s whole body, “couldn’t kill her we are wasting our time.”

“Put her back in the dungeon.” The Commander spoke up. Amber looked to her left when a shadow moved into her peripheral again. It was the Ambassador. Her hands were to her face covering her mouth. She could not believe what she was seeing.

“That hasn’t worked Commander. She is in a strange place, with strange people who have been, on a whole, hostile to her.” She shot Varric a look of protest. “Everyone but Chuckles. She has no reason to give us any information regardless of her reasons. The Chargers and I had drinks with her earlier she told us a little about herself.” the red headed bitch shot him a glance then put her eyes back on Amber. “I don’t know a lot but I do know she is most likely not a threat, or at least wasn’t one. When Kumquat gets back we can go into depth about what to do about her. Chuckles may have something new to tell us about who and what she is as well.” His reasoning was sound.

“She is a liability we cannot afford!” 

“What do you suggest Curly?! We lock her up again? Interrogate her again? That did so well the first time. I got more out of her in three hours than you have in two weeks!”

“Then you plan on taking responsibility for her? She has been nothing but a burden on the Inquisition!” Amber snapped her head to him and attempted to snarl, “I told you!” But the object in her neck cut more flesh. She felt the moisture on her neck bubble and pop around where she thought her voice box would be and shivered.

“The laundry house has said good things about her Commander. Lady Nightingale, the tail you have on her, have they reported anything other than that she can be a bit of a bitch?” She didn’t respond. “I will take responsibility for her. She can stay in my cabin with me. “ He looked resolute and she felt ashamed that someone had to baby sit her, especially someone as nice as Varric.

The room was quiet enough that the door opening on the other side of the tavern reached them with no problem. They all watched as the crowd parted for the scout. He walked up to Leliana and whispered something in her ear. Her face turned from hard to regretful as her eyes shot to Amber. She felt something knot up inside her chest. She thought she knew what the man had told her. 

“Is she ok?” She just mouthed the words as clearly as possible. The Nightingale didn’t respond. Amber closed her eyes as she felt her frustration double and the tentacle like strands of anger force their way up into her mind. They wrapped securely around her brain muffling her coherency again. She shifted her weight and felt herself rise fluidly. Everyone’s eyes fell upon her. 

“Daffy, calm down. We need to get you taken care of. We can worry about the elf then.” Varric had placed his hand on her arm. She turned her head and opened her eyes. His eyebrows shot up and he backed up a few paces out of shock. Those behind him tensed and cursed. “Shit, Amber you’re creeping everyone out. You n-“

“Hey DEMON!” Amber’s Head whirled around and everything went black. She didn’t feel or see anything but she was conscious, and could hear. _The hearing’s the last to go._

“Sera!” The room began to move gasps and curses sounded. Commander Cullen ordered everyone out. The tables and chairs were scrapping over the floor, otherwise it was quiet. After a few moments, “Stitches can you take a look at her?”

“I don’t think I need to dwarf. She isn’t moving after that.”

“I know but just take a look, will ya? We don’t know how far her ‘not dying’ thing goes we need to be sure.”

“Do it.” This came from the Nightingale, who was too close for Amber’s comfort. Her mind was reeling with what had just happened. They thought she was dead. She should be dead. She heard boots walk closer to her and she heard the fabric move as he knelt down beside her. She listened to the other people moving in the back ground as she waited for the man to work.

He moved around presumably examining her. “Th-This is not possible…” He paused, some others moved closer.

“Her chest is moving.” Krem said it quietly enough to disguise his emotion.

“Her heart is beating! There is a fucking arrow in her heart and it’s still beating like normal. Her lungs are working like nothing is wrong with them and there are at least two holes in one of them.” Stitches voice moved farther from her ears.

“Why idn’t she bleedin’? Thing’s bleed ‘cept for demons. If it’s a blighted demon we should get rid of it, shove it back in one of them rifts and close it if we have to.” Sera was closer than before, not much, fear lined her steady voice.

“Chuckles says she is not a demon. She isn’t even a mage!”

“Well, droopy ears was wrong, or lied! That thing’s not normal! You should have stuck a sword in it and burned it. You need to burn it!” Sera was becoming angrier with every word she spoke. A short silence went on and Amber heard some light feet stomp away.

“Daffy, if you can hear me I will do my best to help you. Just don’t kill me in my sleep.” He had mumbled the last part. She couldn’t laugh even if she had wanted to. Panic should be setting in but she was just numb. How long would this last, this emotional numbness? Acceptance? Whatever it was it couldn’t last. She missed Solas. This whole situation was crazy and her mind raced as it fired off signals to her body that did nothing. 

“Should I just start pulling this stuff out?” Stitches asked he sounded wary and fascinated.

"I don’t know! You’re the healer!” The dwarf shouted.

“It would be best to take her somewhere more private. “ This was a heavily accented voice Amber didn’t recognize.

“Josie my command tent is the closest. We will take her there.” _God! Anywhere but The Nest!_

“Let’s just take her to my cabin. She’ll be sleeping there anyway.”

“That sounds easiest for everyone.” The Ambassador concurred.

Amber heard them move around her but could not feel any movement. Her hearing the only sense she had. She heard the hum of the Breach as they moved her outside. There was still a large crowd of people hanging around the tavern. Amber kept her mind as blank as possible. She didn’t know when everything was going to crash in on her emotionally and didn’t want it to while she was helpless. Sure she had cried a few times but she still hadn’t taken any real time to think about her situation and the ramifications of it all. She avoided thinking about it as much as possible. And she would do so as long as she could.

The pleasant comforting hum went away when they entered Varric’s cabin. _I hope there’s a window._

“Go ahead and lay her in the bed. I won’t be sleeping tonight anyway. I doubt anyone will be…” He sounded tired and Amber felt another wave of guilt. It was an oddly calm emotion without her body’s physical reactions. So she ignored everything but the hum that came from a window somewhere and tried to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am about as happy with this chapter as I can be without a beta reader. If your interested let me know.
> 
> 08/09/2016 edited for continuity.


	16. Chapter 16

Hours later she still lay on Varric’s bed conscious. Her emotions were erratic and unstable shifting from burning rage to deep sadness in mere seconds. She still didn’t know about the girls. Everyone had been distracted by her own situation. She wanted to throw things, to hit things, but her body never responded, which was a good thing. Later she would ponder what she would have done if she had been able to move.

Stitches had been replaced with Inquisition healers. The two of them had seemed wary at first but as soon as Varric assured them she could not hurt them they became curious. After a while one marveled about how little blood her injuries produced.  


“Look at how the blood bubbles around the knife in its throat. Its lungs are still pulling in air around the knife. See here…along the bottom of the knife. It comes out in bubbles.” His voice was high pitched and grating on her ears and nerves. Her patience non existent her mind didn’t even form coherent thoughts as the tidal waves of anger rolled over her. “I would prefer to document this before removing anything. I have a journal in our cabin. I will go and get it, observe as much as possible.”  


“You guys are supposed to help her.” Varric responded.  


“Master Tethras,” this woman had a coarse, grating voice. “We will attend to the wounds on this creature; but as we have never encountered something like this before we need to document everything. Now Chester, return as soon as possible… And retrieve Halmmstead as well. He will be interested in this.”  


“Halmmstead, the mage?”  


“Yes, hurry. Master Tethras be assured we will take care of it.” Snobby was obviously not a fan of the writers.  


“Her. I don’t see why you can’t start pulling that crap out of her. She needs help, she does not need to be studied.” He sounded angry. The door opened and shut as he spoke.  


“I understand your point of view Serah. But you must understand this creat-“  


“She is a person not a creature!” Amber wished she could feel the relief she knew she would at his words. But her anger at the people of the Inquisition raged. They were suspicious and unreasonable. She had stood up for her beliefs and they had responded with torture. She tried to cooperate and the soldiers responded with ostracism; whether because she was an elf or because she was who she was they had hated her. She attempted to fix the problem and found two of the few people who had given her a chance in a back alley about to be raped and possibly already dead. If she could move or respond in any physical way she would be crying with anger.  


“You must understand we have never encountered anything similar to this before. It-SHE is not dying and is unconscious; waiting a bit longer will not hurt.”  


“Are you crazy? Just help her. You can’t just-“  


“Master Tethras **I** am the one Serah Adan has placed in charge of the healers in matters that do not require a potion or poultice. It is imperative we take advantage of this opportunity to study her. What information we could gather might be used to help others.”  


There was a short pause before Varric responded. “You people need to pull your heads out of your asses. I am speaking with the Ambassador.” His feet moved to the door and it opened and shut. Amber heard the woman complain about dwarves on high horses. The woman was silent until the man, Chester, returned with three other people.  


She had listened to their surprised reactions. They moved closer when the healer beckoned them. The potion maker had accompanied them. He only grunted as they observed her injuries. The others stayed silent. Master Adan excused himself after mumbling something about weird elves plaguing the world.  


The others seemed to relax and begin to express their fascination. They stood there discussing her state and speculating on what kind of demon she was. _Because, of course, since they don’t understand I absolutely **must** be a demon._ Her state of mind whipped from angered indignation to hate for the callous way they treated her seemingly unconscious self. The room went silent except for the rustling of paper or parchment and the scratching of pencils or charcoals or whatever they were using to draw. She was left seething and unable to do anything.  


They had positioned themselves close to her and she could hear as they would periodically step closer to examine something. Instinctively she willed herself to lash out at them when they seemed to be adjusting her position, but this was fruitless and only added to her frustration. Her hatred for them increased when she realized they had obviously removed her clothing and she was lying there buck ass naked.  


“Look at those extensive tattoos! Could this be are rare breed of Dalish? One from east of Tevinter perhaps? Maybe Antiva or Rivain? Or perhaps from far north of the Anderfels?” The man’s voice was raspy. A disgusted grunt sounded. “No offense Soro.” She didn’t hear a reply.  


After what seemed like hours, Snobby asked, “Do we have all of the injuries documented?” The others replied in the affirmative. She listened as papers rustled and chairs scraped against the floor. “Now we will begin by removing the weapons on at a time. Chester make sure to document everything I say and mark anything unusual as we proceed. Enchanters if you would after I examine it proceed to heal the wounds. Should anything occur that you are unfamiliar with stop immediately and describe whatever it is you feel. I am starting with the right side on the front of the torso.” Amber didn’t feel it, but she could hear a quiet sucking sound and then the sound of a retch. The woman described her actions and the man, Chester scribbled furiously. Amber tuned out her voice when she spoke of the wounds.  


After the description was finished the woman stepped back and another stepped forward, “I am Enchanter Devon Halmmstead. I will be attempting to heal you using a simple healing spell.” His voice was the man’s who had noted her tattoos.  


“Why are you introducing yourself to her Halmmstead?” Chester inquired.  


“Habit probably. Who knows she may be conscious.” He laughed at that. The others let out uneasy chuckles. _Fuck you I am!_  


He stepped forward and Amber heard a low off pitch tone swell up into her brain. The moment the magic touched her she felt wrong. It didn’t hurt but she could feel the place where he was trying to heal her. The magic felt as if it was a square over a smaller circle, it didn’t fit and she knew it wouldn’t work. The feeling faded, “After a count to fifty I am reexamining the wound… I find no change.” The second part of his sentence sounded baffled.  


“What?!” The first female healer stepped forward the scribe scribbled on. “Hmm, you try it Soro.”  


“Yes Serah Marden!” She sounded childish, eager to please, and definitely young. But there was something else. There was a barely audible melodic tone to her voice. _She’s an elf._ Amber wasn’t sure how she knew it, she just did, as sure as she knew life sucked at this moment.  


The girl’s magic flowed into her, and while the sensation was not as uncomfortable as the other mage’s it still didn’t feel right. Amber knew her magic wouldn’t work either. And after a few moments the feeling faded away and the girl repeated what the other mage had said. The group speculated and moved on. They did the same thing to each of her wounds. The repetition became tedious and Amber began to allow herself to slip away, grasping at the Fade.  


Just as she felt the Fade begin to actually take her, a knife like pain stabbed through her head. She felt air pass over her vocal cords and emit a cry of pain. The healers jumped back dropping her head. Amber didn’t notice the drop because pain suddenly enveloped her being. She couldn’t move but her nerve sensors had been unblocked and every injury she had flared to life.  


She attempted to cry out again but nothing happened. She was only able to feel and not move. For a moment her mind cleared and a memory forced its way into her brain:  


_Jason and Jackson were up and coming fighters in the underground. They had lost their mother and her brothers had turned to fighting to take care of her. It was a year before she had dropped out of school she was sixteen. She had recently received her first tattoo, and her brothers had bought her a dress to show it off at the party they were attending.  
_

_The dress was formal and all long hair was in up dos. The men were in tuxedos. There were lots of wealthy people. Amber could pick out the men who were fighters. Their mannerisms were different and resembled her brothers. Stance, facial expressions, and the way they held their drinks. There were two different breeds of people here. She could tell she fit in with the other breed but was more comfortable with the fighters, specifically, of course, her brothers.  
_

_She had been nervous at first but Jason and Jackson had not left her alone. She was introduced to wealthy looking men and women, whom her brothers said were big fans of theirs. She had chatted with one handsome man with deep ocean green eyes. Those eyes roved over her possessively making her shiver. Her brothers had moved closer to her in his presence. The man had seemed amused by that and moved on.  
_

_She had noticed the look her brothers shared. “What?”  
_

_“Nothing just stay close to us. If anyone asks you anything just let us answer.” The music grew louder at that point and the go-go dancers began to pole dance. Amber was amused at the fact she was at a rave where none of the party goers were dancing. She didn’t dance because she didn’t want the eyes of these people on her.  
_

_After what seemed like hours a familiar face, her brother’s manager Mr. Wright, got up on the stage with the DJ, the music stopped and he took the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming to my little soiree!” Chuckles and clapping sounded through the crowd. “As you are aware, tomorrow we kick off the Grand tournament that is held every five years.” More clapping. “Tonight we celebrate our fighters and our patrons. Many of us have large sums on these fights. Yes Charles, I am talking about you.” He pointed to someone in the crowd, laughter sounded around them.  
_

_Amber heard a couple comment on Charles and his gambling problem. They chortled and Mr. Wright continued on in a light hearted speech about the wonders of hand to hand battle and what makes a man a man. Near the end he inhaled deeply, “And ladies and gentlemen that leads me to the subject of honesty, integrity, and above all loyalty. We have a lesson to learn tonight in addition to our revelry.” The room tensed and quiet gasps came up from the crowd.  
_

_“Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a traitor in our custody. My agents witnessed him leaving an office building known to us as a rendezvous for the FBI. One Mr. Wade Terrance March.” She unconsciously gripped Jason’s arm and pulled it closer to her. He put a hand over her arm and squeezed reassuringly. The man motioned behind him and the screen she had not seen there before lit up.  
_

_On it was a naked man laid out on a steel table. Amber shivered. He had short black hair and an attractive body. His golden brown eyes were open and his face was blank. In the silence of the room you could hear two distinct breathing patterns over the speakers. One calm and even, the other erratic and rushed, she knew the latter belonged to the man, Wade.  
_

_“It is with regret we send you to your retirement Wade. I did enjoy your jokes.” Mr. Wright seemed to have real regret for what was about to happen. Amber turned her head into Jason’s chest and he held her close. Quiet steps came up beside them and she reached out and clasped Jackson’s hand as well. “My dear.” Mr. Wright repeated himself only once before she looked up into Jason’s eyes. They were glaring above her head at the man they owed so much to. She turned to look. He was staring right at her. “Everyone must watch what happens to people who talk to the wrong people.” He turned back to the screen. She felt her brothers stiffen.  
_

_“The lights will go out before it starts.” Jackson had leaned in to her ear. “I will block your vision in the dark.” His lips touched her hair. She watched as gloved hands reached into the frame and began to draw a red runny line down the man’s chest with a metal object. Her eyes almost bugged out of her head. The lights went out and Jackson and Jason repositioned themselves in the dark to shield her. But she didn’t miss as tears began to fall down Wade’s pale face._

She was pulled back to reality by another sharp pain through her head. “Nothing this time. Let’s leave that for after we stitch her wounds together.” Marden intoned clinically. The tempurature was cool on her bare body, the air pressure constricting. Her nakedness was very aparent. She could hear and feel the ‘healers’ begin their work. She screamed internally as a needle pierced her skin. The one sewing her back together pulled roughly on the thread to get it tight enough to hold the flesh in place.  


For what seemed an eternity she lay there in agony unable to do anything. She tried to tell herself it would be alright. But the bubble of negative emotion had already engulfed her mind and she was imagining what she would do to their faces after breaking all of their bones one by one.  
They had taken turns. The process was tedious for them and they made small talk about circle life as they worked. She hated each of them. After they had finished they began to discuss what was to be done with the final arrow.  


“We could leave it for the apostate.” Marden suggested. “He seems to think he is better than the rest of us, ( _He IS!_ ) so let him solve that problem. In the meantime Chester if you would, please apply the poultices and record anything odd.”  


“Yes Serah.” The others left and she felt a small relief as the man placed the cool gel like substance on her skin. The relief was short lived, he began to roughly massage it into her wounds whistling and humming an incessant tune over and over.  


“Hmmm Hm Hm HMMMHMMM HmmHM!” that stayed in Ambers addled and raging mind long after he left her alone and naked.

Varric returned a some time later grumbling about humans and their obliviousness. His steps abruptly stopped and he gasped, “Andraste’s ass!” She listened as her moved to the bed she lay on. She felt as a coarse blanket covered her skin. “Stupid humans.” He moved away from her and the chair squeaked and shifted on the floor. She listened as something scratched on parchment. He must have been using a quill because the scratches were different from what the healers had used.  


She stoked her wrath for the people of the Inquisition. And pictured with satisfaction what her brothers would do if they knew how she had been treated. They would not have allowed any of it. _They would end up JUST like Mr. Wright!_ She laughed inside her head at the memory of his down fall.  


Varric’s tenor voice broke through this particularly disturbing thought train, “Amber, I am sorry about not getting back sooner. I had a long discussion with Ruffles. She’s the Ambassador. When Solas gets back we are going to make sure you are taken care of. If he declines to help I will do it by myself.” He paused a moment as if deciding whether or not she could hear him. He had moved close enough she could probably grab his throat. “I don’t know where you came from but you’re here now. I hope we can help you find some where to belong. I will help you as best I can.” His chair shifted and he moved back to his table. The rest of the night was silent. His scratching was the only clue that, like her, he was going to be awake.  


She stewed in her anger, confusion, and fear as her mind lulled her into a trance like state. She was only vaguely coherent when a bell rang in the distance outside the window. She bolted back to consciousness. _He’s back!_ She suddenly became aware of something. A feeling, a disembodied feeling was tugging at her mind. She grabbed it with her conscious. The feeling seemed to grip back, and her anger and confusion were overwhelmed by a sense of elation.  


“Looks like Kumquats back. I hope you don’t mind if we give them a bit to rest and relax before we drop your situation on them.” Varric was musing out loud, but she hadn’t listened just explored this new thing outside of herself. The emotions flowing from it changed from elation to confusion to something resembling a benign suspicion. It sent a sense of reassurance and then was gone. She almost panicked but realized her anger and negative emotions had retreated back to deep inside her Bubble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for your comments and Kudos. They are very encouraging! Let me know what you think. Are there any areas of confusion? Do I need to clarify anymore? Your thoughts are always appreciated!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited for a continuity issue and grammar mistakes.

She lay there for hours waiting for Solas. He didn’t come and whatever that thing was that she had felt had not come back either. Varric had departed shortly after the bells had rung. He had not returned either. Amber was tired and had tried to sleep but she had not been able to lose consciousness. She was only ever just on the verge of sleep, could just feel the Fade but not touch it. 

It was as if the arrow in her head had severed whatever gland secreted the necessary chemicals to shut the brain off but left her mind fatigued and sluggish. She was so very tired. The pain was a constant too. She tried to focus on other things, like the dim hum of the Breach from the only window, but the pain would sharpen and stab at her. She could feel the skin around the wounds begin to swell and stretch, becoming warm slowly with the gradually strengthening waves of pain.

She knew she was going to go mad. She was lying on a bed unable to do anything. No sight, or smell, or taste only hearing and touch. Her wounds were becoming infected and she could feel every moment of it. As time ticked by, it became more difficult for her to focus on any one thought. _I miss clocks._ She intoned, and was still attempting to remember what numbers she would need for one when the door creaked. She tried to focus her hearing but everything had gone all muffled. 

Two sets of feet softly moved into the room. “Are you sure we should be in here Halmmstead?” The young elven mage inquired.

“SHHHH! I just want to see how it’s doing. Marden is trying to keep us away from it. I think this is absolutely fascinating!” His voice sounded like he was a kid going for a new video game. The mages stepped into the cabin lightly. “Don’t you think this is fascinating Soro? What do you think she is? Most are guessing an abomination.”

“I think you’re being foolish!” The elf whispered loudly.

He gushed in excited whispers, “Just think it could be one of your ancestors! An Ancient Elf!” His companion did not respond.

Amber wanted to tell them to go away. They moved closer and removed the blanket that was covering her. The cold air felt good on her skin. Her flesh broke out in goosebumps. She moaned internally.

“Maker! Do you feel this heat?!” Halmmstead gasped.

“She is not healing! The wounds are infected!” 

“Quickly get a bucket and a knife.” Light stomping replied, away and back.

“Maker, Maker, Maker! Go retrieve Master Adan!” The stomping rushed to the door and it swung open. Halmmstead kept repeating the name of his God under his breath as he roughly grabbed the wound on her chest and began to slice at the stitches. The immense pain cleared her head enough that she could follow what was going on more clearly. Amber felt something ooze as he squeezed, and he retched twice before he finished cutting the stitches on the first wound. 

“What are you doing?!” Angry Varric yelled.

“Master Tethras! Hurry! We need to clean out these wounds!” The dwarf moved closer and gasped. Amber felt as another finger reached inside of her and hooked to pull more ooze out. Her mind screamed when his dirty fingers brushed against her insides. She could feel each organ respond to his filthy finger’s touch.

“What’s wrong?! Why do they look infected?!” 

“They **are** infected. I don’t know how they became this infected so quickly. The poultices should have protected against infection!?” The mage sounded confused and scared. 

“You just stitched her up this morning!?” She felt the bed shift as the dwarf climbed up, he straddled her legs and began to slit the stitches on her left side. “She had some of these on her back.” His voice was quieter and focused. More feet rushed into the building.

“What are you doing here Halmmstead?!”

“Not now Marden! Soro, that cloth on the table there. Master Ad-

“You’ll have to get more, that’s not clean enough.” Varric interrupted.

“It’s as clean as anything else and we are just wiping away the pus.” Amber felt as a cool cloth swiped at her skin. “Master Adan, do you have anything to help with infections?” 

“The poultices I provided last night were just that. What’s wrong? Wh- why isn’t she bleeding?” The gruff man halted on the last question.

“The wounds are deeply infected. As for the second, I don’t know.“ He began cutting at the stitches above her left lung, Varric’s short fingers were cleaning out her left side. She was in searing agony.

“I will go and get the elfroot extract. We can’t use too much, but it should help. “ He turned as he spoke. “Thank the Maker she is unconscious.” The others made noises of agreement. Amber silently sobbed.

 

Hours later her whole body stung and ached. All of her wounds were open; she could feel as pus filled in the holes requiring a clean out every hour. Someone was roughly scrubbing at the hole in her chest with a cool cloth. The fever haze had settled back in so Amber’s mind was focused on nothing.

“I don’t understand where all the pus is coming from.” Soro sounded disgusted as she leaned over Amber.

“Don’t ask me kid.” Varric sounded weary across the room. “How long until they figure out something that will work?” 

“I don’t know I was just an apprentice when the Circles rebelled. I came to Haven to assist Enchanter Halmmstead.”

“If Chuckles was here he could search the Fade.” The elf paused.

“Chuckles? Is he the apostate that went with the Herald? Solas, I think his name was.” The young elf’s question brought Amber’s random thoughts to a halt.

“Yeah that’s right. He is one smart man. He spends too much time asleep, but he knows a lot.” The dwarf mused.

“I heard he was a Dreamer! And obsessed with the Fade?” Amber didn’t like the elf’s curiosity or enthusiasm about her friend.

“Yeah obsessed would be a good description. He tells us stories about the things he sees, the memories. It’s really interesting… sometimes creepy. It’s like the walls are watching what’s going on all the time and make a portrait of the interesting stuff. But he had to sleep away probably half his life to acquire it all. He doesn’t seem to run out of them either. And I haven’t ever heard him repeat one.” He ended with a contemplative tone.

“I had noticed him when we first approached the Inquisition after the Breach. He seemed so confident and proud. And being an apostate he must be stronger than most mages, living on his own. And he is so very tall.” She gained a dreamy tone to her voice as she spoke. “Unlike any elf I have known.” Her hands stilled. Amber felt her pain begin to numb as her anger began to rise. The Bubble down inside her reached out and caressed her mind.

“Just **noticed** , huh?” The smile in the dwarf’s voice caused the young elf to stiffen. “I could introduce you.” Amber was so very angry but she couldn’t move. She wanted to get out of the room away from these two and their infuriating conversation. She knew her feelings were selfish, but he was the only person she really trusted. This mage was one of those responsible for her current state of being. Amber could feel the sadness and embarrassment roiling in her head, familiar and strange all at once. 

“You-you could?” Hope filled her voice as the girl’s weight shifted onto the hole in Amber’s heart. A bolt of pain shot through her drowning out the rest of the brief conversation until Varric pointed out what she was doing. “Ooops!” She said in an excited voice she giggled too. _I hope you die!_ Soro finished cleaning out the wounds one last time before wrapping them up for the night. They decided not to put the stitches back in.

The day ended and Varric’s cot arrived when the temperature in the room was about five degrees lower, indicating what Amber believed to be nightfall. She heard him set up the cot next to the bed and the dwarf changed his clothes.

“Let’s get some sleep Daf-… Amber.” The cut off twisted her heart in a different kind of pain. She had changed in his mind, she wasn’t the same and that hurt a lot because she didn’t know what it meant or what to do about it. “Let’s hope things are better in the morning.“ The cot beside her squeaked and soon the Dwarf was snoring. Amber was glad for that it gave her something to focus on. She counted each breath, grouping them between snorts and rollovers. By the time he woke up he had breathed approximately 8994 times, with five various interruptions.

He awoke and dressed. She felt his cool hand touch her forehead. He made a disgusted noise and swept out of the cabin. The rest of the day went by very slowly. The mages and healers came in once an hour to clean out her wounds, it was torture each time. They left them open to the air. As the smell they encountered after unwrapping her in the morning had, apparently, been highly offensive. And the Spy Master stopped by to ask questions and get information on Amber’s condition. A low conversation took place that her fevered state didn’t let her hear. 

Then the room began to cool despite the fire, heralding another night. Soro left after wrapping up her wounds again and covering her. The bells rang as she left. Varric who had been writing at his table, stood and padded to the window with bare feet. “I’m pretty sure that’s them this time...” Her heart tightened at the thought that her friend was finally back. There was a scrapping of boots, she imagined the dwarf sliding them on. “I will go get Chuckles. He probably needs rest but I think he might want to know about you before tomorrow.” The dwarf stepped out and shut the door behind him.

She waited; her anticipation at hearing his voice again cleared her mind slightly and canceled out the dull ache that had settled after her wounds had been left alone. She strained her fuzzy concentration on the sounds outside the cabin. 

She could hear the hum of the Breach and the snow crunch with the feet of passersby. The cabin’s fire crackled and the elfroot growing outside brushed against the back of the cabin. She could pick out the distant opening and closing of the Chantry doors, the faint din of the tavern on the east side of town, some rodent scrabbling into the wood pile outside. It was an eternity before muffled voices moved close enough to the door to indicate Varric was back. They stopped and she listened as a silence fell between the two talking. The lower voice started saying something.

The door creaked open. “…what to do.” Varric sounded concerned.

“As I said before,” Amber sobbed inside at the sound of his voice. It was like hearing her brothers’ names after the end of a fight. Relief was here. “Her anatomy is the same as other elves, they should not have had any trouble healing her.” He sounded confused and weary.

“I know Solas, but it only got worse. I think the wounds have swelled to the size of a nug’s head. ” She tried to reach out to him but her body wouldn’t move. She felt that outside feeling again. Surprise and confusion met her desperate thoughts. “What is it?” Varric asked sounding more concerned. 

“She’s conscious.” Solas said it quietly. 

“What?!” Varric rushed to the bed.

“Amber?” She felt the dwarfs hand clasp her own. The outside feeling encompassed her and she felt reassured.

She could physically feel a large hand with long fingers clasp her forehead and the rush of cool magic wash over her mind through her temples. Nothing happened. She felt comforted after feeling his magic go through her; it felt better than the other mages’, it felt right. But the pain had not dimmed and she was still conscious. The blanket came off of her. She had a conscious thought that she was still naked but was too desperate to care.

“Varric, please go get some clean cloth and hot water.” The dwarf left quickly after a squeeze to her hand. Solas was near her lower torso and had begun to unwind her bandages. “I know this is painful and uncomfortable Da’len, but it is better if you are still. I tried to put you asleep but the spell did not take hold.” She sobbed inside at the prospect of more pain. He moved back to her head and began to pet her hair. “Shhhh, Da’len.” His voice was soft next to her ear. “Hold on to my Aura and I will be done as quickly as possible.” His body moved back and the slow and painful process of removing the bandages began. When he had her wounds exposed she felt a wave of his magic in her left side. She grasped tightly to that outside feeling, his Aura. It was steady and confident. Relief flooded her as he healed the wound.

A soft sound occurred. “Who are you?” Solas asked alarmed turning from her towards the room.

“I am Cole. I am Compassion. She hurts, days of pain and loneliness. ‘Please make it stop. Why does this keep happening? I miss my brothers. I missed Solas.’” Amber became alarmed at the young voice’s announcement. “She is very fond of you.” There was a pause

“I thank you Cole, but I think she would rather you didn’t speak for her right now.” Amber strained to hear any disgust or annoyance in his voice.

“I want to help. She was falling and alone, dreaming of real things and home that’s not.” 

Another pause, “I will help her now. Perhaps when she is better you can speak with her and help her then.”

“She is trapped and can’t move. She feels and hears everything but can’t see or smell or taste. It hurts.” The soft sound occurred again. Silence covered the room and in it a foreboding began to build.

“I have sent a message to someone who might be able help with your situation Da’len. I have not told the others because I do not have any real information yet. I will try to be as discrete as possible but I must maintain my place with the Inquisition.” He sounded apologetic and tired. And she pushed understanding and gratitude towards his Aura. 

“Thank you for your understanding young one.” He touched her hair again a wave of warmth spread over her head. Her pain numbed briefly.

 

The door opened loudly. “Chuckles? I got the stuff you asked for.” She heard water slosh around as he moved through the room and sat the tub on the floor.

“Is everything alright?” Harold questioned, her voice was tired as well. Amber squeezed him tighter, and he paused.

“I am healing her. Varric has yet to explain how she became like this. She is running a very high fever and her wounds are infected. But they are responding to my healing.” He resumed his work on her chest.

“I am glad to hear she is going to be alright. But if I may, isn’t it dangerous for you to be using magic so soon? We just got out of that fight with those bandits not an hour from here. And it’s not like she is going to die.” Amber flooded with guilt. His aura encompassed her own and sent a wave of ease and comfort.

“Bandit’s so close to Haven?” Varric cut in.

“I am well enough to heal her.” Another squeeze. “And Sula-“

“Solas!” Harold cut him off.

He paused just a moment. “Herald, she is very aware of what is going on right now.” He shifted her as he spoke from her back to her stomach in order to address the exterior wounds he had not been able to heal from the front. He turned her gently back when finished.

“You mean she is conscious?” Harold spoke softly, disbelievingly.

“Yes… Amber I am going to try and remove the arrow in your head.” She responded with uncertainty and dread. Another shot of pain rippled through her. She let out a sob when the arrow head shifted to the front of her skull slightly. She felt a wave of magic and the pain dulled.

“Creators! She **is** awake!” Amber barely caught the sound of someone bumping into the table. 

“Shit.” Varric’s voice sounded weak.

Solas began to mumble Elvhen under his breath. He twisted the arrow slightly once again, and she felt her face scrunch in pain. He shifted it back and it went lax.

“Does the Inquisition have anything sharp enough to cut through bone? A scalpel perhaps?” At his words Amber panicked. “Shhh Da’len.” He cooed quietly, she felt his hand caress her. Her focus immediately captured by his long fingers gently sliding down the side of her face. “I will make sure you are all right.” She wanted to hug him close and was angry she still couldn’t move. The tendrils of anger began to move out from the place, but his calm overwhelmed them and they receded.

“I- I will ask Adan.” Harold squeaked out and Amber almost missed as the light steps rushed from the room.

“Can’t you put her to sleep Chuckles? “ The dwarf hadn’t moved from the foot of the bed.

“I attempted that to begin with. The magic did not take hold, I believe the arrow head may have been made of a Fade-touched metal or coated with magebane. “ She heard water dripping as he spoke. He wrung out the cloth and began to wipe down her body. The cloth was warmer and she noticed her body had cooled some.

“Magebane? I thought you said she wasn’t a mage? That stuff shouldn’t have any effect on her.”

“Apparently she became one, or close to one, while we were collecting the Templars.”

“Andraste’s tits Buttercup, what did you shoot her with?”

Solas made a disapproving sound. “Sera did this?”

“That night was all kinds of messed up.” She could hear his hand rubbing his face and neck as he spoke.

“I would like to know what happened.”

“I need sleep and ale to even properly sift through the last few days Chuckles. “

“I am not opposed to that.”

“Thanks.” He sounded exasperated. The door to the cabin opened wide and more than two people came inside.

“What is the meaning of this?!” The sadist Marden was outraged for some reason.

“Master Adan, do you have a scalpel or a bone knife?” Solas talked over the woman.

“All I have is this boning knife Serah Solas.” His feet moved towards the bed and Amber felt the air move as Solas turned to retrieve the knife.

“This should work fine with the right spells. Thank you.” Solas intoned as he turned back to her setting the knife on the bed side table.

“This is my patient you can’t just com-“ Marden was just beginning a rant when Varric cut her off.

“Whatever you guys did made it worse. He was closing those wounds within five minutes of seeing her. “ The shuffling of feet was the only response. “ You,” he emphasized the word, “haven’t even stopped in to check on her. You haven’t been into see her since yesterday! Patient my ass!”

Amber felt fury coat Solas’ Aura. It was covered after she became distressed by it. He squeezed her hand with his empty one and took a deep breath. “In the best interest of the patient I suggest you leave.” His tone was calm and authoritative.

“What?! Who do you think you are, knife-ear?!” The room went silent for a few breaths. “I-I-I-I-I I am sorry! I am very weary after attending so many today.” Satisfaction colored him as the woman backpedaled. 

“I think you should go get a drink Marden. The two of you as well.” This was Master Adan.

“Yes Serah.” She left quickly with two others following her.

“Solas, I can’t imagine this will be pleasant for her. Is there anything we can do for her?” Harold’s attitude had shifted from earlier.

“I don’t imagine it will be Herald. Unless the Dalish have some remedy for pain and sanity that doesn’t involve swallowing. I do not wish to put her through more than is necessary at this point.” The first part had a hard edge to it but it softened slightly near the end.

“I do happen to have a mixture that you can smoke that dulls the senses.” She had taken offense at his tone. “But…” Harold hesitated.

“Yes?”

“It can cause hallucinations in some people. The Keeper says to only use it in extreme cases.”

“You brought _Fensyl_ with you on a spy mission?” The surprised voice came from Solas.

“I might have needed it for various reasons.” She defended.

“Sulahn-“ He began a bit angry

“Solas, I swear on the Dread Wolf’s paws, if you don’t stop that I will make you regret it.” Amusement covered him and Amber wondered what was so funny.

“Come on you two. Back to the task at hand. Amber is waiting for you to finish Chuckles.” The dwarf cut in.

“I will be back shortly. Unless you don’t want help from the Dalish?” 

“Your help would be much appreciated Herald.” He voice was neutral.

Amber listened as Harold left. Solas resumed cleaning her wounds.

After a few minutes of silence Master Adan spoke up, “Serah, can I ask you a question?”

“You may.”

“How is she still alive? Is she an abomination?” His voice was gruff and apprehensive. 

“We know she isn’t an abomination.” She heard a splash as he sighed, and the rustle of cloth. “I am doing research into the matter. And have come up with nothing so far. I am searching the Fade for anything that might help.” She felt the long fingers of his hand gently move an errant strand of her hair away from her face and behind her ear.

“Is she dangerous? I have not heard many good things about her. The laundry house are the only ones who say much else and they are closed lipped for the most part.” Amber was concerned about the ladies from the vat house. _Are Ashara and Margarete alright?_ She squeezed his Aura and he responded by caressing her hair comfortingly.

“She is as dangerous as anyone. I suppose even more so, now she that has even more reason to dislike the Inquisition. But she does not strike me as the type of person to harm someone without reason.”

“She saved a few of those laundry girls from getting raped. Took out the soldier in question. That’s the information we have so far. The Spy Master is waiting to get the rest of the information from her.” Varric informed them.

“I heard about that… Is it true about the knife to the throat and the glowing eyes?” The potions maker inquired. 

“I saw it with my own two eyes.” 

“Maker! This stuffs right out of Exaltations…” He spoke more to himself.

“Don’t start with that end of the world stuff Adan.” Varric warned tiredly.

The potion maker didn’t answer. The door opened and closed.

“Here you are Solas. I brought my burner as well.” She moved as she spoke.

“Thank you Herald.”

“What is that stuff?” Varric asked.

“It is a mixture of herbs the Dalish usually use for recreational purposes.” Solas sounded disapproving.

“It is a **useful** recipe that allows our Keepers and healers to help those who would otherwise refuse that help… It also helps to ease tensions during Arlathvhen.” She added the last bit as an aside. “Master Adan, Varric, we probably don’t want to be in here when he lights that.” She opened the door and the other two began to move out of the building. “Don’t use too much Solas,” she had an amused tone. “We don’t want our Fade expert out of commission for too long.”

“I will try to restrain myself Herald.” The door shut and he began to move things off the table beside her head. 

His voice was very quiet as he spoke, as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear him in the empty room. “Amber I am going to burn something to help ease you. I know a spell that will remove the arrow but the others cannot know about it. It is a very advanced spell and very old.” She gripped his Aura with her own _You mean you aren’t going to cut me open?!_ “I am glad you are relieved Da’len.” His hand caressed her cheek again. “You don’t have to worry, it will be done soon.”

She listened as he moved about. He set down something that sounded ceramic and she listened as he opened a leather pouch. His clothes rustled a few moments later, “I will step out. This should be a sufficient amount for my purposes. I will be back in an hour.” She sobbed and squeezed him tighter not wanting him to leave. “Shhh.” He put his cheek to hers and cautiously pulled her into a hug. “It’s alright. I will not let go of your Aura. And I will be back as soon as the air in the room clears.“ She despised him for speaking to her like a child, but kept a tight hold. He laid her back gently and stepped out of the room. Her tight aural grasp didn’t loosen and his didn’t pull away.

Soon she began to feel muggy. She began to hear scratching noises. Her grip on Solas tightened and his calm soothed her. More slowly than she wanted the door to the cabin opened. “Da’len I am coming in.” He shut the door and came to the bed. His hand touched her forehead and a cool wave washed over her again.

“This might hurt a bit but it will be quick.” She felt the pressure his hand place on the arrow and then it was gone. Another warm wave came over her and as she breathed in a tart smell came over her. She let out a sob as the warmth pulled away. He covered her mouth muffling her voice, “Shhhh. This is supposed to take at least an hour.” He sat on the bed next to her and pulled her into a hug rocking her and rubbing her back.

She began to cry into his tunic sucking air in her mouth. The taste of pine and animal and musk filled her mouth. She clumsily grasped his tunic as he pet her head and moved onto the bed against the wall, in a position where he could hold her more fully. He whispered things to her in Elvhen as she cried. 

“I-“ It hurt to speak, to whisper. “I hate this world Solas. I want to go home.”


	18. Chapter 18

Cassandra woke before dawn as she always did. She gathered her clothes and headed to the small closet Josephine, Leliana, and she shared as a wash room. The water was in the basin already. The elven girl that cleaned their room was kind hearted and thorough with her duties. She smiled at the thought and made a mental note to make sure she got something extra to send to her family in Highever. Leliana had said her brother would be of age soon. The girl had feared he would want to trade places with her. Cassandra would help her stay if she wanted.

She slid into the lukewarm water. Too hot and her skin would redden. Leliana always made fun of her when she would come from the bath reddened from the heat. She scrubbed the night away from her hair and skin and got out quickly toweling down and dressing in her pants and tunic. She sighed at feeling fresh again and braided her hair deftly crowning her head before fastening it with a small hair pin.

Her night clothes dropped off in the laundry basket she put on her armor and sword and headed for the main chapel. Thirty minutes of prayer before the practice fields. She was always there thirty minutes after the Commander and his troops. 

She trained hard that day. The rest of the Templars they needed to seal the Breach would arrive in four days. Two days of rest and then they would make an attempt at the Breach. She swung hard and the sword jolted in her grip as it cut through old metal and straw striking the wooden pole beneath becoming wedged. She grunted and jerked it free. They would be done with the first part of their mission in seven days. _Hopefully._ The Maker had tested her many times in the past. And many more tests would come before the danger was passed, but she would keep hoping for the best. The young Herald was turning out to be quite the blessing.  
She was helping everyone she came across and had convinced quite a few men and women of all races, classes, and occupations to join their cause. Helping with even the most mundane of tasks, the image of the children jumping up and down as the four of the brought the ram’s meat it too the Crossroads was something that had affected the young elf deeply. The Seeker smiled at the memory of her laying flowers next to the widower’s wife’s grave. She began to go over the elf’s actions as she swung mercilessly at the dummy. 

She had been thorough in searching the Hinterlands; all of the known Rifts were closed. The refugee’s had been stocked and fed. The elven man’s wife had survived the long wait for her potion. She had been able to convince members of that cult to help with the Refugee’s at the Crossroads. They were spreading word of the inquisition to those outside of the Hinterlands on trips to evacuate people to towns and cities outside of the area. The Deep Roads of Valammar had been a nightmare and she was thankful the tunnel the darkspawn were using had been blocked off.

The Fallow mire had been three weeks of awful but they had been able to rescue their soldiers and recruit that strange Avvar man. She remembered seeing a few of the faces of those the rescued volunteering for the forward scouting mission to the Western Approach. Leliana and Cullen had felt scouting the area around the elven ruins to the west was just too dangerous to assign. So they had asked for volunteers to assist Scout Harding. Varric had been doubly miserable in the Fallow Mire wading through the swamps. She smiled at the memory of him stepping from the beach just into the water to collect samples off of one of the corpses and sinking in the mud up to his waist. Solas had laughed as he helped the dwarf out. 

The Herald had searched for signs of the Wardens in the Storm Coast; had closed all the Rifts there and in the Fallow Mire. And no one can doubt she did her best when dealing with the Templars. Having conscripted them she brought on more responsibility for the Inquisition but they could guide those Templars that remained loyal along a better path than their former superiors. Cassandra hoped they were up to the task of leading them. 

The Herald had worked hard the past few months; and she had done an amazing job of leading them in the field. Leliana and Cullen had been skeptical at first. Her being so young, the girl had never told them her age, or her name for that matter, except for Leliana, who also kept it a secret. All she had really said on the matter was that her name was odd even for a Dalish and she would rather not share it at this point in time. So they called her Herald. It was frustrating but the girl grew on you.

She paused when movement on the wall caught her eye. The young elf was sitting on the wall of Haven devouring those fruits she loved so much. Varric had made sure to keep them in stock for her. The dwarf was very fond of her and like most of the others had come to think of her as family. 

Cassandra was becoming comfortable enough around her. In their short time together the two had become very close. And spoke about many things. She was pleased to think that the elf might consider converting. Their conversation shortly after she woke following the first attempt at the Breach had revealed a thirst for knowledge in the elf. Her questions about the Maker and Andraste had pleased the Seeker immensely. The two had had private conversations on the topic, out of the public eye. One set of eyes in particular, Solas. The apostate had caught her attentions. From what Cassandra could tell the apostate had more than frowned at the idea of her curiosity in Andrastianism. She sent up a short prayer for her friend that she might find the Flames of Andraste deep in her soul.

The Seeker heard a crow call and looked up to see where it was coming from. The bird swooped into the town at an angle that suggested it was one of Leliana’s. Sheathing her sword the woman started back towards the town. She would stop in the Chantry for a quick wipe down before going to speak with the red head.

The gates of Haven stood open revealing the small village in its late morning bustle for lunch. She walked and watched as the people moved about their business. Humans, elves, a few dwarves and even a qunari were all working together to fix the world. Peace that could spread across Thedas seamlessly abounded here. They all moved about the world making the Inquisition run smoothly.

Her eyes passed over Varric as he stood next to the campfire just up the stairs speaking with someone. She felt annoyance at the sight of him. He was so frustrating and talented. Reading the previous chapters of Swords and Shields for the third time waiting on the next chapter was all fine and good, but the dwarf needed to get on the ball. 

She grunted at the thought then frowned at the person he was speaking with. It was the... A memory from the Grand Necropolis came to mind, but a new citizen was a mummy so the being before her was most likely an abomination. She had asked Solas about the possibility she might be like something from the Necropolis, just in the instance it could be true, but he had given her a resounding, “No.” He had repeatedly denied ‘she’ was an abomination as well. But the evidence was piling up against that being the case. Cassandra’s hand rested on the hilt of her sword. As she stepped up to the two a chill went down her spine and her skin broke out in goose pimples. She stopped and stared at it. She could almost swear some kind of heat or magic radiated from it but the tale tail signs of a mage weren’t there. The thing’s face went from concerned, to neutral, to displeased when they met eyes. 

“Varric, what are you up to?” She let suspicion cover her tone still keeping eye contact with the thing called Amber.

The dwarf looked between them before he answered. “Just helping Amber think of some way to help out. Maybe you have something?” Cassandra met his eyes then.

“What happened to work in the laundry house?” A disgruntled tsk pulled her attention back to the thing in question. It was looking to the gates, a look that told the Seeker it wanted to leave. She felt her hand grip the ball on her sword more tightly.

“The elves are too scared to let her work there anymore. They seem to think she is a demon or an abomination; just like most everyone else.” His voice sounded weary and she looked back, he had not sounded like that in any memory she had of him, even when she had stabbed his book.

“I will ask Leliana if there is any mor-“

“NO!” It was slightly hoarse and vehement pulling her attention once again. The thing looked angrier than before.

“Do you and Solas not have things for her to do? I hear the two of you have taken responsibility for her.” It looked away again and had the decency to look ashamed.

“I don’t need any help and Chuckles has been asleep since he pulled the arrow out of her head last night.” Cassandra felt her eyes widen as she stared at it.

“Her head?!” 

“Yeah long story. I am going to tell Chuckles tonight at the tavern, you’re welcome to listen in too.” He let his usual joviality come out again.  
“Do they have to know?” The thing pleaded stiffly eyeing Cassandra.

“It might help Chuckles look for clues in the Fade. And Cassandra and the rest of us need to know what is happening so we can help prevent you from flying off the handle.” It made a face at his accusation. “Come on now, Pech!” The Nevarran coming from his mouth halted the Seeker’s thoughts. “You need to be friendlier. Most of us know nothing about you, we need to be able to relate to you in some way! We all have weird stories! Kumquat’s got one going that might match yours someday.”

“Bad luck? You never told me you know Nevarran Varric?!” 

“What?” She had pulled him out of his train of thought. “I know it because Bartrand had been too busy. I had to learn most of them to be able to go over contracts. I didn’t tell you because we haven’t been the best of friends Seeker and it never really came up.” He gave her an amused skeptical look then began again, “You could come too Pech. If you really wanted to make friends this would be the way.” His winning smile pulled the last of the gloom off his face.

“I think I will pass and sleep again tonight.”

“You sure, it would be better if you waited until someone was there to help wake you up from a nightmare.” This alerted the Seeker.

“Nightmares? She is having nightmares?” She stepped up to it and grabbed its shoulders, “Have you had any contact with demons?”

“NO!” The thing shrugged out of Cassandra’s grasp and backed up looking at her like she was crazy. Cassandra could have sworn she had seen a flash of green in its eyes. 

“Come on Seeker give it a rest. The Iron Lady and Solas check her constantly on behalf of Nightingale. She doesn’t need you shaking her up too.” He had gently gripped the Seeker’s arm and kept her from pursuing.

“I will talk to you later Pech go back to the cabin. I will stop in before I head over to the tavern if you change your mind. Also let me know if you want to take Chuckles up on his offer. The both of us think you might sleep better in his cabin.” Amber gave an odd forlorn look to the dwarf. 

“I…” She looked down. “If you want I can sleep on the floor, I don’t mean to be a pain.” It almost sounded like pleading. 

Cassandra opened her mouth to comment but the dwarf cut her off with a look, “It’s no trouble, you have been through a lot. Just get some rest.” It nodded and headed into the cabin two doors down. The strange feeling faded as the thing walked away.

“Seeker you need to give her a break. Like I said she has been through a lot.”

“I have heard the rumors. I do not think I can believe someone who was shot in the head can be conscious through all of what she claims.” She kept her eyes on the closed door it had gone through.

“But you can believe she survived a shot through the head?” He sounded amused and she turned to look at him.

“I am from Nevarra. Necromancy and possession are common subjects when growing up and in the social world. We are apt to think that about someone who should be dead.”

“Good point.” He let his arm drop and he turned to look toward his cabin. “Come tonight Seeker. We will probably discuss what we are going to do about her. I wish she would come but I think the Chargers make her nervous.” He looked back up at her and smiled, “Besides, a little birdie tells me you’re a light weight.”

Cassandra felt the blush begin to rise and scowled thinking of how much he would tease her if she let him see it. He just smiled knowingly, clapped her on the back roughly and walked the opposite direction of Amber.

She ground her teeth and set off the find the little red headed birdie; and to remind the Left Hand why she was the Right Hand.

****************************************************************************************************************************

Vivienne sat at her desk and stretched after checking the wards to make sure no one was approaching her alcove in the Chantry. The long hours of reading over the texts from the room down stairs had not been a waste of time like she had expected it to be. Which was pleasing in and of itself, but to discover the history of the Cult of Andraste there had been a find worth the hours of pouring over the hard to read scripts. 

She had yet to question the Left Hand about her foray into the Temple. She would get to that soon enough, but this was fascinating. A text like this was as valuable as any sacred artifact. And she would make sure to add this to her collection. She smiled to herself and marked the page with the fading red ribbon that had been bound in the spine.

This trip to the backwoods had been difficult, but it had proven worth her trouble with this single item. And after the Templars helped the Herald close the Breach she would be in a good position to not only help the Inquisition but the Court would have her as a go between. The Game would be ever so much more interesting from this point on.

She heard giggling from near the War Room and frowned. A young Acolyte had recently taken to spending time with an elf apprentice from the tanner. His foul smell covered her most days and she preferred to pray at the statue closest to Vivienne’s bed. And though it was surrounded by thick warm hangings the smell penetrated it like wet mabari. 

She looked over her shoulder and watched as the young couple tried to sneak out of the Chantry. At least she seemed to be skipping her prayers today; she would never be ambitious enough to make it much past Sister in the hierarchy with that attitude. “Do be a dear and shut the door to the Hall, won’t you? The draft is not good for the  
tomes.” She smirked slightly as the young couple shushed each other and sprinted without any more sound, closing the door behind them as quietly as possible.

The enchantress’ mind turned to her lover and she sighed. He was ill and as the healers had predicted he had gone into the long sleep. She would need a special potion in order to send him off peacefully like he had requested of her. She had wept for only short time after he had offered his death to help her advance in the Court. And she would be certain to use it to its fullest, grabbing as much power as she could. She stilled her guilt as she always did and took a deep breath. 

“A nice hot tea would be best in times like these.” She mused to herself standing. Her favorite tea had run out of stock. Someone had arranged for her entire supply of Nevarran Sweet Tea to be dumped into Lake Luthias. The waterfall there had supposedly tasted of honey and carefully harvested blood lotus stalk for a week. The blonde elf had been suspiciously curious about anything interesting happening in the Hinterlands. The woman would be repaid someday soon, Vivienne vowed it. She adorned her favorite head piece and pulled her new fennec fur lined coat over her shoulders. Her staff stayed against the wall as she strode from the Chantry.

She blinked in the sun light. The warmth in the stone walls was a blessing but the dim light the Revered Mother insisted on, made her strain her eyes too much. She stepped carefully in the snow making sure to hold herself high as she made her way to the only decent tea in Haven, the Apothecary.

Her accord with the gruff man was an odd one. She had lost a wagon to bandits on the way to Haven and her stock of tea had been on it. Josephine had been a dear and was able to get her favorite tea to Haven before the trek to Therinfal. So as she waited she had come to him after her first and only attempt at the tea in The Singing Maiden. At her initial query he had almost laughed at her. But her sharp look had cut that off and he thought for a moment then, almost rudely, requested she come back in hour. She had done as requested and his tea had outdone her generously lowered expectations. He was no Orlesian Tea Master, but his was the best she had had in such meager surroundings. 

Today, as he had from her third visit on, he had the kettle ready and when she knocked he opened the door and pressed the rune on the kettle she had given him in exchange for his best teas. His company was the most pleasant she had come across of those in the lower classes of Haven, as he would let her drink the tea in peace and only ask her questions that pertained to his profession. 

She sat at the only stool in the room crossing her legs and looked out at the small area in front of the cabin. She would people watch from her vantage point and would amuse herself with the lives of those she might have more in common with had she not been born a mage.

The apostate stepped from his cabin and turned to the door resting his hand on it briefly closing his eyes. She felt a surge of magic pull in his direction. He stepped into the vacant cabin across the way. She would examine his ward before heading back to the Chantry. 

His magic was as fascinating as it was frightening. She would not try it without a Templar present but his ‘homegrown’ magic was strong and lasting. In what little time the two had spent together he had shown a surprisingly diverse affinity. His seemingly equal grasp of elemental and spiritual magic was astounding though she would never admit it out loud. 

When all was said and done and the elf was forced into a Circle, should the Templars not decide to kill him, she would make sure she had easy access to him. She nodded to her acquaintance as he set the tea in front of her.

The Enchantress blew gently on the hot beverage in the quaint floral patterned cup. She sipped it and let the mint and embrium flavors dwell on her tongue a moment before swallowing the wonderful liquid. She finished her tea in a leisurely manner and thanked the man Adan as she stood to leave. He nodded and she made her way to the apostate’s cabin.

She placed her fingers about the same area as he had and touched it with her own, she openly investigated it. Should he worry he could ask her to stop. It was a very thorough and well thought out ward. She memorized the patterns and would write it out when she could.

“Can I help you?” She snapped at the sudden voice looking to the stairs on her right. Vivienne narrowed her eyes at the elf that stood there. An odd tingling crept up her Aura and made her skin tingle. A shiver ran down her spine.

“What I do is none of your business elf.” She pushed her authority into her voice.

Her spring green eyes lit to the color of a Rift for a brief moment. The momentary flash of rage across the young girls face instantly changed to an odd contemplative look, “Yeah, it does when it’s my friend’s house you’re messing with. So what are you doing messing with my friend’s house?”

“The Enchanter was just curious as to the ward I used to guard my cabin Da’len.” Both women shot a look to the cabin across the open area, Vivienne’s more discreet and nonchalant. And there he was leaning against the wall, closed book in hand, relaxed and watching the scene. “Are you not supposed to be in Varric’s cabin? He informed me you wished to rest.” The elf’s eyes narrowed as he addressed her.

“I-I-I… I got bored and wanted to see if I could help you with your wizardiness.” Her hands moved about as she explained. The girl’s eyes darted up to Vivienne’s and a blush began to form across her nose and up her pale ears. The Enchantress smirked; the strange elf had a crush. She observed the object of the young elf’s affection to see if he too harbored something.

He gave the girl an amused look and turned his seemingly humble face to Vivienne his eyes searched her and she mentally shook off the feelings she got from his stare. As if she was beneath him somehow, she blinked and the look had been replaced by his normal serene contemplative one. Mentally relaxing she addressed the apostate. “I have not seen this combination used before.”

“I would guess as much Enchanter. It is a powerful ward, but not one of the more stable ones, taking years of practice to master. Therefore, most likely not even in the Circles’ most advanced tomes.” She narrowed her eyes at his words pulling herself to her full height.

“I would agree with you; but then again my dear, the Montsimmard Circle was not as focused on wards as some of the other Circles. I would be remiss should I speak for all of the Circles’ knowledge about such things. Perhaps when the world has returned to normal, you would be fortunate enough to find a Circle that complimented your abilities.” She smiled and began to walk back to the Chantry stepping toward the gap between the Apothecary and the cabin Solas stood in front of.

“Enchanter, should the world return to normal I greatly welcome the knowledge that all will share.” The Enchanter stopped at his tone, some sense that the elf knew what was going to be. She turned and looked back, he had turned his attention to the odd childish woman. _What a strange thing to say?_ She made a mental note of it and strode easily over the dried dirt path, blessedly devoid of snow for the most part, to the Chantry. 

*************************************************************************************************************

Solas sat comfortably in his chair and held a glass of wine as he listened to the events of the past few days. The Herald and her companions along with a few familiar faces, including the potion maker, sat in the empty tavern listening to the dwarf relay what had happened. All were silent, even Sera listened with rapt attention as the dwarf spoke. It was a short telling. 

The Viras Elgar’vhen’an, Fade Walker as he suspected she was, had been through a horrifying experience. She had told him she had been conscious for everything that had occurred and from the dwarf’s telling she had been. The healers had come to give their own perspective and relay what the dwarf could not. Those not directly involved with the Herald were dismissed shortly after and the group fell into a contemplative silence for a few moments.

“So is that everything we know about her?” The Herald spoke up. “She falls out of a rift refuses to tell us about herself and a series of unfortunate events befall her as a result? There must be something else. Solas you said you may have found something while we traveled close to the Brecilian Forest?” 

“There is a slim possibility; if the memory is correct.” Solas felt with his Aura. Amber, to his consternation, was out walking the walls of Haven. She was still distressed whether from her missing item or the incident he couldn’t tell. She greeted him as warmly as she could and he sent concern. She sent her acquiescence and began trekking back to the cabin. He pulled back still pondering the conversation at hand.

“It is more than we have now Solas.” The Seeker added from her chair next to the Ambassador.

“Very well…” he shifted into a more appropriate posture, taking a drink and setting his glass on the table before him. “A young Avvar man was speaking to the children of his clan. He was teaching them one of the tales that taught the Avvar knowledge from their gods. He told the tale of a clan far to the east near the coast of Ferelden. They encountered an area where the Veil was so thin a mage, if he looked at the moons just so, could see through the Veil at night. 

“One of the younger mages spoke of a dream of a group of people. He called them the Dream-Watchers, who lived on the other side of the Veil in the same place. The child spoke of how the strange men and women looked like birds and they would watch the clan’s dreams at night and their activities during the day. The clan became concern and afraid asking their thane to protect them. One night the Augur with the help of some spirits pulled one of the bird men through the Veil. They fought but neither one could best the other. After many hours of fighting they soon came to a truce as, somehow, the bird man could understand their speech. 

“He spoke with the clan and taught them about his people. Saying they were decedents of the ones who traveled between the Fade and the Waking world. They had lost the power to traverse the Veil and had become trapped in the Fade. They like the People, those of Arlathan, where immortal but they still needed the sustenance from the Waking to survive. Because they could no longer pass to find food the spirits offered their assistance.”

“How would demons help them?” The Commander interjected with concern. The room turned at his interruption he cleared his throat and waved Solas on.

The apostate nodded and continued, “The Dream-Watchers allowed the spirits to possess them and merged into one. After allowing several spirits to do so they too were able to feed on emotions like the spirits. They were able to pass on those traits and abilities that the spirits embodied to their children. Some of their decedents retained the ability to draw sustenance from the emotions of mortals and more interestingly they were able to consume magic.” 

Silence once again passed over the group who watched him as he sat back and picked up his glass. “As I said the possibility of young Amber being one of these Dream-Watchers is slim. She lacks a few of the characteristics and the information is from the memory of a tale that is most likely lost to the people who live the culture who passed it down.”

“So let me get this straight… The thing I shot in the ‘ead… didn’t die because it’s the kid of a friggen demon.” Sera spoke from her spot by the wall in between The Iron Bull and the Warden.. “Done. I’m friggen done.” She stood and began to step onto the table in front of her. She knocked a plate out of the way and nearly pushed over tankards before they were snatched out of the way.

“Hey there Sera, sit back down.” The Iron Bull wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back to her seat. She began to struggle in his grasp cursing. “Calm down. We have to decide what to do about this.”

Sera glared up, “You decide! I don’t wanna be here!”

“You can go Sera. My cabin is unlocked.” Many disapproving stares fixed on the Herald. “You can sleep there tonight.” The blonde bounded up out of her seat and out the door. Snatching up her bow as she left.

“Is this everything you have found Solas.” The Nightingale had moved behind the bar and was pouring herself a tankard of ale.

“I have not ended my search. It is difficult to find those willing to help so close to the Breach. Once it is closed perhaps I will find more.”

“Aren’t you a Dreamer Solas? Could you not just go into her dreams and find answers?” The Seeker looked up from her plate.

“You are a Dreamer?” The Warden questioned.

“I am. Though, I prefer to ask permission before entering a person’s dreams.”

“You don’t think she would give you permission?” The Iron Bull looked at him skeptically. “From what I hear you and Varric are the only two people she lets within a three foot radius. Krem and the rest are nervous. Some of them have taken to sleeping in shifts watching for her to come and take revenge. We need to know where she came from and what she can do.”

“I am concerned about that as well.” The Ambassador looked up from taking her notes. “Many people were there that evening. I have had many complaints about her harassing people in their dreams and requests that we do something to keep her away from people. Shouldn’t we protect the safety and security of those under our care?”

“As far as I am aware she is not a mage and does not have the ability to manipulate the Fade to that degree or invade the dreams of others. Though they do have cause for their fear Ambassador, I do not think she has been worrying about revenge. She was awake for much of the last few days. I am certain she is trying to process what happened. The first thing we need to do is allow her privacy. Though they were unawares the healers were representing the Inquisition and she associates their behavior with us. Taking all of that and her introduction in Haven… I feel if we want to bring her to our side we must first exhibit restraint we have thus far failed to offer.”

“From what I’ve heard, none of that applies to you or the dwarf.” The Warden said with a snide tone.

“What is the benefit of having her on our side? She has not shown any capabilities other than not dying. She has no strength to wield a weapon and is incapable of not falling on the ground when sneaking. She doesn’t seem that bright from what I have seen. The only benefit of her being here is that she is not being used by the enemy.” 

“Cullen, isn’t keeping the enemy from gaining a possibly powerful magic enough to keep her here, with force if necessary?” The Seeker provided.

“Where did she come from?“ The Warden chimed in. 

“She fell out of a rift we closed on the way here.” Varric supplied. “Her clothes were odd and she spoke of another world entirely.” 

“We should believe her? She could be from Tevinter for all we know.” The Commander rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.

“We need to know what she is, and what she is capable of. I am unwilling to have her here if she is not going to cooperate.”  
Solas narrowed his eyes, “Lady Nightingale, are you suggesting we should violate what little trust we have when we could gain so much more with patience?”

Vivienne spoke, “Solas has more sway over the girl than he thinks.” The room turned to the Enchantress who had been watching the conversation with interest. “She is enamored with him.” 

Solas furrowed his brow in confusion. Youth always placed sex as the first motive for any friendly relationship. “I have shown her the Fade and taken care of her belongings for an evening or two. While we have a friendship, I do not believe she has had time or the will to develop an attachment beyond that.” The woman tutted at his words.

“Solas, my dear, you are an attractive man, barring you wardrobe. Half the female elven population of Haven would be at your beck and call should you so desire it.”

“You are very popular among the scouts.” The Herald added this with a stiff voice. He heard the Ambassador and the Spy Master **giggle**. He resisted the urge to put his face in his palm.

“We are getting off the issue.” The Commander pointed out.

“Chuckles and I will speak with her-“

“Tonight?” The Nightingale queried with an authoritative tone.

“Tomorrow.” 

“There is much more to discuss, but it is past midnight. I am tired and wish to sleep.” The Herald announced. More than two seconded and the group stood to leave. 

“Iron Bull, might I have a word?” Solas stopped the mercenary.

“Sure.” An eyebrow arched above an eyepatch.

The two exited the tavern together. “I will walk with you to the gates; it is not too far from my destination.”

“What did you need Solas?”

“Amber is missing an item. It is a strange device that produces music. Might you or one of your Chargers happen to know where it might be located?” He did not look up at the tall man, only kept a steady pace.

“This device may or may not have been located.”

“Returning it would be wise. She was rather attached to it. The fears of your men may be assuaged should they let her know it was protected. Though she is hardly dangerous.”

“Funny thing, it might be enchanted. How would a device like that be enchanted, her not being a mage and all” The Qunari’s tone told Solas he suspected him. 

“Your battle axe is enchanted. Many of those who do not possess magic benefit from it.”

“Yeah but I hear the signature is familiar to a mage who is in the Inquisition. I talked to the Nightingale about that; a mage not reporting enchanted items.”

“From what I understand, the Nightingale has not inquired about the girl’s possessions since that time. If a mage helped her to fix any broken possessions they would be sure to report the information the next time the Nightingale requested the information. As such, the item is better off in the hands of the person it belongs to.” He would have to deal with the Spy Master tomorrow. 

“I will make sure it makes its way back to where it belongs.” The mercenary strode through the gate. Solas watched him go and then turned to head back to Varric’s cabin. He brushed his Aura up against her own, and found her asleep.

He walked back slowly pondering the woman. She had been through a lot. Their conversations about her world lead him to believe she had lead an easy life but her reactions to the things that had happened to her boasted a life frequented by strife. Varric's information about her, that she had called herself an 'enforcer,' was something he would speak with her about that night. He needed to acquire enough information from her that he could come up with an adequate answer for the Inquisition; and hide the value of her knowledge and world if at all possible. The fact that she was attached to him was definitely in his favor and he would attempt to keep things that way. 

All the knowledge she had did not explain her immortality or her regenerative abilities. Those puzzle pieces were not fitting into place. Nor did he understand why she only responded to his magic. This also would work in his favor, but still needed an explanation. He let his eyes wander to the Breach. The answers to those questions would possibly be arriving with the tribe of Viras Elgar'vhen'an in a week. The Breach would be closed and safe for them to dwell in this area of the Fade. Hopefully he would find the answers to the questions he had about her before Corypheus gathered his strength for an assault on Haven. 

He thought of the lives lost thus far in the wake of his mistake. Luckily they were nothing but intelligent animals. His conscious would weigh heavier than it already did if they were People. The only life that mattered at this point was Amber's. She was the only person there and he would do his best to keep her safe. He breathed the night air deeply and strode up to the dwarf's cabin. He would check on her and then head back to his own cabin to find her in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all! Once again for all of the Kudos. The comments are encouraging and appreciated as always.
> 
> This Chapter was a bit difficult. Questions and concerns are welcome and encouraged.


	19. Chapter 19

Amber stood outside the gates of Haven. She was on the beach of the frozen lake staring across it. She had a thick stick in one hand and a rock in the other. She tossed up the rock and swung the stick as it came back down. She missed and picked it up again. Toss, swing, miss. Toss, swing, miss. She hit it every once in a while, it would not go very far, but far enough she would bend down and retrieve another one from the pile in front of her and start over. 

She had started shortly after she had woken this morning. She had a few things to think about. The Iron Bull had her player and said he was going to give it back to her. She was angry that he had it in the first place. One of the Chargers had probably taken it off her while she was ‘dead.’ She didn’t know them and they killed people for money which was arguably not a dishonest or bad thing here. But the thing that bothered her most was that the red head would probably get a look at it first. _Good luck Solas._ She swung and hit it. It went a bit further than she would have thought. A smile played at her lips and she bent down to try again. 

As she worked on her swing she listened to the sounds of Haven in the morning. The clanking of the soldiers’ swords and shields near the tree line. The sound of hammers at the blacksmith’s complimented them with a steady beat. The sound of the horses and other creatures Harold had acquired added a little bit of a melody. “Jesus. I need my music.” She swung and the rock went flying out across the lake. 

Her mind turned to her discussion with Solas the previous evening. Last night had been informative, frustrating, and almost over her head. He had come to her as she sat staring at the dream Fade she conjured. 

He had informed her that the Chargers were probably in possession of her player. He then went on to comment on her fascination with the Fade. They talked about that a while before she showed him other objects from her world: a computer, a blender, a refrigerator, a toilet. She had tried to put together an entire room but that had only hurt her. Just a few objects were all she could manage. She could touch and show him each of the items and how they worked. But he was still unable to touch them. Each time he became a little bit more frustrated. He didn’t make noises or anything he just got that look in his eye that told her he was working things out. 

She had asked him if the things in the Fade could only be touched by the dreamers who thought them up. He had told her most could not touch the things in the Fade. She had pondered whether or not they were real. Expecting a no he had surprised her by claiming they were. This had confused her immensely. 

#################################################################### 

“But you can’t touch any of it? Why can I?” He smiled at that and motioned to one of the rocks for her to sit and she did. 

“I was able to do so in my youth. It takes great a deal of power.” She raised her brows and opened her mouth, but he continued before she could ask what he meant. “You may also do so using a large amount of lyrium.” 

“Lyrium’s that blue glowy stuff mages drink. Kind of like a mana potion?” 

“It is a mana potion.” 

“You keep saying I am not a mage though?” 

“I do not believe you are. Though, I cannot deny that you share certain qualities that mages inherently have.” 

“Like what?” He began to pace in front of her as he explained crossing his arms and gesturing every once in a while for emphasis. 

“Your Aura. Only mages have auras large enough to notice and manipulate.” 

“How can you tell if someone is a mage?” 

“The same way I found out you have an Aura. I was able to feel yours as you are able to feel mine.” 

“But what about the other mages in Haven? I can’t really feel them like I feel you.” 

“The mages of this age are not able to extend their auras away from their physical selves for very long; managing only enough to cast short lived spells. The physical self, acts as a shield or container. Without the will to actually penetrate a physical body you will not sense them.” 

“What about longer spells? Ones that heal over time, or create a barrier maybe? Do they exist?” 

“For those, the mage has to train to extend their essence for long periods of time. They are more difficult and need years of training to master. When in use they will set aside a small amount of will power to keep it going. The act of extending the aura out from the body for such periods consumes extra mana on top of the mana needed for the spells.” 

“What?” 

“They have learned to expend mana to extend their Aura over longer periods of time.” 

“Oh.” 

“Why are we different?” 

“Our Auras are naturally extended. I am not sure why yours had receded but the natural state of a person’s Aura is extended outwards from the self, allowing outward awareness.” 

“Hunh.” She looked from him and sat silently to ponder that a short while. “What does that have to do with you not being able to touch things like I can again?” She scrunched her nose as she spoke. 

He smiled, “A great deal of power is needed to manifest things in the fade enough to touch them. The Fade is where all magic comes from and an Aura is one’s connection to the fade. Mana is the tangible substance that is pulled from the Fade.” 

“So the bigger the aura, the bigger the connection, the more mana available.” She was more confident in her understanding. 

“Essentially, yes.” He seemed please she understood. 

“Why can’t I do magic?” She watched his face which had only softened. 

“I have some people traveling here to test out the theory I have hypothesized. But I fear it will refute your own claim of another world.” He said the last part carefully. 

“What do you mean?” She was definitely alarmed. “I know where I came from.” 

“I have no doubt you believe that. But-“He began. 

“I don’t just believe, Solas. I know.” She became defensive at his insinuation and stood, stepping towards him as she spoke. Tears welled up with her emotions. “I have memories to prove it. You have seen the stuff I showed you!” She could feel the Bubble inside her rising quickly. 

“Calm yourself Da’len.” His voice was smooth and he stepped up to her resting a hand on her shoulder. Gently he guided her to sit again as she wiped the few tears that had escaped away and calmed. “It is only a hypothesis. I do believe you; I am only trying to find an explanation for your presence in Thedas. We must have a base in order to start our research.” His voice was soothing and she could hear a smile as she plucked at the frayed edges of her hoodie. 

“How are you touching me?” She sniffled. 

“Our conscious is our Aura. We can feel each other like we can feel our Auras in the Waking.” He pulled his hand away and turned back to the Breach. 

“The morning is coming do you have any questions before we wake?” 

“Not that I can think of right now.” She looked up to him as she spoke wiping her nose on her sleeve out of habit. He winced at the action and she blushed looking away and wiping it again on her pants leg. “Can you tell me about something from this world? I showed you TV and computers and a toilet. Is there anything cool you can show me?” 

He pondered a moment grasping his chin with his right hand while supporting it with his left arm across his chest. She looked up at him again and he was contemplating something, something serious from the look on his face. “I will show you a memory I have seen from the days of Arlathan.” He reached for her hand and she took it. 

“A memory?” 

“Yes.” The scene around them changed. Amber swayed and clamped onto Solas’ arm as the scene of colors whirled around them. She felt rather than heard his chuckle and shot a glare up to his face. He gave her a rye smirk, “It seems I was correct in delaying your introduction to one of the Fade’s most wonderful attributes.” The colors slowed and moved into a different scene. 

Despite her nausea she gaped at the splendor before her. She released Solas’ arm as she took in the large empty hall of columns. It wasn’t just large it was ginormous. Light came from nowhere illuminating every nook and cranny of the elaborate ceilings. Walls at an almost impossible distance away held enormous golden murals depicting elves fighting and building, casting spells and judgements. “It’s like the room with the Balrog in the Mines of Moria!” She shouted and spun in a circle stretching out her arms. To her delight the sound echoed out into the vast space. 

“Where?” Solas asked amused at her behavior. 

“Well maybe not that big.” She conceded as she finished her frolic and returned. 

“Where are the... Mines of Moria did you say? And what is a Balrog?” He asked bemused inspecting their surroundings as if for the first time. 

“They are in a mountain in Middle Earth, a land from a story back home. The Balrog is, I think anyway, a demon that drove the dwarves of Moria out.” She explained gazing fondly at the more elegant columns. 

“You wound me, my lady.” She snapped her head back concerned, but then registered the levity in his voice. “These are the Halls of Mythal.” Pride filled his rich voice as he swept his arm out in a kingly manner and hundreds of thousands, if not millions or billions, of precious metals and jewels meticulously placed in their positions on walls, ceilings, and columns twinkled as if at his command. The dark polished marble like floors reflected the lights to make her feel as if she stood among stars trapped in a building. She was awestruck again at the room’s magnificence. “No durgen’len construct could even fathom this splendor!” He turned back to her with a cocky smile on his face as she stared at their surroundings. “But this is not what I wished to show you. Come Da’len!” He reached out his hand towards her and she took it. 

As they moved through the hall she marveled at it, but was always stealing glances at his face when she felt he wouldn’t notice. The pride he felt in this place had lifted years away; he looked young and untroubled for the moment. It made her heart lighter and she squeezed his hand a bit as they moved toward a wall depicting a dragon flying through the night sky in more precious metals and jewels. As they approached she noticed a small crowd gathered near a raised platform. This is where they were headed. 

As they approached Amber could hear them speaking in Elvhen. Solas walked through the bodies as if they were not their and she tried to follow but bumped into the man she had tried to pass through. He didn’t react to her. “Da’len?” 

“Coming!” She wove her way through the crowd and when she came out the other side Solas stood beside a beautiful Elvhen woman. She had long blond hair that reached her calves even held up in the elegant way it was. Her evening gown clung to her as if a second skin and was a deep magenta that looked almost blood red. Amber looked around at the crowd. They were all dressed formally but most not as extravagant as the woman’s. As she inspected the Elves around her, her eyes passed over a familiar set of blue greys near the back of the crowd. She narrowed her own but before she could register his facial features Solas got her attention. 

“Da’len, look here.” He motioned to a dais where a black orb rested on a velvet cloth. 

She stepped forward and inspected it. It was a ball, a heavy looking ball just smaller than a bowling ball. There were grooves that reminded her of a finger print but otherwise unremarkable. “What is it?” 

“This is a foci. The Ancient Elvhen used them to channel their power. Some, like this one, where dedicated to the gods of the Elvhen Pantheon.” 

“Cool.” She was not as impressed as she thought she should be and felt a little bad. 

He chuckled and she looked back to him, “I know it is not as impressive as the room dedicated to house it, but it is an amazing device.” His eyes returned to the orb and she watched as the years returned to his features. The levity replaced by a seriousness that sent a chill down her spine. 

“May I ask you a question that might be stupid Solas?” As he looked up at her, his face gained its familiar neutrality. He nodded. 

“Why did you show me this? I showed you stupid things. I expected magic tubs or something.” She looked away and flushed red as she asked, realizing the rudeness and stupidity of her question. 

He chuckled again. “I did not find them to be a waste of time.” His voice encouraged her to look back up at him. He caught her eye and gave her a reassuring smile “I am not certain why I showed you this.” His eyes moved back to the orb. “I suppose it is because this is a significant object from the past. Those objects you showed me were marvels of your world, this is one from mine.” A sadness filled his voice then. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me Solas. I may not understand it, but I do appreciate it.” She offered still very red. 

He looked to her once again and held her eyes for a long moment. “You’re welcome Amber.” The scene around them swirled again and Amber lurched along with her stomach towards Solas. 

The Raw Fade whirled back into focus. Solas’ smile as she apologized was a sad one but sincere and he bent down and kissed her head. Amber felt her face heat up and she looked away. “I will be speaking with Leliana today about what duties you will take on. Do you have any preferences?” He helped her steady herself and released her. 

“No recruits?” She tried to smile but the nausea was palpable. “I don’t think I like the memories I feel sick.” 

“You become used to it the more you experience it.” He had regained a little of the levity from before. “I will try to pick out something that will suit you.” 

“Ok Solas, I trust you.” Her smile was the last thing he saw as she woke. 

############################################################### 

The rock pile she now sat beside was a foot smaller than when she had started. She had sweat pouring down her face. What little dignity she had left was the only thing keeping her from running her face along the ice beneath her. She watched as Varric walked towards her with a blonde man she had never seen before.


	20. Chapter 20

They walked at the dwarf’s pace. Wind blew the hair that had escaped from her pony tail across her face. The cold air was refreshing as she watched them walk forward. She pulled her hood up and her eyes met the blonde’s, which were an unsettling light blue. She registered he had already locked them on her own and felt a shiver go up her spine. He was dangerous, but she didn’t feel any fear. On the contrary she found him quite interesting. 

She let her eyes rove over him. He had athletic legs that belied his lanky form; he would be a quick runner. Strong shoulders and arms; could probably do well in hand to hand combat. He was lithe and he moved quietly with confidence. She thought that he might not make sound if he ran. If she was to chase him down he… The thought stopped her. She moved her eyes to the ice in front of her. _What the hell am I thinking!? I can’t even chase down a kid let alone a full grown man._ She cringed at the thought, it brought back a memory she loathed and she cast her eyes back to the man in question to avoid her thoughts about the past. 

He looked about twenty or twenty one. The leathers he wore were worn in and moved, again, without noise. She locked eyes with him again suddenly aware of the deep frown on his face. His eyes bore into hers searching for… something. About ten feet in front of her the blonde stopped dead, Varric had started to move on but hesitated when he noticed the other had halted. He gave his companion a confused look, “What’s up Kid? You wanted to speak with her.“ He tugged on the Blondie’s arm but when he didn’t respond he turned back to Amber. “Hey Pech what are you doing out here by yourself? You know you make Curly nervous when you don’t have an escort.”

She had risen and dusted snow and moisture from her pants, she looked to him with a rye smile. “He can see me from here. Besides the red head has me under constant surveillance.“ She waved vaguely in the direction of the sounds of clattering metal. 

“Surveillance? Oh! You mean she’s having you tailed.” Amber gave him a ‘duh’ look. “I already know. EVERYONE knows. She practically put on a speech that you were not just wandering around after the tavern incident.”

“No wonder everyone is avoiding me. The bar wench lady person won’t let me in there anymore. People stare at me when I walk down the street making some sort of sign at me.” She put her stick between her legs and held her hands like she was holding it upside down in front of her chest and then made a downward motion. “What is that?”

He had cringed at her description of the bartender, “Flissa’s not bad enough to be called a wench, Pech.” He chided lightly. “They are invoking the Sword of Mercy to strike down evil.” He chuckled at the thought. 

“It’s stupid.” Her eyes brightened a moment. “Yesterday I started convulsing and fell to the ground when one of the Chantry nuns did it.” Amber began laughing at that. “Hoooh boy! You should have seen her face. It was great! I heard some people cuss and most of them ran. A guy said something about Templars so I took off and hid in the cabin for about an hour.”

“Chantry nones?” 

“Right! Nuns. It’s what we call the women from home that dedicate themselves to God.” She reached down to the pile of stones still at her feet and grabbed one. She turned and tossed it into the air swung as it came down and missed. 

He smiled at her and sighed. “You know doing stuff like that’s not going to help you any.”

“I don’t think anything will help at this point. So why not?” She shrugged and sighed rubbing her forehead.

“You do realize if they think you are too dangerous they will do something about it?”

“What more could they do? I know they have more important things to do than worry about me but it’s not like I can go anywhere else really. I have no idea where here is. I don’t know what else to do Varric.” He just looked at her contemplating the situation a few moments as she resumed hitting rocks with a stick.

“How’d you sleep last night? Any nightmares?” She could hear the concern he tried to hide. He walked up beside her and watched as she tossed another rock and swung, but stepped out of the way when he was almost hit.

“Sorry!” She reached out to him but he waved her off.

“You didn’t get me. Nightmares?”

“No, no nightmares. Just the Fade.” She was thankful for the lack of bad dreams. She had worried about it, but had been able to fall asleep well enough. The time before Solas had joined her had been nice, but she needed to figure out how he could uncover the Raw Fade. That memory thing would be interesting too if not for the nausea. She resumed her activity before asking, “Who’s your friend?”

“Ah, this is Cole. Cole come say hi to Amber.” She could hear the smile in his voice.

“Running, falling, always alone after they were gone. Then a dream that wasn’t a dream. ” She stopped when the quiet voice spoke. She heard something in his words; something different… they moved through her mind and stirred something deeper than even the Bubble she used to hold her negative emotions. “Rage burning just below the surface, always bubbling ready to strike out and below it, the truth. Envy and hate to give drive and power.” It was… unsettling. She turned and the man was watching her. His eyes had moved to her fist that clenched at the stick, the rock had fallen forgotten on the ground.

She was having trouble with her control. She could feel her body begin to tremble in her attempt to subdue her emotions. She heard Varric’s voice from far away. “Ah, so…. What are you doing out here Pech?“ He was trying to distract her and she let him.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and turned away from Blondie to gather herself. “Playing a game.” She stated hoping to close the matter. She bent over and picked up the rock, swung and hit it. The rock flew about ten yards away. _Creepy man. I need my music._

“Aww, don’t be like that, what game?” His eyes followed her movements.

“Base-“

“OH!” She turned, startled at the suddenly bright and cheerful voice from Blondie. Varric looked back a little amused. “I know where it is!” He disappeared.

Amber felt her face drain of color and her eyes widen. She looked around trying to figure out where he went, a sudden thought had her stiffen. She turned around slowly as if he might be behind her. Varric laughed and she shot him a glare. “He just disappeared!” She rubbed her forehead suddenly feeling tired.

“Ha, apparently the Kid can do that. Weird and a little unsettling but you get used to it eventually… I think. Most everyone is convinced he’s a mage but Chuckles is leaning towards demon.” He turned to look toward Haven.

“Demon?! He looks like a human being!” She looked at him her face paling slightly at the thought. _Could they be right? If he is…?_

Varric laughed at her reaction, “I guess Chuckles would call him a spirit.” She looked back to the dwarf.

“Where’d he go?” She was still on edge.

He laughed more, heartily. She hadn’t heard him laugh like that before and she relaxed a little. “I don’t know, but I bet he is going to get whatever _it_ is. He likes to help people.” After a moment, “It’s weird that you find him odd when you can survive an arrow to the head.”

“I don’t just disappear into nothing. I am just lucky.”

“Is that what you call it?”

Amber grumbled at that and turned to pick up her rock again. “Maybe unlucky? I just hope he doesn’t come back here. I don’t need any more company.”

“Sure you do. It will help keep your mind off the other day and help you get to know people.”

“I know you and Solas. I don’t need to know anyone else.” She said definitively and he sighed. She swung at the rock falling down and she clipped it sending it over Varric’s head. He barely dodged it.

Keeping the smile in his voice he added, “We can’t keep an eye on you all the time Amber. We have things that we need to get done. Besides, you need to socialize. You spent a lot of time alone back home right, or did you have friends?”

Amber stood and rubbed her forehead again in frustration distinctly reminded that she was a childish burden on the only two people she cared to know. She really didn’t want to think about home either. She sighed, “Point number one: I am a grown woman Varric. I don’t need a babysitter. Point number two: What am I supposed to do? Every time I leave the house people avoid me and whisper about me in front of me. I tried to go back to the laundry house. You know that, but Miss Rasha was too nervous when I showed up. She laughed! Laughed! And it wasn’t a funny ‘ha ha’ laugh, she was afraid of me. The others just stared at me and when I looked at them they looked away real quick. None of them looked me in the eye. So I left… I don’t belong here.” She looked at the Breach _If only I could go there everything would be better._ Silence followed for a short time. 

“If you avoid life, it will pass you by.” Varric put a hand on her shoulder she turned and met his eyes. “I don’t know where you came from Pech but you’re here now. We don’t really have the luxury to let you find yourself right now, but we are willing to give you a place to try and live. When we get things sorted out you’ll have that time. Maybe we can help you find a way home. ” His smile was warm and she gave him her sad half smile thankful he was such a good person. “One good thing is your luck is so bad it’s entertaining.” He gave her a wink and then added, “When you don’t think about the details anyway.” She snorted at that and the other half of her mouth rose. “There we go, think more positively.” He claps her shoulder then turns to her pile of rocks. “Now what game are you playing again?”

She let her eyes slide back to linger on the Breach a breath or two. “Baseball.” As she turned to face the dwarf her eye caught the huge figure of The Iron Bull walking towards their location with a small group of people. She let her lips curl in distaste. Blondie was leading them; she could see his mouth moving as the group moved forward.

“Oh look, here comes Tiny!” Her sneer turned to a snort.

“Tiny? How the hell is he a Tiny?” Her face scrunched in amusement at the thought. It made her remember an old Bugs Bunny cartoon for some reason. “I will hug him, and squeeze him, and pet him, and call him George.” She mimed petting the rabbit in her fist really hard and laughed. The dwarf looked confused at her bad joke but laughed anyway. She smiled genuinely at him, “Remind me to tell you about cartoons one day Varric.”

He continued to chuckle with a confused look on his face. “Ok? You do have a pretty smile though Pech.” She blushed a bit and looked away. The group of people strode up to them then and the smile fell away. The Chargers were eyeing her, but she didn’t meet any of their eyes and quickly looked away to pick up another rock. She turned to resume her earlier activity and listened as the others spoke.

“Hey Varric!” He gave the dwarf a big smile.

“Hey Tiny! You were what the Kid was looking for?” 

“Not The Iron Bull. He has what she wants.” Blondie stated standing and staring at her from about ten feet away. “My name is Cole.” 

“We already know that Kid.” Varric sounded confused.

“She wasn’t paying attention and forgot.” Amber felt her face flush. 

“Do I have what she wants?” The Iron Bull interjected, his voice was deep and playful. Amber could feel his eye lock on her.

“Music numbs the pain. Makes the memories go away. But it’s not real? You aren’t what you think you are.” Amber stiffened at that and felt a spike of anger. She didn’t like Cole very much he said too much, too many things that confused her. She threw the rock and watched it come down, she swung and it arched about twenty yards.

“If you have my player I want it back.” She said and knocked the tip of the stick on the ice without turning round. There was a pause the wind whistled over the frozen lake.

“And if I don’t?” She could hear the raised brow.

“Have it, or give it back?” Tossed another rock, swung, and missed. 

“Either.” She paused after he said this. After a few moments contemplating the end of the stick she turned and planted it on the ground using it as a cane to lean on. She gave him a tough, smug, and condescending smile that faded as her eyes had to travel up higher than she had anticipated. She swallowed and her face paled a little as he had moved closer to her five foot four self. She hadn’t heard him move. 

She picked up the stick and turned back to the frozen lake, panicked a little on the inside. He chuckled having obviously sensed her badly disguised freak out. Amber took a deep breath and picked up another rock going through the motions and tried to concentrate on focusing her fear that was quickly morphing into anger. Her mind was reeling. _He is a giant man. A giant man, who could crush me with one hand. He has horns and a giant sword. Didn’t someone say something about him ‘cleaving a man in two’? AAAAAAhH! MUSIC!_ “I just need one song.” She pleaded to the sky. Those behind her barely caught her words.

She took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders as one popped into her head at random. “You’ll never know how much I really love you, you’ll never know how much I really care…” She began singing as she swung and knocked the rock almost halfway across the lake. The Beatles were as good as anything right now. She continued for a short while she ignored the clanking of armor behind her.

“What are you-“ He had been cut off by a loud noise coming from his pocket, which had startled him. She heard some of the others jump and curse but then her ear caught the music. It was at the exact point in the song she was. Weapons were drawn.

She turned and dropped her stick; “…Do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell…”, as The Iron Bull fumbled in his pouch; and stepped forward as he stared wide eyed at the small black object in his large palm. She continued singing with George and slipped the player from his hand. The face was lit up and showed the clock blinking zeros with a kitten sleeping next to a puppy in the back ground. She quickly unlocked the screen. Her hands trembled as the relief of having it back in her own flooded her. 

The people around her were on guard. Varric had apparently given up on being surprised and just watched instead. He took everything in carefully.

The icons were exactly as they should have been. Her fingers trembled as she paused the song. She pulled it to her chest and hugged the device. The vague sense of how odd she was acting flitted through her mind when she remembered her head phones and quickly dug them from her pocket.

The incident in the tavern had severed the cords, and she had painstakingly pieced them back together and stretched what little rubber she had cut from the wires back over the twisted repairs with leather strings tied as tight as she could make them. She walked as she slipped the jack into the port and shoved it down her hoodie into her pants pocket. Her fingers moved on their own to resume the song. Haven’s gates were a bustle of movement as she took a deep breath and trudged forward intent on curling up on the cot in Varric’s house. 

A hand clasped her shoulder and she jumped. The movement popped one of her ear buds out and her hood fell back. She looked back to find a big grey wall in front of her. Her black ringed, light green eyes traveled up to his face and she paled again at his massive form.

“Where are you going?” His voice was still amused.

“Wh- What?” She was genuinely confused until her mind went back over the events that had just occurred not moments before. She closed her eyes and shook her head to clear it a bit before meeting the cyclops’ again.

“Did you forget about us?” His eye narrowed at her. 

She just stared up into his eye a moment, Metallica began to sing, _So close no matter how far…_

“Yes.”

“How about we get you a drink and you can tell us about your little… thing there.” His face showed nothing.

“No thanks.” She moved to turn but he gripped her shoulder a bit harder.

“Solas is taking some flack for not informing the Spy Master about it.” Amber visibly winced at that and her anger towards the Nightingale increased. _I keep causing him problems. How am I ever going to repay him?_

"You think a soul is repayment enough?” She mumbled to herself. If she had kept eye contact she would have seen a question flash across his face at hearing her.

“Hey Pech let’s get something to eat. Tiny’s treat.” Varric stepped from behind the giant man. Her eyes shifted to the dwarf.

“Where? The wench doesn’t want me in the tavern.”

“FlISSA won’t mind if you’re with us. You need to relax and get a lot of this stuff off your chest.” He countered. She held his gaze for a moment then looked back to The Iron Bull.

“I will talk with you Varric but I don’t want to have to answer a lot of questions or talk about crap I am not ready to talk about. I know where loyalties lie.” The Iron Bull gave her an amused look. She didn’t like him much either.

Flissa gave her a dirty look as they walked through. Varric, heading off the trouble, took her aside and began talking with her. Amber ignored the two as best she could. She looked around the tavern it was empty so early in the morning. 

She took a seat near the west wall, the Iron Bull sat catty corner from her. The Chargers had gone to spar with the soldiers. Cole went… away from her. She didn’t say anything and just sat there studiously avoiding his eye. She fidgeted and focused on her music. Leonard Cohen sang about what Everybody Knows and she mouthed the words.

“What are you singing?” He asked.

“Leonard Cohen.”

“And earlier?”

“The Beatles.”

“Music from where you’re from?” She turned her narrowed eyes to him, though still intimidating, it was easier to stay calm when he was seated.

“I thought I said I didn’t want to answer a lot of questions.”

“You said that to Varric.” 

“Oh wow. You’re so smart. Taking things literally. It’s no wonder you’re so popular.” He laughed at her dead voice when Varric showed up. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“She is different. I like her. Now we just need to change her attitude a bit.”

“Yep, maybe that will help her luck some.” Varric sat a mug in front of her and the bartender sat a larger mug in front of The Iron Bull. She stared at it and then at her own.

“It’s not even noon.” She looked at Varric who sipped from his own mug.

“Yeah, little bit late for a drink these days.” Bull murmured agreement and the men clanked their tankards together.

“Can I have water?”

“We are waiting for the supply lines to send fresh water up this way.”

“There’s a lake right there.” She motioned in the general direction said lake  
the large mug toward her. She pointed at him accusingly.

“You are trying to get me drunk again!”

“That may be, but the supply is low and the soldiers do better with water.”

“What about you ‘Inner Circle’ people? Harold needs you guys at your best.” She made the quotes with her fingers.

“We save that for the road.” The Iron Bull provided. “When we’re at base it’s better to relax.”

“I don’t like this. I don’t know if you,” she pointed at the Qunari “are considered an authority here. You answer to the red head right?”

“Nope, my boss, is the elf with the green glowing hand.”

“That’s not much better.” She didn’t like this situation. She may not be at home but she didn’t like the suspicious situation she found herself in. She really wanted to keep her promise and had already relaxed her standards at Solas’ request.

“Pech, how about you tell us about what kind of music you like?” She narrowed her eyes trying to think about whether or not that was a breach of her promise. _It’s just music._ Maybe if she was careful and didn’t drink too much it would be alright.

“What kind of music do you have here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Is that,” she motioned to the bard who had begun to play her instrument when they had entered. “all you have here?”

“There are different kinds of instruments. And the style will vary from country to country. Do you NOT have different kinds of music?” 

“Right, different kinds of music are different from different places. At home, people from all parts of the world come to my country to live life the way  
they want to. They bring their own traditional music; and over the past two hundred years they have blended together and now we have many different genres.” They both kept silent for a few moments.

“What is your favorite genre?” The Iron Bull asked.

“All different types.” She brightened and smiled. “When we were on the lake the song that came on was a classic by one of the BEST bands ever, The Beatles. B-e-a-t not B-e-e-t.” At their encouraging looks she went on to explain music from earth, she became more relaxed as they asked more questions. Metal, folk, pop, punk, classic rock. She went into the sub genres the evolution of music in the United States and the sweep of modern music across her world. She had been drinking from the mug from the first moment she felt her mouth dry. The tavern filled as the day moved on.

At one point they had requested she show them some of it but she had decided too many people were around. So they lightly prodded her toward more personal information when she would say things about her brothers. She didn’t notice the sunlight changing outside the windows.

“An’ then my brothers took me to a turn-a-ment in Souttthhh America.” She scrunched her nose up trying to remember, her voice slurred greatly. “We got to hear a Spanish ska band on the side of the ssssstreet in the capital. Which iz weird becauz the rollin’ r’s in Spanish sounds weird… don’t you think?” She let her hand flail while she motioned towards the Iron Bull and took a big drink.

“What kind of tournament?” Varric slid in.

“They like to call it ‘gladiator’, ‘We’re gladiators Alice.’” She let her voice go deep to mimic Jason’s voice. “I jus’ knew they fought guys with their bare hands and got money for it.”

“Who’s Alice, Pech?”

“Tha’s my middle name, Ammber Allliccccce Arrgentah.”

“They must have been good at fighting?” The Iron Bull goaded

“Yeah… I never really got to watch them. They would bring me along… but I had to stay away from the arena, mostly in the hotels. They talked Mr. Wright into training me to take care of the fighters, be a enforcer… but I wasn’t very good at it. They gave Wright the boot and starded trainin’ me perzonalllyyy. Still wasn’ good at it, though.” They were very fascinated by this mundane stuff.

“You told me you watched the fights and directed them.” Varric offered.

“Supposed to learn that after all the health ssstuff…”Her eyes drooped as she thought, “I ran away ‘fore then. I was learnin’ how to judge a fighters health when I found the letter.” Her face dropped. _That was the worst day of my life._

“Why the worst day?”

“I found Darren’s letter to my mom that day. That started it...” She took another drink and finished the mug off she regarded it critically then decided she wanted another. “Can I have another?” She looked back up at Varric, the world spun slightly. He was staring at her intently. She became confused as to why, but Bull pulled her attention away pushing his own mug toward her. She eyed it and pulled it to her lips taking a long drink.

“What was the letter about?” The giant man asked as she drank.

“Darren was sorry he killed my sister.” She didn’t see them exchange glances, just stared into the large tankard in front of her. “He wrote the letter to apol’gize to my mom, said, ‘I know nothin’ I can say or do will change what happen to your daughter, but I will ssssspend the rest of my life tryin’ ta make up for it.’ Went on about teaching people why drugzzz were bad and why they shouldn’t join gangs or some shit.”

“Why was that bad?” She had quit paying attention to who was speaking. 

“When I looked at the date on the envelope I realized it was two months before my brothers took me on vacation to east Texas where Darren lived. I was sixteen, mom had died earlier that year. They got me another tattoo… on my arm that time. I let them pick it out. I let them pick out all my tattoos.” Her voice trembled and she began scratching her arms through her hoodie and let her forehead rest on the table

“What happened when you went on vacation?”

“We stayed for two weeks. They got me my tattoo and then we went home. We had just visited and did some shopping. A few weeks later… the police came by asking questions. When the Authorities questioned my brothers about his death they lied. I knew they were lyin’, deep down anyway, but I hated him as much as they did and wasn’t goin’ to possibly send them to prison for his death. I mean I didn’t really KNOW if they killed him…. Plus the promise.”

The two listening were quiet. Tears had started to fall down her face as she stared at nothing. “I was happy when I found out he was dead…” she laughed through her nose smiling at the floor, “I laughed and we celebrated. When Mr. Wright helped my brothers into the fightin’ world they brought me in too… I saw a lot of bad, bad things happen over those ten years. Bad things. I didn’t mind them then.”

“What kind of bad things?” A sober Varric asked. She didn’t notice the shift in his demeanor. He had become tense.

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. The tears fell, “I am a bad, bad. bad person Varric. I watched many bad things happen and did nothin’. Not a damn thing. That can be as bad as all of the… helping… I did.” She gripped the large mug in front of her and let her thumb trail along the tankards handle.

“You changed didn’t you?” The Iron Bull said.

“As much as anyone can after what I’ve done.” She hefted the large drink up and finished it. “If you guys don’t mind I think I am going to bed.” She stood not looking at them and stumbled out of the tavern. 

She didn’t notice Varric attempt to follow her, or the Iron Bull stopping him. Saying something about letting her deal with it, “We can try another time. She needs to figure it out.” The other patrons who had gathered in the tavern watched her leave. She didn’t notice the bird following her out the door and turn towards the Nest. 

The air was chilled, and when she took a deep breath it fogged out into the twilight. She looked around and in the direction of the Apothecary noticed a familiar bald head speaking with a familiar white head of hair and became angry. Searing jealousy shot through her. _Why is she speaking with him!?_ Again she spoke her thoughts with no notice.

She made to trudge up to the stairs intent on making Harold stop but before she got close enough she felt Solas’ Aura encompass and embrace her. She was too drunk to read his emotions and just stumbled to the wall closest to her. She sat down and put her head between her knees.

The snot draining from her sinuses was making her gag and she worked on clearing it from her throat. She pulled her aura into herself as she gained awareness of the situation she was in. She was embarrassed and ashamed of her jealousy. He was a great person and could speak with whomever he wanted. She wanted more than petty possessiveness; she wanted joy that her friend might be finding love. The thought gripped her heart and twisted. Self-loathing was nothing new. She needed a distraction so she thought back over the day and noticed she was having trouble remembering the conversation she had had with the dwarf and the giant; especially the later in the day it had gotten. 

“Spending the day in the tavern is not productive Da’len.” His bare toes appeared in her peripheral. 

“I know Mr. Wizard.” She was still mostly drunk and her hand fumbled to turn off Breaking Benjamen’s Failure.

“Why did you then?”

“Nothin’ better ta do… and I like that song the bard plays ‘bout the bird’s eyes.”

“Is that so? Are you aware of what that song is about?”

“Mosly no, but I like the melody and the way it starts… after that I tune the lyrics out.” She said looking up into the sky, the moons had risen earlier than usual.

“Would you like to know?” He reached out his hand to help her up.

“Probly not.” Her head bobbed.

“Very well then, it seems you need to go to sleep. I will speak about arrangements that have been made in the morning.” She had taken his hand and let him pull her up, her eyes locked on the Breach when it came into her vision.

“Solas?” 

“Yes, Da’len?”

“Can I go with you when you leave?” He was silent and she turned to face him, her haze clearing in her sudden need to ask. His expression was neutral but his stormy eyes were alive and working.

“Why would you ask that?”

“You’re the only one I can trust. You don’t take advantage of me when I am drunk, or stab me when I don’t answer questions.” She waited for his answer a few moments; fear building in her gut that he would tell her no. 

“Varric helped you drink today?”

“And the giant.”

“Do you know what you said to them?”

“Can’t remember much. Probly too much... I remember talkin’ about Darren’s letter.” He looked askance after she said that.  
“You revealed information about your home? Your past?”

“Yeah… I am pretty sure.” Tears began falling again.

“You may speak with me tonight in the Fade. If you are amenable, I will help you remember and then we can see what it is you told them.” She just nodded and began to cry more. If he was going to be in her memories he might see what she was. _Everyone hates me when they find out who I was._

“Even if you hate me after, can I still leave with you?” She begged a little too loudly clamping his arm with her other hand.

“That is not for a while yet, Da’len. You may change your mind before it is time for me to leave the Inquisition.” His voice was soft and calming. She was afraid to feel his aura- she knew it was there waiting for her to touch. He patted her fist, drawing her attention; it was clenched in his tunic sleeve. She released it quickly and relaxed slightly when she realized she was behaving rudely.

“I’m so sorry.” She choked as she smoothed out his sleeve, but his hands clasped hers and she looked back into his eyes.

“ _Vallas atisha_ , Amber. Be at peace. The past is unchangeable. You can only move forward and attempt to mend what mistakes you have made.”

She felt despair grip her, “I-I-I can’t fix them here Solas.” Her crying turned to drunken sobs and her knees buckled. She clenched his hands again. When her knees hit the ground she released his hands and wrapped them around his thighs burying her face in his stomach and sobbing. “Why am I always crying Solas?” She felt his muscles stiffen beneath her as she spoke, but was too upset to worry about his rejection now.

His hands began to pet her hair and after a few moments a wave of fatigue gripped her. She relaxed her tight grip and fell to the ground asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. I have had someone kind enough to beta read for me. (Immerghensi) I want to do well so I figured two heads are better than one.
> 
> Immerghensi writes quite well. She has an original story I thought was interesting. And if you like One Direction or Supernatural she has a piece or two you might like.
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/Immerghensi/pseuds/Immerghensi/works
> 
>  
> 
> FenxShiral has credit for the elvhen. I hope i didn't butcher it too much. 
> 
> Comment, questions, concerns are welcome and encouraged, always.


	21. Chapter 21

Her body was limp as Solas lifted her from the ground. “Is she alright?” The dwarf asked stopping near him. 

“Inebriated, taken advantage of, and still not truly coping with the stress she has been under, but otherwise unharmed.” He stated sternly as he turned away from the dwarf. Her face was soft and free of the turmoil she had been in just moments before. The Child of Stone had the decency to look abashed.

“I thought she would feel better after talking… She needs to get it out. It usually works.” 

He turned his head to look at the shorter creature. “Well-meaning or not, you cannot force her to face the things she wishes to run from. You must only encourage her to move forward and in time she will face what ails her. She may not have the experience to deal with what has happened to her as of yet.”

“She isn’t moving forward Chuckles, and she’s what? Twenty-eight or Twenty-nine? And from what I have gathered she definitely has the experience to deal with what she is going through. She feels trapped here and not doing anything to better her situation. She needs to find a goal to work towards, in the least. If we can just reason with her-” 

“Master Tethras, encouraging her to become inebriated and then questioning her about things she wishes not to share is not reasoning with her, it is coercive interrogation.” He turned back around fully to address the dwarf. Amber shifted in his grip and nuzzled her face into his chest.

“We need to know about her, and why she’s here. I like her, but like the dwarf said, she needs to talk.” The Iron Bull said from a shadow to their right. 

“You assume she wishes to be here? After everything that has happened, she wishes to be as far from Haven and the Inquisition as possible. She fell from a rift, presumably from another world. One that from what I have been told and shown is vastly different from our own.“ The others didn’t need to know any more than that for now.

“She has shown you her world?” The Iron Bull now extremely interested.

“Pieces of it, not akin to the book device. She has not been able to reproduce a full memory.”

“You mean she shows you half a memory?“ The Child of Stone chuckled at the idea.

“Pieces. Objects from where she once resided.”

“Like what?” 

“I am not in a position to go into a lengthy description of objects or their uses on which I have only basic understanding, Master Tethras. Now, if you would kindly remember, I have someone who needs to be in bed.” He lifted the sleeping girl to emphasize his need to move on.

“You need any help with her? You’ve been holding her a while.” The Iron Bull bounced up from his position against the wall and moved to take her from him. 

Solas backed up the steps and turned away, shielding her from the giant’s grasp, as he spoke. “I am quite capable of carrying a woman for a short distance. Thank you.” Bull’s gaze was hard on his back.

“Chuckles my cabin is the other way.”

“I have a feeling waking up in the bed of a man who got her drunk to get information from her would not sit well. She can sleep in my cabin tonight and you may apologize in the morning. I will come by and pick up her bag in a short while.”

“Are you going to be able to pick it up? Krem said that ward packs a nice punch.” The Iron Bull stated. Solas heard something in his voice, speculation on his abilities no doubt.

“I have no need to fear my own magic.” He was at the top of the stairs and did not wait for them to respond before striding forward the few dwellings to his own cabin.

He paused only a moment to shift his hand to grab the handle and push the door open releasing his ward at the same moment. She was lighter than the last time he had felt her weight, but more solid. He shut the door behind him with his foot and strode to the bed in the cabin commandeered for him.

“Da’len I have not had to care of someone like this in a very long while.” He said it softly as he laid her in the bed. Faded and fragmented memories ghosted across the back of his mind. Memories so ancient, he could not remember them as coherent thought here in the Waking; only emotion welled up, annoyance and kinship strongest of all. The nostalgia made him smile down at her. She was not a mystery, a simple puzzle. She was a person a being with potential, young of mind and soul. Her physical age was difficult to determine, but that question would be remedied soon.

Her chestnut hair was as tangled as it ever was, and he gently brushed strands of it stuck to her dirty tear stained face. She was lost, so very lost, another unintended victim of his folly. Her story was plausible, to a point. His mind reached back to days he spent reading and discussing theories of space and time when he was young. He had debated a few times of the possibilities of other dimensions or worlds not his own. He chuckled darkly to himself remembrance of the moment he had conceived the idea of the Veil. His officers had looked at him in horror when he relayed the option to them. 

He covered her with a blanket and watched as she curled into a tight ball. She breathed the scent in the fabric deeply. A small content smile formed on her dirt smeared mouth. It was beautiful to watch and he continued to smile down at her.  
She was young; even if she dated back to the raising of the Veil. Her mind was not a deep font of knowledge, nor a well she sought to fill. The world simply was. She took it for its worth in the Waking. And she saw it as lacking as he did. 

Varric had been right about her in ability to move forward. Solas could see it all too well, every time she stared forlornly at the Breach, in the way her almost wild eyes searched the vast expanse of the Fade. She loved that world. A passion he never saw here awakening there. Even her enthusiasm for her own world paled in comparison to her love of the Fade. Which only leant more evidence to her being one of the Viras Elgar’ven’an. Those who chose to walk the Fade forever in the face of the Veil. 

He needed to confirm his suspicions about her. The Fade Walkers were here. Just on the other side. It would take a significant amount of his magic to allow her to see them, but it would be worth it. It was already worth it. Her very presence awoke his memories of them, and most of them venerated him in some form or fashion. They would be excellent allies after Veil Fall. Should he return her home, she would be out of harm’s way. 

She may not welcome meeting the tribe. He was most likely correct in his assumption of her origins, but he did not want to get ahead of himself. He had jumped to conclusions too quickly in recent memory and was loath to do so again.

The Elder Magl had said to bring her that evening. It would be difficult as she was now, but she would be slightly less inebriated in the Fade. She might take learning her memories are of a different nature than she realized better in her current state of mind. He turned and pulled on his coat. 

The nights in Haven were growing colder and it was still imperative he hide the actual size of his mana pools. Wasting even a little mana on warming would do him no favors. He strode toward the door eager to return quickly. He heard her mumble something and turned back to catch it to no avail. _She only shifted in her sleep._

He needed to hurry before they found her on their own and reacted without his presence. He stepped outside the door and found the Child of Stone leaning against the house across the way. The mage paused. “Master Tethras I seem to remember implying I would come to you.” 

“No worries, Chuckles. I thought we could walk there together.” The dwarf pushed off the wall and motioned for him to go first. Solas pulled the door closed and placed a ward on it. He strode forward at a pace the dwarf would be able to keep up with. The silence was not long.

“Chuckles, do you really think she is from another world?”

“It is possible, but my recent findings might have a different explanation.”

“…and those are?”

“Still in the process of being researched. If you will remember, I am also tasked with acquiring memories of recent rifts we might not find outside of the Fade. As well as any indication of the mages that evacuated Redcliff. That takes precedence at the moment.” 

“You must have more, Chuckles.” 

“As I said before, I am not fond of conjecture without a firm base.” The dwarf huffed in annoyance. “If it helps, I do have promising leads.”

“See now there’s some information. What might your leads be?”

“Nothing to elaborate on at this time.” 

“Anything to do with that Avvar tale you told us?”

“That is a good question.”

“And one you can’t answer right now…” They had arrived at his door and he opened it stepping inside. 

Solas followed scanning the room for Amber’s pack. “All good things come in time. Patience is a hard won virtue.” He was amused at the irony of his statement.

“It’s under the bed Chuckles. She stashes it there ‘to keep it out of the way.’” He sat at the small table covered in journals and parchment. The Inquisition used his business skills to their maximum potential. “By the way, that ward is pretty powerful. Did you pick it up in the Fade?”

“I have acquired a large amount of knowledge in the Fade. Are you still working on the negotiations with Ambassador Montilyet?” Solas asked as he retrieved the pack.

“Going over the final drafts. Did you know nug leather is becoming popular among Antivan nobles?”

Solas made a face at that. “That does not seem likely.” 

“Ruffles and I had a long discussion on the nug trade. She let slip her sister is trying to acquire ‘rare’ nug skin boots for a bastard. Can you believe that?! Five thousand gold for nug skin boots no enchantment. Said it was all the rage in Antiva City. I still don’t think I believe her. But she isn’t one to lie about things like that. Do you really think the nobles are that…” He floundered his hands a moment. _He is actually searching for a word._ Solas smirked to himself and moved toward the door.

“I believe the appropriate term in that situation would be foolish.” 

“I suppose.” He rubbed the back of his neck and his face as he gave the paperwork a grimace. He smiled up at Solas, “Have a good night Chuckles.” Solas opened the door nodded to the dwarf and stepped out. 

He made his way quickly across the town and into his cabin. She was still curled in a ball breathing deeply in content sleep. He removed his coat setting it on the table, and placed her bag out of the way against the wall. He took a seat in the chair he had requested. It had padding and was the most comfortable chair he had come across in the presence of humans. He sat back and slipped his consciousness across the veil. 

He dreamed of Arlathan’s East side. It was darker than the rest of Arlathan, kept so by Dirthamen’s magics. The man had an obsession with darkness Solas could never truly understand. He took in the street a moment then waved it away with a thought. His next location was her dream. She teetered on a beam shaped edge, obviously still affected by her earlier activities.

“They say you can die if you fall too far Da’len. Even in your dreams.” Amber looked up at his voice and faltered on her step, almost falling. He watched as she balanced and hopped down from her ledge.

“Well I have already fallen once and survived.” She stated a bit too pompously and smiled broadly. “My dear Mr. Wizard, would you kindly whisk me away somewhere over a rainbow?” She chuckled at some inner joke and bounced over to him with her hands behind her back. Her face was clean in her dream, her hair shiny and loose and untangled. She looked more womanly in her dreams; he was sure. Made lovelier with the large joyful grin she only ever wore when in the Fade.

He smirked back. “I can take you wherever you wish to go here Da’len. Although, I had planned on taking you to meet old acquaintances who might be able to shed some light on how you found yourself in Thedas.” 

“Acquaintances?” She said in a flat tone. He nodded. “You mean spirits? _Demons_?” Her eyes widened on the last.

“Not quite. In common they are called Fade Walkers, Viras Elgar’vhen’an in Elvhen. They are descendants of a very old race who helped those of my people who found themselves trapped behind the Veil.” She didn’t respond just looked at him quizzically. “I have been neglectful of informing you of my findings… I suppose an introduction is a good place to start, and you may ask questions of me later whenever we have a free moment to spend together.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and motioned for her to turn around.

He could feel the intake of her breath when he removed her dream and allowed the view of the Raw Fade to settle in. It was truly a sight to behold, especially to one who had not yet seen more than two beings in the Fade.

“Who are they? Spirits?” Her tone was filled with a little trepidation and a hint of awe.  
He let his smile show in his voice, “You are too quick to forget Amber.”

“The Veeras?” She had not taken her eyes from the tribe who camped down on the island below. 

“Viras. And yes this is one of their tribes, or flock as this particular group likes to refer to themselves.” He let his hand rest on her left shoulder as he stepped up next to her.

“Flock?” She had turned back to him with her brow furrowed. He looked into her spring green eyes and noticed a black ring had appeared on the outer edges. He didn’t let his intrigue show. _You, Amber are a wonder._

“Yes, flock. It will become clearer as we speak with them. They are expecting us this evening. I am pleased your earlier activities seem to not be a factor this evening.” He smirked as she shot her face and eyes forward, the top half of her face and the points of her ears blushing heavily. 

“You think they can get me home?” She asked quietly staring down at them. He stared at her a moment gauging what his response should be. Amber would not take well to his hypothesis, but the sooner she knew the sooner she could begin to work it out. He would guide her as best he could. She seemed to think highly of his opinion, and he swore to guide her as best he could.

“I believe they can answer questions about how you came to be here, Da’len. From there we can figure out what you want to do.” She looked up at his answer and he let his face soften slightly showing her his concern. He could see the suspicion bud in her eyes; the question about his lack of an affirmative answer. For a moment they shared the silent look.

“You won’t leave me alone with them, right?” She was lonely.

“I will remain with you until dawn.” She nodded and they made their way down the rapidly appearing staircase. He could see their faces turning to look eyes widening as they made their way steadily downward. His status among them would be apparent, but she might not understand what it meant. He placed his hand on the small of her back and ushered her forward, his favor and protection apparent as they approached the dangerous denizens of the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter but needed. 
> 
> As always comments, questions, concerns.
> 
> Thanks all for reading.


	22. Chapter 22

The view before her was amazing. She had only ever seen Solas in the Fade, now here she was looking down on upwards of a hundred to a hundred and fifty people sprawled out below her. They were spread across a large tract of the Fade’s black land that had apparently been formed from several smaller islands. The murmur of the people below was barely noticeable, even the black birds above cried in quiet tones. She slowed a bit in her decent to take in the sights and sounds.

There were several patchwork tents spread about of varying sizes. The people walked and milled about conversing in various degrees of excitement and lack thereof. Large black birds circled the air above them. She watched as two flew closer to her and Solas. They made a pass well over head and then rounded their way back to the tents below.

“They will notify the Elders of our approach.” Solas spoke softly from beside her.

She followed the birds with her eyes to the people gathered below. The one in the center of the encampment, where the large birds had landed, was the largest and had the largest group of people lounging in front of it. She noticed a flurry of movement as they stood and a few began walking south towards the foot of the stairs. To her left, what she decided was the west, she noticed people doing what looked like skinning or tanning. Loads of the product where being carried to the various dwellings and disappearing inside.

The northern area had a group of people engaging in what seemed to be sparring or fighting; and east had a large area surrounded by a small wall of the black ground, small mounds of earth were scattered about inside it. Three groups of five to ten people were gathered around three separate mounds. She could not see what was going on there but it was a well-guarded area with at least ten guards stationed at intervals around the outside wall.

As her eyes scanned the strange inhabitants and she shivered. She set her gaze on a smaller figure running through large groups being chased by another of similar size. The children were running back and forth awkwardly across the area. One’s gait was terribly erroneous and he limped wildly as he chased his friend. She observed him closely letting her eyes adjust to his distance and movement. She felt the inexplicable urge to bolt after him but pushed it back and continued her steady pace to the foot of the stairs. Soon they were at ground level in front of a gathering crowd.

Amber felt her adrenaline rise as something set her on edge. The elves were whispering to each other and she locked eyes with a child who was watching her intently from behind his father’s legs. His eyes were black pools, no whites at all. His face had weird sharp angles that looked disturbingly avian while retaining the general look of the elves.

She felt her muscles tense, shock consumed her. She scanned the rest of the crowd and noticed they all shared the same facial features, eyes, and the same jet black hair. Ravens, more than she had seen circling above began to land on the two nearest tents and they all seemed to watch what was going on as well.

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck rose and felt her lips pulled back to bare her teeth. Her feet began to shift into a better stance and a rumble sounded quietly in the back of her throat. They stilled and the air around them all tensed. These creatures were dangerous. She didn’t want to go anywhere near them; wary of them as they were of her. She began to slowly shift backwards, and noticed they all watched her movements.

“It’s alright Amber.” Came softly from beside her, cutting through her heart pounding in her ears. She calmed and looked up at him. His steely gaze glinted in amusement. “They will not harm us. I promise.” His lips curled into a smile she had not ever seen on his face before and her mind shifted away from fight or flight; her body straightened out and her muscles relaxed.

Amber took a deep breath and turned back to the crowd. Many of them still watched her intently and she avoided their gazes. This was going to be a very intense visit. The rush of excitement and anxiety had only momentarily cut through the effects of her buzz and she felt the light haze settle back over her mind.

She let her eyes wander over them again and took in their appearances. They wore little clothing over their pale-skinned bodies. There was very little in the way of clothing. She studiously avoided those who wore nothing. The women used their hair as a covering and as a few of them shifted and adjusted in the crowd she noticed their locks moved to cover their bodies to preserve their modesty, as if with magic.

All of them wore their hair long, male and female. She observed a couple of the men wore elaborate hair styles. Braids and dread locks, mostly, and adorned with black feathers and oddly shaped pendants and charms. The women for the most part wore theirs down and plain.

They all had a confidence that radiated from them. She could feel it in the air. It intimidated her and she would have felt a great deal more fear if it were not for the fact that Solas stood beside her. She had definitely noticed all of the looks that went her way. But the majority of these people looked, stared, or glared at Solas.

She turned to look at her friend, to see what they saw, only to find him watching her curiously. Her eyes widened in surprise and she leaned in and whispered, “Why are you staring at me?”

“I am not staring. I am observing.” She winced at his normal volume and flushed.

“What are-“ She whispered loudly, but was interrupted by a flurry of movement from the crowd.

The crowd parted quickly as two taller elves walked forward. Dressed in clothes that reminded her of Merlin’s attire, and like every other bit of fabric here their clothes were varying shades of leather brown.

They strode to about fifteen feet away from Solas and bowed low, noticeably averted their black eyes to the ground and greeted them in a strange language. Solas greeted them in return, folding his hands just below the small of his back and inclined his head, not in a bow as the others had but in an acknowledgement of their action.

The elves straightened only after Solas’ greeting and stepped forward speaking to him and observing her. The one addressing him motioned to his colleague and the other, a woman.

“Amber I would like you to meet Elder Magl and Elder Hihn.” 

With a nod, “Nice to meet you.” Solas began speaking rapidly to the two after that and they gave a few glances in her direction. She waited patiently until the woman stepped up to her.

“What?” The woman gave a delighted and curious smile when she spoke. Her eyes, deep black orbs stared, into Amber’s own. She had just enough time to notice that a dark brown iris rested hidden inside the black when the woman looked to Solas and asked him something. He shook his head and spoke in an authoritative manner he rarely held in front of people; but seemed to fit him better than his usual humble demeanor. At Solas words the man stepped back and directed them in the direction he had come from. 

“This way Da’len.” He gave her a small half smile and motioned for her to move. She hesitated and looked at the new arrivals. They watched her intently. She could feel her hackles begin to rise and her deep bubble of negative emotions began to stir. 

Something shifted in their faces, the placid looks they were giving her turned into slight frowns and the woman stepped toward her again. Amber’s eyes shot to the dark chocolate surrounded by black. She moved to step back when Solas cleared his throat. The two women startled. The taller one only slightly as she stepped back. Amber gave a noticeable jump and moved closer to Solas. He placed his hand on her shoulder and they began moving forward. 

The two men’s strides were long and she had to step quickly to keep up with Solas. She could fell the woman’s eyes on her back as they moved along and it unsettled her deep inside. Her hand unconsciously grabbed onto his shirt when she stumbled on the loose dirt below her feet 

The childish action garnered amused reactions from the crowd that seemed intent on keeping up with the group. _Small town life…_ She mused to herself and quickly released the shirt, blushed, glanced up to see if he disapproved; but he had not even looked back at her. She sighed and stayed as close to him as possible, without touching him.

The trip was blessedly quick and they entered a large open area. Amber stopped berating herself for acting like a child and took in the even larger group gathered here. Her spine stiffened as she locked her eyes on what she presumed was their destination. A large circular bench had been erected in the center. 

The bench was made of the Fade rocks and was spaced at several intervals to allow easy access to the center. She looked to the crowd around the outside of the bench and sucked in a breath. It looked as if the entire encampment had arrived. She stepped closer to Solas as the four of them stepped inside of the circle. About eight other elves stood from their seats when they entered. These too wore the robes and bowed low to Solas moving their gazes downward. Solas greeted them all in the same manner as the other two and moved toward the center of the circle. He placed his hand at the small of her back encouraging her to stay with him. _This is insane!_ She wanted to ask Solas what was going on but was trying very hard to calm her breathing. 

We shouldn’t be here. These people are dangerous and…. Wrong! They were not right. She just knew it instinctively and nothing any of them could say would demure her from this notion. The only reason she was even still there was because she trusted Solas would not lead her into danger without telling her first. Her body stepped closer into Solas and she felt him shift to look down at her. She didn’t dare take her eyes off of the creatures before her though. The group of ten had been speaking in low tones and nodding toward the pair of them. They suddenly all looked behind them and began to step back to allow someone else through.

A gravelly voice punctured the silence that had fallen on the odd scene. It was low and amused and reminded her of the whispered words Solas had used to comfort her after he removed the arrow from her head. 

Solas answered in an odd tone as a decrepit looking old man stepped forward. He was ancient. A black stubble adorned his head and his black eyes were squinted with age. The angles of his face were similar to Solas’ and glaringly different to his clansmen. He hobbled up to them and leaned on a staff that toward over him. It had a pale pink color with a clawed hand holding a dark stone at the top. His clothes were made of black feathers and she could almost hear them rustle in the silence of the Fade 

Her body reacted automatically and stepped back in revulsion as he approached. Her fist twisted into Solas’ tunic, tightly winding her fingers to keep from running. The tense emotions inside her began to boil up. She needed and wanted desperately for them to leave this place. She heard herself emit a low growl from her throat.

The ancient elf chuckled and his eyes gleamed cruelly when they fell on her. He spoke in that proud old man’s tone as if he looked at something beneath him. Solas’ tone pulled her eyes to him. His voice was low and dangerous. She felt a sliver of fear creep into her at it. The two that had escorted them turned white at the sound and she heard a few hisses come from the others around them. The old elf’s eyes widened and she thought for a split second the fear that had passed through her had visited his face. He huffed and motioned them to follow and resumed speaking in an adjusted manner that gave of the air of boredom.

Amber felt a hand on her fist as she watched the elder limp forward on his staff. She turned and found Solas’ long fingers removing her own from his shirt and she looked up into his face as he continued.

“I understand the anxiety you feel Da’len, but you are going to tear my tunic off if you are not careful. “ His patience showed in his voice and she relaxed her fingers enough that his shirt fell free. Her mouth floundered as her physical reactions caught up with her consciousness and she flushed again. “The Raven will be able examine you more fully than I. The Veil is thin in Haven, and he is an expert at healing and investigative magics. His experience with your situation is far more likely to be in his realm of expertise than my own.”

“Will he be able to send me home?” She asked quietly turning her gaze onto the old man’s back still moving slowly away.

“No,” she deflated slightly at his honest answer. “As I stated he is an expert in healing and investigation, though he may have insight into your unique abilities.” Her heart lightened a bit at this second part and she sighed. Solas began following the Raven to the large tent in front of them and Amber followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was difficult. And shorter than I wanted hope it was all right. I apologie for the long gap I am working on a better schedule right now. More to come soon. 
> 
> As always thanks for reading. Thanks for the kudos. And thanks Immerghensi for your hard work:)
> 
> As always questions, comments, concerns are welcome and encouraged.


	23. Chapter 23

The dim light of the tent didn’t hinder any of those who walked in through the flap. Amber looked around and noticed trinkets of carved bone that hung from the ceiling at irregular intervals. On the ground, mounds of black rock and sand were spaced out randomly around an empty center, each with indentations in them. A few of those random people who had followed them into the tent nestled into some of these ‘chairs,’ and adjusted themselves so they could watch whatever it was that was going to happen. 

The Raven, the old man, moved forward and a large block of rock rose in the empty space. It stopped rising when it reached his waist. He turned and looked Amber in the eyes motioning for her to sit on the sarcophagi shaped rock formation and said something she had no hope of understanding.

“He will not harm you Amber. Should he even try, he will not succeed.” His voice was at a normal volume and held confident authority. Her ringed, light green eyes looked to Solas and back to the table before them. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand and her flesh prickled with the idea of allowing them to have her in that vulnerable position. She met eyes with the Raven again. He held his aged and smug face high and waited impatiently for her to lie down. 

Her steps were slow and deliberate, and she watched all those around her warily as she laid face up on the rock. Solas stepped around the stone slab into her line of sight and the Raven remained near her lower torso. Solas’ lilting voice was contemplative as he looked to the Raven; whose face morphed into annoyance and indignation.

The feather covered mage responded tersely. The two quipped at each other testily for a few moments, until Solas used the other tone again. That cold tone, the one that commanded and brooked no argument. The fear she felt before only ghosted through her mind this time, her attention was briefly caught on the other occupants as they tensed and stilled. She watched the two men stare each other down. The Raven looked away first and spoke loud enough for those seated around them to hear. She listened to them stand and walk quietly out of the tent. Those who had been introduced to Amber as Elders were the only ones who remained. 

Solas spoke again, and with a snarky mumble under his breath the Raven looked down to Amber. He examined her hoodie and motioned for her to take it off as he did so. She sat up and, keeping her eyes on him, pulled it off. Solas chuckled, “You are in the Fade you need not remove it as if you were awake.” 

Her eyes drifted over the others in the tent. They seemed disturbed at Solas’ reaction but they said nothing, made no sound. She watched silently as they stared at him in a small amount of awe. She felt she could understand their reaction to him, and though she thought he was a pretty amazing person, she hardly knew anything about him. She quietly moved her hoodie underneath her head and when she lay down again she found it hadn’t really made a difference in her comfort level, it was the Fade after all. 

The old man tutted and handed his staff off to one of the others. His black eyes widened and she watched as his, instead of dark chocolate, red flecked irises began to glow. He placed his hands on both of her shoulders and pressed her firmly into the stone table.

Amber’s muscles tensed and she shifted her gaze to Solas who stood expectantly at her side. His eyes intent on what the other man was doing. She watched him stare at her chest, a heat rising in her she glanced back to the older gentleman and fought the flush rising on her face. The old man sneered slightly but hadn’t moved or looked away from his work. He looked strained and as if he was performing a very difficult task. After a short while a sweat broke out on his brow, which was a weird situation and she was becoming very uncomfortable. _This is stupid nothing is happening_ She opened her mouth to voice her thoughts but something began to seep into her skin.

It didn’t hurt, but it was an odd sharpness, something like a knife slipping into a hot loaf of bread to see if it’s done in the middle before pulling it from the oven. No pain and after the feeling moved straight into her shoulders it spread… _no, **reached**_ into her chest cavity. Her eyes tore away from the sweating brow of the feather covered mage and moved to her own person. She sucked in a breath when, wherever the sharpness slowly climbed its way across her chest cavity, pale white glowing symbols began to light up. 

“What the fuck is that?” She whispered to no one.

“One would presume the source of your unique circumstances.” Solas answered. Her eyes shot back to him and she found his following the spread of the glowing lights down her torso. He had stepped flush against the stone and was reaching toward her when a quiet grunt sounded from her right. Both she and Solas looked to the Raven, who was backing away from the table and gasping for air as he mumbled under his breath. The other leaders of his people moved to assist him into one of the mounds. They all looked very concerned. She turned back to Solas who had narrowed his eyes while taking in the other man’s words. 

She sat up and looked back to her own body, the glow still brightly shined from under her tunic; which she hastily removed to get a better look at the glow that went all the way down past her waist line. Her bra covered a good deal but she could see enough that it unsettled her. Strings of something similar to Arabic were scrawled across her body. She could make out only miniscule breaks in between sections, as if whoever put them there wasted no space. She felt a dread build up in her stomach because whatever these markings were, they were not a good sign. She was about to ask Solas for help when his slender and firm fingers griped her shoulder and pushed her back down on the table. 

She looked to his eyes. They moved back and forth over the symbols **reading** them. His fingers deftly pulled the straps of her bra off her shoulders and made to remove her front-clasp bra. She felt her breath hitch and heartbeat quicken at the thought, but moved quickly to cover her chest. She looked back up to Solas through her eye lashes. 

He had moved on from the action before she had even looked up. His eyes scanned her smooth stomach and fingers splayed as if to smooth out a paper to read it more clearly. He was unshaken by his unconscious attempt to expose her. She looked away more disappointed than she knew she should be, landing her eyes on her fore arm. She was halfway about to ask if she could put her shirt back on when she noticed that her tattoos were gone. And in their place were silver wisps of more of the writing. 

A sharp bark of a noise left her mouth and everyone but Solas jumped as she suddenly tried to sit up. She combed her eyes over every inch of her arms in disbelief. “They’re gone!” She breathed incredulously as she looked to Solas for confirmation.

“It is the Fade Da’len. You can make them disappear whenever you like here.” His voice held a small amount of amusement before he cleared his throat to bring her out of her astonishment. 

“There are more of the squiggles too.” This had him grasping her arm and staring intently. He voiced a question to the old mage. She looked at him as he stood and walked near. His bony sharp fingers grasped her wrist and roughly pulled her arm up to inspect it more closely. She grunted and tried to puller her arm away. Solas spoke absentmindedly from his position and the old man quipped back. He began speaking again it sounded like he was making speculations. He abruptly stopped during what sounded like a statement and she felt him tense. A little while later the sharpness from before spread through her arm and her dropped her arm like it was on fire. 

The old man spoke to the elders and most of them turned and stared at her with hard looks. The Raven’s gravelly voice sounded certain and cold with his next statement. She shivered at his nonsense words and felt a seriousness cover the room. 

Solas spoke again, to himself, in what sounded like Elvhen. She recognized a word or two, unlike with what the others spoke. His eyes captured hers and she noticed a sadness settle deep inside them. The old elf spoke to Solas sharply, the latter responded matter-of-factly.

“What is it?” She asked quietly.

At her question Solas shook his head slightly as if to shrug something off and then in a clear voice pronounced something to the group who visibly paled. They nodded, slowly, and began to, one at a time, move from the tent. Solas waved his hand and she was clothed again. He wordlessly offered his hand to help her from the table and the two of them made their way outside. The Raven called after them and Amber turned to see a familiar hate filled look directed at her. His words made the other Fade Walkers stiffen and stare. 

Solas had paid him no attention and was quickly escorting her from the camp sight. Amber grew more nervous with each glance at the growing number of nervous faces. She looked around and finally noticed what was wrong with this place: One, there were no fires. Not one. And Two, it all smelled the same. The scents in the Fade had not changed at all. The wrongness of the situation washed over her again. 

The ascent was swift and the stairs fell away after they stepped up. When they reached the top he spoke. “Amber, what did you tell Varric and the Iron Bull about your life?”

She was taken aback by his abrupt question and her mind reeled to the far off memory that had taken place just that evening. “I-I-I…” a deep breath and sigh, “Something about music and then it gets fuzzy. And then I remember mentioning Darren and a little bit about the training I was going through...?” She let her eyes scan his face her brows furrowed, “What has this got to do with what just happened?” All her uneasiness for the flock had disappeared with the last step of the staircase.

“May I?” He moved into her personal space and placed his hands in the air above her temples. His eyes were intense as they searched for her permission.

She could only nod, her confusion and his proximity left her speechless. He clasped his hands into loose fists and rested them against her temples. She felt a warm yellow glow move through her head and the scene shifted around her. As the smeared colors caught back up with them, Solas stepped away to observe the tavern as it came into focus. The Iron Bull and Varric were seated before them and Amber watched as they plied her with drinks and encouraged her to talk more. 

She watched as her other self began to speak of her brothers, the drunken explanation of her position with the organization, and then her confession about Darren. Her face paled at her confession and the way the two reacted. She followed herself out the door and felt humiliation at her obvious jealousy toward Harold. She did not turn to Solas, only closed her eyes when the memory shifted back to the image of the raw Fade.

“You truly believe you came from a different world?” She stopped breathing at his question. He was obviously ignoring her jealousy and it twisted her gut. She took a deep breath and tried to hide the tears she felt rising. 

“How could I not? I lived my life Solas.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. He positioned her to face him again. His eyes were more grey than blue, and in this light she saw tinges of red casting a slight purple tint.

“May I see one of the memories you have from your home?” His eyes were intense as they stared into her own. She didn’t know how to react and took a deep breath to clear her mind. She closed her eyes.

“Haven’t we tried this before? I have only ever been able to pull up objects and pictures. Never a full memory like you do.” She felt her frustration build. 

“Da’len, I am very adept at manipulating the Fade. Some would say there is no person who could match my understanding of its nature. May I attempt to pull one up as I did with this last memory?” He had no pleading in his voice. She could discern nothing of his emotions from his tone. Her eyes held his for a long moment. 

She knew she trusted him more than she had anyone else, at least excluding her brothers. She was loath for him to pull up one of her older memories; almost mortified at the thought of him pulling up memories, sorting through them all. Solas knew something he was not telling her, she was certain of it. Especially after what had just happened; she narrowed her eyes at the thought. “What does the glowing writing say?” 

“I will tell you but I need to confirm one last thing.” He stepped back.

“Tonight? Not after we wake up?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” She let out a heavy breath and closed her eyes. She only knew he had moved when she felt the familiar sensation of his magic ghost over her mind in the yellow glow. She revealed for a moment in the feel of it and allowed a memory of the first real taste of his magic to glance over her consciousness. Her cheeks heated up as her body remembered the sensation from that morning as she waited for him to finish. It went on longer than before, and for every extended moment a dull ache began to grow out from her temples. So she opened her eyes… and sucked in a breath, all thought expunged.

His face was only inches from her own, just above her eye line with his eyes closed and brow slightly furrowed in his effort. She let her eyes take in the details of his face. First his strong chin. His dimple, one of his more prominent features. Then the sharp angles of his jaw line moved back and upwards before a sharp rise to his wonderfully pointed ears. Her eyes traveled up toward his smooth scalp. _Never has stubble in the slightest._ His thin brows perpendicular to his broad nose bridge. Her heart began to speed up as she realized small freckles dusted his nose and high cheek bones. Her eyes trailed down to his lips, which were slightly pressed together but still had a soft quality to their appearance. She was seized with the need to see what they felt like. _He is elven in all its glory._ Her only thought as she let herself lean into him.

Just before she felt his lips with her own a sharp pain bolted between her temples and she cried out cracking her head against his nose. She stepped back and grabbed her head. 

“Are you alright?!” He was concerned.

“Yeah… It just hurts.” She was bowed over cupping her forehead.

A light chuckle made her shoot him a harsh look. “It only hurts because you let it Amber.”

“Yeah… Well… It hurt when you did what you just did to my brain… What happened?”

“I pushed more power into recalling one of your memories than I should have. It had an undesired affect.” 

She stood and eyed him carefully before she spoke, a sinking feeling welled up inside her. “What does that mean?”

His face smoothed from its gently amused state and then after a moment he seemed to decide to let her see his regret. “It means your memories are not what you thought. I cannot find anything that matches what you have described.”

She froze at his words. _Aren’t what I thought? Can’t find them?_ “What are you saying? That they’re not real!? That I made them up!?” She snapped her sharp tone accusatory.

“No Da’len they are not.” He said it simply and sorrowfully.

“Wh-… That…” She looked away from him and blinked back tears. She focused on the Battleship that lay just over the horizon. Her thoughts began to drift to her brothers. Their laugh as they would tease her. The way they would defend her when she got in trouble with their parents and the management. The sorrow she felt when she lost Anna. Her life before Anna died. A typical American family. Her life after she decided to leave her brothers. She hadn’t wanted her guilty conscious to turn them in so she ran. Her thought turned to Brian, she felt her gut twist. He had been a good friend, had obviously felt something for her. She just let the memories solidify in her mind. _They are real._ Her inner voice spoke quietly with confidence.

She noticed Solas had stepped into her periphery. She stood straight and he stared at the Battleship with her, his hands clasped behind his back comfortably. He is wrong about this.

“I am certain of this Amber.” She closed her eyes and felt pain well up inside. She felt her anger Bubble out. She hadn’t notice it rise up inside and had no control over her temper at this point.

“You’re wrong!” She shouted out to the Fade and woke up.

She was disoriented for a moment as she realized she was not in Varric’s cabin. She got her bearings together and got out of the bed. She ignored Solas as he opened his eyes and watched her storm out of his cabin. She blinked in the sun light and the chill in the air brought her breath up short. She trudged down the cabin lined street and seethed as she made her way across Haven. 

As she passed the front gates a commotion caused her to halt and her incoherent angry thoughts stopped abruptly. A large group of armored men stood just outside the open gate. She examined them and saw a sword with wings etched into the front of the armor. They wore skirts and their helmets reminded her of the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, only silver not black. 

“Someone’s gonna pay for this!” The gate guard shouted angrily at the men.

“It’s _just_ a flesh wound!” One of the armored men shouted back as he removed his helmet and pushed the guard.

Something snapped inside of her at that. The tension from drinking and sharing too much, the stuff that had just happened in the Fade, all of it… brushed away at the thought that that had actually just happened. 

She felt herself snicker at first and it turned into a mad giggle grabbing the attention of those passing by. It quickly morphed into a loud guffaw and she didn’t notice she had gathered the attention of those at the gate. Nor did she see the Nightingale step up to the ledge behind her as she lost her footing and fell to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments, concerns, and questions welcome.
> 
> Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
> 
> 11/23/2016: edit


	24. Chapter 24

“What is it you find so amusing Miss Argent?”

Amber’s laughing stopped abruptly and her eyes snapped opened only to lock with the Nightingale’s. For a few moments she had to gather her thoughts back together. It wouldn’t be any good if she got pulled into a conversation with the Spy Master. The woman’s light blue eyes had an edge Amber didn’t like. It felt like she was being skinned as she lay there under her sharp gaze. 

So she hurriedly broke eye contact, got up and dusted herself off. The woman began speaking but she tuned it out and studiously avoided looking back at her. In doing so, she found that the men who had been arguing at the gate had all taken notice of her. Her spine straightened as the gate guard scowled something to the knights she couldn’t hear. The few who hadn’t been paying attention suddenly turned to look at her while those who had become interested in her outburst frowned intensely. They all seemed to straighten and begin to walk forward.

Amber took this as the best moment to get out of the area. She turned toward Varric’s cabin and rushed off ignoring the pressure of the eyes on her back. For a few moments she was sure she heard the clanking of armor take off after her, but the sound never did catch up as she opened the door to the dwarf’s cabin.

Varric was still asleep. His moderate snores sounded from beneath his pillow. She stared at his lumpy form dejectedly and moved forward quietly. The dwarf had pried extensively last night and learned some things she would rather not have shared, but there wasn’t anything she could really do about it now. She had more troubling things to avoid thinking about at that point. 

She quietly kneeled next to his bed and leaned over to look for her bag. _God damn it!_ “It’s not here.” She whined under her breath. Her knees shifted as she sat back up and watched as Varric snorted and rolled away from her. She began to chew on the inside of her lip and looked around the room. Her bag wasn’t in his cabin. Only two people could have moved it, which meant she would have to go all the way back to Solas’ cabin. 

Amber took a deep breath and released her frustration through her nose and closed her eye tight. She rubbed her eyes with her palms and willed her life to get easier. She sighed again and decided to get back to reality. Her eyes landed on Varric’s chest-of-drawers. She hesitated only a moment and stood quietly. Inside was, surprisingly, a sweater that wasn’t a button down. She held it up to her and found it would be long in the sleeve and would only show her belly if she raised her hands above her head.

Amber changed quickly and took a deep breath. It had a pleasantly masculine smell mixed strongly with machinist oil and tinge of pine. She wished it smelled like someone else. She bundled her own dirty tunic into a ball and looked around for her hoodie. She had distinctly remembered pulling it off but it wasn’t anywhere. A small ball of panic began to build as she remembered what Solas had said. Her hurried search knocked over a pot of ink and a chair. 

“Whaa?” Varric slurred as he was roused from her noise. He was waking and she didn’t know if she could really deal with the aftermath of the situation the night before. In her panicked state she didn’t know what to do so she took off out the door. As quietly as possible, she shut the door and moved away from the cabin as quickly as her feet would let her without drawing attention. 

The panic left as she walked through the cold air. She wandered around the small town of Haven as slowly as possible not wanting to make her way back to Solas’ too quickly. He might not make her talk about what had happened in the Fade, but she didn’t know what to think about it all, or how to act around him at that particular point. As she strode down the street and hugged herself, she cursed her inability to cope with everything that had been going on. “This place is insane.” She mumbled under her breath as her eyes slid to the Breach. Its familiar hum in her ears grew when her eyes rested on it and helped clear her mind. It was soothing and almost eliminated the anxiety of the situation around her.

Her eyes remained on the Breach as she moved unconsciously through Haven. She, again, contemplated how long it would take to find one of the other rifts she had heard about from eaves dropping on conversations between soldiers, scouts, and those who had moved to Haven to assist the Inquisition. One to three days to make it to the Hinterlands, or Highever, or whatever it had been called. She was pretty sure she had overheard a returning requisitions scout say something about there being a few rifts left in that area. She began to go over a few things she might take with her on the journey when she heard a loud yell. Her attention swiftly came back to the present when she noticed a living nightmare marching straight for her: the Spy Master flanked by four of those armored knights. She attempted a change of direction to escape. 

“Miss Argent, I suggest you remain where you are.” Her cold French accent called across the clearing in front of the Nest and made Amber shiver and root to the spot. The woman had no warmth in her tone. As they approached, Amber felt her Aura begin to itch. She pulled it closer to herself and watched as the bad dream continued.

“This is Miss Amber Argent. She is a… person of interest to the Inquisition.” The tall red head eyed her but spoke to the knights behind her. She clasped her hands behind her back comfortably and gave off an aura of intimidation and superiority.

“She is a guest, Leliana.” Harold stepped up from their right. All eyes turned on her. The knights stiffened and almost bowed to the young white haired elf.

The Spy Master pursed her lips and corrected her statement before continuing, “She has an ability we are unable to explain and thought we might introduce you. Your Order may have come across a person of similar abilities in the past. And from what I am told by Ser Barris, you four are the most adept at pinpointing a mage’s abilities.” The group looked back at Amber who had gone rigid. The four eyes her speculatively. The itchiness intensified and she shivered as she pulled her aura into herself. Her skin seemed to act as a buffer to whatever it was that made her itch.

Amber cleared her mind with a shake catching the gaze of the elderly knight who scratched his stubble with a shaking hand. She went over the words of the Nightingale in her head as she observed the others. The woman had golden blonde hair and wore it short like a man’s. Her caramel eyes were warm as they examined her. The other two were young men, no more than twenty-five from Amber’s guess. She was noting their brown and black hair, their similarly blue eyes, idly going of the odds of their being related when she registered the bird bitch’s implication.

“You are just telling people about that stuff now!?” She gritted through her teeth flushed from her slow up take. 

“The Inquisition is in the midst of finding out what happened at the Conclave while, at the same time, helping those affected by the war.” One of the knights looked ground ward at that. “Any information that might help us further that cause is necessary.”

“We are not going to do anything drastic today.” Harold tried to emphasis as she shot the woman a firm glance. “An introduction to these four Templars was the goal of the meeting you missed this morning.” She smiled kindly at Amber who scowled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t hear about any meeting.” 

“Solas didn’t tell you?” The tall one mused. Amber hesitated. She had been drunk the night before and Solas had said they would discuss what he had talked about with the Advisor in the morning… _this_ morning. But she had left abruptly after what he had told her in the Fade. Why hadn’t he discussed it then? She sighed deeply, _I wouldn’t have remembered anyway._

“He didn’t get the opportunity to tell me last night.” She let her eyes settle back on the Breach and knew she could only take the blame in this situation. Her stupid decisions had led to this.

“You slept in his cabin last night, did you not?” The Nightingale said with a tone bathed with tolerance while shooting a glance to Harold. Amber really hated that woman’s French accent. 

“I was not in a state to discuss anything important last night.” She retorted and glared hard at the woman.

“I thought you were sleeping in Varric’s cabin?” Harold’s quiet and slightly alarmed voice broke building tension. A quiet moment settled over the group when they looked at her. She was looking at Amber with something in her eyes Amber had always enjoyed in others before with satisfaction: a slight hint of envy. Amber felt a smug smile begin to pull on her lips when the Spy Master interrupted.

“Miss Argent. If you will follow me we will have Knight Morris and his companions examine you.” She motioned toward the Chantry. Amber, alarmed, looked over her left shoulder and found the Chantry. 

“I would prefer to do this outside, thanks.” She looked back to the group. “And with Solas.”

“Solas is doing some research in the Fade at the moment and is aware you are with the Harold and I for the moment.” The woman looked at her pointedly and Amber gave her a dirty look before she turned toward the Chantry. With the last few moments the Breach was in view, she held onto its image like a prayer.

She trudged through the doors and was directed to one in the main chamber she had not noticed before. It was on the indented wall on the same side as the stairs leading down to the dungeon, just the other side of the fancy mage’s curtained room. The Spy Master held the door open revealing a table and chairs. Inside there was a small stove with a small brick chimney leading up into the ceiling. The others filed in behind her and shut the door.

“I have already described to you the circumstances with which Miss Argent has arrived at the Inquisition.” The soldiers all nodded at this. “I would like you to perform a regular search on her person for magic. 

“Are we looking for anything in particular Lady Nightingale?” The woman’s voice was hoarse from years of abuse.

“Anything you feel is particularly different or similar to a regular mage.”

Amber, who had been eyeing the bowl of what looked to be fruit on the table, hadn’t gotten any warning in the short pause following the fowl woman’s statement. A neon blue, foreign, and artificial entity shoved its way into her Aura, which she held just beneath her skin. Pain shot through her body as a muffled voice exclaimed its surprise. Her Aura began to shrivel and she felt like she was leaking from her nose, ears, and mouth. The ground, now suddenly under her knees, felt cool when her hand touched it. She lay down pressing her cheek to the rough stone and began wiping whatever was on her face away.

She looked at her hand and nothing was on it. She looked up to find Harold’s concerned face hovering over her and saying something grabbled and unintelligible; halves of words. Her brows knit together in confusion and she let her eyes wander around the room where she could see blurred movements. One of the knights lay on the ground shaking. Odd noises and shouts filled the room. Amber felt her body being shifted about. A familiar face bent over her and placed long fingers on her forehead.

“-len…. –len.” She tried to focus on his face but she couldn’t, even when the long fingers tapped at her temples. She felt a shift in altitude, and soon after the rough wood of the table under her. Shiny silver entered her line of vision and strong fingers dug into her arm, hoisting her torso upward to a seated position. The blur was not just the people but everything nothing was clear. Her eyes roamed the room as her mind grasped at anything. All coherent thought escaped just as she was about to grasp it with her mind. And then someone pulled out a brilliant glowing neon blue object. 

Her mind cleared and she sat still, mesmerized as it was brought up to her lips. She reached up and helped tip the glass vile as the liquid poured down her throat. She immediately regretted it. While the world cleared and the blurs reformed the room around her the inside of her body began to twist. The liquid was pushed back out through her mouth. She didn’t it throw up… it just _came up_ with no effort and dribbled out of her mouth. She labored for every breath and bowed in half as a wave of pain rippled through her body.  
Hazed light green eyes passed over Harold and the red head. They landed on the side of the face of the only one she felt she could trust. 

“I… am…. dying.” She breathed out wetly and with effort. He now had flecks of neon blue on the side of his face and neck. His face shot to hers and immediately he began examining her, clearly concerned

“ _Fenedis_ ” He turned away and spoke to someone else. “Get me some water.” Amber felt drunk and wobbled a little as she let her head swing wherever gravity wanted. Another wave of pain radiated out from her stomach and throat causing her body to cramp. 

“Someone get an elfroot potion! She is having an allergic reaction to the lyrium!” The armor-clad woman beside her fiddled with something at her belt as the youngest one of the knights left the room. “Da’len, can you hear me?” Her eyes had shifted to Harold and her purple armor clad bitch of a friend. She watched as they and the other knight attempted to feed the Templar on the floor a glowing neon red liquid. She watched as they massaged the unconscious person’s throat to get him to drink.

“Purple… Bitch…” she managed to get out spitting more of the blue over everything with another onslaught of pain. The woman in question turned and narrowed her eyes at Amber then quickly returned to her work. Everyone else ignored the statement.

“Focus on breathing Amber.” She looked back into his eyes. She inhaled and coughed more of the blue onto everything in front of her. He flinched when more flecks hit his face. 

“It…. hurts… to… breathe…” She said as she looked back up into his eyes.

He only responded by taking the small neon red vile the knight beside her held out to him. The younger knight returned with a bucket of water, but her eyes were locked on the red substance.

“That goblet, there.” Solas instructed over her. And she heard movement and liquid being scooped into something. “Take some water into your mouth and move it around. Do not drink it Da’len.” His long fingers gripped her chin and pulled her face up to look at him. “Do you hear me? Spit it out to the floor.” A short moment went by as he gauged her comprehension of his instruction. 

“…like it… when… touch… me…” She mumbled and shook her head yes. She didn’t notice Harold glance her way. Solas didn’t respond to the words and held the goblet to her mouth. She took some of the water and swished it around. Rather than spit near him she turned her head and missed the floor spitting on the knight helping to hold her up. The knight didn’t let go just jumped back a little.

“Stupid knife ear.” Amber glared at her drunkenly then winced as a wave of pain rippled through her. Solas didn’t seem to have noticed the slur.

“This should help, Amber.” He put the red vial to her lips and tilted her head back. It tasted like sour cherry and basil, which was good, then her throat constricted cutting off her wind pipe. 

The world spun and she tried to breathe in but nothing happened. It was extremely uncomfortable. She could feel the individual sections of the top half of her digestive organs swell up, her other organs were pushed out of way to make room for the swelling. Solas cursed again moved quickly, and placed hands on her throat. A bluish green glow filled her vision and the pressure released. The Templar beside her helped her lay back and then two more blurry faces filled her view. Everything was muffled again. Amber could hear a conversation going on between the three people she knew. It was short and terse. The other blurs grouped together and hobbled away with their injured friend.

She could breathe again; the cool, comforting air passing through her open air way. She realized she hadn’t felt panicked, just uncomfortable until Solas began to heal her. AS she lay the contemplating this the world cleared and the voices became intelligible. 

“...possible. There are cases of people being allergic to elfroot. Lyrium allergies are more likely. Even so, both are so rare I know of only three documented cases of allergies to elfroot in the past five hundred years, sixteen cases of lyrium allergies. Never, in all my years, have I encountered someone who was allergic to both.” He was bending over Amber examining her face as he spoke. The other two, Harold and the Nightingale, stood to one side and listened.

“Is it because she is not from Thedas?” The infuriating French accent caused Amber to roll her head toward Solas and close her eyes.

“I have found good evidence she is from Thedas.” She opened her eyes and stared at the broom sitting behind a barrel just right of the stone counter on the wall.

“What-“ Harold and Leliana started at the same time.

“It’s real!” She croaked and attempted to rise. They all moved quickly to catch her if she fell.

“What do you mean Solas?” Harold had moved to the end of the table facing Amber.

“She is most likely descended from the original Fade Walkers.” He began. Amber moved to stand up and leave. The Nightingale grabbed her arm and pulled her back. The woman wrenched her arm free with a glare. Solas backed up so she could move off the table; but not so far he would be unable to catch her if she fell.

“Those people you spoke of in the tavern?” The red head sounded suspicious to Amber. She didn’t see Solas nod in response. “Where does this information come from and can you provide proof on this side of the Veil.”

“Acquaintances in the Fade, and probably not without months, maybe years of research. We can discuss this more after we close the Breach tomorrow.” Harold just stared at Amber with an odd look. When the dejected woman caught her crystal blue eyes they just looked at one another.

“Yes, about that,” the Nightingale began glancing between the two quiet elves. “I think it’s best we leave Miss Argent in the cells while most of us are down at the Temple.”

“There is no need to lock her in the cells Leliana.” 

The redhead glared at him only a moment, “I want her watched. If not the cells she will go to the healing tents, with a guard.“ Solas only sighed and nodded turning to look at Amber.  
Barely above a whisper, Harold said, “Why did you lie?” Amber felt her temper swell. She was exhausted and weak but she would not be called a liar by this woman.

“I didn’t!” Her hoarse voice cut through the silence that had fallen.

“You must have years of learning about our people without the interference of humans!” The elf in front of her accused and pleaded at the same time. “You must have something you can share with us!” She demanded.

Amber only stared at her as she felt the tendrils of her anger grip her mind firmly and she opened her mouth as wetness flowed out of her eyes and nose. 

“I didn’t lie-“ Solas cut her off as he grabbed her chin again and took a cloth to her face, which came away with small streaks of bright red. She reached her hand up and brushed her nose with her fingers. When she looked at them, she thought it looked like it did when she put toilet paper squares on shaving cuts.

“Herald, I will speak to you privately about this matter. “ His voice was soft and reassuring. Amber hated that he would side with her.

“Why did-“ She began to complain to him. 

“You!” He started over her, “Da’len, will come with me and lie down. “ His voice was firm and parent like. Amber hated it and felt the air thick with Harold’s smugness. She turned her eyes back to the woman.

“Fuck you!” Harold gaped in astonishment.

“Amber!” Solas protested just as the Nightingale cracked her hand across her face. Amber was shocked only for a second and then shot off the table and out the door. She only heard a muffled yell coming from the room as the door shut behind her and she rushed past the mage now sitting back at her desk.

The cold air outside the Chantry struck her like a bucket of ice water. And she began to rush forward unwilling to deal with the mess behind her. _I should just go. Just walk out the fucking gates and leave this place._ “God DAMN IT!” She yelled out to the clear sky.

“Hey you!” someone yelled at her. She looked to the voice and found someone wearing a turban with a feather sticking out of it. “Yeah you come over here! You’re late!” 

Amber stumbled still a bit woozy her way over to the woman. Thoroughly distracted from the mess inside the chantry and definitely confused by what the woman was talking about. “What?”

“You heard me! Why aren’t you wearing a coat?” She mused over her, shrugged and then disregarded her own question by handing her a slip of paper. “I am docking you half days pay. And no arguments it’s ten bells.” The last part was said sternly and with a finger jabbing in Amber’s face. “An’ I don’t want to hear no gruff about how I am discriminating against an elf. That uppity bitch Charter’s got too big of a head and is taking advantage of the Inquisition’s stance on elves.” She turned back to the table clearly busy writing on different sheets and marking things off others she continued, “I ain’t got nothin’ against elves. You hear me.” The sound of the Chantry door opening behind her made her focus more on what this woman was saying. 

She looked back to Amber, who stared at her dumbly as she clasped the little square of parchment in her hand. “You get here at six bells every morning.” She gave her another once over clearly unhappy with her disheveled state, “Clean an’ ready to work. You hear me. Now take that to Adan. If that don’t take the whole day check in with Lt. Cobb and see if they still need help bringin’ firewood up from the logging stand.” She turned away from Amber who looked down at the paper in her hand. It was completely illegible. “Go on!” She jumped at the woman’s voice and stared as the woman impatiently waited for her to leave.

“I-I-I- don’t know Adan.” She managed to hoarse out. 

A great sigh left the Quartermaster as she heaved her shoulders impatiently. The woman turned and with a too pleasant smile on her face began to explain where Adan was located. “You know where The Apostate lives.” Amber nodded dumbly. “Adan’s the Apothecary down the way. Can’t miss it. Smelliest house on the block. NOW GET!” Amber jumped again and rushed away in the direction of Solas’ cabin. She had no idea what had just happened but she wasn’t about to try and figure it out when the others were probably following her.

A ways down the street, she felt the effects of the incident from earlier affect her. A slower pace with a stagger every once in a while she was determined to make it to Adan’s. Her arms and legs felt wobbly and weak as she passed Solas’. She debated on whether or not she should stop in and grab her bag. If she was going to leave, she could get out the gates with the cover of collecting herbs for them. A gust of wind hit her and she remembered her hoodie was missing. She shivered, but not because of the cold. She hurried passed Solas’ cabin and continued on. 

Another four cabins down she found a house with jars stacked outside. A wooden frame allowed three clay looking pots to be stacked one on top of the other. It made her think of the propane cages from home. She lightened at the memory silently cursing Solas’ conclusions and knocked on the door. The air had a lingering scent of burnt… things.

An unhappy bearded man answered the door, “What is it?” 

Amber stared at him and lifted her note, Varric’s sweater sleeves covering her hands. “The lady said to give this to you.” The man eyed her state then huffed and began to clean off his hands with his red and green robe. _I wonder if they have Christmas here._ Amber watched as he looked back up at her expectantly. She stared back mind going blank.

“Well? Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” She looked around confused.

“The elfroot!” He stated impatiently.

“She told me to bring you the note.” She defended

“The note,” he waved the parchment in front of her face exaggerating the word with his gruff irritated voice. “ Says I need five sacks of elfroot. Where are the sacks of elfroot?”

“She told me to bring you the note and I did.” The old man huffed in irritation at her insistence and turned into the building leaving the door open. A bitter smell wafted out of the house and she covered her nosed as she felt the stench begin to cling to the hairs in her nostrils. He returned quickly.

“Here. Don’t come back until those bags are full.” He began to shut the door in her face after handing her five burlap sacks.

“What’s elfroot look like and where do I find it?” She had placed a hand on his door to keep it from closing. The old man stood there a moment and gave her an incredulous look. Huffing again he stepped just to the side of the door and scratched something on the back of the parchment and then held it out to her impatiently. She took it and stared at the symbols on the paper, they looked just like the writing on the parchment she had brought. 

“What’s wrong now girl?” She looked from the paper to his bearded face and back. 

“I-I-I can’t read this!” She felt her cheeks flame at the admission.

“Maker help me!” He breathed in again, ran a hand over his face in frustration and gave her a hard look. He reached over and pulled a leaf from the table next to the door. This is what elfroot looks like. You need to pull the full plant. But don’t pull all of them or we won’t have any for next year.” He set the leaf back on the table. “If you go out the gates and follow the path down past the cabin and out past the outer wall you will find a grove of more than enough to fill those bags.” He went back in and closed the door.

Amber wanted to cry. She knew if she started to cry she wouldn’t be able to stop. She just needed to focus on the current task and it would get her through the day and hopefully tired enough not to take too long to get to sleep. Solas might leave her to her dreams tonight if she was lucky.

It wasn’t until she was slipping past some of the Templars near the gate that she remembered the incident in the Chantry kitchen. She paused and tried to figure out if she should go back and tell the lady she still had not gotten a name for that she was apparently allergic to elfroot. 

She was standing near some crates while she tried to decide and saw a pair of practice gloves sitting on top of one of the crates. She snatched them up and decided to leave them there on her way back through. She rushed through the training area as quickly as possible, noting the ugly looks the soldiers sent her way. 

The grove the man had told her about was a ways away. Out there was nice, empty. The sounds of people were muffled by distance. She realized with surprise that she had not left the sight of Haven since she arrived. That thought made her enjoy this little excursion all the more, which made the trip that much more enjoyable. Her steps were lighter and the air seemed fresher. She thought of nothing important, still avoiding reality, and just watched the landscape around her. At the grove she rested on rock nearby. She searched the sky for the Breach while she caught her breath. It was obstructed by some trees, to her disappointment, so she got up and began to work on filling the sacks. 

About five minutes after she had begun, a scout stepped out of the shadows and strode up to her. She ignored him and continued working.

“Serah Solas would like for you to come back to town. Lady Nightingale has given permissions for you to finish this work tomorrow. “ He stood on the plants she was trying to gather.

“I will finish this and then go in.” She said tersely as she pulled on another stalk.

“I was told not to leave you out here on your own miss.”

Amber sighed and coughed. The elfroot was emitting a glittery dust when she pulled it up and she suspected it was not good for her.

“Then help! Jesus man! I can’t get a break... Ever!” She threw the plant she had pulled into the sack and coughed again. The scout grumbled and reached for one of the bags she had thrown off to the side.

“It’s weird.” She said aloud.

“What is?” The scout asked annoyed. She looked over and balked to see he was quicker at pulling the plants and he was pulling up bigger root balls. “What is weird?!” He reiterated.

“These plants grow in the winter.” She got back to work trying to match his speed and ball size.

“Plant’s don’t grow in winter where you’re from?” He sounded irritated and skeptical.

“Of course they do, we call them evergreens. They are different from these. Not many plants like this grow well in the winter… in the mountains.”

“I know what evergreens are.” The scout snarled at her.

“Well, excuuuuse me!” They finished their work without any more talking. Amber’s coughs the only thing breaking the silence between them. The task was done quickly after that, and they headed back to the town. 

“Thanks for your help.” The scout looked at her annoyed but nodded at her. 

The troops were breaking and she sent them the bird when a few of the soldiers sent loogies her way. They looked at her oddly and then laughed with each other, clearly at her expense. She glanced at the scout and found he wasn’t even paying attention, which relieved her. The scout handed back the bags he had carried for her at the gate and took off. She placed the gloves she used to pull the plants back on the crate and made her way back to the Apothecary, ignoring the itch on her hands as she walked. 

As she neared Solas’ cabin she looked for signs he had returned, and was thankful he was nowhere to be seen. She tested her Aura as she past Solas’ cabin. It felt small and weak. It hurt her a little but she pulled it back beneath her skin and dropped the bags off with Adan. The man waved her off with a rough word of thanks and she made her way back to the lady who had given her the assignment. The sun had just finished retreating behind the mounts.

The woman handed her the small pay pouch Amber wandered away not keen on returning to Solas’ just yet. Instead she dragged her feet to the tavern despite her exhaustion. She hated this place but she hated the mess tent more- it wasn’t even open. She sent up a prayer none of the Chargers or Varric would see her as she slipped inside as inconspicuously as possible.

The bar was busy but she was able to get a bowl of stew and a mug of ale. When she turned around she almost ran into two elves. They apologized and she realized the two were Ashara and Margarete. They stared at one another for a few moments before Ashara cleared her throat and spoke.

“I-We,” She began barely above the din of the ever growing volume of those around them. “Please sit with us!” She finally got out with an awkward smile. Amber was a little stunned by the invitation and took a few moments to decide, but nodded and the two women lead her to a table on the side opposite of where the Chargers usually sat. _God **is** merciful!_

She did a quick perusal of the groups around them and didn’t see anyone she recognized besides those at the table. They were the women who worked at the wash house. The only ones without a wary look on their faces were Ashara, Margarete and Miss Rasha. Amber sat down and nodded to everyone around them. They nodded returning her greeting and cautiously fell back into their conversations.

“Thank you.” Ashara stated from across the table. Amber paused mid bite to look at her.

“Uh, you’re welcome?”

“Not just for sitting with us. You saved the two of us. I can’t tell you how much we owe you.” She looked sincere and very grateful.

“It was nothing.” Amber flushed as she spoke and took her bite, she didn’t know how to respond to their sincerity. She stared at her bowl as she chewed.

“Come now girl.” The sharp tone of Miss Rasha’s voice cut through her nerves and she looked into her stern golden eyes. “We don’t get saved from that kind of thing very often. You should not brush off their gratitude like that.”

“Uh…” She looked back to the two women. 

“Thank you.” Margarete echoed Ashara.

“You’re welcome.” She stated more firmly. She felt a stir in her chest and tried to ignore it. _It goes away sooner or later when they know you._

“Could you tell us about the stars again?” Margarete asked.

“What do you want to know?” The conversation drew in all of the elven ladies at the table. 

“How do you see stars that are that far away?” one asked. 

“Telescopes.” At the questioning stares she elaborated, “Tubes with glass like on a sextant but bigger. Way bigger.” She gestured with her hands. “There are observatories that are situated on the tops of mountains. Some that span miles of desert and one that spans a continent made up of smaller ones spread out. ” They looked at her disbelieving. 

“I heard you said the stars were… gases?” another mused skeptically.

“Yeah the sun burns a gas called hydrogen and turns it into another, called helium.” If they didn’t understand they didn’t say anything. They just threw different questions at her, which she answered to the best of her ability. They were all curious and she became more relaxed as she spoke. She didn’t notice as Harold, Varric and the Iron Bull situated themselves a few tables away and watched her interact with the ladies.

In the midst of her describing some out of solar system planets she had heard of before she had left home the ladies all became quiet and stared just above her. She looked at them all, some had blushed profusely. “What is it?” She turned to find Solas standing behind her. She tried to hide her surprise with a sheepish smile but it didn’t fool him and he arched his brow.

“You did not inform the Nightingale of your return.” He stated simply. She scooted her chair and shifted to face him better. 

“I wanted to finish what I was doing and forgot.” It was lame and everyone in earshot knew it.

Solas only sighed. “I am going to bed Amber. Are you retiring soon or will you be staying with Varric tonight?” She flushed and turned back to the laundry ladies. Some stared at her wide eyed at his implication. 

“Uh… I guess I will go now.” She began to get up.

“Do not end your discussion on my account. The wards will let you pass with no trouble Da’len.” She stared hard at the table.

“Good night, Solas.” She whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear as she felt the weight of the women’s eyes fall on her.

“Good night.” She felt him step away and turned to see him bid good night to a suspiciously close Harold and friends. She narrowed her eyes as Harold stood and walked to the door of the tavern with him. She scowled and her eyes caught the Iron Bull staring at her. She flushed and quickly turned before she could register anything on his face.

“You sleep in his CABIN!?” Ashara startled her. She locked her eyes to the table and blushed harder.

“Yeah.” She dejectedly pushed the handle on her half empty third mug.

“So have you… _you know_.” Amber turned wide eyed to the older woman seated next her.

“No!” She shot back.

The old woman chuckled at her own teasing. “Thought not. He's a man who wants a woman of action.” Amber scowled back to her mug and drained it.

“Miss Rasha!” Several of the ladies admonished her.

“What?! I have eyes. And I have been around long enough to know men.” Her slightly shiny eyes watched something behind Amber and she blushed as she knew it was Solas as he walked away. 

“Too bad he seems to like the Herald, eh?” Margarete eyed her sympathetically.

“You think so Margi?” A white haired elf name Sulana asked disappointed.

“It was shortly after her Worship stopped the Breach.” Margarete continued.

“Who i-“ Amber started.

“Shhhh!” Several of the ladies glared at her. Amber grimaced and shut her mouth to listen to the gossip.

“Well I passed by with the Apothecary’s dirty rags. You know how dirty they can get.” A few of the ladies nodded. “ And overheard their conversation.” She leaned forward with a grin on her face. The other elves including Amber leaned in as well.

“What did he say?” Ashara whispered over the din.

“Well, as I passed they had been talking about knights and shinning steeds. I went down the stairs and found that nice spot for listening, you know the one by Old Man Fargus’” more nodded and a few waved her to continue. “Well, he said he had decided to stay. And she asked if it was ‘in doubt’ and then he said he was an elven apostate surrounded by the Chantry with no ‘holy mark’ to protect him, rightly put her in her place I think.” She stated the last bit matter-of-fact. A few ladies nodded in agreement. And then her face lit up, “And then she says, ‘You came here to help, Solas, I won’t let them use that against you.’” Amber felt a tight feeling in her chest distinctly different from some of the others’ squeals of delight.

“I know!” Margarete stated and continued, “And then, he asks her how she would stop them and she says ‘How ever I had to!’” The woman emitted her own squeal. The other girls giggled conspiratorially.

“That doesn’t mean they’re in a relationship.” Amber defends quietly, a few give her a knowing look she doesn’t like.

“That’s not the only gossip about those two.” Another lady named Ghalia started. The other ladies leaned in again. Amber focused on her fingers and began to pick at her cuticles as she listened distinctly not wanting to be there any longer but unwilling to miss this information.

“One morning I was dropping off linens for Serah Adan and on my way back I heard them talking close to the wall around his hut. They were standing close.” She smiled slyly. “He said she ‘moves with grace’ when she shoots her arrows and that it’s a ‘pleasing side benefit.’ She then asked if he was suggesting she was graceful and he said ‘no, I am declaring it.’ and it’s ‘not a subject for debate’” The tipsy ladies giggled, gaped and squealed with delight. Amber just continued to focus on her nails. Two of which had gone raw, she was trying to make them bleed.

“Does anyone know that fine elven specimen who helps down at the smithy?” A woman named Halveri asked. “I hear he is a widower.” The women devolved in to the kind of idle gossip one might expect from house wives and teens. Amber tried to focus, but spent the rest of the night subdued and avoided looking toward The Iron Bull’s table.

Several hours later, Amber stumbled from the bar. She took a deep breath and sobered as best she could before making her way slowly to Solas’ cabin. Fear held her feet at his door: it was quiet inside but she kept imagining an empty room or his bed with two occupants.

She looked to the Breach and wished for some kind of happiness to come her way. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before quietly opening the door. She breathed a sigh of relief before guilt swam in to take its place. It was dim with one candle lighting the room. But with her elven eye sight she could clearly see Solas’ form, alone, on a cot. She moved to the light as quietly as her inebriated body would go, and was about to snuff it out when her eyes caught on a piece of parchment. She held it up to the light and recognized the writing as Solas’.

Tears began to pool as she looked at the words and read them silently… in _English_.

  
_Da’len,_

_Do not report to Threnn late, please. It took quite a bit of convincing Lady Nightingale to allow you that position. I apologize for not informing you of your engagements. I thought it best not to push you this morning and informed her of your tardiness._

_We will be closing the Breach tomorrow with the help of the Templars. I have been informed for the duration of our absence you will wait at the healers, under guard. Threnn has been informed. I will collect you when we return and we can discuss what we will do to help you. I also want to make sure there are no ill effects from the incident today. I may wake to check you in the morning before you leave._

_I have placed wards around your dreamscape. They will keep danger out and allow you to manipulate your dream anyway you wish. Consider it an apology for my abruptness with my hypothesis this morning._

_Sleep Well and Dream Deep_

_Solas._

She let the silent tears fall as she slipped into his bed and lay down. She rolled to face the wall and curled under the blanket around the note- his note-to her. She never expected to read English again. Like everything else she had avoided every thought about it. So she had unconsciously come to the conclusion she wouldn’t ever see it written again. She fell asleep crying tears of relief as she tried to think of anything comparable to what he had done for her.

*************************************************************  
Solas kept his breathing even from the moment she entered. He slipped into the Fade after he was certain she was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I will probably be editing this chapter. Also the next few chapters if I decided to put them up before they are looked at(that might take a while.)
> 
> As always questions, comments and concerns are encouraged:)
> 
> 3152 hits!!! 44 Bookmarks!!! 235 Kudos!!! Thanks everyone!! It's exciting to know how many times someone has thought this story sounded interesting enough to look at!! And even more exciting to know people are coming back to it!!
> 
> I also updated a few tags... finally...
> 
> Have a good day hope you enjoyed the chapter.
> 
> Edited: 12/10/2016


	25. Chapter 25

The Fade was crowded; many more of the Fade Walkers had arrived after they had left the Fade the night before. He strode among them, hands resting at the small of his back, unhindered. The People of the Fade stepped from his path as those in ages past, a few bowing deeply as they did so. A strong sense of nostalgia swept over him and he let himself go a little, reminiscing on times before he was named the Dread Wolf. The days of his rise to power equal to that of the Evanuris, the first of his brethren. 

The other wandering groups had sent representatives to confer with him and answer the questions he had about the young Amber. They seemed to have taken the opportunity as a chance to trade and gather news. They were as resourceful as his own had been, which was comforting. He had nearly forgotten they were still on the other side of the Veil before Amber’s arrival. He would seek their aid with the Veil as well. 

His eyes swept over the grotesque menagerie of beings- some with feathers, some with fur, both coarse and fine, some with bare skin. Some walked around half changed. Elvhen walked with wolves tails, or wings instead of arms. Ravens had faces of elves, wolves had hands instead of front paws. Man sized animals stood upright conferring with their brethren. They were a wild people, and all were very aware of his presence and identity. They paused in whatever they were doing to watch him pass. 

His steps had purpose as he came upon the loudest group in the center of the Raven encampment. Nineteen separate groups sat around the circular benches while one member stood in front of each them; the ten remaining herds of Halla from countless, five packs of Wolves from fifteen known so long ago, two unkindness of Ravens down from fifty, and one parliament of Owls from thirty. His mind wandered briefly back to the long ago catastrophic events that had set them all on the brink of extinction.

The vicious battles that no man had seen the likes of in this age, nor those that had come before. He remembered watching them unable to do anything but advise. Remembering his inability to help them more made his current situation all the more frustrating. Though, he now had strength to take a more active approach, and was moving to accomplish his goals. Even with the terribly unfortunate setbacks. 

Coarse yells in new languages brought his thoughts back to the present. A few were casting constant spells so they might understand one another. The atmosphere was very tense and all of them were on edge. He could see it in the stances of those who stood and the unguarded facial features of those seated. As he stepped up to the clearing a fight broke out. He stopped, unnoticed in the cacophony of animal noises and movement, to observe. 

All but two stepped back, they were tense and ready to join in at a moment’s notice. It seemed this fight was between one clad in black feathers, a Raven, and one in a russet fur, a Wolf. He tilted his head and watched as the two began to shift forms while entangled. The Wolf had the upper hand as they fought on the ground and had clamped his Elvhen mouth on the feather covered throat of Elder Magdl. Barks and growls from the Wolves section clashed with the shrill croaking caws and flapping of the Ravens across the circle. 

The Wolf reached his fur clad arms around the now more bird than Elvhen and clasped his clawed hands together and lifted. The Raven pecked at his back with his sharp beak and scratched at the now canine-like Elvhen’s stomach with giant onyx talons, his black eyes searching wildly for help. None came before the Wolf slammed him into the black sand of the Fade. The Raven was not released from his powerful jaws as the two began to scuffle, scratch, and roll about. 

The seated Wolves stood and cheered with barks and growls. They stymied the Ravens that had begun to move forward some still part Elvhen. The snarls from the Wolf fighting were drowning out the garbled caws of the young Elder Raven he had attacked.

An antlered Elvhen stamped at the ground with an ivory hooved foot calling for order. The Halla behind her bleated and bugled in various states of shift. One group of three, clad in light feathered capes calmly sat at the far side studying the fight with a mix curiosity and disgust.

There was frantic flapping as the Wolf began to shift into a more animal form and shake the large bird in his elongated jaws. Solas had no wish for the Elder to die, especially when he had spent a lot of time building up a trust with him, and so stepped forward silently and cleared his throat. 

“ _My friends._ ” All attention shifted to him as he spoke in a language most of them could understand. The two in the middle stilled. He could feel the weight of the ageless, wild eyes upon him. He felt good holding his height up after acting as submissive as possible over the past weeks. “ _The representatives of the Ravens have stated many of you found your way to the Fade across the Seas. I give you my sincerest gratitude for your quick response to my summons._ ” He inclined his head slightly at his last statement. 

The fighters released each other and backed away as he casually strode to the center of the gathering. They returned to their respective groups. The Ravens checked over their Elder and the Wolves clapped their representative on the back in congratulations and comradery. 

“ _I suspect some of you have questions. So I shall leave the other pleasantries for a later time and delve into the heart of the matter_.” He had not stopped moving in the center. He made eye contact with each delegation head and waited for them to look away as he spoke. The groups around him were restless and on edge, whatever had caused the altercation was still an issue. And though most saw him as something akin to a deity, they were still extremely dangerous creatures, with the intelligence of the Elvhen and the more prevalent instincts and reasoning of wild animals. 

“ _A young female has fallen from the Fade._ ” Ears perked up at that and whispering heads turned. “ _I did not have the time to investigate thoroughly and so called for your assistance. The Raven is under the impression she is one of The Lost._ ” A burst of angry calls and yips rippled through them. The concern he had been wary of crossed more than one face, Elvhen and animal.

“ _If I may, Father,_ ” A bell like voice broke through from the Halla antlered Elvhen closest to his entry point. “ _If she is one of them, should we not just kill her?_ ” She had kept her black eyes lowered until the question had come out, and then looked to him expectantly. 

“ _That has proven a difficult feat. Though, I have spoken with her. She does not remember that time._ ” Barks, deer-like honks, and gruff caws were laughed at that statement. He waited for them to die down. “ _I suspect she was still very young when her pack was purged. From the information the Raven and I have gathered she was most likely designated one of their Wells._ “ 

Disgust followed that statement, silent and other wise. Restless feet, hooves, paws, and talons scratched and stamped at the black ground. He kept moving while he let the information sink in. The Wolves behind their delegates began to confer in a tight circles looking back to him every once in a while.

“ _Regardless of her age, she is a blot on our Peoples, and a remnant of a species who sought the death of us all. And the deaths of those beyond the Veil._ ” The ancient Raven, who had helped him uncover the runes and spells etched in the girl’s skin, called from his seat on the bench. The Wolves growled at his implication. Despite being a Raven, he was the oldest and all would take his words under advisement when they were calm enough to think things through. 

“ _Raven, you may be old and powerful, but do not insult us! Our Brothers were proud. But they were wrong, not evil._ The eldest delegate from the Wolves retorted.

Another outburst of animal calls sounded around them and they broke down into more arguments. Solas broke through the bickering and growing agitation, “ _The point of her death is moot. I promised her my protection._ ”

The Walkers stilled at that. Some looked angry; the Wolves were not one of them. “ _Then, Father, let us care for her. No harm will come to her with us! She can learn of her true People and we may all benefit!_ ” A younger Wolf called to him a magnanimous smile on his Elvhen face as he gestured to the half changed group behind him.

“ _Foolish Pups!_ ” A gravelly baritone called from the back of an older group of Wolves. “ _Your pack has many females! We are more experienced and have survived longer! Our lineages are worth preservation!_ ” A grey furred Wolf came trotting in from the back.

“ _Strength is more important! You would lose her to demons or spirits old dog!_ ” Another Wolf sneered.

“ _Why should the rest of us willingly allow your numbers to grow?_ ” A male Halla delegate called out. “ _We can care for her with no threat of adding to reckless animals!_ ” Those among his ranks cried out in agreement as he strode next to his female counterpart and stood tall. His antlers branched into over a dozen points on either side and the white Halla fur replaced his silver hair as he walked forward, his black eyes glinting in the light of the Fade.

The Wolves bared their teeth and growled. Solas watched the interaction and sighed with disappointment. They had been much easier to work with all those millennia ago. He would have to use their help sparingly before the Veil fell.  
A hoarse bark like noise came from one of the silent observers. All eyes turned toward the relaxed group of three nearest the main tent of the encampment. The Owls had been watching the goings on calmly and without comment. 

“ _You have something to offer Friend?_ ” Solas questioned turning to face the group.

“ _We have heard stirrings in the Fade, Father. Our territory ranges far west away from Thedas. But even there, as we hunt, we hear small pieces from the spirits and demons._ ” The dark skinned Elvhen stood as he spoke, his cape of feathers enclosed his body and dusted the ground. The Owl’s slightly larger grey eyes held his own. “ _Is it true you seek to dissolve the Veil?_ ” The others went silent again. Attention back one they called Father. 

Solas stood tall thinking over his response. As he opened his mouth to do so, distant howls rang out over the encampment. He and the wolves canted their heads to listen. The Halla had all snapped their heads toward the noise and gasped. 

When everyone else turned they saw four giant pillars in the distance rising up into the fog of the Fade, four pillars that had not been there moments before. The Halla all had become extremely nervous and looked to him. The Wolves bared their teeth in excitement and began to speak to each other in a lively way, while the birds had all stilled and stared. He only watched as one of the pillars rose and fell smoothly back towards the ground, a faint rumble in the distance. There was no mistaking what was headed for them. 

“ **The** _Wolf!?_ ” The bold Halla female spoke up; fear in her voice. Solas turned to them they each bowed to him warily watching the moving pillars in the distance, they wished to leave immediately. 

“ _I shall go and greet him._ ” He took a deep breath and observed those who had responded to his summons. He gave them a small smile. “ _It seems this council has become obsolete._ ” He turned to go to his old friend and paused. “ _If you would…_ ” They all watched him expectantly, “ _remain here a while longer. I will provide an answer to the Parliament’s question and have an offer some of you might find desirable._ ” He inclined his head finally dismissed them. The Halla visibly shook and darted away as quickly as possible. 

He stepped and was miles from the encampment. The four pillars looked more detailed that up close, more like what they were. He let a full smile grace his lips as his eyes trailed up the long legs of his oldest friend. 

“ _Savh Falon._ ” He said as if someone stood not two feet away. Six enormous green glowing eyes penetrated the fog at an impossible height to stare down at him. With a blink the legs shortened and the underbelly of a gigantic creature appeared in the sky above. It cast a dark shadow over the Fade lands. 

Solas did not flinch when the six eyes moved rapidly downward towards him and a giant nose, that would be a full foot taller than his head, was before him. A warm, moist air passed through the nasal passages he could comfortably walk through. He only chuckled fondly. And when he blinked again, the enormous creature stood before him. Its shoulders then just about his own six foot. 

It nuzzled its large head into his shoulder and he laughed out right when it nearly knocked him off his feet. “ _Vaslasan, vaslasan!_ ” He laughed again and began scratching the giant black wolf’s head. His smile remained as the animal groaned in pleasure. After a few good scratches it sat on its haunches and the two looked at each other for a few moments in silence.

’ _It has been a long time Elf._ ’ Solas eyes crinkled at the understatement.

“ _Indeed it has Wolf. I assume your nap was restful?_ ” The Wolf let his tongue roll out lazily in an animalistic, open mouthed grin.

‘ _Enough._ ’His disembodied voice was laced with laughter. 

“ _That is good to hear. I am glad to see you Friend._ ” More emotion showed in his voice than he would have liked but the animal only sighed.

‘ _And you._ ’He briefly bowed his massive head and blinked three pairs of glowing green eyes in succession. ‘ _What has you scaring the Spirits and Demons? My journey here was interesting. There are stories all across the Fade that say The Dread Wolf sought a council with the Walkers. That he is moving to bring down the Veil. And I find a giant hole in the barrier we created so long ago._ ’

Solas sighed deeply, “ _I have made a mistake. More than one, really._ ” He exhaled again, and explained to his ancient companion his decisions and reasons, past and present. When he finished, The Wolf pondered him a few moments. As he did so, Solas felt the weight of his gaze. This creature, while his oldest friend, was very much the wild being he resembled. 

‘ _I understand. You wish to remove the Veil and return the People their power and their true essence._ ’ The Wolf canted his head and Solas nodded. ‘ _I cannot say I wholly agree... but will once again offer my aid if you so desire it._ ’ Solas paused, he had been prepared to argue. His smile had fallen when the Wolf had asked him about it all. His thoughts were broken when it spoke again. ‘ _That does not explain why you called a council._ ’ 

“ _I called the council because someone has fallen from the Fade. A young woman. She calls herself Amber, and she has a unique ability and history. Encountering her caused old memories to surface, and I sought the help of the Elders so she might be returned to the Fade. I had thought you would not be disturbed from your rest._ ” He looked to the Wolf apologetically and continued, “ _The Raven has confirmed she is a Fade Walker, one of the original Elvhen who was helped by your kinsmen. Even going so far as to insist she is one of The Lost. From what I have read, I would agree._ ” The Wolf snapped his mouth shut and stilled. His six eyes narrowed as he examined Solas critically and he leaned in touching his large cold nose to the Elvhen’s stomach. He breathed in deeply.

‘ _It… it is faint, but… I do smell someone familiar._ ’ The Wolf’s voice was neutral, but Solas knew his friend even after several millennia. He caught the single off flick of The Wolf’s tail.

“ _You are excited about finding one of yours._ ” Statement more than question.

‘ _I am unsure. I thought my pack lost to my betrayal. I did kill them after all._ ’ He stood and began moving toward the far off encampment. ‘ _The only ones spared were the cubs I had run off the edges into the nothing of the Fade._ ’ His voice was melancholy, ‘ _I only smell a familiar scent. Though nothing so familiar as to identify her as one from home._ ’ Solas listened and kept stride with him.

“ _I will bring her to meet you. It would give her a better understanding of what she is when I am finally able to divulge what information I have._ ” His tone came out slightly exasperated.

‘ _She causes you trouble?_ ’ He sounded more amused than Solas would have liked. It earned him a stern look from the Elvhen.

“ _She is still young. I have a wonder if she has matured at all in the past thousand years. And I still have not figured out how she came to fall from the rift._ ” He rubbed the scar above is his right eye in frustration. “ _She has spoken of a different world and came out of the Fade with interesting objects… Even so, everything I have seen points to her being one of the Fade Walkers. Perhaps you will have some insight._ ”

‘ _Perhaps._ ’ There was a shrug in his voice. ‘ _Will you bring her when next you sleep, or will you need to gather more mana? Cracking through the spells the Walkers have erected to keep them from the sight of dreamers is taxing for one as young as you._ ’  
Solas huffed at his reference to the disparity in their ages, the irony. “ _I will be able to manage one more night and still be able to function for the Inquisition._ ” The Wolf laughed, and the two continued their trek towards the tents on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had trouble with the second half of this so that will go in the next chapter. I really want to know what you think. Is it clear? 
> 
> No common spoken in this chapter. 
> 
> Elvhen cobbled together from FenxShiral and Project Elvhen.
> 
> Savh Falon- Hi friend.
> 
> Vaslasan- I yield.
> 
> As always questions, comments, and concerns welcome and encouraged. And thank you Immerghensi.
> 
> This is the picture that inspired this story. I got it off of pintrest. Thank you to the artist who drew it. Anyone who knows let me know, please.
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com/pin/590675307346814997/


	26. Chapter 26

The Herald stared into the mirror Josephine had insisted on installing in her cabin. She had heard stories of them from Ha’hren Ematuelanuren, but had never expected to encounter one as a hunter. The woman across from her flexed her jaw at the same time she ran her tongue across her gritty teeth as well. She shook her head, still unable to fathom how exactly it wasn’t another person across from her, just herself. She had never seen herself in anything but the still ponds deep in the forests before, or her reflection in Rasa’s shield.

She gave a tired smile at the memory of her best friend, and the woman gave one back. Snow white hair, deceptively dark vallaslin, and crystal blue eyes that almost glowed in the fire light. She caught the woman’s eyes and looked deep; trying to find whatever mental fortitude it was she would need in the event the Breach wouldn’t seal.

“Elgar’nan ma ghilana.” She whispered to the woman and closed her eyes. She needed to get her head straight. She was a servant of Elgar’nan: The Elvhen god of vengeance and the sun, the All-Father. And no matter any of the similarities Cassandra’s Maker shared with him, she needed _his_ strength right now. There was no time for a crisis of faith today. She scrubbed her face and exhaled forcefully as she stood; brushing the stray hairs that she shed more and more often lately. She was certain it was the stress- she was barely twenty summers. 

Her arm bumped the chair as she reached to push it in, and the shine from the fire light reflected off her arm guard into her eyes at just the right angle to cause pain. She harrumphed and roughly shoved the chair under the desk. Her new armor was made from blood stone and reflected the fire light with a red tint across the room. She had argued with Leliana and Josephine that her other armor was fine. Vivienne had interjected that she must look the part of the Herald if the Inquisition was going to make any kind of difference. It was at that, that she remembered Solas’ words about posturing. So she had reluctantly given in and allowed them to set up the ridiculously Chantry-like armor. 

She gave herself one last glance and grabbed her bow. It had been a gift from the Chargers after having allowed them to accompany her and the Iron Bull to take care of the Ferelden Frostback in the Hinterlands. She smiled softly at how excited they had been to give her the simply designed bow. It was finely crafted from ironbark and silverite, with a master cold rune. 

As she tucked her braid in to the back of her armor, she heard a soft knock at her door. Her heart sped up and she flushed. It was most likely Solas. He would be checking on the injury she had received the day before while helping to hold down the seizing Templar. She was slightly disappointed as she was supposed to get to see the inside of his cabin today. 

“Enter.” She said softly. He heard and stepped inside. Her eyes raked over him. They always did, even though she was trying to be subtle about her attraction. She always mused to herself about what the apostate hid under his delusive clothes. As an apostate he would not be as soft as the few mages she had encountered from the circle. Not that they were by any means incapable of defending themselves. She had once held Solas’ staff as he had to remove thorns from his foot wraps. It was a lot heavier than she had expected. But Solas, _he_ definitely was more than capable of wielding it.

On more than one occasion she had caught herself staring at the grace and flexibility with which he moved. His staff looked light as an arrow in his hands as he battled demon, Templar, and Mage alike. The man had obviously had years of practice. She would never admit to the number of times she had let her imagination run away with her desire for him. 

“Good morning, Herald.” He greeted warmly.

She sighed deeply with disappointment. “Please Solas- da’len is better than Herald. I even gave you permission to use my name… when it’s just the two of us anyway.” She preferred Herald to her name, but she was interested in Solas and sought a bond with him. He was ever so reluctant to try for one though. She moved to sit back in the chair by the mirror. “I thought we were going to do this at your cabin?”

He leaned his staff against the wall and removed his outer cloak. “It is best to stay in the habit of addressing you as such in the boundaries of Haven. You never know who is listening.” She winced at the reminder of the distinct lack of privacy in Haven. Not that she had much privacy with her clan. It was just different with the shems. _Humans. Humans, not shems._ “And Amber needed to rest a time more.” 

A flare of anger and frustration flashed through her at the mention of the woman. He had moved closer as he had spoken. Amber was a problem. She had only ever seen small children act in the manner that woman had. If she would just speak about anything, any information would be welcome; on herself, on the past, anything. It was her duty as an elf to share the past, and stupid not to share about herself; even if she made a promise. 

She understood Amber’s reluctance to break the promises she made, she really did. However, it was becoming clear to everyone that they could gain what they wanted by simply getting her drunk. _She’s lucky I have been keeping Leliana off of her._ Everyday she found it harder to care that Amber was a person with feelings. She was near the end of her rope. It wouldn’t have even gone on this far if Solas hadn’t asked her to give the woman a chance.

The smug smiles and dirty looks Amber often sent her way were frustrating to say the least. _Surely no Ancient would behave like that?_ A cool feeling spread through her and she let her mind calm with the feel of his magic and responded to his words. “Is she really a Fade Walker… an Ancient?”

“I believe so yes.” He kept his eyes on his work. She was mildly disappointed he had not commented on her armor.

“It’s just so frustrating that she… I don’t know. She just does… nothing? I have never met an adult who is so helpless. She is lucky she can’t die.” She rested her elbow on the desk and propped her chin on her palm.

“As I have stated before, everything can die. Some are just harder than others to kill.” 

She turned to him arching her brow. “So we should just try harder.” Her voice held mild amusement. But Solas only gave her a stern look. “Uhg it’s just… I don’t know… Annoying?” She ran her hand over her hair trying to rid herself of the irritation. “It’s just so hard to believe _that_ is what we once were.” She gestured vaguely to the door.

Solas, finished with his task, stood and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment as his hands clasped in front of him comfortably. “The Ancients were _People_ , Herald.” She gave him a sharp grunt at his use of her title. “Not all the Elvhen were scholars. There were bakers, millers, mothers, fathers: a whole society of People. There were schools, blacksmiths, and libraries. They were People who made mistakes.” She looked to him as a deep sadness bled into his words. “People who held evil…”

“You really have seen a lot in the Fade haven’t you?” He never ceased to amaze her with his depth of knowledge. He was a well, and she just knew her people could learn so much from him. She was still writing the letter to her Keeper asking if she could bring him back with her. Deshanna would certainly not object introducing him to the clan, Dalish or not. Fresh blood added to their lines was always a good move. Powerful mage blood… His height would cause some of the ha’hrens to question the purity of his blood, but his ears named him elven. _Everyone knows elf-blooded are born human._

“I have seen much in my years.” He stated simply.

“Any advice on how I can convince our resident immortal to do something… anything would be appreciated. I just can’t reconcile her with my idea of our ancestors.” 

“I suggest patience. She has a lot longer to think on her life than mortals. And her instincts may guide her at this, point more so than someone today. She _is_ one with a creature once considered to be wild amongst the wild.”

“And you don’t think she has _any_ memories of Arlathan or Elvhenan?” She could feel the desperation for some kind of information to come to light; a gift for her Keeper, for her family.

“If what my acquaintances have told me is accurate, than I believe she was too young to remember much before she became trapped behind the Veil.” He was sympathetic and she knew it. As an elf, she trusted him. All of his knowledge was strange to her, but he had not led them astray yet. She tutted and stared out the window at the lightening sky as Solas moved back to the door.

“How did she and the others get trapped behind the Veil? Was it like with the Magisters of Chantry lore? And how did she fall from the Rift when I closed it?” She mused as she watched him put on his cloak.

“I have a few theories, but that must wait for another time. The others will be down at the stables.” She sighed again at his reminder, and stood.

“Solas?”

“Yes, Herald.” She could have growled at him but regrouped her calm before she continued.

“Do you think I can close it this time?” He stilled and looked her in the eye.

“Though I would have been more confident in the mages’ powers, I feel we have more than enough Templars to weaken the Breach sufficiently. You need only have confidence in yourself.” With that he opened the door for her. She surprised him with a quick hug before heading quickly off toward the stables. Solas only hesitated a moment before he regained his composure and followed after her. 

Their passage through town was swift. Everyone they passed stepped from her path with a slight bow or curtsy to her never ending annoyance. They smiled and looked to her with awe and hope in their eyes. Even though it unnerved her greatly, she did her best to keep her emotions off of her features, offering them as kind smiles as she could.

Cries of “Maker’s blessing Herald.”, “Hail Andraste!”, and “Exalt the Maker!” surrounded her but she only thought of her god and the story she had dreamed up of him beating back the Dread Wolf and his demons. She would protect these people who were hers by duty if not heritage.

*******************************************************************************************************************************

Amber sprinted from Solas’ cabin and pin wheeled her arms in a comical action as she slid five feet on the ice sheet outside his door. She made it half way to her destination before she ran back to make sure the door was locked.

“Damn it Solas. Why didn’t you wake me up?” She was sure she would be late. “Because you’re an adult Amber.” She chided herself softly in sing song, and sighed while she sprinted as fast as she could toward the requisitions. As she passed The Nest she shivered, certain a certain someone had spotted her. She gave the Nightingale the bird in the most subtle way she could without slowing down, not really wanting the bitch to catch it. 

She soon spotted Threnn who was already handing out assignments. She sprinted the last ten yards and was trying not to throw up as the officer stepped in front of her. 

“I would suggest leaving a little earlier, elf.” Amber shot her a concerned look.

“I made it on time right?”

“I can count it that way.” Threnn said dismissively then pointed to some saddle bags near her table. “Take those to the stable hands. They got left when the others were taken.” The woman began to turn from Amber then stopped and turned back with narrowed eyes, “Don’t cause trouble and report straight to the Healer’s tent when you’re done. To Enchanter Ellandra, I think.“ Amber watched as she walked away then moved to pick up the saddle bags.

They were heavier than she had realized they would be so, of course, she dropped one. The glass inside clashed together when it hit the ground. She adjusted the one she had managed to maneuver onto her shoulder and bent to pick up the other. The contents were still intact. _That’s some sturdy glass!_ She managed to get the second in place on her other shoulder and trudged her way down the first set of steps.

Her eyes found the Breach as she walked and a smile pulled on her lips. She let her eyes fall shut and reveled in the thrum of the energy that poured out from the Fade. A deep breath brought the hum into her lungs and made tingle.

She eyed them all as the inhabitants of the town began their day. Most gave her a dirty look, or that weird downward sword motion. A few she was beginning to recognize still spat at her feet. A deep restraining breath had her wishing she could go to the Fade. Though, she still had no idea how to go about getting there; other than crawling into a rift. She didn’t even know what a rift looked like. 

Her mind wandered to the giant green hole. _What would it be like without it in the sky?_ The thought chilled her to the bone. Her eyes locked onto the Fade portal. She just couldn’t imagine it not being there. Even her memories of home didn’t help the image disappear from the sky over the snowy mountains.

A melancholy settled into her chest as she walked through the gates and turned toward the stables. The wagons were just past a group of maybe thirty Templars who were adjusting their armor. As she moved toward them a few noticed her and nudged their fellows, pointing her out to them. When they saw her they tensed. The few without helmets narrowed their eyes. She could see their mouths forming words and almost hear what they were saying; but didn’t really want to know. So, she gave their group as wide a berth as possible. As she passed a few sneered at her and made as if to charge; she was sure they were trying to intimidate her, because they did intimidate her. 

In order to break the fear and anger that was bubbling up inside of her she stuck her tongue out and crossed her eyes. It had always worked to break tensions before. _They_ didn’t smile or back off at all, but they also didn’t move toward her. She still got past them as quickly as she could after that. The wagon just ahead of her had a majority of the few healer mages in Haven aboard with lots of closed crates. 

The mages looked uncomfortable and cast wary glances to the Templars behind her. None of them spoke to her or even glanced in her direction as she walked up to the tall human stable hand as he attached the last water skin to the outside of the wagon with the rest.

“Here you go.” She hefted one shoulder to the man who looked relieved at the sight of the saddle bags.

“Oh thank the Maker! Thank you for this! I was sure we were a couple short.” He sniffled and rubbed his hand across his very drippy nose. He then reached to remove the weights from her shoulders quickly and ran off toward the actual stable proper, fast enough that he missed the disgusted look she sent his way.

She located a spare piece of cloth, _at least we’ll call it a spare_ , from off the wagon and wiped the man’s snot off of her shoulder. She stuffed the cloth in a cranny on the wagon and turned to go toward the healers tents on the other side of the lake, near the training fields. Her eyes caught on a short man with blonde hair walking quickly toward her and she stiffened ready to bolt.

Varric was a quicker man than she would have given him credit for, and was in front of her before she knew it. He was holding a familiar bundle in his left hand. She locked her eyes on it.

“Hey Lucky!” Her eyes snapped to his.

“Lucky?” She raised one eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. It seems bad luck is the only luck you seem to have.” His smile teased sympathetically, and she grimaced slightly at the truth. “I figured you really didn’t need the reminder every time we talked. Plus, I had to keep explaining it to different people when they would ask me about how you were doing.” He held his arms out and shrugged. “Also I owe you an apology.”

She stiffened and straightened her back at that. “I hadn’t realized anyone cared so much about me. And I suppose you do.” She said it quietly and let her eyes move to the Breach for comfort and then back to his. 

“I’m sorry I got you drunk to get you to talk.” He was sincere. “Tiny and I just felt you would feel better if you got it out of your head.”

“And you would get information for one of those stories you write?”

“That too.” He did look a little sheepish at the admission. “As an apology gift, you can keep the sweater you snuck from my dresser and I’ll give you these back.” He held up the bundle. She looked at it a moment and realized with a flood of relief it was her hoodie. _Plausible deniability is a wonderful, wonderful thing in the face of an imagined reality._ She snatched the bundle from his hand as politely as she could make herself.

“Next time don’t leave it under the bed. I still don’t understand why you would put it there.” He chuckled as he said it, then pointed up at her face. “Uh, Lucky you might want to wash your face after breakfast.”

“What?!” She reached her hand up and wiped her mouth. Dried pieces of the mush Solas had left for her came off. Lots of them. Embarrassed, she scrubbed at her face as Varric laughed and teased her further. “Quit laughing dwarf.” She pushed him and he scratched at his chest where she had touched. The incident dispelled any lingering awkwardness between the two.

“You have a very hairy chest.” She pointed out.

“Ahh, yes I do.” He gave her a charming smile. “The ladies love the chest hair.” His voice held a strong and confident tone as he pushed his chest out a bit prouder.

“Ha! Where I come from most women prefer no chest hair.” She teased.

“What?! You and your fellow women wound me!” He placed a hand over the open V in his button down red silk shirt and staggered back playfully.

“Also,” she continued with a faux haughty air and looked at her bitten nails as she went on, “If I remember correctly it means you’re older and have less testosterone in your system; as well as more of a hormone like estrogen.” She smiled to let him know she was teasing, but was only greeted with confusion.

“What?” He let out a bewildered chuckle.

“Oh… well…” She sighed in defeat. “It was meant to tease you. And it only went over your head.” She deflated at the realization it would happen way more often than not; if she ever met people who would actually talk to her. “Nevermind.” She sighed dejectedly.

“You’re going to have to explain that stuff to me. How about tonight?” He smiled reassuringly at her. She tucked her bundle under her arm.

“No drinking?” She gave him a severe look.

“Water only.” He encouraged with an agreeable smile.

“I’ll think about it.” She looked out to the Breach. “I might not feel like company tonight.”

“Why not? We’ll be celebrating tonight!”

She let her eyes move to scan the crowd, looking for a familiar bald head, and gave him only a half-smile this time, “I know.” Her eyes caught on a group that was moving toward them. Harold, The Iron Bull, and Lt. Aclassi were making their way over.

“I hear they have cake!” He said in a deep sing song.

She shot her eyes back to him. “Ask me again later. Ok?” She smiled a tight smile and began to edge her way away. “I gotta go. See ya!” She took off at a jog and flipped a hand at him as a wave bye, again giving the Templars plenty of space as they stared her down.

She made it to the healers’ tents quickly. Inside a red head was mumbling to herself over a table filled with parchments and scrolls. She wore a blue dress with white furry fringe in the same style as the people who identified as mages. Amber walked up to her cautiously and cleared her throat to get the woman’s attention.

She looked up at the noise and squinted her eyes. “What can I do for you?” 

“I’m Amber. I was told to report here after I finished my delivery.” 

“Ah, you.” She stated it with frustration and Amber had to fight not to wince at her annoyance. “Alright. I am Enchanter Ellandra. Outside are some crates with empty potion flasks. Get a rag and a bucket of water. You’ll find a special tool on that table, there.” She pointed to a long table near the entrance of the tent. “It’s a long handled brush for cleaning out the tubes for smaller doses of potion. Take that and clean the flasks. Dry them off and, carefully put them back in the crates.” She turned back to her work when she finished. Amber noticed a lack of a guard, but didn’t pursue the matter. _Like I’m gonna ask for a babysitter._

It took her maybe an hour to gather the water and towels. She set up her station to work as efficiently as she could. The group headed for the Temple moved out and she watched them while she began to work seated on an empty crate. The time was quiet, and she had pulled on her hoodie and dug into its pocket to find her player.

As she listened to Vivaldi her eyes would stray to the Breach and remain there while she cleaned and dried each flask. They only strayed when she had to put one in the ‘done’ crate and get another from the ‘dirty’ box. As time passed her mind couldn’t help but return to the events of her life recently.

She let thoughts of her brothers in. They might have liked it in Thedas. She smiled fondly at what she presumed their reactions to the way she had been treated would be. The smile slipped when she remembered what they had done in the past to people who had insulted her or them. _No… They probably would have hated it here too._

Jason and Jackson had been so much less into change after Anna’s death. They had made life as stagnant as possible. They won fights and kept her clothed in nice things. They didn’t talk much to anybody but her. And only about things she had been interested in. This wasn’t much outside of what her day would bring, and whether or not they had brought her something.

She felt the frown grow on her face. She had left because they couldn’t adapt to the world changing around them. And they reacted violently when it did change. And fell more into their flawed ideas. She remembered the things that had occurred that had made them so very angry. And she remembered the promises she had given them. The promises she had already… A hint of panicked realization began to creep across her conscious, she shoved it down as deep as she could and sighed a familiar sigh. A resigned one, and forced her mind from that train of thought.

Instead she focused on how well the day seemed to have gone. Something bad was definitely going to happen. The day had gone just too well. She had woken to a warm room. Later than she would have liked, but she was still able to make it to work on time. Solas had left her another note which she had tucked away, creepily, in her bindings with the one from the night before. She would have to thank him. It was wonderful to read English two days in a row.

She pushed down her elation and continued her work as she thought about Varric. He had found and returned her hoodie, and he had not messed with her music. The existential crisis she thought she would have to face sooner was put off for another, not now, time. Even so, she would most likely decline tonight. She would probably want to do nothing but sleep so she wouldn’t have to think about, or look at, an empty sky. He had even apologized and she felt better about talking to him; though she would most definitely still avoid the giant.

Yes, the morning had been, relatively, a good one. “And I’m gonna pay for it,” she mused darkly to herself. Her eyes strayed back to the Breach as she picked up another flask and began to brush out the dried bits of yellowish red from the bottom. Again she tried to picture the cloudy sky without the green portal and floating rocks. The thought made her heart hurt, and she pulled her eyes from the lovely green rings of hope. They landed on a pair of shiny sets of armor making their way toward her and she stiffened.

“Here comes the Piper.”

They were Templars. As they drew nearer Amber recognized the lady Templar as the blonde from the day before. She let her lip curl in distaste. The Templar she didn’t recognize narrowed his eyes.

“Miss Argent.” The blonde greeted her with a nod. She didn’t respond, just continued with her work. The knights continued to stand there and watch her a while.

She noticed the blonde shifted on her feet uncomfortably after a few minutes and glanced up at her. “Is there a problem?”

“Ah, Miss Argent. I would like to apologize for what I said yesterday.” Amber looked up at this. She couldn’t recall what the woman was talking about.

“See Arlene-“ The man began.

“’Knight Tanner’ in front of other people, Recruit Telem!” The blonde gritted through a tight smile.

“It doesn’t matter, the elf doesn’t remember.” He said testily and crossed his arms as he looked away towards the Breach.

“It does matter.” And then to Amber, “I am sorry I called you a knife-ear. Ser Solas, _rightly_ , had strong words in response.” Amber felt her attitude soften at the thought he still defended her, even after her behavior. The Templar grunted and continued in her gravelly voice, “As did the Herald. That kind of language is something I left behind after the Kirkwall Circle fell and the death of Grand Cleric Elthina.”

Amber still didn’t remember it. “I don’t remember, so sure.” She shrugged as she said it and returned to her task. The blonde didn’t seem to like this answer but didn’t respond and the two took up positions on either side of her. She snickered to herself as she thought about the image the three of them projected. She felt a little like royalty.

“What’s so funny?” The man she didn’t know sneered. But she didn’t get to answer because there was an unidentifiable sound across the valley. Her stomach bottomed out and the three of them looked up to the Breach. A brilliant light traveled up the green path toward the green hole. She sucked in a breath as it hit. A brilliant flash made her flinch and the gust of wind brought her back.

Her black rimmed, light green eyes shot back to the sky. She felt cold inside when the only thing she saw were dark clouds circling where the Breach had once been. Despair crawled through her chest as cheers and shouts of joy echoed across Haven. _I’m never going home._ The thought brought on panic.

She heard Knight Tanner cry out ecstatically as her mind grasped for something to cling to in her hopelessness. The woman’s fellow Templar pounded his chest and cried, “Praise the Maker! Hail Andraste! Praise her Herald.” The two laughed and moved behind where she sat. She could only stare at the scarred sky. Cold crept through her and the air became thick.

“What do you say elf!?” A shiny flask entered her vision as she cast her eyes to the ground. A pungent smell of whisky clogged her senses and she reached up to pull her tunic and hoodie collars away from her steadily constricting throat. She gulped for air and tears began to well up in her eyes. The tube she had been cleaning fell to the ground and shattered as both hands now clawed to free her throat.

The Templars moved in front of her. She couldn’t make out their faces. Tears and panic blurred her vision. “Hey elf!” armored hands clasped her shoulder and she tried to scramble way from it. She fell off her crate and crawled backwards into the tent canvas behind her. She grasped onto it in an attempt to get away from the danger she felt and pulled it down. She turned over frantically as they cautiously drew nearer and only succeeded in trapping herself in the canvas. 

Shouts of protest and alarm sounded from the downed tent. More noise began to clutter the world and Amber finally got air through her wind pipe only to scream it back out as the neon blue pain that identified the Templars shoved its way under her skin and knifed through her Aura. The shouting that went on was muted as the pain ripped through her insides.

“Stop!” She heard from far away as the world went black.

***************************************************************************************************************************

The large Rift seemed to pull at her very soul. Raging hot fire and despairingly cold ice raced through her left arm as the three green tethers pushed at the tear in front of her. Green blobs of a substance from the Fade shot out of it as it pulsed and disappeared before they hit the ground. She panted and gritted her teeth as the edges finally began to pull into one another. 

She could feel the power of the few mages directly behind her force its way into the mark on her hand. The Templars suppression was becoming stronger as the gelatinous looking rift roiled and flared its violently green light. The visible green ribbons and veins of Fade magic surrounded her as she pushed forward and willed the tear to close. 

Then the resistance was gone. She lurched forward as a bright light flashed. She was shoved back by a wave that emanated from where the Rift had been. She hefted herself to her knee as the sound of shifting metal and groans of those behind her came back into focus. She felt eyes as they began to shift to her and looked over her right shoulder. Cassandra was there. The warrior stepped forward and placed a hand on her back. “You did it!”

The Herald rose and looked around. The Templars were helping each other up. He companions were dusting themselves off. The first cries of victory rang from the men and women who had helped her accomplish this task. She turned to Cassandra and echoed with a smile. “We did it.” Cassandra returned her smile and clapped her on the back again.

The trek back to Haven was lighter and faster. She watched those around her, many thanking her. She accepted with lots of humility, reminding even the mages that they had _all_ been a part of this accomplishment.

The merriment went on and as they flooded into Haven, where everyone was already celebrating, the raucous was only getting louder. She happily accepted a mug of cider from Flissa who had set up cider barrels near the Chargers’ tents. She snagged a second and wound her way through the crowd looking for her apostate.

She spotted his distinctive head and quickened her pace. After a few people had moved out of the way she saw he was standing with Cassandra as the Templar woman she had met yesterday spoke with them both. 

She strode in and was immediately concerned“…could come look. I am certain it is the same thing as yesterday, but he is worse than Bran.” The Templar stood wringing her ungloved hands.

“What’s wrong?” The Herald cut in. Everyone turned to look at her, but it was Solas that answered.

“It seems the closing of the Breach has had an adverse effect on Amber.” His sharp eyes cut to the Templar and back. “And that one of the Templars assigned to guard her decided to use Purge to dispel the effect. He had a similar, if not more violent, reaction than the Templar from yesterday.” 

She took a deep breath and held it as she passed off the two mugs to a random passerby. “Why am I not surprised?” She muttered under her breath. “Let’s go.” To the others, and they moved towards the healers’ tents and entered the on nearest the lake.

Inside the tent was a large group of people: Cullen, Leliana, Mother Giselle, and, much to her annoyance, Chancellor Roderick. They all looked up when the four entered the tent. She noted the actual healers were absent.

“Ah, Herald! Why am I not surprised to have just learned of this demon’s existence? And that it has had a full run on Haven!” Chancellor Roderick was so going to be a very large pain in her ass that day.

“Chancellor, you have other things to be doing, certainly?” She responded.

He gave an indignant noise that sounded too close to Cassandra’s distinct expression of disgust, but before he could respond Leliana cut in. “This is similar to yesterday, Herald. Though Knight Tanner,” She indicated the blonde woman who had retrieved them. “Feels that Knight Telem’s reaction to Amber was more severe. He has gone blind.” Her tone was matter of fact. Something she hadn’t heard since she had dissuaded the Nightingale from killing the agent Butler.

“Blind?”

“Yes. I would suggest Solas look at him quickly. It would be prudent to see if we can save his eyes.” Cullen interjected. His tone was morose, a more appropriate response.

She did not miss the flash of irritation across the apostate’s handsome face. She wanted to question him, but not in front of the she- _Humans._ He only nodded and moved directly to the Templar lying on the cot nearest the healer’s table.

“Why are we not addressing the demon?!” The Chancellor all but yelled.

“ _Amber_ is not a demon.” She defended without thought.

“The Inquisition is looking into her identity Chancellor.” Leliana turned her calculating gaze to the aging man. “It is under our purview that she walks Haven.”

“I had dismissed the rumors that had spread around Haven.” The man continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “But I had only thought it like the rumors of the Dalish. Now I see that you dissidents are in favor of harboring demons.” He almost spat the last word. “I must insist we lock this creature up, at least in chains.”

“No one is locking anyone up Chancellor.” Cassandra broke in at this. “We have had enough experience with her to know that she is harmless. It harms no one to let her walk about Haven. And she is watched.” Leliana cut her eyes to the woman and back.

“This is ridiculous Seeker. You cannot spout the teachings of the Chantry when you want, and then ignore them whenever you see fit!” His hands were balled fists at this point, his body stiff. “People are scared. A loud cheer punctuated the silence that followed the statement, and the tent stilled.

“It seems, Chancellor, Andraste has given us a moment to remember the great deed that has been done today. Please escort me back to the Chantry and let us share a glass of wine to celebrate the fact that we are no longer in danger from the Breach.” Mother Giselle only smiled warmly to the man, who had deflated with the cheer. He sighed and nodded. He opened the flap for the Revered Mother and the two left the tent allowing the others to relax.

The Herald exhaled in relief the others turned to her. “We must figure out what to do with Miss Argent.” It was Commander Cullen, “The soldiers a restless around her. She sets the Sisters on edge. Master Dennet has reported that he knows when she is near because the horses get skittish.” His voice was tense. 

“Solas has reported that she is one of the Fade Walkers he spoke of in the Fade.” Cassandra offered. “Perhaps there are some on this side of the Veil.” She turned to the Herald, “Or perhaps you can contact your clan, Herald, they may have legends that may offer a solution.”

“That is highly doubtful, Seeker.” She tensed at his tone, knowing he was about to insult the Dalish. “As far as I am aware the Fade Walkers have kept knowledge of themselves from those on this side of the Veil. I highly doubt the Dalish would have any information on them outside of tales. And, I would be wary of sending an elf who was not Dalish into their midst.” All eyes had gone to him. He was still leaning over the Templar holding one of his lids open and examining it.

“The People would welcome her!” The Herald said defensively, stiffing her arms almost childishly.

“I can only speak from my own experience.” He leveled his gaze at her and she felt his eyes bore into her own, they searched for something. “When she is unable to provide them with the information they want, how will she be treated? I have expressed before, the concern she is perhaps growing wilder as time passes. She seemed to have fallen into Uthenera in the Fade and dreamed of a world much different than our own; but civilized enough to give her speech. She developed enough of a moral center to understand the value of one’s words and keeping them.” 

“Maker’s Breath! I need to attend meetings outside of the war room more often. When did you discuss this?” Cullen interjected.

“Yesterday, after the incident in the kitchens. It was more important to focus on closing the Breach. Though I had not heard his conclusions,” Leliana eyed the Herald at this, “I asked Solas and the Herald to wait until we were successful before speaking of it.” Leliana’s cool words didn’t break the staring match between the elves.

“Do you have more information Solas?” Cassandra clearly alarmed by this new bit of information.

“I do.” He stated simply.

Cullen took in a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with his palms. “Perhaps it can wait until tomorrow? She is asleep and likely will not wake after the healers forced that sleeping draught down her throat.” 

“Sleeping draught?” The Herald, Solas, and Cassandra asked at the same time.

“I had the healers sedate her. She was thrashing around so badly that she couldn’t –“

“Amber!” Solas interrupted.

The group turned to look at the sleeping woman. She was propped up on her elbows staring up at them. Her chest heaved with the effort of her breath.

Solas had been the first to move. The Herald watched as the woman licked her dry lips and attempted to speak. She tried but seemed to only choke on the very air. He crouched next to her and reached out to her hand. The Herald’s eyes narrowed in on the act. His hold was gentle and he patted the top of her hand softly. She felt a pang of jealousy grip her chest at the action.

“Easy- Da’len. In and out.” He breathed in a breath and let it out as an example. She nodded and did the same. It looked painful as she scrunched her face and forcefully pulled air into her lungs.

“What is wrong with her?” Leliana had stepped up next to her and watched the two with a critical eye.

“The air without the Breach seems to be too thick.” He stated as he watched the elf try to catch her breath.

“Too thick?” Cullen’s tone was suspicious.

“She has been in the Fade for most of her life, even if she was asleep. When she arrived she was close enough to the Breach its influence seems to have been potent enough that she was able to be comfortable on this side of the Veil.” He had turned his head to address the Commander.

“The Fade affected her, this far away? Could it have affected us all? The Mages?” The Herald was almost as unnerved by the information as the Seeker.

“I was able to cast with much more ease closer to the Breach. I would postulate the other mages found that information true as well. The Fade was bleeding out from the Fade there. It is not a far stretch to reach such a conclusion.” He had shifted to face the Seeker from his crouched position.

“That is… disturbing?” The Herald added.

“Very much so...” Cullen’s weariness seemed to have returned seven fold.

“I would like to watch over her for the next few days. I fear she may be more affected by the lack of the Breach than we were by the presence of it.” He had turned back to Amber who was listening to the conversation, unable to speak. Her eyes cut to the spilled glass of water on the floor. Solas followed her eyes and turned to retrieve the cup fill it up again to give her a drink. The Herald watched as she tried to drink it down quickly.

“Slowly.” He held the cup pulling it back so she couldn’t drink too much. She caught a glimpse of the concern on his face and the knife in her chest twisted again. 

“You said she had a sleeping tonic?” Cassandra asked.

“Yes. I will place a guard outside the tent.” Cullen’s gaze never left Amber who was barely listening. “Perhaps we should restrict her access in Haven?”

“You can’t be serious?” Solas was incredulous.

“Let’s all take a step back.” Leliana placed her hand on the Herald’s shoulder as she spoke. “We accomplished much today. Cassandra, join me for a drink?” The warrior nodded and the two of them strode out of the tent. The Commander gave the strange elf one last worried glance and bid them good evening and strode out, presumably to celebrate as well.

Solas placed the empty glass back on the dresser. “I will get some more water for you Da’len.” He turned to the Herald and met her eyes. “I would then join you for that drink, Herald.” He gave her a rare smile and she flushed.

“I would like that.” She had looked over his shoulder to answer, keeping the other woman in eye shot to catch her reaction. The Herald wanted to gloat when the invalid stiffened and frowned, but resisted the cruel action. Solas strode through the door as she tried to be nonchalant about watching him walk away.

When she turned her focus back to Amber she found a stern glare. She was almost uncomfortable under the eerie black rimmed gaze. Instinct kicked in at that and she wanted to stake her claim on the apostate. 

With a sudden flare of confidence as she looked on the woman, she grabbed up a chair and sat it next to her. She met the then confused look. “Amber, I am glad you are alright.” Her faces smoothed over as she listened to the Herald speak, “When you are able to function, you will need to find something you can do to help the Inquisition. I know things have not gone well for you here, but we have other things to worry about.”

Understanding and then anger crossed over the brunette’s features. She opened her mouth to reply. She was only able to force out a harsh grunt, and closed her mouth to thinned lips.

“And you will have to stop relying on Solas. He has important duties. And now that the Breach is sealed he will need to assist us in catching whoever did this.” The confidence grew as her apparent rival’s inability to respond left the floor for her to speak. “Also,” She picked up the glass that still had a bit of water in it and wet her mouth. “Solas doesn’t need you hanging on to him like a sh-human noblewoman does her lord.”

The women locked their eyes. She hoped her confidence and dominance showed in the look on her face. She wanted the woman to back off what she wanted to claim.

Amber took in a deep breath and with much effort ground out, “He’s my friend.”

She felt a smirk pull up half her mouth and stated coolly, “And only your friend.” She stood smoothly, the elation of having bested Amber brimmed just underneath her skin. When the late afternoon sun hit her, she let a full smile appear on her face. She, as quickly as she could, made to meet Solas at the tavern.

************************************************************************************************************

At this point, she wouldn’t be able to sleep if they pumped her full of Ketamine. She forced a deep breath to grate its way into her lungs and pushed herself off the cot.

Movement was hard, like she was swimming in mud and breathed in liquid. It took entirely too long to push the heavy canvas back and step out into the jovial setting that was Haven. Templars, towns folk, and mages danced and drank and sang. No one noticed her stumbling as there were many who staggered through the streets of Haven. She wondered around the town and watched with ever growing sadness as they all celebrated the one thing she mourned; a whole sky.

She tried to keep her eyes from trailing up to the scarred sky, but it was an automatic action. She wanted to cry every time she noticed how the clouds curled oddly around nothing. She missed it, and would probably never see an opportunity to crawl into its welcoming green folds. Tears threatened to spill but she didn’t want to keep crying in Thedas. 

She reached a very foolish conclusion after she stumbled around for too long. She was going to get drunk and fight Harold. She wouldn’t let her take her only real friend. By the time she reached the tavern the sun was below the horizon. She paused and looked around Haven as the emptiness above her loomed. She spotted Harold standing above the town positioned next to the Red Head’s tents.

As the Seeker’s figure walked up next to her she realized just how important Harold was to these people. What her position as, whatever it is she was to them, began to sink into Amber’s slow denial and penetrated into her brain. A wave of nausea hit her. She would never be that. She would never project ‘leader’ like that, could probably never beat her. 

She let the hand that had reached for the tavern door fall and began to sullenly make her way back to the tent. As she walked bells began to ring and people began to run and yell. The jovial atmosphere was gone. Her eyes were drawn to a gathering at the front gates. All the significant people in Haven had gathered there. And after a few moments, banging could be heard on the front gates.

Harold rushed forward and guards opened the doors. The Commander followed her out. Amber moved to step closer but firm hands gripped her arms. “Come on, elf. Let’s get you to the Chantry!” The blonde Templar Tanner shouted. She found herself over a shoulder and bounced as the Templar ran for the biggest building in Haven. When they reached the inside, Tanner was placed her out of the way in the shadows close to the door. She sat there, winded, and watched as people ran into the depths of the building.

After waiting for what seemed like forever, they all seemed to have come inside. Most unessential persons had been moved down stairs and Amber delighted that she might have been forgotten. She watched everything from her corner in the shadows.

The tall, handsome, and dastardly mustached man that had rushed into the Chantry with a group of servants, now followed a monk from the back of the building. The latter man struggled with his footsteps as a guard rushed forward and pushed open the massive wooden doors.

“Move! Keep going! The Chantry is your shelter!” He shouted tiredly.

Harold and company rushed through the doors, and a few seconds later the monk was being helped back inside by the taller man. The doors were closed behind them quickly. Her eyes had locked on Solas and she desperately wanted to stretch out her Aura and tell him where she was but she paused when he stopped to look over Harold. They didn’t exchange words he just let his eyes go over her and then rushed into the deeper parts of the building. They had held something Amber didn’t like. 

The man who held the monk spoke to Harold then. “A brave man. He stood against the Venatori.” Amber’s eyes scanned the monk, his lips were dark and eyes sunk in. He held his side where blood seeped out. The scent of candles over powered the coppery scent of blood.

“Briefly. I am no Templar.” They moved to a pillar close by. The tall man pulled a chair up and helped the monk to sit as the Commander rushed forward.

“Herald! Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us. There has been no communication, no demands. Only advance after advance.”

Amber watched as the tall man crouched and spoke, “There was no bargaining with the mages, either. This Elder One takes what it wants.” Amber balked slightly. _It?!_ “From what I gathered in Redcliff, it marched all this way to take your Herald.”

“If it will save these people, he can have me.” Harold stated. Amber tried to snort but the air was still too thick. _What a load of bullshit Harold!_

“An assassin might take you up on that. But this force has not seemed concerned about specifics.” The taller man retorted. “And such a promising start with the landslide.” He laughed. “If only trebuchets remained an option.” Amber thought that she might like this man and let a smile pull on her lips. But the Commander put her thoughts away quickly, “They are, if we turn the last of them to the mountains above us.” 

Amber felt her eyes go wide as Harold spoke, “We’re overrun. To hit the enemy we’d bury Haven.” _FUCK that!?_ she mouthed the thought unable to speak it. She could feel fear begin to claw its way up her belly and into her chest. A familiar soothing touch seeped into her skin as she tried to pull in enough air to make noises of protest. Solas was looking for her. She lightly grazed him with her own and he pulled back. Apparently he knew she would be in pain because of it. She winced at the lingering sharp ache as the conversation continued without her input. 

“…only to drop rocks on my head.” The taller man had moved to speak with Harold and the Commander. She pushed her pain aside to listen.

“Should we submit? Let him kill us?” The Commander challenged.

“Dying is typically a last resort, not first!” _Fuckin’ tell him Mustache!_ Amber could feel her heart beats pounding through her chest. “For a Templar, you think like a blood mage!” 

Amber’s mind stuttered on the last words. _Blood mage?_ she let her imagination conjure images of mages covered in blood on a battle field flinging spells and cutting people with swords of hardened blood. And another of a mage using people like puppets; like that episode of Avatar. _That sounds kinda neat! In a total mind control kind of way._ She tried to focus on the rest of the conversation but Solas had returned to the main area and made a bee line for her. The other’s followed him with their eyes; their conversation paused at his sudden appearance and their new awareness of their audience.

“There is a path.” The monk cut in. “You wouldn’t know it was there unless you…” The others turned to him and the conversation continued without her. 

“Are you alright Amber?” He said as he stepped up to her darkened corner. Harold, the only one still watching narrowed her eyes just as he stepped in front of her view and crouched down. She tried to speak but it was still too hard, so she just nodded. He moved to help her stand and she let him pull her arm over his shoulder.

She blushed when Harold stared with the others. “She must have shown me…” The monk continued and pulled Harold’s attention back. Solas found a nearby chair and sat her in it checking her over but listening as well.

“What about it, Cullen? Will it work?” Harold asked. 

“Possibly, if he shows us the path. But what of your escape?” Solas stilled at that. The hall had fallen silent. Amber’s eyes never left Solas as he turned to see Harold turned away.

“Perhaps you _can_ surprise the Elder One.” The tall man stated quietly as the Commander turned to take charge of the people down the stairs.

“Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry! Move!” His voice muffled as he moved towards the stairs. 

The tall mage helped the monk up as he spoke to Harold but Solas spoke to Amber and drowned out his words. “Follow the others, Da’len. Get to safety. I will  
find you once we catch up.” He waited for her to nod and then stood and followed Harold, Vivienne, Cassandra, Varric and Iron Bull out the door. 

Soon Amber was left alone as others rushed to get what they could down stairs. She stared at the closed doors and could hear fighting going on behind it. A loud clattering startled her and she jumped out of her seat. She didn’t have any thoughts. Just the desire to make sure Solas made it through this. It wasn’t a conscious decision she made to step out of the Chantry doors. 

Outside the night was a wash of hot and cold, red and white. Amber could smell blood on the wind, and fires sent a deceptively homey smell of burning wood at her. Her heart raced and her breath was labored more than ever. Her limbs still felt as if she trudged through a pool as she followed the path of dead robed people through the now empty streets of Haven.

By the time she had reached the party, Harold was finished turning the catapult to face the mountain behind Haven. She slipped behind some barrels at the mouth of the small paddock and watched the scene as hidden as she could. Dread filled her stomach and she zeroed in on Solas as he sent a fire ball at a frozen enemy and it shattered.

“Magic!” She mouthed. A light hearted awe entered her being. _Magic is real!!_ She had to laugh at herself. She had already seen him heal her. But this was way more amazing. The others moved toward him and she tensed ready to defend him but he only healed them.

A sound she had never heard before blasted overhead. She had to cover her ears and winced at the sharp pain it caused. She closed her eyes and missed when it swooped in and blew fire everywhere. An explosion sent debris flying, and when she pulled herself from the ground everyone else was gone. Harold pulled her own self from the ground.

Amber was about the run forward and help Harold when her eye caught on something in the flames. Her body froze as an old movie image flashed through her mind and the T-1OOO came walking out of the flames. She stared as an awful pricking crawled up her skin. Her Aura, tucked inside, bubbled and boiled painfully as Harold stood and faced the thing that was definitely not a Terminator. The tall man had been right it was an ‘it.’

Its body was elongated. Seven or eight feet tall even from where she stood. Her eyes’ sharp sight took in the details of its deformed corpse. It wore a long dark grey skirt and its chest held a piece of metal that covered its heart and esophagus. Its ribs spread out and stretched its skin over red stones embedded into its chest. A metal half cowl covered the right half of its head and red spikes jutted out of the left side of his face and from the right zagging under its jaw. Its absurdly large shoulder guards only accentuated its long arms and claw tipped fingers.

She gaped as the scene unfolded before her. Harold stood back up, only to have the dragon land and cut off her escape route and shaking the ground under her. She whipped around to watch it walk menacingly in her direction. Amber felt the hairs stand up on her body as she remained unnoticed. Its massive head reared into the sky and it let out a feeble but impressive cry. Amber swallowed in fear.

“Enough!” The Thing cried in a disturbingly deep and pleasant voice. It pushed on towards Harold, knocking her back with magic. “Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more.”

“What are you?!” Harold cried, her breathing ragged. She leaned over as if she was in pain. “Why are you doing this?”

“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are. What I was.” The Hellraiser Cenobite wanna-be stated. “Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt the Elder One! The _will_ that is Corypheus!” Its long arm extended. “You will kneel.”

“You’ll… You’ll get nothing out of me!” Harold screamed.

“You will resist. You will always resist. It matters not…” As the thing spoke it pulled something from its robes and lifted it. Amber’s eyes locked on to the object and she immediately recognized the orb. Solas had showed her it. Her heart swelled. All sound was blocked out and she felt the pieces click into place. Her eyes narrowed and dilated as she tucked in her chin, determined to retrieve it for him. For Solas. It lit red and Harold gripped her arm that held the mark she only marginally registered for the first time. The determined woman watched and waited for the best time, still unnoticed as she stood there.

“It is your fault ‘Herald.’ You interrupted a ritual years in the planning. And instead of dying you, stole its purpose. I do not know how you survived. But what marks you as ‘touched,’ what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.” The dragon began to close in on Harold. “And you used the Anchor to undo my work! The gall!”

Harold breathed in and swallowed, “What is this thing meant to do?”

“It is meant to bring certainty where there is none. For you, the certainty that I would always come for it.” The thing released the red magic, tucked the orb into the folds of his skirt, and moved forward.

Amber stared attentively as it grabbed Harold by the left arm and hoisted her into the air. “I once breached the Fade in the name of another,” Amber’s ears perked at this and she felt her lips pull back in a full toothed, baleful grin as it continued, it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. _The orb opens the Fade. Solas loves the Fade._ “…Empire, _in person_. I found only chaos…” 

The rest was drowned out by the instinctual calculations in Amber’s head as she waited to retrieve the orb. Harold flailed about as it spoke on. The thing’s voice droned on until finally it threw Harold right into the trebuchet. “The Anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” The dragon moved forward with the thing and Amber took this chance.

She shot forward, forcing her legs to move as fast as she could. Harold noticed but the enemy did not as it went on with more asinine words, “ …an unknowing rival. You _must_ die.” 

With no proper thoughts, she barreled around the dragon’s head, startling it, and into the thing. He stumbled forward as her hands somehow, by a miracle of God Himself, let her fingers grasp through the thin cloth and onto the orb. She, more deftly than she could have ever thought herself to be, pulled it from the pocket and tucked it into her chest. Her shoes gripped the dirt as she turned, and she shot forward. She didn’t look back as the thing righted itself and the dragon gave a giant angry bark. Elation flowed over her and her rictus grin turned to a jovial smile. She had her prize. 

“Fools!” She heard the thing shout angrily from behind her, and she could feel laughter as it bubbled up in her throat. It was cut short when she suddenly found herself falling forward. The hard fought for air was forced from her lungs as the orb pushed into her rib cage from the force of the ground. She tried to regroup quickly. Her eyes shot up to Harold’s and the two seemed to stare at each other for an eternity, in what could only have been a microsecond. Harold’s expression changed slowly from triumphant. Amber could have sworn later on that she could recount each muscle move the victory to defeat on the woman’s face. 

The subtle pull on her left leg brought reality crashing back in. “Fuck!” She shouted. Harold moved quickly and kicked the turn crank on the trebuchet. Amber felt the ground move underneath her as she vainly tried to grasp the dirt, snow, and what she would later recall to be entrails, with one hand. “No-no-no-no-no-no! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She chanted to herself desperately as she was dragged backwards. Her leg lifted and she squeezed her eyes shut still cursing as her body began to sway upside-down in the air.

“All who oppose me will perish.” Its voice stated right behind her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes and the orb tighter. Then a claw pierced her arm prying it from the orb as if it were nothing. The thing released it, but before she could regain her tight hold on the ball it was pulled from her grasp.

“NO!” She screamed and opened her eyes only to suck in another one as she came face to face with the Cenobite. 

“You will die, thief. You will all die.” He released her leg. She felt herself catch a draft. And she was now able to register they were very high in the air. The snow was covering Haven and moved quickly toward her estimated point of impact. She let out a blood curdling scream that was abruptly cut off by immense pain and rolling. Something pierced her side, and when she breathed in to scream in pain, snow and other things went in to her mouth and nose.

Suddenly it was over. Pain radiated through her body and she couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. She realized with absolute horror that she was buried under an avalanche. Panic was the least of her emotions.

*********************************************************************************************************

The Herald came to several hours later. She groggily sat up and looked about in the dark. Her mind swam with the events that had just happened but she pushed them down and took an assessment of her situation.

“I’m alive. That’s something.” The cold had seeped into her bones as she lay unconscious. She felt sure her arm was fractured, but probably not broken. All in all she had no other serious injuries. 

She sent up a prayer to Mythal. She sat for a moment and debated. Her Elvhen eyes strayed to the darkened ice cycles overhead. It was amazing they had not fallen on her as she lay there. “Thank you.”

Her feet ached and her legs were weak, but she could stand. She checked and by the Creators she had an elfroot potion left. She downed it and then looked around. She found the exit right away. The cold breeze was a welcome thing, for the moment. She turned around slowly and surveyed her entry point.

A large pile of snow filled the space. She was once again thankful to have survived. Lingering there would be stupid, so she turned for the exit. Just as she turned away from the tons of snow that didn’t cover her she noticed movement in the dark. She snapped her focus back to the pile and zoned in on it. 

“It’s an arm!” She gawked and tried to figure out how someone could be alive… “Amber!” She rushed forward and began to dig around the arm. The buried woman apparently noticed and the arm began to flail about frantically.

“I’m coming!” she shouted. “I will get you out!” And she dug for hours to get the woman’s head uncovered. At one point she had to stop and hold the hand to calm her.

When Amber’s eyes were uncovered they shot to the Herald’s own. She flinched at the sudden light. Her eyes were glowing, green as the Breach. The Herald resumed her digging at a slower pace as uncertainty filled her. She couldn’t look into the intense gaze for long, it was intense and she could feel it locked on her. The eerie green glow blotted out the distinction between the iris and the whites. It sent chills down her spine. Anger and fear radiated out from them.

When Amber’s mouth was uncovered she took a deep breath and let out a sob. “What took you so long?” The Herald felt a tinge of annoyance until the begging started. “Please! Please get me out!” The woman wailed. Her face was etched with torment, eyes still green. _How long has she been buried like that? What would have happened if I hadn’t seen her arm!?_ She gagged at the last thought, pushed the question away for another time, and resumed digging.

Amber was freed a very long time after that. When her torso had been liberated enough to free her hands she helped the process along. And when she pulled her second leg free she latched onto the Herald like a leech.

“Thank you!!” She sobbed. “I would have gone crazy!” The rest was lost in her wails.

She gave the woman time to collect herself, as much as she could. She had at least stopped sobbing, but the cold had moved in and she thought she heard movement down the exit tunnel.

“Let’s move Amber. We need to catch up with everyone. “ The woman only nodded and moved to stand.

That was when the Herald saw a large splinter sticking through her side. It was unbelievable. It went in through the back, and came out her stomach at a sharp horizontal angle. She didn’t seem to notice. Even when the Herald pointed it out, she just seemed to glance at it, not registering the wood sticking out of her.

They moved on with little more fuss. Amber insisting, “You’re crazy Harold.” She just let it go, though she noticed Amber never looked down. She had a distinct impression Amber deliberately didn’t do so.

They moved on in silence. As they walked, images of Amber working closely with Solas began to creep into her mind. The grating fact she had slept in his cabin, and possibly his bed. She tried to shake the inane thoughts away, now was definitely not the time for petty jealousy; but every time she glanced at her, unbidden images of the two kissing flooded her mind. She felt the anger and envy build up inside her.

Tears began to form in her eyes. She was distraught that even in this dire situation, stupid things like this bothered her still. She was twenty summers, _for Creators’ sake_ , she sucked in a breath at the thought and internally chided herself further. She bit her lip to refocus in time to catch the demons ahead.

“What the fuck are those?!” Amber did not whisper.

“Despair demons and a few wraiths.” She whispered tartly as she tried to be an example of stealth.

“Fuck that!” that curse did draw their attention and the Herald shot her a glare. The woman only shrugged back. 

“What is wrong with you?!” She could have sworn she had stomped her foot at that. “We can’t fight them you fool!” Realization dawned on the other woman’s face and the Herald only faced palmed. “We’ll have to make a run for it and hope we make it through. On three…”

Amber looked terrified as she began to count, “One.” The demons were making their way over to them spiting and growling. “Two, three!” She shouted in quick succession and the two shot forward. Only the demons were too close. Amber had somehow gotten further than she had, which she wouldn’t say she was sorry about, and screamed. All the demons locked on the noise. Her left hand sparked and pain shot through her arm. 

A pressure she hadn’t noticed was building up inside of her palm, like a dam on the Storm Coast. She raised her hand mindlessly and willed it to empty. It did; a rift opened up over the demons and retreating rival. She could only look on in horror, as all of them slowed down and began to be pulled back towards the rift. 

The Herald cringed a bit at the thought that the last image Amber had of her was dumbfounded immobility. It closed and the cavern was dark and quiet. A shiver went down her spine, her brow furrowed in conflict, and guilt moved through her. She could feel contrition ebb its way into her conscious. She had not moved to help Amber. _I didn’t even try._

A cold wind cut off her thoughts and she knew she would die if she didn’t keep moving. So, she pushed forward and came to the mouth of the cave. A storm raged outside, but she could see fires in snow. She followed them; and prayed to the Creators and the Maker, even a thought for Fen’Harel; for the strength to return to her people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience. Like stated before, I am doing this to work on my writing. So I don't want to put out something that I am not happy with. This was a lot of drafts from my original. 
> 
> As always thanks to Immerghensi, and comments, questions, concerns are welcome.


	27. Chapter 27

Amber stared at her brothers’ backs as they argued with the doctor. Jackson wore a dark pinstripe suit with expensive looking shoes; and Jason wore cutoffs, a Dallas hoodie, and expensive looking flip flops. Jackson had his chestnut hair groomed like a GQ model, and Jason’s was shoulder length and looked slightly dingy. Despite their differences, both carried an air of authority. Both were men of power. She almost felt sorry for the pale man she could see trying to explain why she needed to remain in the hospital for more tests.

She had woken up two days before with phantom pains in various places across her body, a distinct feeling that the world was wrong. A feeling of loss lingered in the furthest reaches of her conscious mind, and she had no memory of the trip to New York they insisted she had taken. Apparently, a fight had broken out and she had been pushed off the visitors’ area of the Empire State building. She was surprised with as much time was missing as a result of her head injury her brothers actively pursued her release. 

Before they had always been more cautious than most, especially after their mother had died. A memory skittered across mind. An eerily similar situation that revolved around birth control. Her body cringed as she remembered the doctor had watched her escorted out of his office with amused pity. She sighed heavily and returned her thoughts to what she had learned over the past few days.

They said she landed on a window washer’s scaffold a few floors down. The thought of that happening made her shiver. She had hit her head on some paint cans and had fallen into a coma that had lasted for months. The only thing she vaguely recalled was opening her front door to Brian after finals, and wondering how he had found her apartment.

That had continued to puzzle her. Along with how she had discovered herself in the company of her brothers in an El Paso hospital. She had been frightened when she first woke to find them lounging on either side of the bed she was laying in. Jackson buried in the New York Times and Jason laughing at Jerry Springer reruns. Neither of them asked her questions about where she had been, nor chastised her for her years long absence.

It had been unnerving at first, but she decided it was for the best. _Who am I to complain at avoiding uncomfortable truths?_ she snickered to herself in a desperate humor. Jason cast a light green-eyed glance back at her. He caught her eye and winked as Jackson crossed his arms and started a very sternly worded threat of legal action. She just nodded at Jason. He interjected an implied threat of violence as he looked back to the doctor, both clearly enjoying the situation. 

Jason was the more laid back of the two and it had only become more pronounced while she was gone. They had certainly embraced change, to her surprise. The two mirrors had grown enough that they now looked almost completely different from one another. It both saddened and encouraged her. She wasn't dumb enough to think changing your thoughts was as easy as changing your clothes and hair, but... _I might not have to leave again._

“So, we can be out of here by three p.m.?” Jackson asked with a smug tone a short while later.

“Yes, Mr. Argent. Though I still feel she should remain here for, at least, a few more days...” The doctor spoke with caution.

“Wonderful.” Jackson watched the doctor leave. Both ignored the recommendation, and Jason turned to Amber. He gave her a wide grin and broke into a bad impression of John Wayne. “We’re gettin’ ya outta here kid.”

She just nodded and let the waves of relief she almost surely would regret in the future wash over her. She hated hospitals. They smelled of Salisbury steak and cleaner, a very unencouraging pair. She pondered her situation as she dressed in new clothes they had provided for her.

A few hours later she was riding home in the back of Jason’s emerald green Corvair. She ignored the flare of pain up her back as the city of El Paso passed behind his dark tinted windows. The Eagles assisted as they serenaded the three of them with Desperado. She mouthed the words as her brothers sang out, and the three of them traveled across town to an upscale neighborhood on the west side of the Franklin Mountains State Park. The houses were fancy, and she lamented that they had given up on the crappy three bedroom apartments she had grown up in. They had made the upgrade only after she had left them. She cringed to think she had been holding them back.

They pulled through a gate into a nice drive. The house looked smaller than the others she had seen on the way, but was covered in balconies and outdoor decks. Jackson helped her out of the car and a deep breath that held a whiff of chlorine let her know a pool was hiding in the back. She couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips.

“There we go. Been hoping to see that since you woke up.” He led her into the nice house and she marveled at how long it had been since she had been in such an extravagant place. The inside was magazine worthy. _Probably already invited someone to take professional pictures._ A wave of weariness passed over her and she stumbled a little as he walked her through the kitchen door.

“Woah there, Nugget!” Jason was already rooting in the fridge as he watched her from above the bottom half of the refrigerator door.

She smiled weakly at the old endearment. “I am alright- just a little hungry.”

“I gotcha covered.” He smiled back and pulled out a carton of eggs. Jackson had retrieved plates from the cupboards and was placing them on the island. He looked up from his work and gave her an encouraging smile. She took a seat at one of the stools around the island.

“We set up a nice room for you upstairs. When we’re done eating, I’ll show you and you can shower and get some sleep.” 

“That sounds good.” She responded. A phone rang from somewhere outside of the kitchen. Jackson excused himself and left the room. The ringing stopped a short time later.

“How you doing?” Jason grabbed her attention as he started whipping up the eggs. The pan was on the stove heating.

“Alright considering.”

“Any major life events going on?” She stiffened uncomfortable with the direction he was going with his questions. 

“Not really.” Her tone was cautious. He turned to her after putting paprika in the eggs, with salt and chili pepper. _The way mom used to make it._ He stirred it again and poured the contents into the pan. The sizzle broke the silence.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?” Innocently.

“We care. And understand you needed to get away.” He stated. “You don’t have to be afraid that we’re going to drag you back.” He hadn’t looked at her as he spoke.

She sat and pondered his words a moment, weighing them. The two of them had lied to her before, and he most likely was lying then. But she was tired and emotionally strained. That feeling of loss needled at her chest. She chalked it up to her worry for her friend. 

Brian was the closest thing to a real social life she had come across in a long time, and the last time she remembered seeing him was before she woke up, apparently months later, in a hospital on the other side of the state.

She shrugged after she decided she didn’t particularly care anymore. _At least right now I don’t._ “I just graduated from the community college where I live.” She deliberately left out names of locations.

“Really?! What was your major?” He sounded pleasantly surprised as he glanced over his shoulder at her. 

“General Studies.” 

“Oh… Well, you planning on going to a University?”

“I don’t know. I was just glad to get that goal accomplished. So, I haven’t really planned on a next step yet.” She used her left index finger to turn the empty plate that sat in front of her. The sound of a spatula turning scrambled eggs was all she heard for a moment.

“Get it done!” Jackson’s angry voice came from another room. Jason turned to look at the door it had come from, his face expressionless. He stared at it for a few moments before his gaze cut to her. They locked eyes for a few long seconds, and she felt a fierce emotion well up between them. It was gone before her tired mind could identify what it had been. He turned and walked toward the table pan in hand.

“Well I think you should think about it.” He finally stated as he emptied the pan on a plate next to hers. “Jack and I wouldn’t mind helping you out.” He put the pan back on the stove with the used spatula. He then switched the oven off and stepped back to the table. 

Amber looked up into his face as he smiled down warmly at her. Her thoughts turned to her lonely and small apartment. She didn’t want to go back there. _Not really. But…_

“No pressure, Amber.” That warm smile still full and bright. She gave him an unconfident half smile in return.

Jackson walked into the room at that moment. He was agitated and walked straight to the refrigerator. He grabbed a few bottles of beer and an orange juice from inside and opened his by knocking the top on the edge of the island. He sat the other beer in front of the plate her left and the orange juice in front of her. Both sat down simultaneously on either side of her.

Jason dished out the eggs to each of them, leaving enough for himself on his own plate. “Dig in!” The three of them took the next long while to eat their meals of scrambled eggs. Her brothers would both look up at her and smile, yellowish white lines of egg juice falling down their chins. The whole thing reminded her of a simpler time when they were young and whole. With such a familiar scene playing out around her she felt what tension that lingered fade away. 

She wouldn’t have to worry about being alone to deal with people finding out about her tattoos or her past beliefs and activities. She no longer had to worry about finding just anybody to hang out with. One of her weights lifted. It was a heavy one. One she had felt ever since she had slipped out the front door at two o’clock in the morning five years before, and it was gone. _I want this to be like this forever._ She let herself sigh contentedly and continued to eat her eggs.

It was weird. She had run from them. They had been wrapped up in their careers as fighters in an underground fighting organization and the ‘coup’ they pulled on their ‘manager’. She had lived with them through most of it. _They must have retired._ She thought hopefully as she paused in her eating to watch Jason shovel a spoonful into his mouth. 

“You alright, Nugget?” Jackson asked from her right. She turned and looked at him, his plate was already empty.

“Yeah, just thinkin’.” She pushed a stray crumb into the diminishing pile of spice speckled eggs on her plate.

“About what?” Jason said after chasing the last mouthful of his portion with a long drink. They both watched her as her mind ran through the things she sort of wanted to tell them.

“You don’t have to hold back Amber.” Jackson encouraged.

She settled on the least familial problem she had at that moment, “I’m just unnerved that the last thing I remember is opening my door to someone I know didn’t have my address. And then I woke up months later, across state, in a hospital with people who shouldn’t have known where I live.” She didn’t want to finish her eggs. The breach of a serious topic had cut her appetite short. “And I am told I was in New York and don’t remember the trip.” Her brothers shared a glance over her head.

“That would be unnerving.” Jackson stated eyeing her plate.

“Just a little.” Jason tried to inject a little levity.

“How did you find me?” She asked surprising herself with her light tone.

Jackson reached over and picked up her plate. Jason watched her, and deliberated his words. Jackson scraped what was left on her plate to his own. He stayed silent and started eating her leftovers.

“The hospital called us.” Jackson stated simply as he stood and took the empty plates to the sink. She let his words sink in as her breaths quickened.

“What?”

“You still have us as your emergency contacts.” Jason said out of the side of his full mouth. She watched as a small bit of egg fell to the plate.

“Oh…” She suddenly felt stupid… and paranoid. _I can’t believe I thought they were keeping tabs on me!_ She had put them down on the papers with the thought she didn’t want them to not know when she had died.

“Yeah we were surprised when we got the phone call.” Jason continued.

“And pleased.” Jackson added.

“I had forgotten, but it makes sense. I mean, you’re still my only family.” Amber stated after turning her eyes to the afternoon sky out the large window above the sink.

“How about a nap?” Jackson stated as he stepped up to the island again.

‘’It’s like five thirty, Jack.” She shot to him.

“And you just woke from a coma.” His tone patronizing. “But you still need real rest.” 

“I am _fine_.” She insisted. Jackson just gave her stern paternal look. 

“When have we been wrong about things like this?” 

“I’m almost thirty.” She stated unamused.

“Twenty-seven is not almost thirty.” Jackson remarked with an amused tone. 

“Still an adult.” She grumbled.

“Don’t start. Remember we will always see you as our little sister.” 

“What’s your point? I am still a legal adult and have been making my own deci-”

“How about: Let’s watch a movie.” Jason interrupted. His brother gave a bothered glance but agreed. Amber didn’t want to argue and the three moved to the spacious living room. She sat in the middle of the long black leather couch and pulled the pink throw from the back. Jason selected a seemingly random movie from the large book shelf against the far wall, and placed it in the player as Jackson took a seat on her right.

She took stock of that exact moment. She was happy. Truly happy for the first time in a long time. Happier than she had been after Brian had befriended her. _Feels like I’m home._ She smiled at the thought. A dull ache began to creep up her arm as she relaxed herself deeper into the comfortable couch. And that feeling of loss and being off kilter flared, but she didn’t want to ruin the moment so she shoved that down and watched Jason work. Jackson smiled at her as he set his newly acquired beer on the coffee table.

The unsettling tones of the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey came from the theater system. She sent an accusing look at Jason as he smiled smugly and sat on her other side. “You plan on boring me to sleep?” Jason gave her a sly grin and the three cuddled as the movie started. She nodded of quickly, and her brothers smiled up at each other triumphantly.

Her sleep was interrupted by a loud voice. She sat up in a bed she didn’t recognize. The sky outside the large plate glass doors was dark. She was breathing heavily as fear roiled through her. She was certain she had had a nightmare, though she remembered none of it. 

‘…nas …lin’ Amber stilled at the now faint voice. Her sharp eyes peered through the dark room. They faltered on a slight difference in the darkened corner farthest from the moon lit doors. She stared intently at the blacker bit of nothing that was protected by the obviously antique bureau and the wall as she held her breath.

One by one three sets of glowing green eyes opened in the pitch-black corner. Her heart thundered in her chest and she opened her mouth to suck in a large breath. But before the breath was fully in her lungs the door to the room burst open and both her brothers barged in.

“Amber!” They yelled at the same time. Jason, in boxers, rushed toward her and robe clad Jackson wielded a handgun at the corner of the room. The light came on and she flinched in the brightness. 

Before she regained her sight. Someone pulled her into their arms and held her. The adrenaline that ran through her body was in full force and the only response she had was tears. So, she breathed in the comforting scent of her brother Jason and sobbed.

“It’s alright. Shhhshsh.” He pet her and held her close as he spoke in tones too low for her to understand in her bowled over position.

This went on for a good hour before she wore herself out enough to sleep. Jason laid her back on the pillows and covered her with the comforter. He then made to leave but she pulled his hand closer to her and mumbled something about him staying. He did, but he was gone when she woke up again. 

She felt as tired as she had during the movie, but she didn’t want to miss anymore of life today, so she pulled herself out of bed. She searched the drawers and, as expected, she had a good assortment of clothes in her size. She selected a pair of dark jeans and a grey UT T-shirt and began to dress.

Amber pulled her music player from her pocket and plugged it in. Her mind wandered as she slowly removed her dirty clothes. It latched onto that feeling she couldn’t seem to shake. Loss and the world was off. It nipped at the back of her mind as well. The incident last night was still clear in her head and she shivered as her eyes shot to the corner the phantom had been in. Her feet moved more quickly than they would have, had she not thought of the incident, grabbed her music, and was out the door closing it loudly behind her.

Jason was in the kitchen pouring out a bowl of cereal as she found her way there. “You alright, Nugget?” He set the bowl in front of an empty chair and made himself another.

“No, still tired. What was that last night?” She slid into the chair before the bowl and poured milk from the pitcher on the island into her cereal.

“What are you talking about?” He said in an unconvincing tone.

“Don’t be stupid. What happened? And where’s Jack?” He sighed at her insistence, and gave in. More quickly and with more detail than she had really wanted him to.

“Someone, who doesn’t like us found out you came back to town and tried to play a trick on you.” He stated. “And Jack went to take care of it.” She stilled, his seriousness was all she needed to guess.

“You two are still in the Underground?” Her eyes stayed on him as he sat across from her.

“We had hoped we could spend a little more time with you, without having to address the elephant.” He threaded his fingers and watched her over his hands. “We don’t have that luxury.”

She felt something in her break as she watched a familiar business man posture overtake his laid-back happiness. Those phantom pains flared up in more specific areas than before. Her right breast, the lower part of her right arm near her wrist, and her left leg just below the knee. She pushed the pain aside to address the emotional pain she was feeling. “You’re both still involved with all that?” She could cry, again.

“Of course. We never quit, never intended to do so. At least not until we wanted to retire. This,” He gestured to indicate the house at large, “Was set up for you, distinctly. We want you to stay somewhere we can keep our own eyes on you, rather than having to rely on people who think it is a good idea to do things we would disapprove of, or would use you against us.”

She looked down at her cereal. _A waste._ She thought so, because she wasn’t going to eat it. Her arm felt like needles had skewed her in various place. And her torso felt twisted and gnarled. 

“Eat.” She could tell he was trying not to command her.

“I lost my appetite.” She pushed the bowl away from her and let her eyes slide up to his stern visage. The two of them stared at each other for a long silent minute. She watched the agitation grow on his face until it was anger.

“Amber,” Jason said in a false calm tone. “Amber you need to grow up.” She narrowed her eyes at that. “You need to grow up and face the realities of life.”

“I do face reality!” Her sadness changed to anger.

“No. You haven’t. You’ve been running from reality for five years. It’s time to get with the program and do what needs to be done.”

“What are you talking about? I have been doing what it takes to make a life for myself. I graduated from college.” She shot back, and put every ounce of pride she could behind her small degree

“ _Community_ college.” His tone was cold.

“Fuck. You.” She stood and turned to leave.

“There you go again.” Her shoulders stiffened at the accusation and she turned back. “Sit down. Face reality and do what needs to be done.” The faint sound of the front door came from outside of the room as the two stared at each other.

“Jay! They found him! He’s on the first flight here. The Irish got him!” She watched as Jason relaxed slightly. “Jay?” 

As her other brother stepped in the atmosphere tensed even more. Jackson’s shoulders sagged slightly as he took in the situation. “Well that’s just great.”

“I am going to my room.” She turned and refused to respond as they both called her name. The unfamiliar stairs swayed beneath her feet and she paused, closing her eyes to wait out the nausea. A set of stormy blue eyes fluttered behind her lids.

A calm and strangely familiar voice sounded around her, as if from a long way away. “…ake up.” She felt as the cream carpet of the stairs touched her knees. The comforting lilting voice wrapped around her mind. “Wake up, Da’len.” Her eyes snapped open and her hand went straight to her ear.

“I know you.” She whispered dazedly as her fingers felt the round tipped ear. _It’s not supposed to be like that._ She scrunched her face in confusion at the thought.

“Amber!” Jason’s concern came up behind her. She abandoned her train of thought and turned him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Just… Just tired.” She shook her head lightly to clear fog that had overcome her mind. _I’m supposed to be mad at them._

“You don’t look alright.” He had started to reach for her.

“I’m fine!” She pushed his hands away and turned around. She most definitely didn’t want to talk to either of them and started up the stairs. _I haven’t even been back a week!_. Tears fell, again.

“Why can’t I stop crying?! I do nothing but cry! No wonder he doesn’t see me as an adult.” She had mumbled the last part and paused. It hadn’t sounded right. Something was off about what she was saying. _He, who?_ She recounted her conversation with Jason and some of the information clicked into place.

She felt a chill go up her spine. The trip to New York could have been real. The fall as well. The only person she would consider going with, outside of her family, would be Brian. He had been nice during class, and had attempted to help her with her homework for their shared class. And her loneliness would likely drive her to follow almost any suggestion he had to spend time together.

Her thoughts skipped from one possibility to the other. Why would he take her to New York? How had he found her apartment? She was very circumspect in who she gave detailed information about herself to. She knew she was fond of Brian, but not to the point in which she would invite him over, not yet anyway.

_”…rather than having to rely on people who think it would be alright to use you against us.”_ The words flashed through her mind and a pit developed in her stomach. She really didn’t want to think about that, but the possibility that Brian had been sent to find her was real.

In an attempt to drown out those thoughts, she stood from her place on the bed and pulled her music player out of her pants pocket. Another moment of confusion glanced through her mind at how it had come to be in her pocket. The thoughts clashed with her sanity and she shoved the ear buds in her oddly shaped ears. The musings of Tool drowned out the rest of her thoughts into dreamless sleep.

She woke a few hours later with the same intense fear she had had the night before. Her eyes shot out the large windows to find the twilight fading away. Her breaths were quick and nausea crawled up her stomach as sharp pains seared across the skin of her torso. 

Amber flipped over quickly and pulled her shirt up to look at the skin. Sure enough, read welts covered her stomach. Weird loops and dots were scrawled across her belly and chest. Her eyes went wide as a sharp pain started near her diaphragm and more welts rose before her eyes. 

Loud pounding footsteps coming up the stairs, and she began to heave breaths. She watched as the welts stretched to the curve of her waist and the burning continued to the middle of her back. Her eyes involuntarily moved to the corner that the phantom had appeared in the night before. She stilled when she saw faint green ovals blink at her. The door burst open and the eyes were gone.

Jason moved to her side again eyes locked on her stomach, as Jackson moved to physically examine the corner. “How did you know it was in that corner?”

Jackson didn’t look to her and took a few moments to answer. “Just did.” He turned an angry gaze at her. “You need to stay up here. We have company.”

“What?! Are you crazy > I don’t want to be alone in here anymore!” She covered her belly and pushed herself into a sitting position despite the lingering pain.

“Then move to one of our rooms.” Jason suggested. “Just don’t come down stairs.” His eyes moved to the corner Jackson stood examining

“Why can’t I go down stairs!?” She pushed. Frustrated and scared, not wanting to be alone.

“We have to conduct business and someone thought it would be a good idea to do it here.” Jackson’s angry business tone answered and cast a sharp glance to his brother.

Jason stood and adjusted his tie. “We will look at those welts in the morning.”

“I’m fine!”

“That wasn’t a question or a suggestion.” The two left without another word. She was irritatingly grateful they left the door open. 

With a scowl on her face she moved from her room quickly. She found the door with a circular black wooden plaque on it, with Jason’s name in bold script. She sighed deeply and opened the door only to stop still in shock. 

The sheer amount of red, black, and white hurt her eyes. She didn’t bother stepping inside. Only stepped back and closed the door. Hatred ran deep with her brothers. She shivered at the feeling of being watched and moved forward to the door across the hallway. 

On this door, Jackson’s name was etched in a shiny black ink, on a fine white card, in an elegant hand. She took a deep breath and walked into a black hole. Various shades of the color surrounded her. Even the carpet was black. Like one of those all white rooms in psychological movies. She would not be able to become comfortable in the sterilized room, but it was better than the alternative.

She sat in the black desk chair and stared at the black wall. A sense of Deja vu closed in on her and she realized that she wanted to run again. The two had changed, yes. Had embraced it. But the change had been to embrace their vices not their virtues. She felt an infuriating tear fall down her cheek and stood up.

The silent padding down the steps was a blessing. It counteracted her booming heart. There seemed to be a large number of people in the house. At the bottom of the stairs she looked down the hall toward the den. She could see several people standing and staring at something out of sight. A loud cheer sounded suddenly, causing her to jump. She, thankfully, didn’t make a sound. She looked to the front door and back to the room. She wanted to just walk out, but the other part of her told her to go and see what was going on. So, like every dumb girl in every horror flick she had forced herself to watch, she went to look.

…which, of course, was a mistake. 

“…..he would marry her and claim a piece of our market.” Jason gave an incredulous laugh over the semi jovial den. Her heart sped up.

_Marry Me?!_ Flashes of her friend getting down on one knee crept through her mind, then watching a small box fall a long, long way.

She crept up to the opening and noticed the room definitely held a large number of people. A clear number never came to her, because a familiar face shed tears on the T.V. screen. 

Brian was laid out exactly like Mr. Wade Terrance March. Like that terrible night at her first ball, a man lie naked on a silver table. Eyes staring out of the screen of a T.V. 

Only this time her brothers weren’t shielding her from the view, and they were maybe ten minutes farther along than when she last saw Mr. March. Whatever she had eaten that day tried to come up but she pushed it down and backed up slowly.

No one noticed, or had decided not to stop her, as she silently opened the front door and tiptoed out. She walked quickly down the street in her rumpled clothing, and didn’t stop for hours. She looked over her shoulder once, a brief wave of grief and loss threatened to cripple her before she pushed it back down, turned away and moved on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive the long wait and the short chapter. This chapter and the subsequent ones with her in El Paso were/are _hard_ for me to write for some reason... mentally. Couple that with personal issues and you get me scrapping together time to think and write. 
> 
> Thanks for waiting, and reading y'all!!
> 
> As always comments, questions, and critiques are welcome.
> 
> Thanks to Immerghensi a thousand times!!!


	28. Chapter 28

The water splashed over her and she spat it out. She had been in the middle of a sneeze when the car had passed by, through the large torrent of water draining to the tunnels beneath the city. She glared at it as it sped around the corner. 

It had started raining as soon as the sun was fully covered by clouds and had not stopped in the hours since. Amber grumbled as she vainly shook out her wet clothes, no longer needing to try to stay out of the rain. A shiver ran down her spine and she shot a look to the roof tops. There was nothing there but the lingering feeling that eyes were on her- she’d had it all morning. She let herself scan the area. 

The only thing of interest was a black German Shepperd looking dog that sat in the mouth of the alley way across the street. She stared at its strangely glowing green eyes. Her face scrunching in confusion. It blinked at her and she felt herself suck in a wet breath when four more than she had anticipated opened. Her own eyes widened with recognition. She stepped back, away from the cross walk. The six-eyed beast stood up and stepped. She blinked and it stood before her.

Horror paled her face and she took off running. Her pace only faltered when she thought she heard deep laughter. That faltered step sent her careening into a telephone pole and she almost blacked out when she hit the ground, and instantly were at her shoulder where it throbbed. Her mind flashed to the reason she had run, the glowing six eyes, and immediately looked about her. The creature was no longer there. She pulled herself off the ground and started moving again.

That had been the creature from her room, she was sure of it. It had followed her. She watched her surroundings more closely as she traveled down the seedier streets of El Paso. She sighed heavily and rubbed at her aching shoulder. A great sadness welled up inside of her as the fatigue doubled.

“How did I get here?” She asked herself despondently. She thought about her life until that point. Leaving here home because of a sudden change of heart had left her alone. She had tried to be a decent person, but people were unforgiving of some sins even when you tried to do better. She had spent five _years_ of her life attempting to support herself and give to charities. She had no life outside of work and school. The only thing she had accomplished was a degree that had been a waste of time and no family or friends.

She remembered the despondent look on Bryan’s face as he was displayed on that screen. He had done it to himself, but he had still been her best friend after she had changed her life. He was the only person who had attempted to get to know her. Who had given her the chance to talk about her past and how she had let people fall beneath her family’s climb to the top. Sometimes in the most heinous ways.

And then he was gone. She had nobody left. Her brothers would accept her but she could not accept them. Some things change. They never would. She knew them too well to hope for that outcome. So, there she was sitting up against a building in the bad part of town crying in a pathetic pity party. 

Blue eyes and a flesh memory of strong arms around her crept up into her head. A soft voice whispering in a language she didn’t recognize. Her mind grasped at the memory. And just as she was about to grab hold of it, a horn screeched across from her and she jumped. She startled loudly and took a few moments to catch her breath. A strange haze settled over her mind.

She shoved her active thoughts away and, unable to dispel the haze, used the wall to pull herself up. Her eyes flashed over the area. This was a more populated part of the city, so there were more people walking around. She joined the sparse crowd just in time to notice the pick pocket. It was a kid, who looked around twelve years old with stringy black hair. Her brown eyes scanned the area around her and she startled when she noticed Amber staring at her intensely.

She didn’t run. She didn’t put the wallet back either. Amber watched as the young girl deliberated and then stepped up and around her target. She sped her steps and followed her. It had been easy to keep her in view. She was the shortest person around, so Amber didn’t miss when she ducked into an alleyway. She followed suit.

“Why are you following me?” The girl asked hidden behind the blue dumpster that stood alone in the uncommonly clean alleyway.

Amber didn’t say anything. The girl’s feet were visible from the other side of the high seated dumpster and they shifted nervously. 

“Why did you follow me?” She asked again, more anxiously. Amber felt the tension rising in the open alley. A deep breath sounded and the feet carefully moved to the end of the dumpster. A grey hoodie peeked out from behind the dumpster and they locked eyes for a moment. “What do you want?!” 

_What_ do _I want?_ She only stared as she watched the girl grow more uncomfortable and fidget. When the girl finally retreated, Amber didn’t register it. She just let her eyes stare. The rock hit her in the chest and she gasped as she stepped away from it. The girl’s echoing footsteps ran off into oblivion. She watched her form as she calmed from the startle.

“What do I want?” She mused allowed as she turned back to the street only to come face to face with the giant, black, six-eyed creature. Her breath caught and her feet backed her up automatically.

‘ _Thenas fenlin._ ’ The voice was deep, gentle, and coaxing but Amber was already scrambling away. When she got to her feet she bolted down the same path the thief had taken. She looked over her shoulder to find it still sitting there, watching her. 

The sky tore further and the rain pounded harder. She had to take refuge in a boarded stoop. Her eyes nervously jittered around the area and watched for her stalker. Her mind was rife with the events of the past day. Her brothers had killed her friend. They had sent him to find her. She thought back on their time together and everything seemed to click into place.

He had been a little too like them. His humor, mostly. He knew just what to say to make her laugh. And that is why she had been attracted to him and comforted by his presence. “Hind sight is always twenty/twenty.” She gave herself a derisive laugh and continued to watch the down pour as her thoughts progressed. 

He had known so much about the things she liked. Her favorite place to get take out. Her favorite movie theater. He had taken the opportunity to order food for her a few times and he had guessed what she might like every time. It had been charming. And she had been foolish to believe it.

Her mind wound back further. To the days before she had grown a conscious. She had participated in some brutal acts. The beatings which she had abetted. Looking the other way. _That’s a nice way of putting those little tidbits._ She listed off her callous attitude toward those around her. The short jibes at someone’s wife or children, intended to hurt. The slurs, she had once had a very egalitarian view on hate, just like Jason. 

She winced as she remembered the confused and tear stained faces of the women who would walk through their apartment after certain nights. Celebratory and consolatory. She had never let herself gather more information about her brothers’ “dates” then that. A flash of pain erupted deep inside her brain. She was in a dark alley lit by a bright green light. A petite woman was sprawled across a dark surface. Her face was filled with dawning horror as a dark flower bloomed across her belly.

The pain gripped her mind again and the image was gone. She was on all fours throwing up as the rain pounded down even harder. She looked up from the puddle of yellow bile. The rain was too heavy to see through but she stood. She had been a useless waste her whole life, waiting for it to change on its own. Amber felt tendrils of despair crawling up into her mind but pushed it back down. She used her sleeve to wipe away the sick and pulled herself off the ground.

She limped, her limbs were heavy as her thoughts meandered slowly across the mess that was her life. She hadn’t made it ten feet before she bumped into another person and stumbled. The person cursed at her as they also fell to the ground.

She looked up and found an angry face staring back at her. His deep brown eyes were set back in his dark chocolate skin. He hid behind a large grey beard and a rain drenched UT hood, like her own. She opened her mouth to apologize, but he beat her with his own response.

“What the hell?!” His voice was deep, raspy. “Watch were you’re going, stupid bitch!” Amber shut her mouth and stood. He watched her as she did so, anger etched into the wrinkles of his face. She reached out her hand and he stared at it. And then spit on it. 

Amber felt a dry heave at the thought of the loogie on her skin. The man stood on his own and pushed her to the ground before rushing off again. She fell and hit her head on the wall. The pain was just as sharp as it always was, and she felt the tears begin to well up. 

“No.” She stated under her breath and the tears subsided. She pushed herself up and wiped the disgusting mucus on the pavement. And sniffled, a gag at the memory of the feel of it on her skin. She stood and looked around a light was on in the grocery store up on the right. She made her way to it as quickly as she could.

It was warm inside, despite the soaked, clinging clothes. The rain seeped in underneath the automatic sliding doors and puddled about five feet inside. There were three cashiers working in the dim lights, all of whom turned to look at her when the doors opened. She moved to the bench at the front of the store and fell into it.

Her pants were cold on her rear and she shivered. She cast a quick glance around and caught the eye of a guy in a suit with a name tag. _The manager._ She spared him only a moment’s notice before fatigue had her resting her head on the window behind her. She wasn’t going to sleep but she needed a rest from the rain.

It pounded on the window, the sounds of passing cars muffled by the thick glass. She let her mind focus on that sound. She let images of her thoughts pass through her mind as she did so. A review of her actions thus far. She let the images sink in.

“I’ve done nothing but run.” She thought her voice sounded incredulous. But she only felt a slight sense of realization. “My whole life.” She felt something start to bubble up inside her. When it reached her chest, she felt a small giggle start. The irony of her situation dawning on her.

She couldn’t sit there forever. She couldn’t continue to run from things. She had to do something. Anything. She couldn’t change if she didn’t face reality. The small slightly hysteric giggle only evolved into a snicker and then subsided. She ignored the wary glances from the stores occupants and moved to wipe the drips from her face.

She took in her surroundings. The lights seemed brighter, not just because of the storm outside. More people had trailed into the store, and the dour faces of the occupants had become somewhat more pleasant. There was a cleaning cart outside of the bathrooms to her left.

She looked down at her soaked clothing and then turned to look out the window and froze. Her stalker was seated on the sidewalk across the street, still watching her. She stared at it, still trying to figure out what it was. They were all oblivious to the giant six-eyed dog, and the haziness from before began to consume her mind again. It crawled up from the base of her skull. It was a pleasant tingle. Pleasant until familiar sharp pains seared across her back and thighs had her rushing around the cleaning cart in the bathroom.

The little old lady inside began to shout at her in Spanish as she stood in front the dirty mirror and pried her wet clothes off. She was about to drop them on the floor, then thought better of it and placed them in the sink. The lady stopped speaking and covered her mouth in shock. Amber paid little attention as she whirled around and tried her best to crane her neck enough to see her back. 

What little she saw confirmed her fears. She unbuckled her pants and dropped them. Her legs were covered in the strangely shaped welts. 

“Dios mio!” Her eyes cut back to the lady. She crossed herself as she watched more welts rose on Amber’s legs. Amber didn’t have to look back to know the welts had moved down to her ankles and feet. She was still watching as the lady looked up at her in horror. She said something in Spanish, concern clear in her voice.

“Do you speak English? Habla Engles?” Amber asked. The old lady shook her head shock still plain on her face. She seemed to come out of a daze and moved to help Amber. “Fucking figures.” She took a deep breath and ran a hand through her still soaked hair. Her annoyance about not being able to communicate with this woman was compounded by pain and frustration. She rubbed her neck and rolled her head as she turned away.

The lady seemed to not like that response as the shock on her face turned to anger. The angry Spanish shouting resumed. Amber ignored her only catching explicative like _Gringo_ and _puta_. She had pulled up her pants and was half way into her soaked shirt when the old woman pushed her into the sink. She doubled over it and then fell to the ground. She was more shocked than hurt when the old lady began kicking her and hitting her with what felt like a broom handle. Her hands moved as quickly as they could to get the uncooperative shirt over her shoulders. It was not easy to stand either. The shouting had called in others and the lady had stopped attacking her long enough to explain her side of the story.

“Is this true?” One lady asked outraged.

“I have no idea what she told you.” Amber responded surprisingly calm.

“You called her names and told her to speak English?”

“No. I didn’t.” Amber stated.

“She says you did.” Came the stern response.

Amber just huffed and shook her head as she picked up her hoodie. “Then I guess it doesn’t matter what I tell you. You’ve obviously made up your mind. Can I leave?” She motioned for the door that stood behind the five angry looking women that had made their way into the bathroom. The lady she had first encountered was sobbing in the arms one of the others.

The woman hesitated a moment and then stood straighter and stepped out of the way with an imperious air. “I think that’s best. And I think it’s best if we never see you around her again.” Amber sighed and moved forward to angry glares. “Straight to the door, or we will get security.”

She didn’t look back as she made her way to the door, but the blonde spokeswoman called out to the manager and began telling him that Amber had insulted the old lady. The complaints died when the leaky doors shut. The dog was still across the street watching.

The fatigue as a result of her day caught up with her and she felt her shoulders sag. She blinked and the dog was before her. His head was even with her own and it’s six great eyes stared into her two. Her breath, belatedly, hitched in fear again. The strange animal stood motionless. ‘ _Thenas fenlin._ ’ Sounded in her mind again and she shivered as she realized it was the dog who spoke in her mind. It snorted and a cold breath of air washed over her. ‘ _Fen._ ’ The voice stated again in a different tone, chastising. She closed her eyes and shivered, when she opened them again the dog was gone. 

She whipped her head to the left and then right and found no sign of it. The rain had subsided and only a light drizzle fell. There was a decision to be made. She set off her feet moving her on their own as they worked her way northeast. 

Amber Alice Argent looked up to the mountain. She couldn’t run any more. Her brother had been right. Reality awaited.

Hours later the house was fully lit on the bottom floor, bright in the strange darkness of the night- even the streetlights had not come on. She took a deep breath. Her clothes were still damp and cold. Her first step was to the stone steps leading up to the front door. The climb was more tedious than she could have imagined. 

_Will they be angry?_ A self-deprecating snort left her. “Why wouldn’t they be?” She reached the door and tried the handle. It was locked. So, she rang the bell. A few minutes later Jackson answered the door. His face was emotionless as he laid eyes on her. He stepped back giving her room and when she entered he motioned toward the kitchen. The door made a soft click as it shut behind her. 

He was just behind her as she walked into the room. Fear crept up her spine and she paused at the threshold. Jason was speaking on his cell phone with someone. His face was serious and he spoke in quiet tones. Jackson ushered her into the room with a light touch on her shoulder. Her steps were sure-footed after the soggy shoes touched the dark marble, and she moved forward just fast enough to step away from his hand. A chair, her chair, was pulled out and waiting before she entered the room. She sat and Jackson took the seat to her left and they all remained silent. 

The silence was comfortable now that she knew what she needed to do. The walk to their home had been time enough for her to gather her wits about her. She was going to break things off the right way. And then step off into reality.

“There are things we need to speak about.” Jason stated from her right as he closed the flip phone and threw it into the trashcan across the room.

“I want to get away from here.” She replied calmly. Both their faces contorted into displeasure.

“Where would you go?” Jackson asked with disgust.

“I don’t know, but I can’t be here anymore.” Her eyes caught on the darkened space underneath the overhead cabinets just next to the refrigerator. The black in that space was pitch.

“Then why did you return?” She looked up at that. His voice had distorted into a deep guttural inhuman rumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I apologize for the long wait. I was having trouble fleshing this out. It should go a little easier after this and I should be able to get these out faster.
> 
> She should be back in Thedas next chapter!! 
> 
> Please give me your comments, critiques, and concerns. I would appreciate it. 
> 
> As always thanks for sticking around and to immerghensi!!


	29. Chapter 29

“Then why did you return?” 

Her response was out before she fully registered the animalistic growl in his voice, “Because you’re my brothers and I love you.” 

Jason paused at that, the dark anger retreated from his face as he stared back into her eyes. Jackson sniffed from somewhere on her right. “You ran away from home without a word, Amber.” 

“I didn’t know what else to do! You guys were going insane! You would have killed me if you found out. I don’t want to be in the business anymore!”

The words fell out of her in a rush and they listened, their faces unchanging as the past five years rolled out of her mouth; the long string of bad experiences laid out before them.

“You need to stay! I still don’t understand why you didn’t come back after the first time they hurt you!” Jackson defended as he stood abruptly, began pacing near refrigerator.

“I was scared. I had found the letter from that shit bag Darren and-“

“I fuckin’ knew it!” Jason interrupted. “We told you not to go through mom’s chest!”

“ _I_ was the one who was taking care of mom’s estate! What did you want me to do Jason? Just throw papers away without seeing if they were important? I don’t think so!” She could feel the blood in her face. Her heart pounded in her ears.

“You should have call-“ Jason’s retort was suddenly muffled. A heavy bout of vertigo settled over her mind, blotting out pieces of her vision. She just stared at the blurred and gesticulating arms of her angry brother. The searing pain, the same one she’d felt other night, flared along her back; arcing up at an angle. As quickly as it came it was gone. The vertigo began to stabilize in time to hear the end brother’s rant. “-For fuck’s sake Amber you’re our only family. The only person alive we actually give a shit about!” He paused to gauge her reaction. “Were you even paying attention?!” He was breathing heavily and his eyes settled over her shoulder after he finished shouting. 

She shook her head once more for good measure then refocused on his face. “Yes… yes. I love you guys, but I can‘t do this anymore. It’s better for us all if I just leave. I will keep my promise.” A shaft of pain shot through her chest. She didn’t really want to leave them.

“This is bull shit!” Jackson yells at her.

“Think this through Amber. We would be pulling our protection from you. They would find you.” His face was sober but she could see the anger and concern in his eyes. 

“I… I should go.” She stood and gave them both the respect of a nod and turned to leave. She closed her eyes to fight back the tears that were forming, she had at least wanted a goodbye hug. That was definitely selfish. 

She froze when she opened her eyes. There before her was a tall man with pointed ears. “You’re bald!” She blurted without thought. And though the man gave her a small smirk the tension only grew.

“You have done well with this construct, Da’len.” His eyes had slid to the walls, to the counters, windows, and refrigerator. When they fell upon her, she felt a shot of pleasure at the small bit of pride she saw there. “Though your companions are quite lacking.” He held out his hand. “Come,” Heat shot through her, unbidden, at the word and she flushed as he spoke on. “It is time to wake up.” Her brow furrowed in confusion, interrupting the oddly familiar thoughts of his hands on her belly above her womb.

“I am-“

“Leave, Dread Wolf! She is ours!” Jason snarled in a high-pitched voice that didn’t belong to him. The sound was nasal and grated on the nerves. She turned at his words and sucked in a sharp breath when she saw his pupils swallow his face. She felt bile rise as the blackness proceeded to cover his entire form. It elongated and became pinprick sharp at the joints. 

“What the fuck is that?” She felt her feet move backwards and then stopped abruptly when an arm reached around and held her. She looked down and panic began to seep up into her brain, tentacles of dark emotions griping the edges of her mind. 

“Greed, release her.” The elf’s small words stilled the atmosphere with their warning.

“She is ours! Failed god!” The pale sickly bluish flesh on the arm tensed and the grip at her waist tightened. Amber’s eyes moved between the two briefly at the odd exchange.

“Take her and go!” The black mass screeched in its unfamiliar voice.

“Hatred, Greed… I will not tell you again.” 

“Run!” She was pushed forward, toward the now open garage door. Before she could gather her wits, she collided with a large wall of fur that hadn’t existed before. A large cushion pushed her firmly into the wall. A warm rumble filled her ears and the panic receded. She unconsciously nuzzled into it and took a deep breath. The smell was of deep waters and fresh air all at once. A feeling she had not felt in years entered her heart; and for a moment… just a moment, she knew she was protected and safe from everything. _I want this forever._ She felt a smile grace her lips. Fatigue was washing off her shoulders as she breathed in the smell.

Then the animalistic growls drew her from her sanctuary. She realized she was hugging a giant, breathing… _thing_ and moved to step back again. A heavy sigh left the thing and she maneuvered her head to where she could look around behind her. The cushion released her and she turned to find the monsters who had over taken her brothers on their knees before the elf. Somehow smaller than they had been moments before.

“It is time for you to wake up, Amber.” The elf’s smooth tones filled the atmosphere of the room. 

“But I am awake!” She argued.

A sad smile graced his lips again. She blinked and the dog appeared next to him. She stepped back seeking the comfort of the wall but found nothing there. She whirled around to check, and stumbled slightly as she rested her eyes once again on the two. “You have weaved a fascinating dream. I suspect Uthenera would allow you to develop some skills to keep your mind from growing fallow.”

“What are you talking about?” 

“I would first restore your memories?” He held out his hand again and she eyed it weighing his words.

“What memories?”

“Thedas, and Haven.”

She was uncertain, _What if he feeds me to his dog?_

‘Fen!’ in a scolding tone echoed through the room from nowhere. The elf chuckled and gestured his hand higher.

“Who said that?!” 

“The Wolf. He does not like to be called a mere dog.” Her eyes shot to said _wolf_. But she remained silent. A wave of confidence flowed into her and she felt her shoulders go a little higher.

She eyed his hands a moment longer then stepped forward and placed her hand in his. The grip was firm but kind and he pulled her forward. Her mind went immediately to the two figures below her but they were gone.

“Where are they? Where are my brothers?!” She felt guilt well up in her, she had forgotten them for a moment.

The elf sighed, “I will tell you everything, but context is important. The memories I will unlock will help you.” She looked up into his eyes again. Her head bobbed in acquiescence.

His long slim fingers moved to her temples. She closed her eyes at his gentle touch. A yellow glow emanated from the point of contact and she relaxed as a familiar sensation swept over her. _I know this magic!_ She balked inwardly for only a few seconds before a flood of images encompassed her. 

_Solas._ The elf’s name was Solas. 

He held his hand out for her to grasp, as she dumbly stared at him on his horse. Solas, running his magic through her, giving her unexpected pleasure. Solas unwrapping her head and giving her a pleased smile. A vast green expanse they had shared. Darkness, and then Solas holding her. An elegantly written note tucked away, and then falling and darkness as she waited to be dug out of the snow. 

The pain, ostracizing, and loneliness she had felt at the hands of the Inquisition all refreshed and doubled with the compounded knowledge that her brothers were not what they seemed.

Amber’s gaze fell back on Solas, who gave her a sad smile and gently wiped away the wetness from her face. “It is alright, Amber. Do you have questions before you wake up?” He steadied her on her feet before he took a seat at the island.

Her eyes drifted to the now even smaller pair on the floor. “Where are my brothers?” She her a deep sigh and turned back to the elf. 

“Hate and Greed needed to keep you content in your dream. They fed off you as you slept in Uthenera.” Her eyes prickled at his words. She sniffled and looked to the floor digesting it all. “Your own will kept the magic from consuming them as it had the others.” She looked up at that.

“Others?”

“Your mana pool is larger than anything I have seen. The runes we discovered the other evening were containment spells. As well as spells that dissolved a Spirits essence.” He watched her carefully.

Her eyes drifted to the kneeling figures. _Dogeza? The Japanese call that dogeza?_ “Dissolved to what?” Her voice was horse and broken. _Are they really my brothers?_

“The Fade Walkers that were a part of your Pack-“

“My pack?”

“You are like The Ravens,” her face pulled in a sneer, “but instead of one of the original Raven Walkers, your family were assisted by Wolves.” He inclined his head to his left. She startled at the sudden appearance of the do- _Wolf, he’s a Wolf,_ there. “My friend here, is the last of the Pack that assisted your group. He, along with only a small portion of Walkers, refrained from blending with the Elvhen trapped behind the Veil.”

She studied the Wolf intently for only a few moments before her eyes drifted back to the two toddler sized figures still quiet and still on the ground. “You never answered my question.”

“They are there.”

She moved around them cautiously. “Why are they so still?”

“Because I have not given them permission to move.” She knelt in front of the beings out of arms reach. Their faces were ghastly with rage, their features distorted from recognition.

“Are you really my brothers?” Her eyes swept between them.

“You may answer.” Solas stated imperiously.

“We were trapped and needed to eat.” The black figures high tones grated on her ears.

“It was the best way to keep you from absorbing us.” The grey fleshed mouth breathed heavily with every word.

Amber felt a slice in her chest. A growl erupted from the Wolf and the two beings stilled. She took a deep breath, “Did you love me? Did you even care?” 

“We have too little access to those types of Spirits.” The pitch one, Hatred spoke.

Greed, finished, “We feigned what we have seen those that draw us feign.” 

Amber could feel her heart shatter and she doubled over as her mind was overwhelmed with sorrow. A gentle hand was on her shoulder. Solas knelt between her and the beings. “Amber, you are absorbing them into your mana pool. Do you want to finish doing so?” He tilted his head slightly at the query.

She was a little shocked and disturbed by the idea. Panic at the possibilities bade her to speak, “Would I be affected by it?” 

“No, Da’len, the runes on your skin will dissolve their will completely. The only effects it might have would be on your mind. It is a very grave decision to end the life or existence of another.”

“Can’t I let them go?” 

“They are too far gone. You will either have to restore them or allow them to be absorbed.” She didn’t know what to do. And reflected on his words as she sat up. 

“We cannot delay to long Amber.” Solas sounded worried.

“What will happen to this world when I wake?” She returned her gaze to his eyes.

“That is up to you, Da’len. This place exists somewhere in the Fade. Where, I could not tell you. The Fade is infinite. But you created it as you slept. Built it with the large pool of mana, until only a trace amount remained; invisible to mage sight.” He stood and held out a hand to her. The Wolf made an inquisitive tone. “No, friend, she need not do that.”

“Do what?”

“It is not important, Amber. Let us wake you and then we can see about what to do with you.” He gave her a gentle smile and stepped back to disappear. She looked down at the figures now the size of infants and she shivered. 

“How do I stop it?”

“You can’t _Amber_.” Hate’s tone was impossibly higher and scathing.

Suddenly images of Solas flooded her mind. He was younger, more vibrant, with long dark brown hair worn in varying styles. He wore a golden armor with a fur and was directing Elvhen and Fade Walkers like the Wolf. The Elf, now hairless, laid down and fell asleep in a resplendent room. Then the scene changed to him in the Fade, speaking with ever changing faces, directing them. She watched as Solas woke from his sleep, and he set out. 

She watched as he was rejected by elves that looked like Harold. Elves in the primitive cities of the world became frightened when he spoke and begged him to leave. His mask hid ever growing apathy, and she felt her heart ache as he avoided contact with all until the sky exploded in green. She watched the events up until she fell from the rift. Something in his face changed when she opened her mouth and spoke.

She stumbled forward as the vision ended abruptly, “What was that!?”

‘Halan’enas rya ish.’ Came from nowhere and she looked back to the Wolf. Another image invaded her mind, it was silent and persistent. This one was diminished in quality, as if filtered. It showed Solas watching from the Fade as red eyed soldiers pulled an orb from a dais. She noted the pained look on his unguarded face as the creatures crushed kicked the bodies of two slain elves. The Horror cover his features as he looked up into the tearing night sky. Her conscious was jolted back into her own mind.

“What the fuck was that?” The black six-eyed wolf only bent forward faster than she could evade and touched her with his nose. She bolted from a prone position in a stuffy tent before she realized the scene had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back in the Fade... Hmm things are going slower than I thought. Oh well. Let me know if everything is clear. 
> 
> As always thanks for reading! Comments, questions, and concerns are always welcome and encouraged. 
> 
> Thank fenxshiral for providing the Elvhen Project for my cobbled together sentences:)
> 
> "Halan’enas rya ish"-- "You must help him" (Let me know if you think this is wrong, and I'll fix it.)


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 7/1/2017: Edited for a continuity error. And to add notes at the end.  
> 7/23/2017: Another continuity edit. More notes at end.

She was aware of her nakedness underneath the oddly pungent and heavy blanket that covered her. She would have snorted in self derision, but she felt Solas’ presence stood a little away from the foot of the table. She opened her eyes to find the large black do-, _Wolf. He’s a wolf._ , from her dream stretching as if he had just awoken.

“Good evening, Da’len.” Solas sounded pleased. Amber looked up to him and took a deep calming breath. “You have questions.”

“Yeah.” She choked the words out of her dry throat. She coughed a dry and painful cough that tore at her vocal cords. Her friend nodded to someone off to her right. A cup full of an odd smelling liquid appeared before her. She didn’t hesitate to bring it to her mouth and gulp it down. Only after she had drained the cup did she cringe at the stagnant taste of the water. Her eyes darted over the room in a quick survey. 

Many different creatures were seated around her, quietly mumbling to one another. Two burly, hairy men were staring at her with intensity, she looked away quickly. Some were the elder Ravens she had met before, but there were more creatures she hadn’t. She took in another deep breath and felt a cacophony of scents swirl in her chest. Some were pleasant and made her mouth water. Others were masculine and spoke to her on a more primal level. A few spoke of danger, and others noted newness; two were familiar. One was Solas’, his was dulled but still the scent of ruins and deep forests. The other was the deep waters and wind the Wolf had boasted in her dream. His was strong like the others. Both comforted her. When she rejoined the group, she was aware she knew more about them then she had before she had breathed.

There were owls, and deer like creatures, other wolves, and more Ravens. They were in various states of cleanliness and health. The amount of knowledge that had passed through the smells was disturbing. Her eyes quickly found their way back to Solas. He looked odd, as if he was slightly out of focus. Her uncertainty at her situation, clear on her face.

She was supposed to be awake, not in the Fade. “I thought you said I needed to wake up?”

“You are awake. Do you not remember?” A few vague images passed through her mind before the fall from the Hell Raiser creature. She cringed at the memory of the long wait for Harold to dig her out, and turned to a cold fury as she remembered the frozen horror on her face as the green Jell-O consumed her.

“She just stood there! She just stood there and let the Jell-O eat me!” She nearly flung the blanket off of herself, but a very hard set of black fingers grasped her arm. Confused and angry she turned her glare onto the owner of the digits and found solid black eyes and a set of spiraling horns set in a pale face. She felt her lips curl and a deep growl emanate from her chest before she caught herself, surprised.

The fingers released her arm and fear filled the air. Amber watched the figure back away as Solas answered her. “The Inquisitor explained some of what went on, but became very distressed when she detailed how you were transferred into the Fade.” His words pulled her focus off of the trembling figure.

“The Inquisitor? Harold, left me to _die_!”

“The Herald was named Inquisitor two weeks after Haven. She has been remorseful for her part in your predicament.” She gave him a disapproving look of disbelief and opened her mouth to retort. He cut her off, “Amber it is important that you be informed of what has happened. The Raven has removed many of the enchantments your fellow Walkers used to imprison spirits and demons inside of you.” She stilled at his words. _Wait, what?_ “Those spirits that you have absorbed have extended your own capacities to many times that of a natural well. Your dreams have weaved a masterpiece, but has utilized a very large percentage of your reserves. You have a choice to make.” He paused a moment, as if gathering his thoughts to order his words correctly.

“What does that mean? Absorbed spirits? My well? I thought I wasn’t a mage, Solas?” He focused back on her.

“You are Elvhen, like me. So you are a mage.” He stated with a sad smile. Elation filled her during the short pause as she absorbed his words. Smiling she turned back to his serious face. “As a child, you became trapped behind the Veil. Those Elvhen who were with you, the Elders most likely, made a deal with a pack of the original Fade Walkers.” He gestured to the large Wolf at his side. “You were merged with a Wolf Walker.

“Over time your people, your Pack, decided to break across the Veil and wage a war on the Waking world.” Her elation was drowned by confusion. She sat dumbly listening, his words only making a partial sense as she tried to grasp what it all meant. “I am aware of only two instances where they were successful in the attempts to scout the other side of the Veil. Both those they sent died without the presence of the Fade. Even with their mage connections intact.” His face briefly showed a deep sorrow she didn’t understand.

“In order to survive on the other side of the Veil they needed a large source of constant energy. A walking pocket of Fade on the other side. So, they used runes to build walking mana wells. The youngest of the original survivors where the only successes; as their Fade born children perished in all attempts to do the same to them. You were one of those original children.” 

“Why the children?” she blurted out.

“The Wolf says it was to give those chosen a chance to adjust to their new purposes. Their magic would be essentially striped from them and given to another for all but the most basic of needs.” He stepped forward and waved a hand over her arms and chest. The runes lit up in their bright blue. Large gaps separated the few that had remained.

His tone was slightly forced as he continued, she almost didn’t catch it. “We can remove all of them. You will regain your ability to use magic without any difficulties, but your well will return to a normal size. Presently you possess a well larger than any I have seen. The expulsion of excess the mana has a high probability of killing you.” He paused again and looked to her expectantly. He was not telling her everything.

She sifted through what he said for a few moments before answering. “It sounds like you don’t have to remove them? What happens if you don’t?” 

An emotion passed over his face that she almost caught, but he looked to the tent flap before he answered. “Your well will remain as it is. Magic will be extremely difficult to use, maybe even painful.”

This was mind blowing information. She sifted through each bit slowly piecing the puzzle together. _I am a mage. Who can’t use magic._

“You would still have magic.” Solas countered her spoken thought. She startled and blushed slightly. “It would take a great deal more effort to use. As I said it might even be pain inducing.”

“Then what was the point?” Her frustration with her lack of comprehension was growing with the gravity of his words. 

“The runes they imbedded into your skin were designed to tie you to another mage. That mage would be able to tap into your well and use it. That is what they had intended, all but the basic life sustaining minimum was redirected to the mage.” 

“So, I’m a walking battery?” 

“I am not familiar with that term, Da’len.”

“I am a walking power source?” he inclined his head. She looked down and took a deep breath. Fear and anger began to swell up inside of her, but she shoved all the implications her mind was listing away in favor of another question. _Panic later!_ She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When the scents came she focused on Solas’ familiar scent. It was still duller than the rest. She looked back up at him when the answer clicked in, “You’re not here, are you?”

Solas gave her his half smile. A hint of pride in his eyes at her deduction. “No. I am in the Emprise du Lion with the Inquisitor. I have been periodically checking in to make sure you are alright. They asked me to help wake you when you had fully healed and not woken of your own volition.”

She let her eyes fall to the dark brown oddly textured blanket that covered her. Silence enveloped the room as she turned the last few moments over in her mind. 

“Can I go back to sleep?” Her eyes never left his. 

He deliberated a moment before he answered. “If you so desire they can place the necessary runes so you can remain there. But do you truly wish to go back to that life?” She narrowed her eyes at the question. “The world you dreamed was fascinatingly realistic. I was surprised at its size until The Raven informed me of the size of your well.” Her mouth opened to ask another question seeking clarification on a few points, but he made a disgruntled noise and disappeared. Hazy one moment, gone the next. Panic griped her.

“Solas!” She sprung up ignoring her nakedness and flung herself to the spot he had just occupied. “What happened?! Where is he?!” Those in the room had reacted in various stages of wariness. The timid exited quickly. Those left were an Owl, the Raven, the two burley men, and the Wolf. Her eyes went to each pleading for answers before they rested on the Wolf. The intelligence behind his unreadable eyes made her shiver before she refocused. She addressed the room at large, “Where’s Solas?” 

The six green eyes blinked at her and a deep voice filled the air, the same one that she heard in the kitchen. ‘Halan’enas rya ish.’ 

“I don’t know what that means!” Frustration and anger doubled. It was only the shock of the low growling she was giving out from her lungs again that made her anger pause. Fear began to take their place and she backed up from the Wolf. The air was alive with action. _Something is going to happen, something big._ The Wolf’s attention was on her more completely than she had registered. She turned face first into one of the burly men, who seemed to have grown more hair and his bright gold eyes glowed slightly.

Before she could react to his proximity he wrapped his arms around her, trapping her. His head went into the hair covering her neck and he inhaled. She froze at the sensation and her heart stuttered when she felt his teeth begin to imprint into her flesh. She pushed at his chest and scratched feebly as her mind tried to catch up with the situation. Her efforts were futile; he was way too strong. She would never be able to recall how it had happened but she was flying through the side of the tent when she was aware again. 

Those who had been in the tent were running away. Beings were scattering. Many still turned to watch as the tent was thrashed about by the large bulge. A gurgled sound rent through the silent shock of the encampment heralded a chaotic musical of animal noises. Shouting began as those around her began to run. Dark spots began to soak through as the bulge moved closer to the edges. The Wolf emerged, nose first, from the fallen tent; tongue lulling out of his mouth as he trotted toward her. 

Fight or flight set in and she took off at her top speed in a direction that had the fewest obstacles. She ran for as long as she could, and the Fade supplied her footing. Her attention was solely on getting away; so she failed to notice several beings begin to chase her, nor The Wolf’s leisurely following in her direction. 

As she ran, every once in a while, she would see a figure to her right or left and would run in the opposite direction. Warning bells sounded each time she changed direction, but she didn’t stop until she was out of breath and staring at the three walls that had trapped her. They had herded her into a dead end and fear gripped her. Before she could turn, a furry form collided with her own.

She landed on her stomach and felt him position her on her knees. Her adrenalin kicked back into gear as the realization that he was about to take her clicked. She fought to get away, but his hands were strong and the claws the that bit into her skin were sharp. She felt the blood run down her thighs, sides, and arms as she fought to crawl away. She kicked as best she could before he pinned down her legs, before she sent feeble fists back at him. 

The seconds were small eternities, but before he was able to violate her, he was snatched up by something larger. His claws gouged deep furrows into her bare thighs as he was ripped away. Heaving breaths of relief, she turned over backing into the wall as fast as she could. The Wolf was enormous and looming over her. A figure wiggled in his jaw spiting curses and snarls and growls. She watched as the hand that seemed so large on her legs swung uselessly at the massive black muzzle that held it.

The Wolf was watching her as the muscles in its jaw tensed. A faint gargled cry met her ears before his head snapped back. The limp figure flew high into the sky. When it disappeared into the giant maw she light out a whimper. Her instinct kicked in and she made to run, aiming for the large space in between its massive paws.

The giant beast growled and she found herself knocked back by the Wolf’s massive paw. She hit stone and fell to the ground. Tears began streaming down her face. She was confused as to what exactly had happened. She clamped her eyes tightly as she felt the warm breath of the Wolf glide over her body. Solas’ face was the last thing she wanted to see before she was eaten. So, she focused on the memory of his smile, the light in his eyes, and feel of his arms around her. And she waited.

#####################################################################

The Inquisitor focused on the bend in the quarry wall ahead. She let the images of the humans they had freed, from chains or suffering, roll off her to deal with another time. They were almost done clearing the quarry. There had been reports of five lieutenants, they had dealt with three. The two remaining were proving hard to locate in the maze of passages. 

They rounded the bend to find another opening and mining site beyond. There were two Venatori and four Red Templars, including the Lieutenant. She motioned for Blackwall and Sera to move forward on the ledge above. Bull silently appeared at her side, crouched, she shot him a look _How they never see your giant ass, I’ll never understand._ He returned her unspoken comment with a smirk, and watched for her permission to charge in.

A few breaths later she nodded and the giant man sprang from his position unsheathing his giant Hammer, Cassandra was just behind him using his flare and roar to disguise her own charge. Solas’ familiar magic covered her skin as a blue shimmer covered the two warriors. Bull swung down catching the lieutenant’s broad sword Cassandra blocked the spiked club that was swinging for Bull’s rib cage. A loud crack split the air and one of the scrambling Templars staggered as strings of electricity rolled down his armor. 

The Inquisitor turned to see Dorian and Vivienne moving to position themselves on the scaffolding above. Solas was standing close by to her right, casting supportive spells on their allies below. Varric released his first bolt from her left and she turned her attention back to the fight below.

Cassandra was fighting off two of the three remaining templars. The Inquisitor knocked her arrow and let it fly. It hit the leg of the Templar going for a blow to Cassandra’s middle. His head snapped in her direction. It flew farther than it should have as Cole landed after a spinning maneuver that gave her the chills. Sera took out both of the mages, and shortly after they had fallen two Templar scouts fell over the ledge. With a blow to the gut, the third Templar fell to Cassandra. All focus was on the Lieutenant. 

Her arrow was notched quickly and her luck held out this time as it found its mark in the crazy man’s breast in the company of three of Varric’s bolts. Dorian and Vivienne’s fire and lightning had died down after the mages had fallen. Cassandra and Bull were too close to the target. She stilled as she watched the Templar double over and The Iron Bull maneuver to an executioner’s position. She might have laughed at the comical position the Templar was left in, his rear end stuck in the air, if it wasn’t for the fact that his head was just then flat under the hammer Bull wielded. The group gathered and rested a few moments cleaning off their weapons and catching their breaths.

“Inquisitor, there is another cage over there.” Cassandra motioned to the left with her head while she leaned on a barrel and cleaned her weapon. The Inquisitor looked to Varric who raised a brow and smiled.

“Your kit broke, didn’t ?” His tone was mocking as he strode toward the caged shemlens. _Humans, woman. Humans. Elgar’nan help me, I am leading a group of people in the name of their god, I should be better than slurs._ She scrubbed her face and shook the weariness away. The conversation around her came back into focus. 

“The report said there were five Lieutenants. This is number four. I think we should go ahead and take on the last one.” The Iron Bull was pointing out to Cassandra.

“We are too low on potions. We should restock, ensuring our victory.” Cassandra all but snapped back. She was tired, they all were. Taking the Tower of Bone and pressing on without a rest had been a mistake. By the time Blackwell and Sera had returned the group was not breathing as hard, but they all clearly needed longer. 

The Inquisitor sighed and looked around for a place to sit. She spotted a pile of boards they had been using to build the scaffolding and made her way over to sit down. She observed her team mates for a short time before she made a decision.“We will break for ten minutes then push on. We don’t want to give them enough time to discover our presence and prepare for us.” Varric gave a gratified grunt as he plopped down on the ground and began rubbing his knees. Cassandra waved the civilians back through the way they had come. Inquisition forces would already be securing the other mining areas. Her team rested, and she rested. 

After about five minutes her eyes drifted back to the apostate. He had moved to the wall and was crouched by a grouping of red lyrium. She noticed he was speaking, and his face had a strange look on it. She found her way over to him.

“…me your name young one.” The apostate said quietly. Her heart bottomed out and she looked around the stones that blocked her view. 

A small, naked, human child lay on the ground, still as death. She couldn’t have been more than six. Her long black naturally crimped hair tangled in the spikes of red lyrium above her head. Her dark skin paled even in the glow of the red lyrium that encased her body up to her chest and around her head. She sucked in a breath at the sight.

“What is your name, child?” Solas said again softly.

“Solas…” The Inquisitor thought it odd he didn’t know she was dead. Then she heard it. The small sound of a quickly sucked in breath and the almost inaudible reply. Even the dead eyed stare hadn’t given her anything but a feeling of sadness. But that reply… the small, soft, almost inaudible and thickly accented and pleading reply of, “Br-Brin,” would haunt her forever.

Suddenly the girl’s gaze shifted to her. She stared in shock as the dead eyes glared into her and the child’s voice rang in her mind. ‘You murdered me.’ She said. ‘You weren’t fast enough, _Herald of Andraste_. The Dread Wolf laughs at your name, title, and your efforts as he devours all of your people, ‘Chosen One.’” The gaze turned to hateful and she looked up to Solas to see if he was seeing the same thing only to find him staring at her. _Not staring. **Glaring.**_

“Solas, wha-“

“She is not wrong you know. If you had been here faster we would have been able to save her.” His voice was cold, judging. She felt her heart sink, and tears prick her eyes.

“But-“

“Your clan prophesized you would be the one to bring the Dread Wolf to heel, did they not?” She blushed and her eyes shot to the ground as she remembered. “Even named you for the deed, did they not? Too bad they truly know nothing about Elvhenan. Or even their own language. It’s little wonder they couldn’t even spell the name of the ‘Song that Protects us from the Wolf’.” The disdainful sneer was palpable. Shame and embarrassment flooded her with the memory of the apostate trying, politely, not to snort or laugh the night she had told him her real name. 

“They didn’t know.” she said softly defeated.

“Just like you didn’t know when you let Amber get sucked into the Fade Rift, _you_ summoned?” There it was, her eyes narrowed, sorrow and shame switched to rage. He just had to bring _her_ up. _Amber, Amber, Amber!_

“Well maybe you should-“ She froze when her eyes shot back to his.

There, in his place stood a snarling rotting six-eyed creature. Drool, dripped from rotting green, yellow, and black, six inch fangs as the eyes blinked blood red. The jowls moved slowly as it grated out the words and she felt blood streaming down her neck from her ears, “I should what, _Herald of Andraste_?” His massive head canted in curiosity, a rotted ear swinging lazily from a few strands of sinew. “What would the one who is fated to destroy me, have me advisor her to do?” Fear spiked through her as the laughter from her friends grew louder. She looked around to find them all pointing.

“She’s supposed to kill a god?” Blackwall bent forward toppling to the ground in his mirth.

“He isn’t even real!” Cassandra choked out through her ghastly guffaws as she slapped The Iron Bull on the arm.

“The knife-ear is nothing better than a puppet!” Dorian relayed to Vivienne. Both were doing their best to contain their giggling, but failing miserably.

“Her name isn’t even spelled right! I’ll call you ‘Kamquote’ from now on!” Varric pounded the ground with his fit in his hysteria next to Sera.

Solas voice came, once again, from where the Dread Wolf had stood, “Do you think I could ever want you, _Herald of Andraste_? You are not only a Dalish, but have abandoned the Creators to lead the humans in the name of another. You are nothing but a knife-eared shem!” She watched the sneer twist his face as she backed away.

A cold, mad giggling bubbled up behind her and she froze. “You don’t care about people!” She turned around to where Cole hunched over and bounced from his erroneous mirth behind her. Unsettled even more, she opened her mouth to try to defend herself. “No. You don’t care about people. And I don’t have to stay here.” His giggles bubbled into a sinister cackle that felt off in the Spirit boy.

“No, Cole! Wait!” She reached out to him. The understanding Cole had turned on her as well.

“You won’t miss me…” He stepped forward with a too toothy grin. “You won’t miss anyone. Forget!” He snorted out the last few words and she flinched away from his hand. 

Sulah bolted up from her sleeping pallet. She gulped in a few breaths as she watched Cassandra and Sera for signs of waking. They both stayed still, and the Inquisitor made her way silently into the cold night of the Emprise du Lion.

She leaned against the Tower of Bone’s Ocularum, the one that looked out over the camp towards Suledin Keep. Sickly red glowed from the lyrium, but it was dimmed by the silver and brownish light of the full moons. Her eyes went from figure to figure as the nightly watch made their rounds. She had set up a full shift of a dozen soldiers to keep watch of the camp at night after they had cleared out the quarry.

Her mind kept returning to the image of the small human child Solas had found. She had been trapped by the emotion in the young girl’s silent gaze. No pain, no long suffering, just a pleading. A pleading no child should have been capable of, regardless of the circumstances. She almost preferred the disdain in her dream.

The creaking of wood announced him before he had made it to the top of the scaffolding. She felt anticipation for his presence, he always gave her a sense of peace. He crested the ladder and she glanced over and gave him the best smile she could.

“Thanks for coming Solas.”

“You are most welcome, Inquisitor. The messenger seemed urgent. Does the Anchor trouble you?” His eyes scanned the camp in the gulch before he turned them to her. She felt her heart flutter and her throat dry.

She cleared her throat, “Sulahnara. Please, Solas? Or Sulah. Too many people ‘Inquisitor’ me.” She caught his sigh and felt her heart drop a bit. She opted for a friendlier approach, “Drink?” She waved the flask she held beneath her larger coat.

“No thank you.” He smiled at her, it was more relaxed, like she had wanted. “How may I be of assistance, Lady Lavellan?” She huffed at his words.

“That’s not much better, Solas.” She tipped the flask back a fifth time and let the Qunari drink wash down her annoyance.

“There is a certain decorum we must respect outside of Skyhold.” His voice was calming.

“I just need a friend right now. I had a disturbing dream.” She felt the air change with his demeanor. _Got him!_ She smiled inwardly, thankful the dream was the truth.

“A dream?” She could almost feel his curiosity.

“It was about when we found the girl.”

“Ah.”

“You turned into the Dread Wolf as everyone else laughed at me and my name. Cole did this weird unsettling laugh as he accused me of not caring about people and made me forget.” They both remained silent. 

She chanced a glance in his direction only to find him staring intently at the Ocularum next to her. A hint of anxiety furrowed his brow. She was taken aback by his reaction, unsure as to what she had said to cause it. She looked back to the night watch as she frantically searched for a cause.

The tension began to grow as the moment extended, and she felt that she had made a huge mistake in telling him. _I may have had too much to drink._ Her eyes turned back to Solas, the haze of the drink more noticeable she hoped, the look on his face less so. She focused on his lips. He opened them to speak. _What if he hates me? Thinks of me like a child._ She panicked and pounced.

Her tongue slid into his mouth and wound around his as she slid a finger up the edge of his ear. He shivered involuntarily at the touch but otherwise froze. The move had surprised him, but he responded quicker than she’d expected.

His arms wrapped around her and his left hand gripped her tight end, pulling her body to him. His right hand cupped the back of her head and held her firmly. His grip was desperate, as if he hadn’t held a woman in a long time. She felt his response to her wedging one of his legs between her own and ground into him. 

His groan sent a shiver down her spine. Before she was aware, her back was to the wall of the keep and her hands were above her head. His right hand slid up her side to palm her ample flesh. His thigh tightened and, even through thick leathers, she could feel his powerful muscles shift. His lips didn’t leave hers until a catcall came across the night. 

Crystal eyes never left him as he breathed heavily. She watched as his thoughts cleared and he settled his gaze back on her. He regained the posture he had had when informing her of the orb. _Before he questioned me about **her**._ She took a deep breath and shoved thoughts of Amber away. She did not want to ruin this high. 

Solas broke the silence, “That was… unexpected.”

She smiled at him from underneath a heated face. He took in a deep breath and shook his head as if clearing it. Storm grey eyes met hers for a moment more and she saw desire there. Her heart soared in that small moment before it saddened and smoothed out. “Your dream, Inquisitor?” _Great…_

She stood up from where she still leaned on the tower, thoroughly disappointed. “I’m sorry Solas. I didn’t mean to interrupt your time in the Fade. I think I just needed a friend to listen to my scary dream.” She patted her thick coat looking for something to distract herself with, and her eyes darted away from him to the blanket she had sluffed to the floor.

“Do you fear it might have been demons?” She shook her head. He took a deep breath his voice was resigned, “What is troubling you, Sulahnara?” 

She gave a terse laugh and waved him off as she spoke. “I’m probably just stressed out. I was never meant to be Keeper. You don’t need to worry about it. I apologize, again, for waking you.” She went back to staring at the Keep. Her lips wanted to touch his again.

“Once, a long time ago, a young elf showed signs of powerful magic. He excelled in every aspect of his early training and studies. His parents were proud if only poor, so they sought the wisdom of Dirth'am'en. The god of secrets assured them all would be well and when the boy came of age they sent him away to study under the best minds available. He was never to see them again, as, shortly after he had departed they passed in a tragic fire. 

“The boy grew up not knowing. He sent letters home and received replies for a long time. Whenever the time came to visit, his tutors and elders convinced him to remain and study to get ahead. He finished his tutelage with the highest accolades. At the celebration, he searched the crowds for his parents but could not find them. His mentor and most beloved teacher came up to him after the others had gone home. He told the man what had happened. What they had done to help him grow up strong. The boy said nothing. He just turned and walked away. No one who loved him was ever able to locate him and he was never seen again.” 

Solas turned his eyes back to her. “We are each given circumstances in our lives. It is important to move forward, and when the unexpected happens we must not do as the young man did, we must use the gifts living our lives has brought us, to the best of our abilities. _You_ , are the one who can lead this Inquisition. You need not doubt this.” 

“I have never encountered these things before Solas.”

“Keep moving forward.” His voice was muffled and she turned to see him stepping to the ladder. He turned when he reached the edge. “Go back to bed, Inquisitor. I will ensure you are protected from nightmares.” He smiled at her and motioned to the ladder.

She smiled back, only mildly comforted by his words; and moved down the scaffolding in silence. She was back asleep quickly when her head hit the pillow.

######################################

Solas escorted her back to her tent in a companionable silence. He set wards and then made his way back to his own. Dorian and Varric were still asleep. He laid on his cot wrapping the blanket around his chest. His hands cradled his head as he stared up into the depths of the tent above, thoughts swam in and out as he contemplated his situation.

Deliberately, he focused on thoughts of young Laleal. He remembered watching the boy walk away in a fit of anger after he had relayed the news of his parents. It had been one of his biggest mistakes to not restrain the boy. The aftermath of his grief had been the biggest incident Geal’s, private libraries had seen.

The boy’s skill with lightning magic had wrought chaos on the massive structure. So much so, the god of secrets himself spent two hundred years cleaning. Solas hadn’t been allowed in the dungeons to speak with him. He could have sworn he felt his young protégé’s Aura once every few hundred years, but nothing significant. Geal never spoke of his servant again; and Solas, at that time, was still plotting schemes and entertainment like the rest of the Evanuris. _Such a foolish man._

He was still foolish, even after all of the mistakes that he had been making. The last few millennia had seen him in a rut of mistakes. Which brought him back to his current situation with the young Dalish. She kept insisting her clan would accept his information. That they were different. It had been suggested of other clans in the human villages he had had to visit for provisions on occasion. 

For the first year out of Uthenera he had gone to the elves and tried to give them the knowledge they so desperately wanted. He had even used what precious mana he had regained to show them proof. Not one of them had been any different than the barbarians he had encountered in the less inhabited areas of Thedas. He sneered to himself as he recalled the image of Clan Tillahnnen’s Keeper as she spit vitriol at him when he informed her of the true origins and purpose of the _vallaslin_. The threats of “Fen’Harel’s Teeth,” from hunters and guards. He had been tempted, on more than one occasion, to introduce them to the Dread Wolf’s teeth.

He had tried and failed to reason with those creatures who had descended from his People. They were no longer a priority. And the Inquisitor was making his mission with the Inquisition even more difficult. The fact that she had a dream that equated him with his alter ego was concerning. There must have been someone or something behind the dream. He would be sure to search in the Fade. 

The second, but equally troubling dilemma, was his physical needs. He had avoided unnecessary physical interaction for a reason. And even with the limited interaction he had had to make, it had not been so bad as after he had encountered Amber.

Her lightheartedness had been refreshing on the way back to Haven on her first day. His lip tugged upward when he remembered how she had responded to touch herself. Both of them were touch starved, even if she wasn’t as fully aware of it. She had only relaxed the few times they had been in the Fade together. He remembered her genuine smile and amazement at his favorite place. _Given a few hundred years she might have been capable of exploring with me; without being a danger to herself._ The smile saddened slightly at the thought. His path was different now. _Perhaps she will walk the Fade in my stead…_

So different from the Inquisitor, Sulahnara. He stifled a laugh and checked on his tent mates, they slept on. He had to stop that. He barely contained himself when she asked him to use her name again that evening. They had done her a disservice in intent and execution. It wasn’t really her fault, but he still couldn’t help but laugh. Being in a position where his opinions didn’t hold quite as much weight as it used to had loosened his tongue more than was comfortable. 

Despite her unfortunate name she had proved very kind in general. She helped him with the ‘artifacts,’ which he only felt marginally guilty for, and had given a hand in helping most of the people she encountered. She had picked the Templars, but conscripted them. Her sentence of Knight-Captain Denam had been appropriate. Her visibly restrained rage was a sight to behold as she sentenced the man to death. She was proving to be quite wise in her dealings with those not Dalish. As well as adept in combat.

The image of her lithe body countering a sneak attack from a Red Templar earlier in the day flashed through his memory. Reddened lips and Nan’s vallaslin brought to mind a talented servant the ‘god of vengeance’ usually tried, and succeeded at getting him to bed. She had been very talented, very talented. The All Father’s attempts to claim one of the Dread Wolf’s heirs as his own were never a subtle thing, but she had made a good effort to please her master. 

He idlily wondered if the Inquisitor had the same talents. The servant had been softer, more curved with health and pampering. But the Inquisitor… His skin remembered the feel of her firm body underneath her leathers, her practiced kiss, and the giving flesh beneath her soft tunic. It reacted accordingly. He closed his eyes in frustration. _This will not do._ Magic gathered in a smooth layer along his skin, he cast a cold spell to sober himself from arousal. “This will not do.” He spoke softly. 

He had waved away the suggestions of his guard to desensitize himself with the two females available in his temple. They had become Bonded over the millennia he slept, and while they and their Bond mates were willing, he refused. Physical regret did nothing to solve this dilemma. Neither did encouraging her. His mind wandered back to a tangled mess of brown hair in an attempt to distract himself. An unconscious smile pulled at one side of his lips, as he remembered her own smile in the Fade. 

Amber was a rare being, if immature. A walking pocket of Fade. The Lost had been ingenious in their rune casting. Separate sets of runes all interacting but none relying on the other to function. If there had been any mistakes made the rune sets could be erased and altered with little difficulty. They had been experimenting a great deal before they had reached her for their purposes. Nearly perfected the technique when she was first branded with the runes. 

With thousands of years of either walking or falling through the Fade with those proximity spells… Her mana well was enormous. The elaborate dream she had brought into existence was occupying all but a small portion of it, though. She had so little left it was used as a life support system in the event injury, or so the evidence showed thus far. Just enough to stop the blood and keep her alive.

_If she were to release that magic…_ The possibilities would be endless. Some of the runes would remain to keep her physical body in tune with the supersaturated well. Although, she would not be able to use it herself without a significant amount of difficulty, another could tap into it. He would be able to pull the Anchor from the Inquisitor and retrieve his orb with little to no difficulty, with access to that power. His full strength would be doubled, if not tripled. The deeds that needed to be accomplished to bring down the Veil would be done quickly and the beings of this world would not needlessly suffer. 

If only the requirements he would need to meet were not so permanent. Bonding, was a very serious matter. No light decision to make. His Din’Anshiral would affect her as well, she would be lost with him. An unnecessary loss. His mind filtered through the few followers he would trust with, not only that much power, but such a rare soul blossoming out of the chaos. And one of the few unattached and fertile Elvhen females left. Melded with a being of the Fade or not, she was a precious, precious bit of light in the dark for his People.

A thought began forming in the back of his mind, but he pushed it aside immediately. Retrieving Tunan and Flemeth’s soul was a last resort. An, unlikely, backup plan. An undesirable back up plan.

A snort and grumble from the Child of Stone brought him from his musings. Dorian mumbled something about horns and shifted in his sleep. Solas pulled his meager covering to his neck and turned on his side. It was time he returned to the Fade and helped Amber acclimate to her situation. He had been gone for long enough, and needed to make sure things were not getting out of hand. 

When he slipped through the Veil, chaos met him. He was momentarily surprised, as most of the tents were collapsed and several fights had broken out. The densely populated camp resembled a battlefield near the end of a war winning fight. His eye found the pale figure of the head representative of the Halla. “ _Father!_ She called out. She was out of breath and in full Elvhen form. 

“ _What has happened?_ ”

“ _The Lost One ran and the Wolves chased her. He followed her._ ” She pointed behind him and he turned. His eyes adjusted for distance and he could make out a faint outline of the massive creature. He stood, still investigating something.

“ _Return to your Herd. Bring The Halla back with you to the place where the sky is held. A month from now._ ”His voice was polite but left no room for misinterpretation.

She nodded and backed away with a bow; her relief at being dismissed from the mess of the encampment touched the edges of his conscious. He turned the rest of his body and made to leave. 

“ _Please, wait._ An old hand touched Solas’ shoulder and he focused his attention on it. The bracelet twisted around the wrist indicated a Wolven Elder. “ _Many Walkers have been lost in this brawl. Her present state has affected the Wolves and many of those gathered have perished._ ”

“ _Her state?_ ” Sharp grey blue meet deep green eyes, he had suspected she was close, she was only a few years older than the Veil.

“ _Father, you are not so ignorant as to dismiss dominance battles._ ” The elder made a sweeping gesture indicating the spread out fights going on. The wolves seemed to be the only ones in the open. “ _She is reaching a very dangerous state. We request leave of us all, to regroup and return at your summons._ ”

The Elvhen let his eyes return to the silhouette in the distance. “ _Do you remember what the tear in the Veil was like?”_

“ _Yes._ ” 

" _If and when you feel such a thing, return to the area around my mountain stronghold._ ” 

“ _Yes, Father._ ” They all seemed to be relieved of the dismissal. 

“ _Inform the survivors of the same instructions._ ” The elder’s presence began to walk away. “ _Is The Raven still in the vicinity?_ ” 

The elder stopped and with only half concealed disdain answered, “ _He is._ ” 

“ _Alive?_ ” 

“ _Yes_ ” 

" _Have him meet me out with The Wolf._ ” The presence hesitated long enough to indicate a short bow before it moved on. Three steps forward and Solas was at The Wolf’s back paw. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is subplot for the chicken in this chapter.
> 
> Geal-Fear- Dirth'am'en  
> Tunana-Justice-Mythal  
> Nan-Rage-Elgar'nan
> 
> I figure that if Fen'harel had a different name, so might the others.
> 
> As always thanks dear immerghensi, and dear reader!!!
> 
> Thanks fenXshiral. 
> 
> comment, questions, and concerns always welcome. (especially if something is confusing or you don't want to read it anymore.)


	31. Chapter 31

The leg towered over him and he made his way toward the massive head. It was bent down investigating Amber’s protesting figure. He could hear her heart pounding. Her voice held an odd tone as she dealt with the massive tongue running the length of her bare form. He averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

“Christ!” He heard her scramble some and turned back. She was now crouched behind a waist high rock breathing heavily. “Solas, where-“ She started, trying to regain some dignity, but The Wolf had no trouble reaching over to her new location and resuming his ministrations. “Leave me alone!” She shouted as she swung a fist at his long, licking tongue.

“ _You should leave your affections for another time, friend._ ” Amber heard his amused tone and blushed slightly.

‘ _I am merely cleaning the scents off of her. They are not becoming on one from **my** pack._ ’ The Wolf was not deterred and moved in for another cleansing lick. Solas would keep his observance of the slightly joyful flick of his friend’s ear to himself

“Stop!” She nearly fell over when she retaliated with her fist again.

Solas responded with light laughter, at which she looked horrified. After a small debate with himself, he gestured and she was wearing a tunic, leggings, and foot wraps. The Wolf above him huffed in protest and he chuckled again. “Is that better, Da’len?”

“Y-yes.” Her voice was trembling and the exposed skin turned red right up to her pointed ear tips. The trait had greatly diminished in the shadows. So, to see it so prominently displayed was heartwarming enough to tempt him into making her blush on purpose. Tempted, but never done.

She stared at her new clothing as she spoke. Her tunic matched his own pale green one, and was made of the softest thread spun from the barbs of griffon down. The tan leggings were made of leather from a long dead species, and the dark green footwraps were of the same leather only cured differently. They were standard long-distance travel fare in his world, especially with the enchantments. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked watching her investigate.

“I, uh… Al-alright, I guess.” She leaned against the rock and looked up at the massive head that had moved in to listen.

‘ _I do not know this tongue, Elf. Teach me._ ’His friend pressed.

“What was that? That thing!? What did it say?!” She gestured up at the large beast with her questions. Her wide eyes regarded The Wolf warily. 

“He is The Wolf- the last Walker remaining that did not merge with one of the Elvhen trapped behind the Veil.” To the Wolf he responded, “ _You are wise enough to follow the conversation until you can understand the words. Is that not what you have been doing?_ ” It earned him a short low growl.

“He’s like the bird guy?” She continued, her hand unconsciously running up and down the long soft sleeve. 

“It would be an oversimplification to say yes. Like The Raven, he is from the species of beings that helped to keep the Elvhen alive. Elvhen like you. Unlike The Raven he has no Elvhen form.” 

She pondered his words a moment, before speaking. “You said I was a Walker?” He gave her a slight affirmative nod. Her question had been unsure and he watched as her mind began to work. She gripped that arm tightly and he waited patiently for her to continue. “So, I’m… possessed. Like the abominations the soldiers talked about in Haven?”

“Not precisely, no.” He tried to push reassurance toward her as he spoke, but she was physically in the Fade, on the other side of the Veil; unreachable for now. Instead he continued, “The magic used, blended you into the same person. Not one competing with the other. You have a single soul inside of you, if that is what you fear.”

Her confusion and mounting frustration were all too apparent in her posture and the way her eyes darted about the scene around them. Her shoulders were tense and she continued to finger her sleeve. When her eyes caught on his own she quickly glanced away and sighed in, what he felt was, resignation. 

“You were heavily injured after the fall of Haven.” Her eyes shot back to him. “The Inquisitor informed us of the incident in the cave.”

“Incident!? She called it an ‘ _Incident_ ’!?” 

“Yes, she had no ill intentions from what I know.” Her look of incredulity changed to one of skepticism and she opened her mouth to argue. “No, Da’len. Leave it at that for now. What matters is you are safer in the Fade for the time being. If you would,” He motioned to the rock she leaned on, “there is more information I need to give you.” She eyed it with uncertainty before sitting down and giving him her full attention.

“Your world, Amber, is a dream kept alive by your own magic. You are still sustaining that dream you created; it exists somewhere here, in the Fade.” He made a sweeping motion indicating the vast expanse around them. 

“But it felt so real!” She interrupted before he could continue.

“The question is not whether it is real, but what you believe it to be Da’len.” She only furrowed her brow in more thought at that. 

“You were there! It was real!” Anger seeped into her face amidst the confusion.

“Calm Amber.” He stepped closer and she became distracted from her growing ire. “Whether the dream is real or not, is of no consequence outside of the Fade. The only person who is affected by its existence is you. You need not try to convince anyone, for you are the dreamer it is a reality in your mind.” He smiled gently and continued, “As I was saying, you have three paths to choose from. You may go back to sleep and continue the dream, undisturbed, until you wither away. The second is to live here in this reality while the other exists on its own. Lastly, you may release the magic sustaining that dream and regain your mana and remain a Well.” His words were short and to the point. Amber, to her benefit, was very stoic as the information sunk in. 

He watched as she mentally pushed aside something and refocused on him. 

“So, I can go back, knowing I live in a lie or-“ She stepped away from him and began to think and pace.

“We could make you forget, if your desire is truly to go back.” He interjected. She gave him a look of disinterest in that idea. One that better fit the woman he and the others had watched fall from a rift on the road to Haven. The woman he only ever saw in the Fade. Something in him lightened at it.

She ticked them off on her fingers. “So, go live a lie, be basically useless, or have magic?” Her tone was slightly more confident.

“You would be a Well of Mana. Use of the magic would be difficult, if at all. The runes holding the mana were designed so another could draw on it.” 

“…draw on it…?”

“You could form a Bond with a mage. That mage, and only that mage, would have access to your mana pool. The runes used to help render your current situation are tied to it being used by a separate soul.” The words sounded half apologetic and half appalled as he spoke. The actual merging of his People had never set well with him. He had come to accept them, but he still felt a heavy responsibility for having put them in the situation. A choice thrust on them by his decisions, just as so many others.

“So, you’re saying someone else would be able to use it, but not me?” Her head canted slightly and her face pulled into one of confused displeasure at the idea.

“It would be very difficult for you to use with the runes in place.”

She sat thinking for a short while. “Didn’t you tell me I could take a chance and get the magic back?”

“While it is a possibility, we have discovered your well is much bigger than we first believed. You amassed this over several millennia.” Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. He continued as she reacted, “The probability of you, even as resilient as you are, surviving the loss of such a gargantuan stockpile, in such a short amount of time, is very narrow. I would rather you live.” 

“Several meh-millennia?” She barely breathed the words and he nodded. The stray hairs wafted in the air of the Fade around her head as she swallowed. He watched her eyes wheel about as she grasped at the concept. “H-how old am I?” 

“You are still young Amber. I have seen over a decade in millennia more than you. Our People have never really paid attention to age or time.” He had hoped to calm her with his demeanor. When she only seemed to become more agitated he stepped forward, but the Wolf put his nose against her before he reached her. It was a testament to her state she did not protest the nudge.

‘ _What did you say to upset her, Elf?_ ’ Solas moved around the massive nose ignoring him. Her face was downcast, her eyes held the ground with a glassy, vacant stare. He waved his hand in her line of sight and she looked up to him. 

“How is that possible?” He watched her for a moment after she timidly spoke.

“It is a part of being Elvhen. Even more so of a Walker. They walked the Waking and the Fade much longer than the first Elvhen to come to Thedas. As I said, you are still young; one day you will be as old as I.” He allowed a smile to grace his lips and she seemed to lighten again. The Wolf grunted above, Amber looked to him, searching. 

“I’m like him?” Her black rimmed, pale green eyes looked on the giant with a silent awe. Her heart was still beating quickly. She was still in a state of shock. It would take time for her to digest the information.

His eyes took her in for a moment as the three stood in silence. Her hair was dirty and matted about her head. Her skin, pale and slightly freckled, had been cleaned while she was asleep. He truly noticed, for the first time, the gentle, feminine angles of her face; a result of her heritage as an Elvhen. His heart moved. His People were not lost. He would remake the world and such as her could rebuild their homeland and rejuvenate their People. “Yes, he is what remains of the pack that helped you and those you traveled with when the Veil was erected.”

“Like… Family?” Solas, smirked. The word bothered him to his core, though he would never let her know so.

“Somewhat, yes. It means you can trust him.” He turned to observe his old friend, who’s six eyed gaze blinked down at them with the innocence of a wild animal. “For now.” It was soft, but when his eyes returned to Amber she was watching him again. After a small silence he continued, “As I was saying your mana well is enormous. Thus, the risk is substantial. I would hope you would trust my judgement in this.” He let his face give off a slight bit of disappointment.

She blushed, looked down, and pushed one of the many errant hairs behind her left ear. The finger caught the tip and she hissed in pain. The Wolf huffed again and put his nose to her to see if she was alright. She had to hop to the side slightly to avoid an arm up his large nose and glared as she did.

“Who would I be able to help? I mean you said someone else could use the mana instead, right? Who would be able to? You?” He debated on his answer.

He had already revealed much… _Would knowing the extent of the Bond she would share be much different?_ Despite her outward calmness, her erratic heart beat and elevated breathing echoed the turmoil the knowledge brought her. He felt a presence draw near.

‘ _I wish to know what you are talking about, Elf_ ’ The Wolf, growing more impatient, interrupted Solas’ thoughts. His eyes refocused and he found they were still on Amber, who looked uncomfortable under his gaze. He had been staring.

“ _She is considering her options, at the moment. She has also asked who is eligible for the Bond._ ”

The Wolf let out a huff that could have been mistaken for a laugh. ‘ _You spoke of everything we discussed?_ ’Solas nodded. ‘ _You must tell her to Bond with me._ ’ he stated. Solas shot a glare up at him.

“ _Don’t be ridiculous!_ ” He was shocked The Wolf would suggest such a thing. 

‘ _Why not?_ ’ 

“What are you talking about?” Amber’s voice cut through Solas’ growing discomfort at the idea The Wolf wanted to Bond with her.

“Nothing, Da’len.” Solas gave one last reproving look to the Wolf.

“ _You requested my presence, Dread Wolf?_ ” The Raven stated from behind him. The Wolf looked back to where The Raven stepped forward, his steps faltered slightly from the rigorous trek to where the three of them stood. Solas turned to greet him. Both Elf and Wolf were unsurprised at his arrival, but neither missed Amber’s jump and loud intake of breath. 

“ _Yes, she is just about to tell us how she wishes to proceed._ ” He answered.

The Raven acknowledged the Wolf and the Elf with a low bow and strode forward to stand next to Solas, his gaze fixed on Amber. His tone was disapproving, “ _She is aware of what we can do?_ ” 

“ _To help her, yes._ ” Solas added with a slight warning in his voice. He and the old one had been having too many arguments about the wisdom in keeping her alive and around the very creature who had betrayed all of, and devoured most of, his own pack. _Her family._

The woman in question watched the group with a growing frustration. It mirrored his friend’s irritation at his conversation with her. “Da’len, do you have an answer?”

“I just found out! How am I supposed to know? Can’t we just leave things like they are? No magic from the creepy bird man?” She hugged herself and gave a wary glance at the Raven as she spoke.

“That is certainly one of your options. Your dream would remain intact. Your mana well would be drained of all but the barest of magics that exist as a part of you.” Her face fell even farther, and she sighed.

“Can I have some time to think about it?”

“Certainly. Let us return to the encampment and you can rest a while as you ponder your answer.” He turned to inform the others.

“I want to stay here!” He looked back at her, surprised. She blushed when their eyes met.

“It’s just… They smell weird. And it makes me uncomfortable.” Her hand pulled at the cuff of the sleeve and she twisted it during her awkward confession. 

He gave a slight chuckle and nodded. “I do not see where that would be a problem, Da’len. Though I suspect The Wolf will remain with you wherever you decide to sleep.” 

A low growl came from above. Solas only watched as Amber jumped at the noise. “There is the matter of a language barrier. I know of two spells that can help you, Da’len. One is lengthy, and could take hours. The other is almost instantaneous, but requires the intimacy of a lengthy kiss.” Her face reddened. “Or you could learn over months naturally. I can perform neither spell for you, as I am on the other side of the Veil. Both require physical contact. I will instruct The Raven, who is aware of the situation to assist you in finding a tutor, or give the knowledge needed to help.

“Oh… ok… yeah.” She was avoiding his gaze again.

He turned and took a short time to instruct the Raven, who was, obviously displeased with the situation. There were only a few clipped statements and the Raven grumbled before turning to return to the ruined encampment. Solas watched as his Fade step faltered in his age and anger. 

“I must leave now.” He turned to address Amber again. “We will be readying to move on to the Emerald Graves and then the Exalted Plains. After, we will move on to an old temple in the west. I will be very busy in the upcoming weeks.” She looked up at his words.

“You can’t visit while you’re asleep?!” Her dismay was palpably embarrassing. She grimaced slightly when it registered. 

“I will be busy locating keystone shards as well as Rifts, and any other useful bits of information for the Inquisition. The Wolf will most likely stay with you, and the Ravens will assist The Wolf. Should you make up your mind during that time, The Raven will take the necessary steps to assist you. Be wary of the Wolf Walkers.” He softened his gaze slightly when he saw the disappointment in her eyes. “You will not be harmed, Da’len. And you will not be alone.” 

She just watched him for a few moments, almost forlorn. Then she tentatively made her way to him. The Wolf watched her intently. She stopped just in front of him, and lifted her eyes to his own. Her hand made to clasp his.

A part of him ached slightly as he realized she wanted to say good bye. When her hand passed through his own he watched her eyes go slightly glassy. “I do not know when I will next see you, Amber. But you _are_ safer here in the Fade.“ Her black rimmed gaze left his.

“Be careful, Solas.” She got out before the Child of Stone shook him from his sleep to start the day.

#####################################################

_Insanity. This is all insanity._ Amber didn’t know how much longer she could hold herself together. She stood awkwardly and pushed the palms of her hands into her eyes trying to keep from crying. The Wolf watched her attentively. She cleared her throat as she gripped her arm again and swallowed, her eyes rose to his great face. The large snout moved toward her again so she backed up slightly, in an attempt to avoid it. The booming voice sounded all round her again.

‘ _Isalas?_

The words meant nothing to her so she ignored them. It was all… a lot to take in, and she didn’t really know how to process it. A rock stood to her left and she eyed it for a few moments before edging her way on to it. Her butt felt the firm matter beneath it, her legs ached from being straight for a long while. She had been sleep for, from what Solas had alluded to, two months.

Her home had been a dream, her dream, which said too much. Solas, as far as she was aware, had never lied to her and she couldn’t think of a reason he would lie about something like that. It made her cringe. All the awful things in the world had been her thoughts, her… _wishes_ come true. _No wonder humans are evil at heart._ She shuddered and pondered on what waking from that dream had meant and what her course should be. Thought of an apocalypse due to someone’s awakening conjured a vague memory of a conversation with someone about reality. The guy had said something about life was a dream and when the god, or God, or whoever it was woke up… reality would end. Her stomach bottomed out. _Did I just kill everyone?!_

“Oh. My. God. Oh my God.” Her mind raced through what Solas had said, trying to recall _what_ he had said about her waking and releasing the magic.

“Yeah, he said I would be alright. That they could live and I could live.” She blew the air from her lungs harshly, only half sure she remembered the conversation correctly. Solas had told her she had three choices. Go back, stay, and most likely die. So, really it amounted to two choices, with sub-choices. Go back, or stay.

“Should I go back?” _It would make things easier._ She went over what had happened while she was there. The reactions of people to ideas they disagreed about. Wars, torture, death. They could make her forget, he had said; but she had nothing there. She had had everything when she ignored the rest of the world. Their pain, their sorrow. 

Pain and sorrow had been her reward when she attempted to change from being hateful and narcissistic. When she had found a set of values that didn’t involve pushing others down to get ahead. Things had only gotten better for her when Brian came around. From the beginning of her life away from her family, she had expected a hard life. Hadn’t been foolish or naïve enough to believe otherwise. But it never did get any better. 

None of those people who had talked about getting to know someone despite their past had given her a chance when hers was revealed. Only when her hateful and greedy brothers had reinserted themselves back into her life had she felt better, been treated better, had her life start looking up. Only then had she grown confident in her decision to leave five years prior. Instead of the regret that plagued her of the ever-present knowledge her brothers would accept her whatever the circumstances.

But she couldn’t go back to them. Life would have continued, she would have grown complacent. And complacency always fell into apathy. And apathy is what resulted in walking away from person crying out for help. _Because to get involved meant affecting too much of your own life in a highly stressful and complicated way._ She would have reveled and partied and fallen back in her old routines and lifestyle. Fallen back into the hate and the greed of it all. 

Hate and Greed. She pondered her last few moments with them. They had shrunk to nothing. “Would they even be there if I went back?” Her voice was low and cracked. She hadn’t asked Solas about what happened to them. _Did I absorb them?_ She shuddered at the thought of almost-cannibalism. 

Her emotions were everywhere. Losing Jason and Jackson seemed to not be that big of a deal to her and it bothered her. Had she really grown that unattached to her only flesh and blood? _Were they flesh and blood? Did it matter anymore?_ A drip from her nose caught her by surprise, and she realized then she had been crying. A tear had rolled down her nose and fallen off to her hand. After wiping her eyes, she inspected the sleeve to be sure it wasn’t stained with anything. The soft fabric hadn’t changed colors when she pulled it away from her wet face, but she could feel the strange air of the Fade forming cold streaks where her tears had been.

Maybe that was because it had been her dream. _Solas said it was real, Amber._ Her own weak attempt to console herself fell flat, and her heart sank more as she stared where Solas had stood. 

To go back to what she had once called home would mean she would forever live without him. _I don’t know if I could live with that…_ It was so odd her attachment to him. _More like an obsession..._ They would _have_ to make her forget, and Amber couldn’t bear to forget him. He had been so kind and understanding throughout everything. _Guess that answers that._ She chuffed a humorless laugh at the thought. 

Eyes closed, she inhaled. When she opened them they wandered back to the sleeve of the tunic Solas had made for her. _Or given me. Or whatever._ She pulled it up around her elbow and stared at the blank skin where her tattoos used to be. She didn’t know when they had disappeared. A quick look at her hip showed the one she hated the most was gone as well. 

_They’re gone._ Her anxiety ratcheted up a few notches at the thought. While the relief she might have felt for their absence was palpable when she focused on it, the implications that this was really happening were overshadowing that feeling. Her brothers, were gone. She could hardly reconcile the strange creatures that had taken their place in the kitchen with them. But she believed Solas…

A cold wet thing touched her and she startled. Snot and tears muffled her voice when she cried out. The Wolf stared down at her with his six giant green eyes. A blink later and he had shrunk to her height and was just before her. She only jumped a little when he reached his head toward her and licked. He was only able to clean one side of her face before she pulled back.

“Who _are_ you?” She asked him, after rubbing her sleeve on her face, irritated. He only canted his head in a quizzical manner. Solas had said she was part of his pack. Like she was an animal, a wolf. She hadn’t questioned it before. _I hadn’t even questioned being an elf, really._ At the thought her hand went to her ear. It was as sensitive as ever and heat shot through her as her finger slid upward along the edge. The flesh memory of Solas’ calloused hands flickered through her mind. Her skin prickled in excitement and her hand quickly fell away, the situation was already awkward enough. 

She watched The Wolf a moment letting the stillness of the Fade calm her. His presence was a formidable thing. Though, instead of fear or anxiety, she felt the same sense of safety and security she had when tucked in his fur in the kitchen of her brothers’ home. Her hand tentatively reached out to touch his head. He leaned in closer to her and she rubbed his snout and neck. The fur was softer than anything she had felt on a living thing before. Softer than the tunic that had already been impossibly soft. The black tips of his black fur were wispy and smoke-like as they caressed her hand, holding it gently as she petted him. A drowned out laugh and sniffle left her when he huffed pleasantly at her touch.

“You’re a good boy? Aren’t you?” She spoke in a puppy dog voice and smiled at him. He responded with a glare, but let her continue petting him.

In that brief moment of clarity and respite,, any uncertainty she still held about staying fell away. The world wouldn’t die and she would do her best to make herself useful in other ways. She inhaled deeply and exhaled as she patted the Wolf on the neck with finality. In a forcibly upbeat voice, “Solas said you would stay with me, or me with you, I guess.” His ear flicked and she smiled up at him when he sat back. A quiet moment settled between the two.

Amber didn’t know how long they had sat there and watched each other, so it came as a surprise when arguing voices came up from the rocks behind The Wolf. They both watched warily as three figures came around one grouping. The Raven had returned leading two others. Amber tensed when she noticed the two were of a similar build to the man that had chased her down.

The Wolf fully turned at the commotion and sat on his haunches. The movement caught the attention of the Walkers who slowed, keeping their eyes glued to him. The giant addressed them in a flat tone. Amber couldn’t follow the conversation the four had, but it was slow and intense. The Wolf growled menacingly at a few of their exchanges causing the others to step back and address him more cautiously.

It was only when each of the elven-shaped Walkers nodded, in seeming respect, that The Wolf let them move closer to her. She tried to hide her flinch when the three distinct, masculine scents hit her.

The Raven stepped forward and addressed her in his incomprehensible language, different from the Elvhen Solas had spoken. From what she could tell, he introduced the two behind him. She eyed them both. One, in his forties it looked like, was called Avinelban. He had a dark chocolate skin tone and graying hair. Scars covered his body. When the muscles begin to flex she realized she had been staring and her eyes shot back to his face where he wore a smug leer. He had sharp, white teeth.

Second was Banereast. His skin was a lighter more copper tone. He was cleaner cut and younger than his counterpart. She met his dark grey eyes and didn’t let her own wander this time, too embarrassed to be caught looking again. His eyes went from holding expectation to disappointment as they watched each other. A bark of pleased laughter came from the other elf who stepped toward her. 

The Raven moved forward with him, and both walked with intent. Only being stopped momentarily by The Wolf who spoke in a cautionary tone. A low growl left his physical self at the same moment, she tensed when he let them by. She hadn’t really realized the ground in the Fade was so mutable until she began to scoot back away from the two. She ran into a wall that hadn’t been there when she had sat down. 

Panic rose immediately when she realized she couldn’t get away. Quickly, she moved to her feet to stand on the rock. Before she could jump away, Avinelban lithely rushed up the boulder and grabbed her by the waist. Her hands were useless against the much stronger male and her pounding heart drowned out the voice of The Raven. The strong hands gripped her chin and forced her to look upwards. His eyes were pale blue with a black ring. He was excited and way too close. 

Before she could do anything else his lips met hers and his grip tightened on her jaw to the point of pain. She gasped and he took full advantage. His tongue invaded her mouth and she froze, horrified. 

It seemed like forever as a strange heat left his tongue. He moved it to every part of her mouth, leaving a strange tingling behind. Only after he had left a trail all over her whole mouth did he attempt to move against her own tongue. She fought to keep it away, but his became long and entirely too versatile to win against. His breath didn’t taste but she felt it, warm and cold all in the same instant. He inhaled deeply just before he released her.

She spat and coughed, gagging on her fresh memories of the moment. Her body slumped to the ground, shame welling up at her inability to fight him off. When she looked up he was standing next to The Raven, smiling and saying something to Banereast, who looked sour.

“ _..a woman._ ” His tone jovial as he thumped the younger man on the back. 

‘ _This is hardly what The Elf meant, Bird._ ’ Anger seethed from above her, and the male elves looked up to find six red eyes glaring down at them. A pair moved to look at her and the red drained to their usual neon green. ‘ _Are you alright, cub?_

Amber stilled, her gaze locked on the pools of neon green. The giant head turned to face her moving toward her. All his eyes reverted to green, his nose only came so close. His warm breath ghosted over her as he inhaled then exhaled. The eyes went red again and he snapped them back at the trio. A smell she couldn’t identify in her shocked state permeated the air around them. The one who had kissed her no longer looked excited.

“ _Why are you angry, Great One? I only did as instructed._ ” The intruder questioned with great care.

‘ _You were told. She is **mine**._ ’ This statement, filled with his anger, was met with shock as the two looked to The Raven who looked unconcerned with the growing tension. They began to grow angry. Their faces twisted in disapproval and anger directed at the bird man. 

“ _You said she was young and fertile! We would have a chance at her!_ ” They were both stepping towards the elder with the intent to harm him.

‘ _Leave before I devour you all._ ’ The two startled and then made away in disgruntled haste. The great animal turned his attention to The Raven but said nothing; just watched and waited.

The ancient man leveled his apathetic look at the beast. “ _I did as the Father asked. The deed is half done._ ” His dark eyes moved to her. “ _What have you decided, **cub**_?” He questioned with annoyance and thinly veiled disdain.

“ _I-_ ”The word felt odd on her tongue, not foreign, just odd. Like she had spoken the word for as long as she had lived but never opened her mouth to utter it. Her hands trembled in uncertainty, and she fisted them to clear her thoughts, nails digging into her palms slightly. At the impatient grunt of the elder she continued tenuously “ _I don’t know! I-I want to stay, but do I have to stop… supporting that world?_ ”

‘ _You must help him._ ’ Came the deep voice of The Wolf. He had said those words before while chasing her through El Paso. Their eyes locked for a moment. She understood he wanted her to release her magic. 

“ _But they’re not just a dream! Solas said so!_ ”

His long silence informed her, he wasn’t asking, he was _telling_. The authority he commanded had a natural feel to it. Something inside of her _wanted_ to capitulate, and her insecurity in the moment made her desire to not murder an entire world waver. 

So much had happened in the last few hours. She had been assaulted… _twice_. A shiver shot up her spine at the thought. Solas had practically said good bye, at least for a while. Her brothers were gone. It was debatable they had ever truly been human. Or her brothers. And last, but certainly not least: Her world was a lie. A lie she told herself.

Emotions welled up inside her, stopping in her chest. She looked up, the tears threatened to spill over until The Wolf was before her again. Leaning in like he had a short time before. Her hand moved on its own to caress his soft fur again. Her somber heart conceded and she nodded numbly. “ _Alright._ ” 

The Raven moved quickly. Instructing her to lie down. She did as he asked, and The Wolf hovered overhead after having grown a great deal. A wave of The Raven’s decrepit hand brought the runes to life. She bent her neck to watch as he worked. Three sets of runes disappeared, slowly. He looked up expectantly when each had faded. She stared back and watched as he became impatient. “ _Well?! Release it!_ ”

She stammered, “ _W-what?_ ”

‘ _You have to let it go._ ’ Was her only aid. She looked to the Wolf. Her eyes never left his as she searched internally for anything that might remotely indicate what they had been talking about.

“ _I don’t know how?_ ” Her tears finally fell without restraint, and fear twisted her expression. _I’m really doing this?!_ Her thoughts began to spiral into a panic, but The Raven huffed impatiently and touched her forehead. A sharp pain cut across her brain as images flooded her mind. The knowledge she had lacked was suddenly there. She knew what she needed to do. 

Her mind touched her Aura and found the aberration. A small knot she hadn’t noticed before. She untied it, swiftly, and the world spun at the rush of power. Later, while thinking of this moment, she would swear she could hear screaming when she let it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's going a lot slower than I thought. But these are important things. Two chapters since this is not going like I had planned...
> 
> Enjoy. 
> 
> If this turns out more confusing let me know please. I want this to be clear. Details, please.
> 
> Danke, Immerghensi, immer!! 
> 
> Camments, concerns, questions welcome:)


	32. Chapter 32

Before anything else could happen, a cry of alarm sounded off in the distance originating from the direction of the camp. Without another word, The Raven snapped his head toward it and immediately started back at a hurried pace. The Wolf and Amber just watched him limp away quickly. 

When the birdman was out of sight, the giant turned his gaze back to her. She thought she could feel a slight joy radiate from him. An uncomfortable ball of nausea knotted up in the pit of her stomach, and her limbs grew weak. Everything that had happened was catching up with her and she couldn’t bear to look at any coherent being. On top of that, her mind was trying to grasp how quickly it all had happened. Memories from that place were harder to grab onto, and every attempt to pull one to the forefront of her thoughts ached sharply, so she let it go.

Unable to gather her wits about her, she curled up where she lay and just stared into the vast expanse of the Fade’s green sky. She saw nothing; thought nothing. She focused on the sound and feel of her own breathing, and the last thing she remembered was The Wolf’s frustrated huff as she faded into a black sleep.

######################################################################

Dorian Pavus of House Pavus, stared out over the dawn lit desert of the Hissing Wastes. His mind lingered on the strange southern Chantry Sister they had encountered that evening on the dunes. The savage, Iron Bull, had responded to her abrupt disappearance with a rather astounded two-word reply.

Dorian had only focused on the form of the woman, as her body became weightless crystals and fluttered off into the winds, leaving a bow in her wake. “The South is proving far more interesting than I had hoped.” His voice was cheerful and optimistic as his traveling companions readied for an uncomfortably warm day of rest before their departure the next evening.

The Hissing Wastes made necessary a shift to a night schedule, it had not been kind to the group. Even cold runes gave little relief from the stifling heat while the sun was high. In fact, Vivienne, Iron Bull, and he were the only ones who had little trouble adjusting. He thought it a funny thing, and said so to Vivienne; who, of course, only made a snide remark about talent and willpower. The rest were still grumbling when they tucked themselves in their tents. 

The hobo apostate had been the most amusing. The heat made even _that_ sleeper uncomfortable enough to have trouble drifting to the Fade. He chuckled at how disagreeable the elf had been at breakfast the evening before. Varric had questioned the elf’s propensity to ponder the lost empires of the world, and he responded in a clipped manner. Dorian’s eyes wandered to where the elf sat near the dwindling flames, staring into them.

Solas was _very_ attractive for an elf. Taller, by far, than any he had encountered in the past. It was no wonder the Inquisitor had become infatuated. The sharp elven angles in his face were somehow different, sharper; like he was of purer stock than any other. A smile pulled at Dorian’s lips when the Inquisitor slipped onto the log next to the apostate, who was brought out of his reverie.

She leaned in close, conspiratorially as she spoke. A slight blush and a genuine smile gracing her lips as she greeted him. Her blue tattoos shown darker in the pre-dawn and night, while almost transparent in the day. A sure way to make them noticeable at all hours. She seemed to be very devout in her belief of the Dalish creators. A devotee of the god Elgarnan or some such. Though at night, when the apostate was asleep, she would have discussions with Cassandra. Dorian was surprised at her in depth questions about the Seeker’s faith. She would ponder what she had learned and then head to her tent to sleep. 

The Seeker always looked rather pleased after their chats. _Her_ demeanor was abrasive most of the time, but the closer she became with the Inquisitor the less so she seemed. Not that Dorian had had much of a chance to speak with the Seeker. The two had not worked closely together, as of yet. 

As for the Inquisitor, she was young. She held herself with the pride of her people. He enjoyed her presence and the two got along quite well. She had picked up on his… _preferences_ almost immediately, but the two still engaged in harmless flirtation. He enjoyed spending time with her immensely. And she felt comfortable enough with him to share many of her more candid thoughts. Had even secretly shared her name with him; which from what others had implied, was a rare bit of trust. She was very different than what he had expected of the Dalish.

His mind moved to thoughts of her people, the rumored Dalish who occupied the Empire. Savages, primitives, and bandits were the most common descriptors among his social circles- hardly what one should consider desirable lifestyles. 

Though, from what he had gleaned from the Inquisitor, the Dalish were a fascinating, exotic race he had yet to encounter before joining the Inquisition. The few mages he had made contact with in Redcliff had told him those Dalish the Templars had pulled into the Southern Circles had banded together shortly after the abolition of the Circles. They made their way into the wilderness to locate their clans. He had been relieved they had avoided the fate of those mages left at the mercy of the Venatori. Thoughts of Gereon sobered his mood and he passively watched the two elves interact. 

Elven slaves had fantasies of escaping and running off to the Dalish. He had learned as much from a few candid discussions with some of the family slaves. A few stories of those who had made the attempt. Only a small handful managed to evade slavers hired to bring them back. No one knew if any of them had made it to the haven of their wild brothers.

Dorian frowned at the memory of those slaves they had been releasing over the past week. A majority had been elves. Even the Dalish had not been spared. Not that he thought they might be.

Even without the tattoos, one would have been able to tell those raised Dalish apart. They had an air about them that wasn’t defeated. They despaired, most definitely, but the wild elves had a fire in their eyes. One had even mentioned he had planned to pick the lock that very night before the group had come upon the tainted campsight. Bluster or not, he had an impressive air about him that put him in charge of his small band of refugees. 

Sadly, the wounds the young man had sustained in his resistance, to either being captured or over the course of his imprisonment, were not healing properly. The Red Templars had not been kind. He shivered at the memory of the men and women consumed by the vile substance. He was still learning how to deal with it. A good portion of those who had been released had been infected during their imprisonment. The Templars had, most definitely, not been cautious when handling their prisoners.

Forcefully refocusing his attention from unpleasant realities, Dorian thought of the worried look the Inquisitor had had when the Nightingale had informed her of the troubles that plagued her clan. Later she had told him she had requested to go personally to check on them, but her advisors had advised against the idea. It would bring undue attention to the elves and their issues. The Spymaster had ensured their safety and insisted that keeping as low a profile on the situation as possible was the best course of action. The Altus agreed. 

Warmth hit his face and he turned to see the sun peeking above the horizon. “The sun rises.” He announced to the group still awake. A silence hovered over them as it moved slowly from the jaws of the sand sea. A brief respite from their burdens as they stilled, silhouettes in the dawn. 

Their time in the Hissing Wastes was ending. The second, and hopefully last, trek through the Dales ahead of them. Then, finally, back to Skyhold for rest and preparation for an Orlesian Ball.

#################################################################

Sera grunted again as she struggled to roll up Droopy’s bedroll. She and Blackwall were the only ones at camp. The twelve lizards she had searched a good part of the morning for underneath logs and rocks, were proving to be expert climbers. They insisted on climbing up and trying to get smooshed. She shook the roll out again knocking the little buggers back to the bottom. A soft chuckle sounded from the cold firepit and she glared up at Blackwall. “Shut yer face, Beardy! Come help!” He laughed again, but stood to help his friend. 

The Emerald Graves was a nightmare. The heat was grueling, the air made being dry close to impossible. It almost made her wish for the Hissing Wastes again. _Not._ They were tying up loose ends on their way back to Skyhold from the desert. 

Sera swatted at a biting bug that had landed on the tip of her ear. Despite the constant sweat she was in a relatively pleasant mood. Cassandra had taken Bull, Dorian, and Vivienne to investigate an abandoned mansion. The Inquisitor, Solas, Cole, and Varric were all investigating the ruins that had been discovered by the Dalish. Sera had refused to enter the ruins. She also refused to remain outside with the Dalish who had decided to wait outside. 

As it was, she was upset with both Solas and the Inquisitor. Solas had not shut up during their escapade at the Forbidden Oasis. He hadn’t actually opened his loud mouth all that much, but Sera just knew the light behind his cold smug eyes was brimming with an elfy lecture on the disgusting elfy ruins they had discovered. The Inquisitor had allowed white spirit shite to light her up. It had come from a coffin… _Least we won’t be goin’ back any time soon._ She cringed and pushed the memory from the Oasis away. 

“What’s the matter, Sera? Still wishing you had gone with the Inquisitor to investigate the history of your people?” There was a slight hint of amusement in the Warden’s deep voice.

Sera cringed, “Bleck!! You shut it, or you’ll find slugs in your boots!” She pulled the successfully rolled bedroll from his hands as he smirked at her.

“Maker, No! Not that!” The Warden mocked his friend with a playful glint in his eye and a smirk under his beard. He watched Sera fiddle with the straps of Solas’ pack. “What did he do to deserve this?”

The elf patted her work as she finished and answered, “You just know he wanted to go on and on about how wonderful the prigs who built those ruins were. And then the Dalish friggin pasteing about all ‘look at me holding on to dead shit.’ _Not_ sticking around that mess for nothin.” She rolled her eyes when he just chuckled and moved back around to where he had been preparing dinner. The sun was getting lower in the sky and it would be cool soon enough a cooking fire wouldn’t make them miserable.

“Really? I thought he was rather quiet most of our stay there. And, almost reverent when we went in the ruins back at the Oasis.” He shivered and Sera knew he was remembering what the Creepy had said when they got near the door. 

“That’s what I’m sayin’! Mr. Woo-lookit-what-the-dead-elves-built. You know his mouth would have been goin’ off if Viv hadn’t said nothin’ about his clothes. First time I’ve ever been glad she opened her face…” She mumbled the last bit when she examined what Blackwall had pulled together for supper.

“Aye, I suppose…” He laughed good naturedly. “Did you see the way the Inquisitor watched him examine the door to the fire rooms? And how closely she stood near him when they encountered the Dalish women in the Plains. He seems to attract those elven women like flies to honey.”

“Ugh! I know it’s disgustin’. Should’ve expected it though. Her being all Dalish-like. Nothin’ more Dalish than spreadin’ um to rebuild the Empire.” Her tone turned sly as she spoke next, “I tell you? The night watch in one of the towers in the gulch at the Emprise caught them snogging next to the skull thingy?” Her face scrunched up in disgust at the thought. “I know they want to bump uglies, but _there_. Blehg!” She made a face and stuck out her tongue in displeasure as Blackwall laughed.

“That may be his thing.” Blackwall suggested amused. Sera shuddered at the thought.

“Uhg! Not thinkin’ about that. He probably falls asleep part way through.” Blackwall laughed and then his face pulled into an odd look of speculation and  
repulsed amusement at her suggestion. Sera cackled at her own joke and then noticed his face. “Wat?” 

“…Solas spends a lot of time in the Fade, right?” He mused

“Yeah, found him sleepin’ plenty a times I had to go through to the kitchens.” Sera had used his atrium to get away from many of those chasing her. Most everyone tended to leave his rooms alone.

“He talks a lot about Spirits and Demons, right?” He turned his eyes to Sera; who looked at him in confusion for a few moments, “A _lot_.” His emphasis clicked with their previous topic.

“Wat? You don’t think…?” She looked to the fire then back to Blackwall. Then she cringed horrified. “Uhg! Ol’ Droopy Ears and… demons?” Her disgust was mixed with a delight at the thought he would be so gross.

“It’s possible.” Blackwall sat back with a seriousness that the situation warranted, wiping his hands on a cloth before resuming his work with the raw meat before him. 

“Nah! He wouldn’t?” He directed a pointed look in her direction, asking if she would put it past the apostate. “Uhg. Just gross.” Her face twisted into various states of revulsion.

“We could always ask.” He laughed at the prospect.

“You do it!” She countered with a cackle.

“Why me?!”

“You’re the one who thought it up!” He only laughed again at her response, and agreed to do so at the next opportune moment. Sera shook the disturbing thoughts from her mind, and the two moved on to other topics as Blackwall started the evening meal.

####################################################

Varric sighed as they crested the pass leading to Skyhold. It had been a long trek through the desert and the Dales. He had enough notes to write a whole book on those adventures alone. His mount, as tired as he, paused under him as he stared across the deep valley to his temporary home. 

The caravan of soldiers and volunteers moved past him following Kumquat and the rest of her traveling companions. They were all ready to be back at the stronghold. Behind its walls, in the small bit of civilization securely surrounded by the harsh and wild Frostbacks. He would never leave Kirkwall again. Even if he had to be chained to the columns in the Gallows for the rest of his life.

Being anywhere in the vicinity of Knight-Commander Merideth was scarier than a lot of what had been happening. An exasperated chuckle left him as he thought about their current troubles. They were being solved one by one. The Breach had been sealed. The chaos from the Mage Templar War was being settled across the land. Plus, they were well on their way to being prepared to face down Corypheus… again. _Thank the Maker the people in charge of the endeavor had access to a means that might actually put him down for good._

He remembered the battle Hawke and he had with the supposed-to-be-long-dead Magister. The sights and the sounds had been awful. Things he would be thankful for as an author, but always strive to blot from his vivid imagination. His writer’s mind went over those events every time he laid eyes on darkspawn, which had been happening too often lately. The part he hated remembering the most was the smell the thing gave off.

It was so odd it made his teeth ache, even as a memory. Not too bitter, not too sweet. Somewhere inbetween with a disturbing scent that reminded him of Kirkwall. The sickly scent of rotted flesh he was familiar with, but also something ten times as worse. He shook the recollections from his mind to be sorted out as he recorded it down for his manuscript. He smiled as his eyes landed back on the fortress. He once again went over the structure. 

Both the body of Skyhold and the barbican, had been carved from the mountain as if from the inside out. There was a seamless transition from the actual peaks into the walls. One would not have guessed it there, save the holes carved into the mountainside and the _very_ Ferelden tower reaching out over the highest and sharpest looking of battlements. 

He had yet to take Kumquat up on her offer to show him the view. But then, he had lots to arrange and worry about with his best friend on his way in from his stay in Antiva. Varric had called in a favor with a high-profile member of the Merchants Guild to get Hawke passage into the capital. All for the mere price of a favor and a response to an upcoming summons from the Merchants Guild.

He absentmindedly scratched through the stiff mane on the animal he had dubbed Bristle and nudged him forward. He much preferred walking to riding. The farthest he had gone was into Ferelden, with his brother’s trek into the Deep Roads, which had required horses and wagons to reach.

He had very much not wanted to visit that place again, but Valammar had needed tending. The Darkspawn had found a way into the sight. He thought back to their cleanup run through the old trading thaig. Something seemed off about it. The Carta had been doing something in that dreary place. It set his hair on end. And he definitely disliked how close it had been to that hurriedly constructed dock that the Templars had been using to ship the Red stuff.

The shiver went down his spine as Bristle stepped up onto the wood of the large lift in the barbican. He disliked the trip up immensely, but it beat the stairs. Even though it could fit eight mounts with one wagon and fifteen people on their feet, it still felt too claustrophobic to be comfortable.

“That’s Varric Tethras!” The loud whisper reached his ears and he smiled, pretending he didn’t hear the young woman. She had put a decent amount of effort into hiding her excitement, but it still leaked out in her words. Normally, Varric would turn and engage his fans, but today he just wanted a hot bath and a nice long sleep. 

At the top, the heavy lift doors swung open to reveal the long bridge that lead to the actual gates. He still had a good half hour trek to the keep and his room. _Hopefully we will have a good chance to rest, and I can organize this mess of notes._

Bristle seemed to understand they were at the end of the long journey. Her hooves moved more quickly down the bridge toward the half-raised portcullis. Beyond was a small village. The fortress could house around a thousand people. Its storehouses could hold enough to feed that many for up to a year. They lined the outer wall. Beyond the village were the gates to the keep. That was big enough to house the populace during an onslaught, small enough to be considered ‘cozy’ for a fortress. 

The town housed a good deal of the people who worked in the keep, as well as a good number of the wounded and those on leave. Most of the housing was temporary, but it was homely al the same. Shops and stands lined the main street as he rode on people going on about their days only stopping to watch as the few stragglers made their way forward. 

His eyes lingered on the entrance to the keep, he could see the Inquisitor in a deep conversation with people who looked like Josephine and the Nightingale. As he drew closer, he noticed the Inquisitor’s demeanor had grown lighter than she had been. He was pretty sure the three’s endeavors to assist her clan had gone well. The thought made his own burden a bit lighter. Made the prospect of Hawke’s coming to Skyhold just that much better of an idea than the bad one he had convinced himself it was.

The Dalish waved to him and he waved back giving her his signature smile. He passed the three into the keep and headed straight for the stable hands waiting to take his reins and get his animal taken care of while he went to take care of himself.

He trekked up the steps to the dais, smiling and greeting people as he passed. His rooms were in the east wing off of the east tower, in the old servants’ quarters along the outer wall. Dorian, Solas, and he had rooms next to each other. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around how all of this space was inside the seemingly small castle. It was like the Singing Maiden at Haven. Small on the outside, surprisingly cavernous on the inside. He had asked Solas and Dorian if magic could be used to alter space inside an object, like a box or safe, once.

The two had disagreed, as one would have guessed. Solas had said yes, which he was inclined to believe, if only for knowing the elf longer. Dorian had said it was more illusion than anything. Varric thought the idea was intriguing and so in his story magic would make the inside of the fortress bigger.

He smiled to himself as he placed his notes on the desk in his room and gathered his towel and a clean set of musty smelling clothes. He stuck his nose in it, relishing the scent. It meant he was safe for the next while anyway. As he locked his door, Solas stepped out of his own door with a neat stack of clothes and a towel.

“Well, Chuckles, looks like great minds think alike.” He smiled broadly and nodded to his own bundle.

“I would disagree with that statement on a number of levels, but as of this moment, I think you have the right of it.” He watched as the elf smirked at him and motioned for him to lead the way. Varric clapped him on the back as he moved forward, the elf shortening his long stride to make the walk more comfortable for him. 

Varric liked Solas. For all his oddness, he had a considerate streak to those on his good side. Which was more difficult than one would think for a secluded hermit who was most definitely touch-starved. They passed the trip down to the communal baths in small talk about the changes made to Skyhold while they had been gone.

The young elven girl at the door of the baths was looking over a piece of parchment when they came forward. “What’s so interesting?” He rumbled, satisfied when she startled at his voice. The blonde girl had large hazel eyes that were drawn to the tall elf beside him. She was familiar, Varric couldn’t place his finger on where he had seen her before, most likely Haven, but he felt like her presence was significant.

“Th—The men’s bath is over that way.” Her voice was small and her eyes never left Solas, who stared down at her seemingly oblivious to the girl’s growing discomfort. Her slim arm motioned to her left and the dwarf looked in the direction she indicated to find a guard drifting off to sleep on a barrel. “The Ambassador asked for the bath’s to be cleared for the Inquisitor and her guard…” The girl finished off lamely with a dusting of pink in her ears and a beet red face.

“We definitely won’t be upset about that.” Varric smiled at her.

“Thank you.” Was all Solas replied before he turned toward the baths.

“Have I seen you somewhere?” The Dwarf questioned.

“I was back in Haven, M-master Tethras.” She began to squirm under his scrutiny. 

“I thought so! Did we ever eat together? You seem familiar.”

“N-no Ser!” Her eyes finally left the apostate to snap back to him. “I was assigned to the Laundry and Vat house.” He was thinking of how to describe the light dusting of pink in her ears that only the elves boasted, when her words registered.

“The Vat House? You didn’t happen to work with Lucky- er Amber, did you?” His memories came into focus.

“Y-yes.” Her demeanor changed. She stood slightly taller and spoke more cautiously. “She saved me from something terrible. Do you know if she’s alright? We haven’t heard from her since Haven…” She let the words die, concern pooling in her eyes.

“According to Chuckles,” he indicated the direction of the men’s bath, “says that she is safe where she is, and we shouldn’t worry too much.” The girl deflated slightly at his words, but regained herself before she responded.

“I had hoped she was alright. Is she going to come to Skyhold?” 

“Not that I know of yet, Miss…” He leaned in and made a gesture for her to give her name.

“Oh-oh, yes. My name is Ashara.” She dipped a slight and nervous curtsey.

“Well Ashara- some time we’ll have to sit down and discuss our mutual friend.” He smiled when she nodded. “How about you and your other friend…?”

“Margarete. I will speak with her. We usually do lunch at the galley in the village.” 

“Sounds good I will find you the day after tomorrow!” Varric gave her his winning smile and strode off to catch up with Solas.

The bath was vented with two windows near the ceiling that faced the inside of the keep. The dwarf strode in, excited to get the grit of the road off. When he rounded the corner from the changing area, he strode in on a romance writer’s dream.

Solas the tallest and broadest shouldered elf, possibly in existence, was rising from the steaming bath waters. His profiled face was angled up toward the ceiling as he emerged. The firelight from the torches and sunlight from the windows caught his etched features in tantalizing clarity. His arm and stomach muscles taut as he brushed the droplets from the top of his bald head and eyes. The man looked like one of those fabled elven gods. Done rinsing, the elf strode through the waist deep bath to the edge of the pool to sit and soak.

Varric made sure to memorize the scene. He wasn’t planning on working on anymore romance… but a steamy bath scene with the lead in his new book would bring in the lady readers like a mage to Lyrium. _Hair. Definitely needs hair. And it would go well with the love tri-_

“Master Tethras, staring is considered rude. Even if you are a writer.” The slightly smug tone in his voice and smirk on his lips fit him as he reclined against the wall of the bath, arms stretched out on either side. Varric caught sight of the two others in the bath. The Iron Bull and Dorian were sharing appreciative glances at one another, having most likely witnessed the same eye-catching scene.

Varric didn’t miss a beat. “Well, Chuckles, writers have to get inspiration from somewhere. Why not the badly dressed, lonely apostate with the hidden body of a god?” He strode to the empty bath and disrobed as he spoke. The warm water felt good on his sore feet and ass as he gently slipped in. He reclined in the same fashion as Solas, relishing the relative privacy rarely had on the road.

Solas only chuckled to himself at the dwarf’s comment, and Varric watched an odd expression cross the elf’s face too quick to read. There had been a sardonic hint in the laugh that caught the dwarf’s attention.

“What’s so funny?”

“I rather like the way I dress.” Solas was the most relaxed Varric had seen him. It was almost unsettling. He cut his eyes to Dorian and Bull, they had noticed as well.

Dorian cast a curious expression toward the man in question as he washed his back with a long-handled scrub brush. “Really Solas, you would find the Orlesians much more agreeable if you put a little color into your attire.” He examined Solas’ torso for a quiet moment. “Something in black maybe? Or a stately blue. If you insist on green, surely Josephine could find something in a darker shade.” Varric watched the scene growing more amused.

“Dorian, leave the man alone. He already has a legion of fawning maidens and gents. He’s doing us all a favor.”

“Not all, Varric. Those of us with better taste, find finer clothes and proper fit far more attractive.” 

“As interesting as listening to you guys talk about putting him in better clothes isn’t, it’s time I got back to training.” Varric knew Bull and Solas were on not so great terms. The two rubbed each other the wrong way during any semblance of a decent conversation by moving the topic to politics. For the most part, they steered clear of each other when they could. 

The Iron Bull stood and climbed out of the bath. Dorian watched him as he wrapped the small towel around his massive form. “You’re always welcome to come and enjoy the show Dorian. I can always put on a private one in your room later.” He gave Dorian a winning grin and sauntered out with the blustering mage still staring.

After he had made sure the mercenary was gone Dorian relaxed back to soak after a good deal of scrubbing. The three men fell into a companionable silence and enjoyed a few moments of relaxation.

Varric broke the silence after a few moments of contemplation. “That girl by the women’s baths was a friend of Amber’s.”

“Is that so?” was all the elf replied, he didn’t move from his relaxed position.

“She asked about her.”

“She is safe, and in a far better place than before.”

“And I doubt she would want to come back?”

“I would be surprised if she would.” 

“It was pretty bad…” He deflated a bit before continuing, “You’re sure she is alright?”

Solas sighed and shifted away from the side of the bath. He turned his gaze on the dwarf and continued, “As I have stated before, she is much better off where she is, Master Tethras. Despite the dangers she might face. She has a guardian of sorts as well.”

“Are you talking about that odd, dirty little elf woman from Haven?” Dorian interjected himself into the conversation.

Varric looked over to the Tevinter, “That’s right, you came too late to meet Amber. She was another person to fall from a rift. Spoke of a different world. She wore odd clothes and had a weird device that could play music. Would’ve made a fortune too if-”

“Regardless of where she came from, she is no longer the concern of the Inquisition.” Solas’ voice held an irritated edge as he looked toward the dwarf.

“What happened to the young lady?” The Tevinter moved to the side of his bath closest to the other two occupants.

“I hardly see where any of this information is relevant.” Solas’ protest fell on deaf ears. 

“Kumquat didn’t tell you?” Varric raised his brows in surprise, “By some twist of fate they fell into the same hole. The Inquisitor had to dig Amber from the piles of snow that blocked the entrance. And when they had made it about halfway through the cave system below Haven, the came across some demons. You know that thing she does were she can open a Rift? Sometimes it sucks demons back into the Fade?” Dorian nodded, grey eyes alight with curiosity. 

“Well she apparently discovered that down in the cave system. When she opened her first rift, poor Amber was caught in the pull and sucked right into the Fade.” He made complementary hand gestures as he spoke.

“Fascinating!” Replied the Altus. “You spoke of a different world? What did you-“

“The point is moot, she is no longer in the custody of the Inquisition. I do not believe there are any realistic scenarios that would bring her back into voluntary interaction with us. Especially after the treatment she received throughout her previous stay!” Varric and Dorian, both, gave the elf a look of shock at the aggressive interruption. Varric’s surprise at Solas’ odd behavior didn’t last long. 

“Oh, I can think of something that would bring her back.” He smirked as he remembered the night she started sleeping in the elf’s cabin. How she had burrowed into the elf’s chest when he pulled her close at the Qunari’s offer of assistance.

“And what would that be?”

“Oh, _come on_ , Chuckles!” He laughed at the elf’s absurd obliviousness. “She’s smitten with you. Her and half the elven women in Thedas! Not to mention-”

“Her fondness of me does not constitute infatuation. We are acquaintances.” Varric’s smirk bloomed into a smug smile at the twitch that had developed in the elf’s left eyebrow.

“This is developing quite nicely!” Dorian was pleased by the gossip. “While the Inquisitor has never spoken of this girl by name, perhaps this has something to do with her questions of allergies to elfroot and lyrium?”

“You would be correct, Sparkler!” He slapped the water to add emphasis, sending a few droplets onto the irritated elf.

“By her irritation and seeming avoidance of the subject, their affections for our dear apostate rivaled one another?” 

“Right again!” Solas almost scowled at the continued subject of their conversation. He stood and pulled himself from the bath.

“Aww, Chuckles. Don’t run away! You’ve got a bigger fan club than you would believe. You’re just so stand offish they can’t bring themselves to approach you.” Varric teased him, and shared an amused look with Dorian.

“The Inquisition is better served without such nonsense.” He had dressed quickly and was striding out of the baths as he gritted, “Good day gentlemen.”

Varric and Dorian shared a good round of laughter before relaxing back into their respective tubs. “Chuckles, needs a good time.” 

“Quite so. Maybe even more than a wardrobe change.” Dorian stated as he began to scrub himself with soap again.

“We’ll have to get him and Kumquat some quality alone time the next time we’re out.”

“I find that to be an excellent idea, Varric. For them both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this wasn't the best chapter. A filler chapter giving you information on some of the rest of the characters, and information on how things are progressing.
> 
> Dorian and Sera aren't my favorite characters and I think it really showed here. Could you give me an idea of what would have made this chapter better. Character wise? And also what other information would have been useful at this point in the story.
> 
> Immerghensi is awesome.
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns. As usual. 
> 
> And... Thanks for reading. Amber's still struggling on!


	33. Chapter 33

Solas could hear the two men laugh as he strode into the late afternoon sun. The irritation from the conversation fell away as he walked on; the relaxing bath he had hoped to achieve, lost to gossip. Over the past few weeks he had been rather productive. Agents were placed in important positions across Thedas. The location of every artifact had been discovered by his people and only waited for him to activate them. He was even aware of where the Wardens had slinked off to, and was maneuvering the right information into the hands of the Nightingale’s agents. As time was all that was left for the moment, he had felt he deserved to relax even his closely guarded personality for a short time. Payment for that mistake had come in the form of entertainment for the Tevinter and the Child of Stone. He would not forget again.

It had only been a year since he had awoken to this world. Time seemed to speed up around the quicklings and he had to deliberately pay attention to everything. He no longer had the time to spend months or years on one particular operation, project, or indulgence; especially when days and months _could not_ be allowed to pass him by like they used to. 

He sighed as he strode past the young woman in front of the women’s baths. She was flustered again, unable to look him in the face like she had before. His eyes lingered on her ears again. Though her face was red as blood, her ears where only a slight pink near the tips. Just enough to be visible. None of those he had made a passing flattering comment had a modicum of the old trait. _Not like…_

He remembered Amber’s blushing face as his eyes left the woman. A small smile graced his lips as he remembered how easily her ears reddened. She was true Elvhen. One of those he was fighting for. 

It had been a long while since he had seen her. When his mind was quiet, her saddened eyes were almost haunting tightened his chest for some reason. The memory of the caressing magic of her hand as it passed through his own made him regret... He shook the thought from his mind as he mounted the dais steps into the keep.

He had taken only one opportunity to check on her in the past weeks, only to find The Wolf had moved her on after the Raven had performed the language spells. While Solas could track them down with little trouble, he felt it was best he left her alone. He was loath to admit the Child of Stone was even remotely correct in his assertions, but she had depended on him a great deal in Haven. Better she learned of her unfortunate native land with her kin than with him.

“She is safe.” He reminded himself when he reached the platform, again pushing away any qualms about leaving her in The Wolf’s care. The nagging thoughts of her that came at inopportune moments. The mage paused and looked out over the village beyond the keep walls. His eyes lingering on the shadows lining the streets. Spouses and children of the higher-ranking members of the army, as well as wounded and those servants who care for the keep.

One day his people, _her_ people, would be there, reclaiming their world from these shadows. Those lost would never be brought back, but the future of those left would be wide open. He would not be there to witness it, but he would make sure it happened. And then? Time would erase his failures. 

He turned toward the large audience chamber doors, his long legs skipping a few of the thin steep steps as he made his way upward. Inside was a swarm of visiting people. Mostly Orlesian nobles and Ferelden upper class. He paid them little attention as he made his way through to his atrium.

###########################################

She became aware sometime later, though a fog lay heavily on her consciousness. When her eyes opened the light hurt her head enough she sucked air in through her teeth and clenched them closed again. The slab of black rock beneath her felt uncomfortably hard and she shifted off her side to her back rubbing the sleep from her eyes and the crusted drool from her lip.

A sharp pain cut through her palm and finger when she roughly wiped her mouth. Light green eyes blinked rapidly to adjust to the light. Blood ran from where her teeth cut her hand. Her brow furrowed and she carefully felt her mouth with her left hand. Sure enough, her canines had grown sharper than before she had slept. She distractedly wiped an oozing smear on her shirt as she sat up, joints creaking as if she hadn’t moved in years.

The haze over her brain made thinking hard, so it was a few moments before she realized The Wolf was missing. A knot of worry built in her gut. _Did he leave?_

She scanned the local area for any signs of the beast. Her heart began pounding faster with each failed attempt to pick up a trace of him. She shifted her head to focus her hearing better. 

When she could pick up no distinct sounds she felt a fearful whine leave her throat. It startled her and she jumped slightly, the breath she sucked in tasted and smelt of The Wolf; but it was faint. He had not been in the area for at least a few hours. Her hands clamped onto the slab of rock and she pulled herself up. The eternity of the Fade spreading out before her, she could feel the panic of loneliness begin to settle in. 

It felt like forever before she noticed a large dark outline moving swiftly toward her. Her body tensed to run, or fight, until her eyes caught the tell-tale glow of his six green eyes. She released the breath she held and shifted to the ground to wait for him. 

Her legs were shaky as she slipped off the slab, and checked her hand again. The wound had closed leaving the smeared blood to dry. When she glanced down to where she had wiped her hand off, she found her shirt was unmarred. When she gained her balance, she glanced back to where she had seen the faint silhouette and was alarmed to find it was moving closer at a rapidly growing pace.

He was black and moving steadily forward. She felt a shiver down her spine as the scene was creepy, silent, and reminiscent of… she couldn’t recall what it reminded her of as a sharp ache had begun to build as she attempted, but it had been frightening.

The Wolf was towering over her in the next blink with a carcass at his feet. Her eyes lingered on the bundle an unsettlingly delicious smell wafting up from it. ‘ _You are awake._ ’ The words distracted her and she felt a warmth replace the worry at his statement. He settled on his haunches, his head rising a few inches to at least nine feet as he sat. She craned her neck to keep eye contact.

“ _Y-yes._ ” She stuttered, still unused to the language.

‘ _I am pleased you are awake again. It has been quite a while and I had worried you had fallen into the long sleep, little cub._ ’ She scowled at his endearment.

“ _I am not a child. I am…_ ” Her mind drifted back to her conversation with Solas about her age. _How old am I? Solas said millennia? What about in-_ She couldn’t remember where she had been before falling face first into the snow and meeting up with Solas and company. The sharp stabbing pain would pulse behind her eyes when she tried. Her current situation came back to her, she was defending herself, “I am _not_ a little cub! At least use my name!”

‘ _Bloody Twilight, then._ ’ He tilted his head slightly at that.

“ _What?! Where’d that come from?!_ ” The absurd out of nowhere moniker swept all caution away with confusion. ” _No! My name is, is--_ ” The pain began pulsing again, her eyes felt like a sharp like a knife was digging into the back of her eyeball. She had a name, she knew she did. Solas called her ‘Da’len’ and… a spike went right through her frontal lobe and she fell to her knees. 

giant head was suddenly helping her down slowly and she squeezed his soft coat as she slipped to the ground. Her breaths were heaving as the pain radiated out in small waves. “Amber, _my name is_ Amber Argent!” Her eyes lifted to the Wolf who watched her closely, her breaths heavy and laborious. She felt a trickle pool at the crest of her lip and stuck her tongue out to investigate. Blood. Her nose was bleeding, the pain had been intense, but she had regained her name.

After a few more of her calming breaths The Wolf responded in a flat tone, ‘ _You were renamed Bloody Twilight when you were chosen as a Well. I didn’t let them remove the brand on the back of your neck. Your mother put it there. This other name was never yours._ ’ Amber stared up at him in confusion and reached up to the back of her neck. A raised bit of skin in an odd pattern she couldn’t discern now resided there. She remembered nothing. And shrugged at the information. Wherever she had been before meeting Solas hardly seemed to matter at that point. 

Amber looked back to The Wolf, “ _What do we do now?_ ”

‘ _We eat. You must, after having been asleep so long._ ” She only gave him a blank stare until her stomach bubbled and squealed. She took in a deep breath and the delicious scent of the bundle he had dropped pulled her attention away from him. “I have brought us a meal. You will need to learn to hunt. It is easier as a pack.” Amber nodded, not really listening, as she carefully pulled back the cloth that it was bundled in. 

_I hunger._

She regretted it immediately as a mutated face with a giant mouth and giant sharp teeth lay beneath. She pulled back quickly and she looked up at The Wolf in disgust. “ _What the **fuck** is that?!_ ”

‘ _I was only able to find a wraith in this area. The other Spirits have moved on, and you cannot eat the Wolf Walkers yet._ His eyes never left her as he spoke. She turned away and began scanning the surrounding area for any sign of something else to eat. 

It was a few seconds before his words registered. “ _What?! Eat who, are you crazy?!_ ” When she whipped her head back to him, a certain part of reality snapped into place. Her eyes widened and she took in how tall he actually was, of _what_ he actually was. She stepped back, a small sliver of fear seizing her.

The animal watched as she began to back away slowly. When she stumbled on a rock and fell onto the stone slab she had slept on, he huffed in aggravation and stood. Heart pounding, she watched with alarm as he bent down and tore a chunk from the wraith as if it were a piece of wet bread.

Her stomach rolled at the same time the delicious scent wafting from the dead thing swept over her, causing her to salivate. He lobbed the chunk at her and she caught it. Her bright green gaze locked on it in the air and didn’t leave it; even when The Wolf began devouring the other portion.

She was so hungry…

Her stomach gave a loud growl and The Wolf paused to look up at her. She felt her face flame and stared at him until he went back to eating. Her eyes fell to the delightfully smelling thing in her arms. It looked sickly and gross but her stomach began to gurgle again and her mouth started to salivate. She chanced a glance up at him again, just in time to watch a rather juicy string snap and wrap around the top part of his muzzle. He didn’t notice it and continued to gnaw at his meal, no longer paying her attention.

She slowly backed away and eyed a place where she could run through. She tensed to bolt when Solas’ face flashed through her mind. Solas said she could trust this animal

*********************************************************************

Amber Alice Argent slipped back into consciousness with a painful sneeze. This was the second time her black muzzle had been buried inside of some poor Spirit when her sentient self came back to life.

She pulled her nose out of the carcass and licked it clean. The black Spirit ooze had a tart citrusy flavor to it. She stared down at the dead creature and determined from the paling yellow ‘skin’ it was another Spirit of Annoyance. A fleeting sense of wonder at how she always seemed to track them down the fastest, passed over her and was gone. She turned to look up at her companion for an explanation. After such a long time, he was able to answer her questions even if she couldn’t communicate coherently. Only this time , his usual place of ‘ever looming shadow’ was vacant and she looked around the current island. He was nowhere on the small, mile-wide plain. 

_Where is he?_ Her ears perked higher up on her head and she slowly swiveled to try and locate any sign of him. He was never very far away.

When she had turned enough that her neck was straining, she heard a growl off the far west edge. She huffed as she stood and trotted over to peek down and see what he was doing. She sat on her haunches and directed her green four-eyed stare at the scene a good deal out and below her. Her friend was trying to take down another Spirit of Pride.

She watched as The Wolf taunted the beast into charging and then deftly ripping one of its larger plates off. She felt her maw pull into a wolf’s grin. His was a tactic used often, and worked every time. _Easy._ Soon enough Pride was on the ground being pried open by the strategic removal of its outer soft layers. These were just under the plates and some of the best parts of the beast. The Wolf had allowed her to taste it twice in the time she had been learning to hunt.

Her mouth shut as images of weeks before came to the forefront of her mind. It startled her slightly as she recalled the past less and less the longer she stayed in her current form. At least she thought it was weeks, it was never night in the Fade, always a murky green marbled with other brighter shades of green. 

The Wolf had moved them on from where she had woken. Disappointed that she hadn’t seen Solas in the short time they stayed there, her pace was sluggish. His was relentless. He kept going ahead to scout out the area, only to come back a short way and impatiently wait for her to catch up. After six or so of her sleep cycles, The Wolf had woken her with a bite to her shoulder.

The metallic scent of blood had permeated the air and his blood red eyes had been frightening. When he had released her, her eyes had focused on his enormous teeth. The K-9 that had punctured her shoulder was twice the size of her hand. Even in her fading memories the image of drops of swirled black and red dripping from his large teeth to the ground, was clear. His deep disembodied voice complained about her speed and in ability to remain quiet during a hunt. His attempts to convince her to shape shift were ended by in her own lack of motivation.

And so, she found herself trapped in the mouth of a giant predator. What followed was perhaps the most painful experience she had ever endured in her living memory. Her skeletal frame had taken on what she could only describe as a boil. Her bones felt like they were _boiling_ as her body morphed into The Wolf’s desired form for her. Nothing else hurt, or at least that pain had drowned the rest out.

To say she was surprised by the form he had chosen would have been a lie. To say she was surprised by the fact that she was just as comfortable in the new form as the old, was a bullseye.

When she had shakily stood on her four new legs it only felt as if she had been lying down for too long. Adjusting to the lower height of around five feet, and the wider range of view, hadn’t been as difficult either. 

_Dare I say it was natural?_ She snickered an odd guttural noise in her amusement, and true to his nature he heard it and perked up from where his front half had chewed into the carcass below him.

With a blink, he was by her side. ‘ _You are aware!_ ’ He had been grown increasingly more excited with each emergence from the instinctual state she hid herself in. She had grown at least foot in their time together and now came up to his shoulders when he sat.

_I grew!_ Her grin settled something in him and he rested his chin on her head. ‘ _I a-_ ’ Her laugh cut off to a groan. She always forgot how painful it was to use magic in the slightest. After a brief moment to allow the pain to subside enough, she nodded.

‘ _An Elder of the Wolves has informed me no more of the runes can be removed without weakening the integrity of you well._ ’ his voice was serious but still held the quiet joy it usually did. She only shook her head in response and looked back to his kill on the grounds below.

The dead spirit began to decay, quickly crumbling into the same black sand under their feet. She wondered again, not for the first time, why it tasted so good to eat them. 

‘ _Are you alright?_ ’ He questioned. She nodded and turned to face him. Timidly she reached out her muzzle and licked him under his chin, once, in gratitude for his concern and assurance that she was indeed alright. His ear flicked and he continued, ‘ _The prey is growing thin here. We should move on._ ’ She only nodded and he began walking forward. The Fade supplying black rock for them to step on. 

The road was different, but the path was the same. Eat, sleep, hunt, repeat. Mundane when thought about, harsh and trying in reality. Her first week as a wolf had resulted in empty bellies. The Wolf had only given her one demonstration, then the two went hungry until she became more proficient in hunting. Every once in awhile, he would give her guidance. Small things, some unpleasant. 

Things like: ‘ _Patience, and eat sand to keep your stomach from growling._ ’ She had avoided the second tactic for as long as possible. It required her to regurgitate it all before she could eat. And, if she ate too much it would weigh her down. The Wolf would always watch her intently when she did regurgitate. It was disturbing to think back on when she was herself.

_Awareness._ It was a like night and day. In between her oases of sanity was simplicity. She had cried the first time she had awoken, as she had to deal with the memory of killing Despair. It had been bitter tasting, and the memory of its screeches as she pulled out whatever it had for innards was particularly hard to stomach. Grasping claws, gnashing giant teeth were perilous for a short time after the creature was technically dead, like a snakes head. 

Her emotions were intense during those times as well. From one end of the spectrum to the other. It reminded her of when she was trapped on Varric’s bed with the mages examining her, only no in-between. And, she only experienced them one at a time.

Over the five moments she had returned to sentience, she had come to grips with her situation. She had literally fallen into true reality, and her dream had been real. The few recollections of her past life were fuzzy and painful to recall. She was aware of how unaware she was of the significance of ridding herself of their burden. And, lastly, she was tired of being upset about it all.

Her introduction into Thedas had only been pleasant when Solas had been around her. Her introduction to the physical Fade had only been somewhat pleasant when Solas had been with her. Therefore, with those two highly circumstantial pieces of evidence, she deduced life would only be good in Solas’ presence. She needed to find a way to get back to Solas. 

The Wolf had yet to hear these revelations- as any attempt on her part to communicate with anything other than wolf noises, which she was rather good at, always ended in a bloody nose and a sharp stab of pain behind her eyes

She had attempted to shift out of her wolf form, twice. Though, each attempt had been in a fit of fear or anger in her sober moments, and ended in The Wolf quietly scolding her for being brash. Said lectures were always given as he was comforting her in her pain.

So, in the meantime, she learned about The Wolf and being a wolf. She had thus far enjoyed it. Coming to terms with her animalistic side had been easy and, if she was honest with herself, a relief. She thought back to the few confrontations they had had with other Walkers, or particularly aggressive Spirits. The Wolf had ripped them all apart mercilessly. Though the Walkers were met with a special kind of death that the hapless Spirits never seemed to garner. The one time she had attempted to do anything other than intimidate them, landed her against a black wall and out of breath. That one had been a _very_ rude awakening. 

Her mind drifted to back to her current dilemma. She was trying to return to Solas. It had been her goal since The Wolf had elaborated on his plans and what he meant when he told her to help him. Her surprise at his past had been fleeting. Quickly replaced by a desire to help him fulfill his ambition to bring down the Veil. She would be able to assist him and in so doing repay at least a part of the debt she owed him. Thoughts of her introductory days in Thedas always brought a sad warmth inside of her. She wondered briefly if he thought of her. If he missed her.

‘ _He most likely is too busy to be worried, and he knows you are with me._ ’ Came the terse voice of her companion. She only gave his profile a dirty look and lapsed back into thought. Once she returned to the Waking world she would have to find the Inquisition. _If_ he had remained with them after Haven had been covered in the avalanche. It was a good place to start.

She could search the area of Haven for foot prints or signs of people. _You’re gonna have to figure out if the signs are new or old…_ The Wolf had taught her a lot about hunting in their short time together, but she knew she still didn’t have enough skill to tell for sure. If there had been storms she might be out of luck in the visible trail aspect. _Smell him out._

The thought of running into Solas with her nose after following the unforgettable scents of ruins and deep forests, made her chuckle. Her body reacted on its own, and when she inhaled The Wolf’s deep water scent filled her lungs and she opened her eyes.

The two had stopped while she had been thinking. He was staring down at her, quietly. The tension was building. ‘ _You have much to learn before you can help him._ ’ His voice held an annoyed tone in it. Amber felt an unexplainable blush beneath her soft wispy but thick black fur. She couldn’t understand why what he said made her feel embarrassed, but it did.

The Wolf huffed and moved onward. She let her excitement quiet, unsure how he always knew when her mind was on Solas. The Wolf’s accuracy at gauging her thoughts bordered on mind reading. Though she was certain he couldn’t read her mind. His inability to predict her actions as she was learning to hunt left him skidding off the edge of an island more than once. He would never acknowledge those incidents, and would silence her if she pushed the issue too much. So, she was sure he couldn’t read her mind.

She padded forward to pleasant thoughts as they continued down the path.

*************************************************************************

They traveled on a few ‘days’ more; time was different here. Days lasted as long as they were awake, and ended when they fell asleep. Eating their fill every once in awhile, allowed them to travel quickly and cover great distances with fewer stops. The Wolf would test her, periodically, by disappearing and making her find him using her ever improving senses. She hated these tests, but as time went on she became more proficient at tracking him down. That he was more and more pleased every time she did find him, was an ever growing source of encouragement.

While she was analyzing the slow training she was receiving, The Wolf pulled up short staring over a cliff at a tear in the sky. Amber stopped along side him and nudge him questioningly with her head, A slight motion down to the blue and yellowish blob she spotted on an island a short distance below them. Odd screeches and blurbs emitted from the odd floating green and yellow jello at irregular intervals.

‘ _It is a rift. We should steer clear of it._ ’ The two wolves stared for a few minutes before turning to leave. Reds and blacks faded in and out over the constant blues and yellows. They quickly changed their course on an upward path that lead to a string of islands that vaguely reminded her of a constellation she couldn’t quite recall.

“ _Hail, Wolf!_ ” A soft voice called to their left. Both Wolves froze and turned toward the speaker. Amber’s eyes caught the bright green figure standing an island away. She narrowed her eyes and tried to discern who or what the speaker was. It wasn’t a Walker, so that meant it was a spirit.

Amber hadn’t yet seen a Spirit or demon in a shade of green. Purple, blue, white, yellow, etc. just no green ones. She looked up to The Wolf and found him scrutinizing the creature as well.

" _Come, introduce me to your traveling companion. Pride, has spoken of her, and I wish to meet, she who has kept the Dread wolf on his path._ ” The small hand of the Spirit beckoned the predators forward. Amber was taken aback by her actions.

Most Spirits fled if they even only caught a glimpse of the two Walkers. That one would invite them closer was setting off warning bells in her mind and setting her fur on end. So much so, that when he started forward she grabbed onto his front leg with her teeth.

At her insistence, he looked down at her with a quizzical tilt to his head and she shot her eyes back to the green being in answer. “ _Do not worry, Little Wolf. The Spirit cannot harm you._ ” She released him with a huff when the amused chortle left him. 

_Fine then!_ She watched as he moved forward confidently. The Spirit remaining perfectly still as the two predators approached. Amber, grumbled to herself until she came within striking distance of it. The air was full of the faint scent of ruins and forests. _Solas!_ Her heart beat faster and her pace quickened as her eyes scanned the area for her frined.

“ _He has already gone, Liittle One._ ” The Spirit sounded pleased about something. Amber narrowed her eyes at the Spirit. Her bright green face turned up toward The Wolf and she addressed him, “ _It has been a long time Wolf. The Spirits of the Fade had thought to be safe from your appetite for a while longer._ ” Her voice held a fond and teasing tone to it. “ _Yet, it seems as though it may have come back two fold._ ” Amber stilled when the Spirit turned its gaze on her. 

‘ _Bloody Twilight is strong, and growing stronger, Wisdom. These parts of the Fade no longer contain a population healthy enough for us to cull. I am moving our pack on._ ’ Wisdom’s eyes never left Amber as he spoke. Her pleasant resting face twisted into a frown at the mention of the new name.

“ _You would retain a moniker meant for war?_ ”

‘ _The Elf insisted on her having a name connecting her to Thedas while they were removing a good portion of the binding runes. I promised to not refer to her as the old pack’s traditional ‘Sister’._ ’ That tidbit of information caught Amber off guard and she stared up at him in confusion.

Wisdom smiled sadly at that. “I suspect he did. Her arrival has undone any progress I made in dissuading him from his current course.” A shiver of fear and guilt traveled up Amber’s back when she heard the words. “ _Do not fear, Little One. Pride, has been on this path for longer than he has known you. His determination to restore the past will not end with a few suggestions from a wise old Spirit._ ”

Amber contemplated the Spirit’s words after she calmed from her initial reaction. The Wolf was helping Solas with his aims. He had talked her into getting ready to help him as well, though in what capacity she might be of assistance was still unclear. He spoke to the Spirit as if she knew Solas well.

Amber studied the Spirit, many questions came to her mind. She regretted not being able to ask any of them. The conversation had dwindled and the two just watched each other in a comfortable silence. Wisdom’s eyes suddenly moved to her, and Amber got the distinct sense they had somehow been conversing about her. 

" _You have questions, Young One?_ ” Amber stared at her a moment then nodded slowly. “ _The runes that bind your well are powerful and protective. A few hold double meanings and guard your thoughts. Though, when you first arrived your excitement increased their intensity and I was able to glimpse them. If you focus intently on the question perhaps I will hear it. If I have a suitable answer, I will give it._ ” The new Wolf would not miss this opportunity at answers.

Amber’s mind settled a little as she watched the Spirit and contemplated her question. She decided to ask an obvious one. _Is Solas alright?_ She thought the question repeatedly. Enunciating it clearly in her head. A dull ache began to build up in the back of her head this time.

Wisdom watched her patiently for a long while before she canted her head curiously. “ _If I am correct: He is doing well. His plans in the face of the Breach are moving forward steadily._ ” A small smile played at her green lips.

Again, Amber took her time and phrased her question carefully as she could, _Can I help him?_ Again, the Spirit listened carefully. This time her brow furrowed at the question. 

“ _You have already helped him in his mind. Whether either of you realize it or not, your presence in his life has been profound. From what I have gathered on this side of the Veil, the young elf that possesses his power had an effect on him during the first days after the tear. When you arrived, any sway she might have had over him diminished greatly. His mind is no longer wavering, regardless of his affinity for her._ ” The Spirit stepped closer to Amber who backed up instinctively. 

" _Be careful, young Amber. Your desire to be at his side will blind you to his faults. I cannot promise he will notice you anymore than he already has._ ” Wisdom’s face shifted into something like compassion, but not quite. Her entire visage flashed white before settling into a softer green than before. “ _If you truly want to help him. Stand beside him and remain loyal, regardless of your place in his life. Your presence there, has assuaged his biggest fear, remember that._ ” The Spirit ended her advice with a fond smile. 

The Wolf glared down at Wisdom while Amber committed her words to memory as best she could. In the few short seconds that followed a hope and lightness she hadn’t felt in a long time calmed her. For just brief moment she was at peace. But, it was shattered when a bright circle of runes lit up around the three of them. 

In an instant, The Wolf was a few feet away outside of the ever-brightening circle. Amber’s sluggish response left her trapped inside it when the light walls rose up around the two of them. She called out for him, only to find his reddened gaze watching her, his concern and anger with himself written all over his tensed stance. He lunged forward, teeth bared, to pull her from danger. Only to pass through the circle as if it wasn’t there.

Fear engulfed her when she realized he could not help, and she whipped her head around growling at the nothing that had a hold of her. She only realized she wasn’t alone because a soft hand set to scratching the nape of her neck in a soothing manner. “ _It is only a summoning. I have been through several dozen, Young One. Someone seeks Wisdom._ ”

Amber, though marginally calmed by the fact she wasn’t alone, remained tensed and growling. As the warm spell engulfed them She cast her eyes back to her traveling companion. His Blood red gaze and angry snarls at her captivity culminated in his head being thrown back in a frustrated howl.

The howl followed them through the Veil and reverberated into the blue sky above them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so late because I was sent to help in South Texas. Not fishing, just giving you the reason this chapter's so late.
> 
> Question, concerns, comments, and critiques: welcome, appreciated, and encouraged!
> 
> Immerghensi for National Beta Reader 2020!


	34. Chapter 34

The sense of falling ended with a face plant. _Err-Neck plant._ Amber blinked the bright light from her four eyes as she tried to right herself, breathing heavily through a throbbing larynx. The sounds of surprise and fear colored her audio world. She shook her head and tried to take in her surroundings like she’d been taught. 

When her vision cleared she saw various people dressed in dresses like she’d seen on the mages in Haven. Elves and humans, about ten and with more behind her. Some held staves or half staves with splintered ends. They all seemed to be recovering from being blown back. She stood as quickly as she could and took a defensive position The Wolf had shown her. Baring her teeth and growling at the closest one. A gentle hand rested on her back and she only backed up into the Spirit’s legs, defending the two of them the best she could.

“What’s that!?” Someone called from behind them. Amber turned at the noise and snarled at the speaker, repositioning herself between her and the Spirit.

“The Dread Wolf!” Cried a woman to their right. Amber swiveled toward her and lunged slightly trying to widen the circle around them. The elf fell back in shock.

“ _Calm, young one._ ” The spirit soothed as she ran her hand over Amber’s black coat. The Wolf only marginally relaxed.

“Spirit, we need help.” The man’s tone was authoritative, knowing, and pleased. Both Amber and Wisdom turned to their left. They found a mage with black hair and a bristled mustache walking towards them, pressing a small book back into a pouch on his belt. He wound a leather string around the fingers of his left hand as he moved. A bright green glowing pendant caught Amber’s eyes briefly, as her mind slowly translated the language she hadn’t heard in a long while. 

The man wore expensive grey robes accented with forest green shoulders and darts running up where his legs should be. “And, it seems we have called the right Spirit.” A hint of jest as he looked at Amber, who lowered her head more and growled, bracing to leap.

The mage noticed and stopped where he was, eyeing her more cautiously. The mages all tightened their offensive stances slightly closing the apparent circle. Amber grew more confident as fear permeated the air around them. Without turning, she did her best to locate the source, only for her eyes to rest on the elves who had moved from behind them. The one who had named her the Dread Wolf visibly shook, and the other two were pale with disbelieving looks on their faces. 

“What might a Spirit of Wisdom assist you with?” Wisdom pulled her soothing hand from Amber, straightened, and clasped her hands in front of her. Amber flicked her ear back to her source of information on Solas. Her voice was strained, as if she was pained or exerting a great effort. 

“We are in need of a protector.” His eyes moved to The Wolf below her. “We had expected a strong Spirit with that spell, but we did not expect to pull a Dalish fairy tale from the Fade.”

“I am ill-suited for such an endeavor, young man. As is this one.” Amber felt the small hand caress her back briefly.

“Then any advice would be welcome.” His smile was kind, too kind, and well practiced. His arms splayed in a submissive way. “But first, an introduction?”

“I’m called Fabian. Once a foremost expert in Demons and Spirits in the Kirkwall circle. Now a foremost expert in the world at large.” He chuckled at some joke and gave a very haughty bow. He then swept his arm out towards those around them. “And, these are some of my traveling companions.” The elves didn’t move from their spot but a few others came out from behind Amber and Wisdom to get a better look.

“It is a pleasure to meet you all.” Wisdom nodded to some of the bolder mages moving forward. Amber noticed a whiff on the air. A demon of Annoyance was near. Her eyes scanned the group as the Spirit and man spoke.

“Come!” Fabian clapped his hands in delight. “Our camp is just this way, you can answer questions we have and give us that advice you promised. And your furry friend there can eat, if the Spirit dog is hungry?” The mages began moving at that toward a large formation of rocks. A few, including the summoner, Fabian, waited on the two they had pulled from the Fade. 

“Thankfully, this Wolf is not hungry.” Wisdom replied politely. “As for the advice, the Inquisition has been making a stir, even in the Fade. Perhaps you and your friends might find refuge there?”

“No!” Was the cry, from more than a few lips.

Fabian superciliously motioned for those around them to calm. “No, we know they are an arm for the Chantry. The Templars are their champions. We are better left to ourselves.”

“Then I would suggest, making your way to a place in the north. The place now called the Dales is no longer safe.”

“We are well aware it’s not very safe here. We’ve no more lyrium potions either. We used the last to summon you.” 

Wisdom didn’t answer right away, and Amber stared at the spokesman for the duration of the silence. She watched him closely, he was picking at his fingers absentmindedly as he watched Wisdom. His eyes glancing toward Amber curiously ever few moments. 

Amber stilled when one of the Mages who had stayed behind with Fabian stepped forward. Her pale skin bright in the afternoon sun. The way the woman’s pale, pustule yellow eyes lingered on her set her hairs on end and she began her low growl again.

The woman seemed to hear her and smirked, her eyes flashing intensely just as she placed her hand on Fabian’s shoulder. “Fabian, my love?” As she circled around him to place herself in-between the two parties, her hand moved seductively up his shoulder and neck to cup his cheek. A flash of irritation crossed his face, but he gave her his full attention. Amber narrowed her eyes and took a deep whiff of the air.

_Annoyance!_

“I am hungry, Love. Get me something to eat.” Her voice held an off note that, coupled with the arrogant and expecting tone, set the mage’s teeth on edge.

“I am in the middle of dealing with a powerful Spirit, Lyna!” His voice flared, and he caught himself taking a deep breath. “You always pick terrible times to ask for my attention, why?” His attention fully on the woman, Amber prepared to jump on the demon in flesh.

Wisdom’s hand gripped the nape of her neck as she tensed, “ _No, Little One!_ ” Her voice was soft but urgent. “ _She is very powerful. Leave it. They will have to return us soon._ ”

Amber stilled, but didn’t relax. This situation was getting more and more dangerous. She was beginning to think they might never return to the Fade. _On the bright side, I am now free to locate Solas._ The thought had her eyes scanning the horizon for a Breach that wasn’t there. 

“Do not do that!” Fabian’s voice broke sharply through Amber’s divided focus. He was gripping the woman’s wrist roughly pushing it away from his pelvis area. “I swear Lyna! Leave me alone, or I wi-“

“He’s here, Fabian!” The six mages who had stayed behind startled a moment at the announcement from the blonde messenger. She answered calls of disbelief with assurances it was true and turned to quickly head back in the direction she had emerged from. 

Fabian’s face went from confused to understanding in seconds, while the woman’s turned from surprise to anger. She took off immediately toward their encampment. 

The other mages took off after her, rushing forward over and around the rocks ahead of them. When Fabian took off he got only so far when Wisdom let out a surprised cry and jerked forward, tripping over Amber.

“Hurry Spirit, a friend of yours is here!” Excitement covered his tone and he took off once again after impatiently watching her get back to her feet. She took off at an awkward pace, as if she was unused to doing anything other than standing. 

Amber watched stupidly as Wisdom was jerked forward again and she fell almost face first. Wisdom hissed and looked at her palms when she shifted to her rear. The mage had clearly decided not to wait for her as she began dragging awkwardly along the ground. Amber finally registered how she could help and ran for her.

The Spirit grabbed her for support and used her as a crutch to climb back to her feet while moving forward. Amber yelped as pain sliced deeply across her being, and became disoriented for a moment when the pain began to fade. The ground was lower than she remembered, but Wisdom had a better angle with which to brace herself as they moved along.

They reached the top of the outcropping above the encampment, a good one hundred yards away from where they began. It was tucked inside another set of rocks that shielded them from the open river. When Amber looked down on the mages, those who were looking at them stilled and paled. A few brave souls called to their companions.

There was a large group in the center of camp that spread out when they became aware of the two denizens of the Fade. Two figures stepped forward. One was Fabian, the other was a hooded figure whose eyes glowed a dark blue when he locked his eyes on Wisdom. Amber instinctively inhaled.

_Mmmmm!_ Her eyes rolled back as a cacophony of scents entered her lungs. . A mix of mortal emotions and the delicious scents of over a dozen Spirits. The mages who were not possessed were in the minority. It seemed Fabian had brought all of them to the summoning. The figure with blue eyes had a distinct scent, a familiar one…

It was a savory scent and held a tart sweetness that reminded her of something she had eaten… _before?_ She tilted her head curiously when her eyes rested back on the figure below. He was speaking, but she was too focused on what it was he smelled like. She stumbled slightly when the sharp spike of pain heralded another recovered memory. _Bar-B-Queued Brisket!_

Saliva began to pool in her mouth as her gaze once again locked on him. She smiled to herself, tongue lax as she began to assess how to take down the morsel. Her heart began to race, eager for the chase. It was half way through the process of putting her plan into action, that Wisdom’s voice softly broke through her concentration.

“ _You must control yourself. Look! Do you not see? We are out matched! You must calm down!_ ” Amber’s eyes unfocused and she began to take in the other mages that had all gathered behind the two figures. There were twenty or so of them.

An amused chuckle cut through the silence. The figure who smelled like brisket, pushed back his hood to reveal a heavily scarred face and a head of hastily sheared blonde hair. His red robes peeking out from underneath his black cloak as he stepped forward. Fabian stumbled after him and called out to Wisdom. “Come Spirit! Meet Anders, friend of Justice and Mages alike! Future king of the mage nation!” Amber narrowed her eyes at the man. He strode half way between the groups only allowing the summoner to accompany him. “Master Anders, I summoned this Spirit to accompany us north as protection. As you can see by her companion.” He motioned to Amber. “We will be in good company.”

“Companion?” His blue eyes swept over her twice with no recognition. “Has she conjured an illusion to protect herself outside the Fade?” his voice jovial in his jest. Fabian’s eyes cut to Amber and then back to Anders as he stammered into silence.

Wisdom stiffened and stood taller at the accusation. The Wolf turned her head slightly toward the Spirit next to her, and chanced a glance. Her now sickly green face was stoic, but when her hand reached out to brush Amber’s fur, the Wolf could feel a slight trembling. She cast her four eyes back to the mages, to find the ones with the pus colored lights for eyes grinning malevolently, and staring at her companion. This happened in the few seconds the delegation of two moved forward to immediately address them. Amber picked out a short stick hanging on his belt as he moved.

The blonde cautiously bowed and addressed them, “You are a Spirit of Wisdom, aren’t you?” 

“I am, you are…” She paused her eyes searched him for a moment. “Retribution?” The trembling in the Spirit’s hand stilled as she began addressing the man. Amber looked at him more closely and tried to focus on what he looked like and not how good he smelled. His shoulders had tensed at Wisdom’s guess, a scowl replacing the charming smile.

“Justice.” He corrected through clenched teeth, turning his face away. The sinking sun glinted of a gold band in his ear. The mages behind him stirred.

Wisdom sighed heavily after a moment of contemplation, though in fatigue or frustration Amber couldn’t tell. Her green visage had flashed with brown and pink. “Da’len, Justice changed long ago. Your actions in Kirkwall solidified his nature into Vengeance. You know the War has been a terrible price to pay.” Her voice was soft and almost chiding. “Your encounter with the Templar’s daughter on the roads out of the Free Marches changed him to Retribution.” She looked on the angry man with pity. 

The mages began whispering to each other as she continued. “Step away from this, Anders. as you should have when your new machinations were thrown into chaos. Your time ended when the Conclave exploded. The fight is no longer yours.” Anders stepped forward and was suddenly in front of Wisdom, a blue haze was catching up with his figure. His cloak was thrown back, hands grasping her by the front of what was supposed to be her shirt.

Amber bared her teeth in surprise and anger as he jerked the Spirit and put his face in hers. His voice was warped and bitter, “What do you know of my pain, Wisdom?” His face had long bright cracks of blue shining throughout it. The blue orbs in place of his eyes cast her sickly pallor a shade closer to ghostly.

“Hawke was in love with Merrill, Anders. You stuck around, heartbroken, for what you perceived was your duty. You fled when Hawke told you to run. You have been running ever since.” Wisdom looked pained as she relayed the abrupt truth to the man; but Amber didn’t notice, she was building a slow protective growl, her eyes fixed on the hands clenching her key to find Solas. “You fled the outskirts of Haven at the suggestion of the Elvhen apostate who would offer aid the Inquisition with his knowledge of the Fade and healing.” Amber looked up at Wisdom, her vague reference to Solas a surprise.

“I. Am. _Not._ Running.” He enunciated every word, white flecks of spittle flying in the Spirit’s face, as if he had been accused of the same thing many times before. He took a deep breath, “I am helping the mages left after Fiona’s mistakes! Leading them to build their own place! Their own _home_.” Wisdom winced in pain at his grip and his eyes stopped glowing. He roughly pushed the Spirit back. He shook his head in frustration and his eyes widened when they caught on Amber. 

“What are you?! Where did you come from?” His voice had lost its warped quality, and his blue flecked brown eyes flickered back to Wisdom questioningly. He pulled the short staff from his belt. It twirled deftly in his hands, the blade on the end flashing in the waning light.

Amber stepped carefully in-between Wisdom and the mage. Her growl becoming vicious as he became more frightened.

“It’s the Dread Wolf, Lord Anders!” The elf from before screamed in warning.

Ander’s brow furrowed for only a moment before recognition of the name and his experience kicked in. He began backing away in earnest. “Fairy tales seem to come to life more often than they should.” He muttered under his breath.

“ _Stop, Bloody Twilight!_ ” Wisdom’s caution failed to penetrate her fight response.

“We cannot let her harm him!” A female voice rang out.

“Wait! Please!” Wisdom pleaded in English just before Amber sprung at the mage with a snarl. 

The fight was long, only because the mages feared her size and visage. Her stalking of harmless Demons and Spirits had only marginally prepared her for fighting mages. Wisdom tried to quell the fears of the mages only to find herself trapped in a force field frozen.

When Amber noticed, she redoubled her angered efforts to free the Spirit. Blood flowed freely from gashes made by staff blades. She was burned with ice hanging from her singed ghost like black coat. She had tasted mortal blood for the first time and it only fueled her instant desire for more.

The paralysis glyphs finally held her still, ending the fight. Her count left a dozen mages, including the three elves that seemed to fear her. They remained huddled near the rocks staring at her great form, as she lay defeated on the ground.

Her eyes followed the hurried movement as the mages tended their wounded and moved to restrain her with chains that burned the skin underneath her fur. Anders stepped into her half-lidded vision holding a staff he had picked up from the ground after she had bitten his old one in two. His breaths were labored until someone brought him a glowing red vile. He knocked it back, and after a few moments stood tall.

He conversed with the man who had summoned her and Wisdom from the Fade, then the two walked from her vision. Her conscious faded in and out. She only touched the Fade once before they woke her dragging her to a different location. It was brief, only long enough to know The Wolf was no longer in the area. Her heart clenched when she realized he had left her.

She had been moved each time she had gone unconscious. Wisdom’s voice became more strained each time she heard it. The Spirit begged them to send her back to the Fade and to release Amber. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought she heard scoffing and laughter at that. 

Her conscious came back fully at night when half a dozen mages were eating silently around the fire. The muted smell of stew wafted in her direction and her stomach grumbled. The mages all startled when she shifted and stood pulling their staves to themselves.

“Weird dog.” The closest mage muttered under her breath to the others. They all chuckled, and one pointed out how old the joke was getting before the others quieted down.

Amber searched the area with her eyes, looking for Wisdom. The only whiff she got was when the flap largest tent in her viewing area opened and fell closed. Wisdom’s scent of green pines stirred Amber enough to adjust her legs underneath her.

“Get Fabian! No, Anders!” One of the elves at the fire yelled out. 

A few minutes later, said mages emerged. The two stepped into her vision. “Shh-sh-sh-sh.” Anders soothed and reached down to scratch her behind the ear. “Justice, has informed me about you, Little Wolf.” A smile was in his voice. He pulled out his dagger as he spoke, and cut a chunk of her fur off, sticking it in a pouch on his belt.

“Master Anders, are you sure it is wise to allow her to stand?” Fabian’s skepticism was thick.

“It will be fine; Justice has encountered her kind in the Fade before.” He closed his eyes briefly, and Amber felt one of the glyphs dissipate. She instinctively tried to shift but was only able to move her left leg to where it was perched uncomfortably under her torso, ready to push her into action. “Easy, boy-err girl.” He scratched deeper into her fur as another glyph disappeared. Amber’s heart rate began to pick up as the mage tried to sooth her with each of the glyphs her removed. Trying to ease her into freedom of movement without losing control. 

And, with each released glyph, Fabian became more and more nervous. Anders told her of his plans to gather the remaining mages and have them move to Seheron. There they would overtake the Island and cast all those with no magic out.

Amber barely listened to his words. When she was able to lie in a comfortable position she fixed her eyes on the one who had summoned them form the Fade. He visible gulped at this and pulled the glowing green, pendant from underneath his shirt.

Her eyes focused in on it, and when Anders released the last glyph she lunged at the mage. He yelped in surprise as she leaped past Anders and pushed him to the ground taking his hand into her mouth and biting down hard. Bones crunched, then in a delayed reaction the mage cried out.

She dragged her teeth through his flesh wrapping her tongue around the tie used to hold the pendant. When his hand fell from her mouth she stood and turned looking for Wisdom. She began walking around sniffing the ground searching. Those mages around watched her warily as she moved about.

After moments of observing her Anders stated warily, “You seek your friend?” Amber swung her massive head toward him and stared, waiting. He motioned toward one of the larger tents, “She is in the tent.” She only glanced back at him once before making her way toward the indicated tent. 

The cry of the mage had woken the few of their companions that had managed to fall asleep and they were poking their heads out of their nooks and crannies watching the scene with a tired horror. “If you want your friend to go home I can send her back.” Anders told her back. “I would ask a favor in return.”

Amber didn’t even glance back before she stuck her head into the tent. Wisdom stood upright, her complexion a slightly greenish white. Amber threw the glowing pendant to the Spirit’s feet. She stooped down weakly and took the pendant into her pale green hand. She looked up to the young Wolf in gratitude and then squeezed the pendant in her hand. Amber felt relief as a bright light shown from between her muted fingers, and Wisdom began to fade away.

Just before she disappeared, a bright blue haze jumped between them and suddenly Anders was there grasping onto Wisdom’s wrist as the pendant disintegrated. Wisdom let out a cry of pain that Amber felt certain was on both sides of the Veil. She let out an angry snarl and jumped. Her effort gained her a violent push to the ground by an unseen force.

“You must stay with me Wisdom.” The warped voice of Retribution stated. The Spirit’s response was drowned out by a large group of people crowding around her and casting spells to keep her in place. One of the females from the summoning pulled her head off the ground and forced a minty tasting liquid down her throat.

It burned going down, like a bad liquor, and settled heavily in her stomach. Her body was then dragged along the ground roughly to a set of rocks where a group of mages were hammering something into the stone.

“Never thought I’d be thankful we pilfered these lyrium chains.” A nasally voice commented.

“We’d have come up with something else. Aren’t we supposed to be the good guys?”

“We are, that’s the sad part. The rest of the world is mad with power.” 

“Think the Court will pardon us if we turn this thing over?”

“We will not be turning anything over.” Fabian answered in a perturbed and put out tone. He stepped into Ambers field of view flexing his recently recovered hand, grimacing. “Did you talk to Anders crew about the lyrium potions we need? They are leaving shortly after he gets one more answer he needs from the Spirit.”

“I was told they don’t have any to spare.” The one with better questionable morals stated.

“Maker’s balls!” The man cursed.

“What do we do with this one? I don’t think it’s a good idea to try and use it as protection on the road north.” Worry and fear filled the air around Amber.

“We will have to employ the Spirit.” Silence fell as the group looked at each other. “It’s all we can do really.” The mage let a heavy sigh go after that statement. His eyes shifted to Amber and narrowed when they locked eyes. “Knock it out.” He waved his hand at her and turned to leave. Amber had to be hit in the head five times before everything went black.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Inquisitor and her small party raced across the Dales. She had promised Solas she would do what she could to help him find his friend. They had traded horses in the Emprise du Lion, and the Emerald Graves to keep from having to rest. They were running on a day and a half with no sleep. She was the only one of the six of them who was showing the effects of the hard ride.

“We can stop Inquisitor.” Solas tersely offered again, to which she glared. He just turned back to the road and his horse pulled ahead, her horse followed his on instinct and they turned down the left fork instead of the right fork she had been planning on making. She blushed at the mistake she might have made and fixed her eyes on the apostate’s back letting him take the lead. 

Dorian, Cassandra, Cole, and The Iron Bull rode in silence behind the two elves. She could tell they had their own unvoiced questions as they watched Solas’ back, Which kept moving further and further away as he kept increasing their traveling pace. The horses would likely die if they didn’t let up soon. 

Luckily, the sun broke out over the plain around them. Sulah hoped that they would rest a moment at the base camp that was set in the rock formation ahead of them. She knew they at least needed to refresh their water supplies.

Solas was first to dismount and rush up to the requisitions table. The areal map was splayed out and the now disgruntled requisitions officer was staring at the elf who had pushed her out of his way. The Inquisitor and her other companions dismounted quickly. Cassandra and The Iron Bull rushed over toward the small paddock of animals. There were only four horses.

“Inquisitor.” Solas’ too calm voice broke her from her tired staring. She looked over to find him motioning for her to move closer. She did so still breathing heavy with exhaustion. 

“Do you know where we are going?” Her eyes scanned the parchment before them. He pointed to the eastern bank of the river on the southwest side of the map.

“Here. We must hurry.” He stood and moved quickly to help the other two saddle the horses.

“Inquisitor.” She turned to find Dorian standing next her, his eyes on Solas. “There are only four horses. Two of us are going to have to stay behind.” She glanced up to find him watching the elf mount as soon as his saddle was strapped on.

“Would you mind, Dorian?”

He grinned, relieved. “I will follow you as best I can when my horse is travel ready. Or, you return.” 

“Thank you, Dorian.”

‘And what of Cole?”

“Cole will do what Cole does best. Help.” She showed him the area Solas had indicated on the map and gave him instructions to bring a few scouts when or if he was going to move. Dorian had to ask her to repeat her instruction twice before she was able to word it intelligibly. Solas called for her when her horse was saddled and the others mounted, ready to leave. “How much longer?” she murmured to herself, fatigue trying to overcome her mind.

The trip across the plains went slowly. Solas was becoming more and more impatient. Then they came across the bodies of the mages. Arrows were sticking from them.

“One of the mages.” Reached her ears before he was moving on again. A little way forward, they came across another set of bodies. Bandits. “These aren’t mages.” Solas stated. “The bodies are burned. And these claw marks…” His eyes widened. “No. No. NO. NO!”

“What is it Solas?” He said nothing but sped off toward the river. The others followed in haste. A bottle neck of rocks opened to reveal a demon swinging at a group of mages from behind a barrier built on salt pillars.

“My Friend!” 

“What happened!? You said your friend was a Wisdom Spirit!” The Inquisitor balked, astonished.

“That is not its natural form!” Solas was angry. More angry, more anything, than she had ever seen him before. She was quietly elated at this. “It has been corrupted!”

“Corrupted?” She was jolted, fully, out of her admiration.

“Forced to act against its original purpose!” He clenched his forehead, rage sweeping over his visage. She chanced a glance at Cassandra and Bull, who were just as troubled by his reaction. Both had drawn their weapons. “What did they do?! WHAT did THEY do!? WHAT DID THEY DO?!”

A noise drew her attention from him, she turned to find a mage dressed in rather expensive robes walking up to them hurried, but with caution. “Perhaps we should ask..” His eyes fixed on the approaching mage, who when he spotted Solas’ staff, strode forward more quickly with a relieved look on his face.

“A mage!!” He stepped closer until his eyes moved to the warriors behind them. “You’re not with the bandits? Do you have any lyrium potions?! Most of us are exhausted. We’ve been fighting that demon for ages.”

“You summoned that demon!” Solas voice was harsh with accusation and anger. “Except it was a Spirit of Wisdom at the time. You made it kill!” The mage shuffled nervously as the elf spoke. “You twisted it against its purpose!”

“I-I-I understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons.” The Inquisitor narrowed her eyes at the mage. “But after you help us, I can-“

“We are not here to help you.” Solas voice was low and deadly. Everyone present stared at him for a moment. 

Sulah gathered herself and warily cut into the tense silence. “We are here to help everyone, Solas.” He glared at her for a moment, causing her stomach to drop, but then returned his hard gaze to the mage. She gathered herself and continued more confidently, “I doubt this man deliberately unleashed a demon.”

“Of course not!” The mage retorted, insulted. “Do you think me mad?” He turned his own affronted face to Solas.

“I think you stupid.” The mage’s brows rose high at the accusation, startled. “That’s far worse.” Solas then took in a deep breath and released it. “You summoned it to protect you from the bandits.”

“I,” They watched as the mage considered his next words staring awkwardly at Solas. “Yes.” 

“You bound it to obedience, then commanded it to kill. _That_ is when it turned.” He turned his eyes back to the Inquisitor, no longer needing to address the mage. “The summoning circle. We break it. We break the binding. No orders to kill, no conflict with its nature, no demon.”

“What?!” The mage cried incredulous. His tone, as he continued, was condescending. “The binding is the only thing keeping the demon from killing us.” He looked between the two elves after stating this. And finding no comments, “Whatever it was before, it is a monster now!”

“Inquisitor, please.” Solas pleaded. She searched his eyes, uncertain. He had made his decision, what he wanted. For a moment, a terror came over her. _What would he do if I…_ She didn’t let the thought finish, unsure where it came from in the first place, and took a deep breath.

“I’ll do everything I can to save your friend, Solas.” She tried to push her determination at him mentally.

“Thank you.” He was visibly relieved and took off toward the demon without another word. Bull followed after him excitement coming off the Qunari in waves as he readied his Reaver attacks. 

The Inquisitor moved to follow them but was grabbed by the arm. Cassandra readied to strike the man down. “Please wait!” She stared at his hand until he removed it from her arm. “Please listen. When we initially summoned the Spirit, it was not alone.” 

The Inquisitor glanced to where Solas and Bull were waiting impatiently, calling for the women to hurry. Then back to him, “Well go on!”

“There was a giant black wolf with four red eyes summoned as well.” He watched her as the information sunk in. Shock was the first emotion that crossed her mind, followed by irritation. 

“Making fun of my People in the middle of this situation is not the best way to convince me to help you.” She wrenched her arm from his grip and ran to help free the Spirit.

The battle was hard, especially when she wanted to stop shooting benign rocks and attack the _giant demon trying to kill us!_ The first pillars fell quickly as they had been thin to begin with.

“I still think we should just kill the demon!” The Iron bull called out from across the field, where he was trying to get the demons attention. 

Ignoring Bull’s preferred logic, she watched as Solas swept his staff low and coated the ground beneath Pride with ice; able to shoot the stationary salt pillars without looking. The demon slipped on the unexpected surface allowing the group to continue to attack the last pillar.

With his, sometimes unexpected, strength he thrust his staff blade through the last pillar causing it to shatter. He immediately strode forward as the demon began to glow and shrink. Sulahnara quickly caught up with him, but stopped as he approached the small green woman on the ground. A black cloud was rising off it casting the sickly scent of rot into the air.

Her eyes took in the pained look on its face. The bright neon eyes made the rest of her look a dark sickly color, it turned the Inquisitor’s stomach. Then she focused on the words they were speaking.

_Elvhen!_

“ _….helped me. Now you must endure. Guide me into death._ ” She gaged and a black bile spilling from her mouth. Solas’ back stiffened at the sight. He was silent a long time as he watched his friend bend over in pain again. A dark feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.

_Something’s wrong with him!_ her thoughts screamed at her.

His reaction to this situation was wrong. He took a deep breath, “ _As you say._ " His voice was harder than she would have thought he would use in this situation, and she shivered.

He sat his staff on the ground next to him and lifted his hands palm up before it. She glanced at the Spirit’s face to see it gnash its sharp green teeth in anguish. There was no flash or glow he simply waved his hands before her and the Spirit was gone, the outer shell splintered away on the wind first then the glowing core. Nothing remained but the battle disturbed ground.

He stared at the place it had been, and she stared at the back of his head. He took a deep breath and bowed his head. Softly, “ _Safe Journy._ ”

“I heard what sh-it said.” Her voice was more confident than she felt. “It was right. You did help it.” She noticed her hand was fidgeting with her bow and stilled it as he stood and stared across the river.

“And now…” his voice was still off, “I must endure.” Once again, she was struck by how wrong the situation felt. There was an awareness on edges of her mind that screamed at her to figure out what had changed about the man in front of her. 

When he said no more she offered, “Let me know if I can help.” Again, he was silent, with his back to her. She was reaching for his arm when he responded.

“You already have.” He pulled his hands up to the small of his back and turned his head to the left. She followed his gaze to find eight mages looking disheveled, tired and relieved. They had not helped when the four of them had jumped into the fray. The mage who had approached them before the fight, was watching Solas intently. “All that remains now is them.” His voice held no emotion, and sent a chill down her spine. The fear that came off humans when they were being hunted lightly scented the air. 

The mage stepped forward flanked by two others who looked pleased to see them. “Thank you.” His eyes never left Solas as his companion on his left continued when he didn’t.

“We would not have risked a summoning, but the roads are too dangerous to travel unprotected.” She looked to Sulah for sympathy. “We were thankful to get such a powerful set of Spirits. We couldn’t foresee the trouble.” The information from before the fight came back to her. She watched silently as Solas began a slow stalk forward.

“You tortured and killed my friend.” The elf spoke with a too calm voice. She was almost glad she couldn’t see the face that went with the phrase.

At the same time, the mage tried to tell Solas they hadn’t known what they were doing, The Iron Bull spoke quietly into her ear, “That mage of yours is keeping a lot of secrets, Boss.” Her brow furrowed and she turned to look at the Qunari.

“I am aware, Bull.” She turned back to the frightening scene of eight grown mages backing away from a single elf. The wind brought the scent of urine. She felt Cassandra’s presence on her right. The Seeker said nothing, but had her intense gaze locked on their friend. 

Solas spoke again, only loud enough for those mages to hear. But confusion was their only reaction. He gracefully pulled his hands from behind his back and raised them menacingly at the people who had inadvertently killed his friend.

She reacted before she thought, “Solas! Wait!” 

He didn’t.

The three of them watched and felt the fire consume the mages. Solas’ fire whirled around in a fury, engulfing them all. She stared in awe as the flames melted the skin from their bones. Her mind barely registered the gasp from beside her as Cassandra narrowed her gaze at Solas.

They were transfixed as he began to walk forward bearing down on the remains. His magic fire only ended when the last of the bones had burned to ash and floated away on the wind. As she stared at the blackened earth, she realized that she hadn’t even heard her own heart over the roaring of the flames, let alone the agonized screaming of eight people.

Her eyes went to the apostate who stared down at the spot. “Damn them all.” He then turned back to the river, never once looking her way. She stepped forward wanting to speak with him, but Cassandra grasped her arm in alarm. Then remembering he was their ally released it, leaving the warning for caution on her face. “I need some time alone.” His voice was finally showing some emotion again. A hint of the sadness missing from his curt goodbye.

He never turned back to them only strode to his staff and swept it off the ground in a fluid motion. When she moved to go after him The Iron Bull stopped her. “Let him go. We still have company.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how this one went.  
> Did you like this portrayal of Anders? Was it clear?  
> Your thoughts please.
> 
> Also, I used Game dialogue in this chapter for All New, Faded for Her. Was the shift in Solas' physical reactions/body language obvious? Did it change the feel of the scene from in game, and how?
> 
> Questions, Comments, Concerns are always welcome.
> 
> Immerghensi is always awesome.


	35. Chapter 35

The Inquisitor stood at the ready as the three elven mages filed out from behind the outcropping. Their ashen faces went whiter as they laid eyes on The Iron Bull, eight foot of solid muscle, who stood to her left. The woman wore a red robe while the men wore similar shades of brown. The once elegant robes had fringed sleeves and hems as well as dirt here and there, which their human companions’ had not. _No doubt the busiest of the group._ Irritation at the ‘free’ mages adherence to the common practice of having the elves do their work grated on her nerves.

The groups stared at each other for a few moments. The mages with the eyes of the hunted. “You-“ The blonde male’s voice squeaked and he cleared his throat before continuing, “You aren’t going to kill us?” 

Sulah and Cassandra exchanged glances. “Not without reason, no.” The Inquisitor answered, slowly not wanting to spook the city elves. _Even if they’re not of the People, I should not scare them without reason._ She had kept her bow in her hand but had replaced the arrow in her quiver, a convenient deception. Her draw had only grown faster during her time with the Inquisition. 

The Iron Bull stood tall, arms crossed, she could feel the intimidation coming off him in waves. The nervous glances in his direction kept them from noticing the slight movements Cassandra made to ready for any sudden movements on their part. _I almost feel sorry for these inexperienced mages._ Her amusement at their obliviousness in the face of battle was hidden well.

“Are you with the Inquisition?” The black haired female spoke up from behind the blonde, her eyes never leaving the Qunari. Her amusement at the hint of lust in the woman’s eyes lasted only a few seconds before she reacted.

“We are. We came at the behest of our other companion…” The elves carefully stepped forward as she spoke. Her soft voice causing them to involuntarily move into range of the two warriors. Only one seemed to register this, but he said nothing. Sulah went on, “Can you tell us what exactly happened here? Why you called the demon?”

“You are all Harrowed. You are _supposed_ to, at the least, be adept in your chosen Schools. Why would you need such a creature to protect you?” Cassandra added.

The group pulled together, cautious not to do so too quickly, and conferred. It was a short, hissed conversation that resulted in the woman stepping forward. “Maile!” The blonde haired elf warned.

She cleared her throat, “We were running out of lyrium potions. Fabian, being an expert at summoning, suggested we summon assistance from the Fade. Those of us not po-“ She cut off her sentence and side-eyed the Seeker before continuing, clearly censoring her words. “Those of us less susceptible to possession, moved to an area away from our camp to conjure a Spirit for protection.” The dark haired male leaned into her ear and whispered something before she continued. “We need help. We can’t survive out here on our own.” Her desperate grey eyes went back to the Inquisitor. “Promise us protection and we will show you.” 

“Show us what, elf?” Cassandra questioned. 

“When we summoned that demon, it was a Spirit.” Her words were careful.

“We know this.” Sulah let her voice harden as she thought of how upset Solas had become.

“It wasn’t alone when it came from the Fade.” She could feel the Seeker tense. Could sense the immediate shift in Bull’s posture. The three experienced fighters checked for signs of an ambush. 

“Why would you not say something sooner?” The Seeker’s disapproval was evident as she pulled her shield from her back and readied her sword before she finished speaking.

The mages, at her clearly displeased tone and the heightened sense of alarm, tensed and huddled together. “It isn’t loose!” The blonde male cautiously tried to soothe them. “We captured it after it attacked us.”

“Where is it?” The Inquisitor asked barely keeping the agitation from her voice. The words of the mage who had approached them had come back to her.

“Back at our camp!” Malie stated with a little too much eagerness. “ _But_ we want a promise of protection first!” The woman’s timid voice sounded more like a question than a demand.

The Seeker touched Sulah’s arm to get her attention as she spoke, “The Inquisitor would love to have the help of mages, but your companions declined our help. Why would you accept it?” 

“We are not like the…” The blonde male took his eyes from the group searching for a word. His eyes landed on Sulah’s face and widened in recognition. “Shems! We are not like those shems! We would be honored to serve under the Inquisition.” He bowed, the attempt to show respect came off a mockery of those the Inquisitor had seen in her own court at Skyhold. His inept mannerisms made all the more foolish as his body trembled with fear. He knew they were at her mercy

“You would be around Templars. Did you not rebel just to get away from them?”

“Yes, but we have nowhere else to go.” 

“Henry!” The brown haired male jerked on his arm. “No! They’ll just put us back in the Circle. Probably make us Tranquil!” Henry scowled down at his shorter companion.

“What other choice do we have!? It’s better than where we’re at!” He retorted harshly looking over his shoulder glancing to Malie before turning back to the Inquisition.

“We offer a place to stay and for you to help end the chaos. This is the only offer. We can find the demon without your help.” The Seeker stated, her irritation pulling them from their squabble.

“We accept.” Maile answered garnering hard looks from her companions. “This way.” She headed off toward the creek.

Travel to their camp was faster than expected. The Iron Bull helped them get across the deep creek quickly. The mages had taken refuge in a rock formation a short ways away. “We were going to have to move soon anyway.” Henry attempted at levity to remove the tension. “An arrow in the arm is an effective warning tool.”

“You had a run in with Keeper Hawen’s Clan?” The Inquisitor asked.

“More of a ‘stay away from us’.” His voice was dejected. 

“I still do not understand how mages could not effectively defend themselves. It is baffling.” The Seeker commented. 

The brown haired one, Nehnis, answered, “Because we were still used to a steady supply of lyrium until two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks ago!? Surely, lyrium is hard to come by for mages on the roads?” The group stopped at Cassandra’s exclamation. The Inquisitor eyed the back of Henry’s head as The Seeker held tightly to Nehnis’ arm and continued, “Where did you get such a steady supply?”

“We should interrogate them later, Boss.” The Iron Bull suggested. The mages visibly relaxed at his words. Sulah looked back to her friend and shook her head. The warrior, nodded in acknowledgement of her decision to let it drop for the moment.

“It’s right here on the other side of these rocks.” Malie forged ahead of them. The Inquisitor and the Seeker kept up readily and pulled their weapon’s when she called out, “Lyna! We’re back! We’ve brought help!”

They rounded the corner to find a deserted camp. Sulah’s eyes caught on a heaving black figure at the far end of the camp and her heart stopped. Its sprawled shape unmistakably a wolf. The sheer size of it, unreal. The Iron Bull took a moment to survey the empty area as the group moved toward the back. The Seeker gently tugging on her arm as she found moving forward more difficult with the stone forming in her gut.

“The wolf that came across with the Spirit.” Henry stated simply. Sulah could feel his eyes on her. “Malie believes it is the Dread Wolf.” Henry whispered low as her own stomach turned. Sulah glanced at him and they held each other eyes a moment before he thinned his lips and nodded. She didn’t understand what he had taken from her obvious shock. She let her eyes fall back to the animal.

His words repeated over and over again in her mind. His and those of the other mage, Fabian. Her anger welled up from nowhere, “What do flat ears know of the Dread Wolf?!” All of them stilled at her outburst. _These flat-ears mock us just the same as the shems!_ “Fairy Tale ?! He is not someone to be summoned by mere shem mages!” She stormed forward through the disorganized camp with resolve. 

Her bravado faltered at the clearing around the beast. Its massive head had pulled sluggishly from the ground. Four green eyes were staring right at her and her knees felt week. The Iron Bull whistled at her side. “This is the biggest wolf I have ever seen, Boss. Never seen one with more than one eye either.” His voice had an edge to it, he was unnerved. The only reason she knew was because she knew him. 

The thing blinked its four eyes all at once; and if she didn’t know any better she would say they narrowed slightly. Her heart pounded as images of the tales from her youth fluttered through her mind. A terrified elation filled her. _Proof. Proof they were real…_

“The thing has grown at least two feet since we chained it to the wall a few days ago. And its eyes are no longer red.” Malie stepped up not within reach of her dagger. Cassandra stared at the beast with a troubled look on her face. 

“It is not an ordinary wolf.” Cassandra commented with concern lacing her words. “It does not feel like a Spirit.”

“We have been feeding it magebane.” Malie offered. 

“Or more precisely rubbing magebane on its wound while one of us paralyzes its head.” Henry stepped up next to her.

“Magebane!? To a Spirit?” The Seeker’s surprise mirrored Sulah’s own.

“Lord An-,“ Henry made a noise as Malie started to speak, startling the elf. 

He continued for her, “We were ordered to make sure it was heavily dosed while the others took care of the demon. It hasn’t been an easy task, and it has bitten us several times. Its teeth are quite sharp as well.” As the elf went on, The Iron Bull stepped forward to examine it. He crouched down next to the hind leg examining its paws. Sulah listened as she watched him stretch out his arm to touch it. 

The massive jaws moved like lightning. Bull jumped back, as did everyone else, clearly startled. Her heart was racing as the beast curled it’s lips back and snarled, focusing all four blood red eyes on him. Sulah’s legs gave out and she sank to her knees. Her breath caught in her throat as the chained beast recoiled its maw and tucked its massive paws beneath itself.

Her crystal blue eyes roved over the… god. She noticed the large burn wound was slathered in a deep blue paste. Parts were growing a black mold over the blue. The swollen edges had white pustules at various points in varying sizes. Dirt and blood matted in the intact fur around the angry looking wound. Bull pulled himself warily off the ground and backed up to where she and the Seeker where staring at the creature. Its four eyes never leaving the giant.

“Lyna! Lyna, Where are you?” Malie called out. “Where could she be?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she took off.” Henry said nervously, dusting dirt unsuccessfully from his robes. 

“Henry’s right. She was planning on taking off sooner or later. She didn’t like what was going on.”

“Good riddance.” Malie stated and turned back to the Inquisitor, who noticed all three elves had relocated themselves on the outside of the wolf’s clearing. “We are unsure of what to do with it. We are not strong enough to move him by ourselves.” She wrung her hands in front of her as she spoke.

Sulah didn’t pay attention to anything said after that, the beast had locked its eyes with her. There were large chunks missing from the elves story, but that could be addressed later at Skyhold. Her mind raced with other questions. _How did they accomplish this? What does this mean? What will Keeper Deshanna think?_ Her mind raced over the stories she had heard of the god. The descriptions the Lore Keeper had given her and her clan mates. Relief flooded her when she remembered multiple times him speaking about the six-eyed god, _must be an imposter_. Her lips had been moving in unconscious prayers as she contemplated meeting a god. She heaved a noticeable sigh and turned her attention back to those around her. 

The puzzle remained as to how shemlen and flat-ears had managed to conjure a creature who so resembled a Dalish god, and none of the Dalish had been able to do so, ever. Her pride stung at that, but she knew exactly what to do in this situation. Also, how to make sure the Dalish were able to get as much from this situation as possible.

A breeze picked up and the scent hit her. A sickly scent of rotting meat and wet dog mingled in the dank air. Though the sun was high in the cloudless sky the smell brought images of the Fallow Mire to her mind. _I almost prefer the Fallow Mire!_ She heaved but held her stomach contents. A quick look to Cassandra showed she too suffered, but was doing a better job of hiding it. The Warrior had only closed her eyes and swallowed heavily. 

“It’s a regular occurrence?” Bull motioned toward the sky with his head indicating the wind. The answer had been a silent yes, because he continued, “The off and on again breeze in this passage brings that delightful potpourri in every once in a while.” A glance at the Qunari revealed him eyeing the three elves who, amazingly like him, did not seem perturbed by it. 

“The smell isn’t any worse than the dungeons underneath the Gallows just before the Chantry was blown up. Knight Commander Merideth was not someone who believed in wasting man power on things like cleaning the dungeons.” Henry stated in an odd voice. Sulah had found time to read Varric’s the Tale of the Champion. It did not seem like a pleasant time _outside_ of the mages’ prison. She shuddered to think what inside the mages’ prison was like.

“And we got used to it.” Malie added with an irritated look to her companion.

Sulah’s eyes turned back to the wolf lying on its belly watching them with four piercing red eyes. Its alert posture sent a shiver up her spine as it reminded her of the Wolf statues located in the Emerald Graves. The act of making eye contact brought an instinctual fear all Dalish had for the Dread Wolf to the forefront of her mind. 

She turned to find Solas, ask him his opinion on the creature, but then she remembered he was gone. The image of him striding off, away from her, without looking back stuck in her mind. That whole encounter had been strange. _This has changed him._ The realization formed a bigger stone in her gut.

“…Solas spoke about?” Cassandra’s question finally broke through her thoughts.

She turned to look up at her friend and blink. “What?”

Cassandra gave her and irritated look and repeated, “Do you think it is one of those creatures Solas spoke about?”

“That’s some coincidence, Seeker.” Bull’s voice was skeptical as he moved closer. Sulah felt a sliver of fear, then anger.

“It is more likely that, than this Dread Wolf being.” Cassandra defended.

“We don’t know what it is?” The Inquisitor turned back to the heaving wolf. “Bull would you mind going to the Dalish camp and bringing back Keeper Hawen?”

“You sure you want _me_ to go?” 

She turned to him. “Yes, you are the fastest and they know you from when we returned the Sylaise Amulet.” Bull nodded and walked back toward the front of the camp. She turned back to the wolf while her thoughts turned to Solas and her faith in Elgar’nan. Words Cassandra had spoken of the unseen Maker held less weight in the face of an embodiment of her People’s worst enemy. _Solas, come back. Please!_

Cassandra sent the mages to gather their belongings while she set up a fire. The smell was becoming overwhelming, while doing little, the fire would help. When asked by Malie why, they informed her and she offered an enchanted incense. The group visibly relaxed once the noxious smell was diluted.

A short time later, a small group of Inquisition soldiers trotted up, accompanying Dorian. He dismounted and strode forward with a smile for his friend. The soldiers began salvaging whatever they could from the campsite. 

When the Tevinter had reached them, he stilled and took in the wolf. “This is fascinating…” His grey eyes intent on it before they turned on her. “Isn’t this a god from the Elvhen Pantheon?”

“We do not know that!” Cassandra interjected from the barrel she had pulled up to sit on to Sulah’s right.

“…Cassandra’s right. This could be something else. Solas told us of a band of creatures who wandered the Fade.” 

“Ah, I do remember a short conversation where something like that was discussed. Our dear Apostate declined to comment further.” His eyes went back to the creature with a thoughtful look. “Though have you considered that it might be a demon in disguise?” 

“ I have never heard of one taking the visage of the Dread Wolf. Which is why we are waiting on the Keeper. He will know better than I.” She looked behind her and found a barrel matching Cassandra’s, and nodded at her in thanks before sitting down.

“Its eyes are unsettling.” He stepped forward, crossing in front of her, and crouched for a closer look. Said eyes flashing from the dull orange it had faded into, to the blood red of before. The beast let out a low threatening growl that sent another wave of fear through her and watched him warily. She shook it off as Dorian went on, “Oh. And it smells worse when you get closer!” He turned back covering his nose and mouth. He gagged once and took a few moments to compose himself before turning back.

He leaned in range of its jaws as he examined the wound, but it did not move just gave more volume to its threat. “This wound is infected very badly.” 

“Your eyes are as good as ever, Dorian.” Cassandra retorted and shoved another log on the fire to help drown out the smell. 

“Has anyone attempted to heal it?” The question was directed to the group at large.

Malie who had taken a seat near the fire with her packed bag replied, “None of our good healers survived when she was released from the paralysis glyphs. And it is all we can do to keep her dosed with the magebane. I had to drink an antidote at least twice. The bane got everywhere…”

“The four eyes seem to change colors.” Her second favorite mage went on. “A unique trait. Is there a pattern to the changing of colors?”

Malie’s brow furrowed slightly in confusion before continuing hesitantly, “Whenever we get near it the green turns red and then will fade back into green when it is to exhausted. Which, Thank the Maker, is often; because of the magebane.”

“Perhaps it is only when it is angry?” She mused to herself out loud.

“As if the color is connected to its emotion?” Dorian asked. 

“I only remember hearing the Dread Wolf had red eyes.”

“Assuming this creature is related to your god of…” He trailed off and turned to Sulah gesturing for assistance.

“Trickery and Lies.”

“Are these changing eye colors a trait of this god?” 

“Not really. I was just thinking about why its eyes are that ugly brownish color.” She turned to look at the front of the camp and to check for Bull and the Keeper. True to his abilities, Bull was making his way to them through the camp. Sulah stood to meet the Keeper. The mages where going through different sacks and pulling out items they felt they could use.

She watched the Keeper’s face as they came into view, along with a few others of the clan. The First was with him as well as one of the clan elders. The elves all stilled when they laid eyes on the creature she had not quite turned her back on. 

“Mythal save us.” Hawen breathed. He turned to her awed. Taven, his First, and a hunter were gently guiding the elder to his knees. The old elf was gulping air, eyes wide. “He’s real.” 

“Keeper,” she stepped toward him. “I do not think this is the Dread Wolf.” He turned his wearied eyes to her, and she could see the beginnings of fear welling up in them. Those who had accompanied him were also on edge, fidgeting, their feet never settling, and their eyes intent on the beast.

“Da’len, even should this just be one of The Traitors spawn…” He turned his troubled eyes back to the giant beast. She snapped her attention back to it as well, _Oh Crators, I hadn’t thought of that!!!_ “This… This is something we could never have thought possible. The Trickster on this side of the Veil. It is an omen.” Sulah tensed more at that. Her retort died on her lips, leave it to a Keeper to see an omen when dealing with the Dread Wolf. She too, couldn’t help but feel this situation boded ill… _If only for Solas’ absence._

“I have a friend, Solas,” she started helpfully, “who would know what this creature is. He is not here right now, though. So, we will have to wait for him to return before he can give us an idea.” She nodded in acknowledgement of Taven, fellow follower of the god of Vengeance.

“That flat-ear?!” The vehemence in the Keeper’s voice startled her. “What could he know about the Trickster god that the People do not?” His angry gaze bore into hers.

“I-“ She thinned her lips unhappy with the Keeper’s reaction. “He is a mage! A Dreamer! I know they’re dangerous. But I was, _am_ , a Hunter of Clan Lavellan. I was taught to trust my instincts when out on the trail. I trust Solas, Keeper Hawen.” The Keeper turned red in the few moments of silence that followed her statement. When he opened his mouth to retort a low menacing growl came from the beast. The entire party turned to stare at it again. Sulah felt the Keeper shiver beside her. It took a few moments for her to realize the four, dark red, eyes were locked on him.

“Solas is quite knowledgeable on such things, Keeper Hawen.” Cassandra offered, she too eyeing the wolf.

“We are the Keepers of the Lost Lore, Seeker Pentaghast.” Taven proclaimed in a proud voice pulling everyone’s attention to him, staff tall beside him. “We have spent our lives, for generations, finding those things our ancestors left behind. If it is not known by us, it is not yet known, or never will be.” The hard look behind his vallaslin passed over the Inquisition members. 

Sulah was conflicted. Her kinsman was a man to be proud of, someone she might ask her own Keeper about… _if not for Solas_. Her heart clenched at the memory of his back striding away. _Why did he leave?_

She sighed and took stock of those around her. _The are more important things to worry about Sulah._

All thoughts were thrown to the wind when the god-like wolf shifted again.

#########################################

Amber had been listening to the conversation from the moment Harold mentioned Solas’ name. The older elf’s disparagement of him grated on her nerves, and she was able to work herself into a lunge. The chains she had been working to weaken over the past few days bent just a bit more and she got just a bit closer to the man. The group reacted immediately to her movement.

Before she could recoil, several sharp pains lit across her body, her head was gripped by a large unknown force and slammed into the ground. Her futile snarls leaving her dry maw as she blinked furiously out of three eyes. Three more attempts to remove whatever had blinded her fourth eye failed. Through the pain she attempted to locate Harold, finding her slower than she should have.

The woman stood in a stance that screamed she would release the two arrows knocked in her bow. Amber narrowed her remaining eyes and growled again. An all too familiar scene. The sound of her own growls and her drumming heart pounded out the shouting from the others as they moved in a flurry to protect themselves.

_I HATE YOU!_ she screamed at the elf in her mind, feeding the black pit forming in her already empty stomach. Her eyes caught on the elderly elf who was staring up at her with a strange fixated awe.

“-knock it out!!” The sound of The Iron Bull’s voice broke through to her conscious.

“Do you know nothing beast?!” The one called Hawen spat at the giant, moving still closer.

“Keeper!! Would you be willing to escort this creature back to Skyhold?” Amber could feel the woman’s eyes boring into her.

“What?! We need to convene the Arlathvhen! The Clans!” The old man began to move in between her and the others, his back to her. His concentration on his argument, and Amber watched him; could smell the fear, anger, and confusion coming off of him as he came closer into her reach.

“Keeper, wait!” The blonde one with tattoos like Harold’s shouted in concern. He lifted his staff high and she felt the telltale tug at the magic around her. She moved swiftly and snapped her jaws around the old man’s leg.

He cried out in shock and pain as the warm blood spilt into her mouth. A giddiness filled her as she shifted and let some of it pass down her throat just before her jaw went slack and her prey fell from her mouth. She watched the world roll as her head slumped another sharp pain radiating up from her neck. She couldn’t feel anything beneath where the cold steel protruded deeply in her spine. 

The shouts were a mangled cacophony as she realized someone had paralyzed her from the neck down. The perpetrator jumped from on top of her into her vision. The grey face and massive horns right in front of her muzzle. Her lips trembled in an attempt to snarl but nothing came out. His lone grey eye held a spark of intrigue as her muttered, “This is fucking crazy.” She felt the magic in her veins go to work and begin to build up around the wound, her body tingling as it rebuilt the pathways from her brain to the rest of her body around the invading object, but remained still in an attempt to lure them close enough to take out.

“Fascinating if you ask me.” The tall man the Seeker had named Dorian poked his own head in her view. “A blow like that and it is still alive? Absolutely fascinating.” His well-manicured hand reached out and spread her lone upper eye apart wider as he spoke. “Solas will be sorry he missed this.” She felt as his Arau stretched out through his hand and invaded her. 

His brows rose in surprise and his mouth opened in warning just before she snapped upward, her teeth barely missing the mage’s arm. He was sprawled, heaving, backwards across the giant. The Iron Bull had definitely pulled him away just in time. Later, when she would remember this moment, she would note the split second of worry that turned into burning rage on The Iron Bull’s face. Dorian pulled himself up with Harold’s help and The Iron Bull stood never removing his eye from her.

“Are you alright Dorian?!” Harold’s concerned voice the only one in the stunned silence of the group, outside of the Keeper’s gasps of pain. When he was steady she reached into his bag and began to pull out several familiar looking glowing blue vials.

“I do believe I have had enough wilderness for one month.” He dusted off his armor as he spoke.

“We will need more than a Dalish Clan to bring this creature to Skyhold.” The Seeker added walking up to the group.  
Amber did not want to go with them wherever this Skyhold was.

“Malie?” Harold looked back to the concerned trio of mages. The woman stepped forward. “How many Templars do you think it would take to help you escort this thing to the Frostbacks?”

The elf paled at her words, a slight tremble forming in her hand. “I…” She started and then looked back to her friends, who were just as ghostly. “Thir- Thirty maybe?” Harold just nodded and returned to the side of the Keeper. He was pale as well but from blood loss. The blonde, _Taven, or Tavin_ , (she couldn’t remember which), pouring copious amounts of his magic into his elder. 

The younger elf ended the spell and took one of the vials with a look of relief and cautioned thanks, whispering out of fatigue, “ _Ma serranas, lethallan_.” Amber narrowed her eyes at the _very_ faint blush that rose to her cheeks.

“Boss.” The Iron Bull called walking clear of her reach. “We need to do something about this monster of a wolf now.” She looked up at him and then back to Amber, assessing.

“Why? We should hurry and call for a contingent of Templars as soon as possible, yes. But they seem confident she is secured.” She stood after checking over the elf once more.

“Because that thing is crafty. And, the chain is too weak to hold it much longer.” Amber growled in frustration. The sharp eyes of the Seeker skewering her. 

“Are you serious?” Harold’s back straightened.

_No use in waiting._ Amber lunged at the woman again. This time the group was unprepared and scattered. Seasoned fighters not as far as the less experienced. The chain stretched that much further, but she didn’t recoil this time; just kept a steady pull on the chain. 

_Away._

_I have to get away._

The metal pulled into her skin and tore at it. The sword in her neck shifted and she whined out in pain but didn’t stop pulling forward. Her concentration was so focused, when the chain snapped she jerked forward stumbling on her front feet. 

Her instincts didn’t let her down, though. The back to pushed and she leapt forward reorganizing her front legs to land correctly, and then she took off toward the open plains. The pain was excruciating, but the chains falling away from her made her feel light.

The two shots to her right hind leg hit their mark but only slowed her down enough the giant was able to grab hold of her. He used her fur to pull himself toward her neck. She attempted to shake him off, but his strong grip in her fur made that impossible with her lack of strength. Only once did she snap at him only to have a hard fist chip one of her longer fangs.

When she felt the sword pop free from her neck she rolled. He cursed loudly as he careened to the ground. He rolled and pursued, but she didn’t look back. The removal of the sword pushed her healing into high gear and she was faster and stronger than moments before.

Halla and smaller animals cried out, fleeing well before her and the splash of water in the creek did nothing to slow her down. The falls ahead forced her toward the pull of old magic on her right and then she was around the cliffs and rock faces inside an old ruin.

Death was on everything. The scent permeated the living plants as well as the old disturbed graves. It wafted on the breeze from the open tomb in the back. The trees high above the wall were too tall for the ground to be even with that under her feet. She was in a depression. When her eyes found a boulder that allowed for safe passage into the foliage above she shot for it, and bounded out into the forest. Her ears only just picking up on the frustrated curse the giant cast at the empty cemetery.

Amber ran until she passed a large dirt road. She made sure to stay well out of sight of it, but could scent the faint stench of the well-traveled path. She followed it north. Nothing guiding her but the need to get away from those horrible people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter any better than the last? I was anxious to get her to where she is right now. 
> 
> Immerghensi is like finding a Decorative Gem when you've already cleaned out the Mages and Templars in the Hinterlands and still have that damned Tapestries quest.:)
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns, and critiques are welcome. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking around with my slow ass writing process:)


	36. Chapter 36

Immediately after reaching a safe distance, out of sight of the Inquisition, he used an unwise amount of mana to transport himself to a place he remembered vaguely. The ruin was all but overgrown by snow and plants no one in the much smaller, much farther south, occupied territories of Thedas would recognize.

He vaguely wondered if the Kossith had ever ventured this far north in their explorations as they had south. The thought passed quickly as he reached the crumbling walls that Wisdom occupied during her years as a tutor for the young of those who were counted among his faithful, when he had cared about such matters as status. 

He drank deeply from the small untainted creek that had, over the years, wound its way through the ruins. It was warmed by some gentle magic that had survived the Veil and the millennia. An enduring memorial to his People. 

He arranged some of the foliage into a pile and curled up nosing his own furry flank, slightly startled that he had shifted without notice, and slept. He would wait to see if something returned in Wisdom’s place.

The memories danced as he waited, staring at where Wisdom would have occupied the scene. The children excited or bored. They whispered to one another about their futures, or their families, love or love lost. _Blissfully unaware of how short their immortal lives would be._ His grief doubled calling more Spirits to watch. 

He saw two young boys animatedly describing what sort of vallaslin they would put on their own servants. He caught the end of a memory where Wisdom interrupted a tryst. It, _she_ , obviously startled the young couple as the two separated and covered themselves. They avoided looking where he could almost feel her presence. Many, many, memories of a life that had touched more souls than beings that currently occupied the entirety of Thedas. _And, would have touched so many more if only…_

He could feel the sting in his eyes as his grief fought his ever-present control. He took a deep deliberate breath and let his mind clear.

No thoughts came to him as he watched on. Years passing by in moments. Until, in one, his much younger self walked into the room and addressed the empty spot. He thought back to the moment having to actively access the memory from his vast mental vault. He gave her a glimpse of his regret at having to send her from the school that she loved. Wisdom had taken the news of her relocation with all the dignity befitting a well-loved Sage.

Her understanding of everything, throughout the entirety of his time knowing her, had astounded him in a way no other could. Even if she was Wisdom incarnate. She had taken every setback, and failure around her in stride. He admired her, all through her life, and would until his own death.

He left the Fade and slowly opened his blue eyes, focusing forward on the water. The stream bubbled from its spot in the middle of the floor. He watched it for a while, contemplating his next steps. His eyes flicked up and fixed on the crumbled walls. Walls that had fallen do to his folly.

_My Failure._

He had made many far-reaching mistakes over the years. So many that they could all be gathered under one giant Failure. His lack of foresight, his lack of options, his inability to think out and plan for this, now blatantly obvious, miscalculation. He could have done so many things differently, more efficiently. His quickening breath warmed the air as his mind began the familiar task of replaying his biggest mistakes.

He had failed them. 

His People. 

His friends. 

The magnificent Walkers who once rivaled the Titans in size.

The Spirits and Demons of the Fade. 

The Veil had taken everything from them. 

_His_ Veil.

He had failed the Shadows.

They were _still_ suffering through slavery and oppression. The world had not changed. And to make matters worse, the Elves held no authority in this age. Even the Dalish, proud and defiant as they appeared, were laughed at in the walls of a place that had once been theirs. A place where the Shadows’ Game had reached peaks the Orlesians could only dream to reach.

He had even failed the Quicklings.

They shunned magic they had envied and sought after. Tevinter was a mockery of Elvhenan, was the last vestiges of that once universal goal. Now the Chantry taught that magic was evil, a curse. The mages were kept ‘safe’ in their Circles. Raped and tortured, by Templars. The Templars, held as slaves through their addiction. They touted their power all in the name of safety and security. The Freedom he had sought, nothing but a passing myth. 

_The Veil has changed nothing._

That cold truth settled bitterly in his gut, the hard stone stilled his emotions into anger.

He did not lash out. 

He did not rage or scream. 

There were better uses for his anger; more productive ones. Solas schemed as he stood upright, shifting back into his bipedal form. A trip out to the former entrance of the Villa and back did not take long. The white blossoms of the ice flowers that bloomed there a perfect memorial. Long fingers delicately placed the magically crystalized blooms in the spot he had laid. He bid his final farewell and he turned away. 

He reappeared in southern Orlais, in the Emerald Graves. The mine that had been used to grow red lyrium in the region. Sickly air clung to his dirty skin as he moved forward. The scout he encountered at the base camp in the Graves informed him the Inquisitor had been through two days prior and was heading back to Skyhold to prepare for the Masquerade in Halamshiral. The rest of his travel back was hastened with magic and he arrived the day before they were to leave.

As he walked through the portcullis to the Keep he noticed Sula- _The Inquisitior_ rushing down to meet him, a girlish smile on her face. It disappeared just before she reached the distance any of her kind would be able to make it out on her face. Replaced with what little genuine concern she held, she was a children’s book in comparison to the lengthy novels she was often among. She was simplistic in her wants, and conniving in a way only young females could be… 

He thought back on their interactions. The things she had asked him, about the Fade and himself. Her decisions as Herald and Inquisitor. The shift of her personality since taking on a leadership role. Her ‘discrete’ discussions of Andrastianism with the Seeker. The kisses in the Fade, and on the scaffold in the Empris. 

Millenia of practice in diplomacy guided his mindless words as he thought on these things until she said, with a slight blush, “The next time you have to mourn, you don’t need to be alone.” In the space of one of the Shadow’s heartbeats he made a decision. 

Inside he embraced a piece of himself he had shed when he took up the mantle of The Dread Wolf. Cold and calculating logic taking over where he had allowed his empathy to reign for so long. _Too long._ There would never be another Wisdom, even should another form.

Should Thedas sink into the Seas, his People would be restored. This broken world would be set to right.

_The way it should have been._

On the outside he allowed his face to soften, his body to relax, and he looked down in faux uncertainty, “It’s been so long since I could trust someone…”

“I know.” She replied placing her small hand on his shoulder. His eyes locked onto the tiny fingers. The touch felt foreign, where before it had been comforting. So alien that Solas wished her away, but knew for her to be useful later he would have to lay the foundation now. 

Her crystal blue eyes shone brightly, reassuringly, as she gazed up at him. _A god of trickery, indeed_. They watched each other, her face growing soft when she found what he wanted her to find. She unconsciously stepped forward and leaned into his space. Everything she felt for him was on display. “I’ll work on it. And… thank you.” He stepped back, allowing her to see the slight tremble he forced into his steady hand. Then turned toward his rooms.

His mind began evaluating and reevaluating the risks. _No more mistakes._ The Nightingale, the Ben-hassrath, the Author, The Diplomat, and, oddly enough, the Seeker were of chief concern in this endeavor. They would notice if he made a mistake. Possibly even the Tevinter. The Inquisitor had become very close with the Altus over the past few months as well; the two were nigh inseparable when on missions together.

He could sway her in any direction he needed her to move, should he put the right pieces in the right places. She was young and naïve; an equation of giving and withholding. He would have once called it simple, but caution was needed. His hands paused in his packing for the trip to Halamshiral, only for a moment, as he contemplated what fostering those feelings in her could mean.

Solas stood upright from where he bent over his bags. The small mirror they had allowed him was above his armoire. He took in the man there.

He stood tall with a straight back, his broad shoulders accentuated by his choice of clothing. His hands were steady. His angular face placid as he usually kept, with a strong jaw set tight with indecision in his candid moment with himself. His face slightly more gaunt than the last time he took stock of his appearance. _Grief eats the weak._ He chuckled darkly to himself.

She already desired him. From the moment she had laid eyes on him, in fact. All he would need to do would be to reciprocate a touch here, or a whispered word there. A contrived moment alone in close quarters. Perhaps a gentle brushing of her ear with his lips… He had played at courting before.

Meeting his own eyes, he internally asked himself if he could violate her trust in _that_ way, should it come down to it. A part of him, the touched starved part, relished the idea, while his still intact morality cringed. He weighed the costs and resumed putting the tunic into his pack. After a few moments he sighed. _Perhaps I will have recovered the foci before then…_ He shoved the unsettling possibilities aside and focused on remembering what he could of Dalish customs. 

**************************************************************

The sheer number of people tending the Inquisition slowed travel to a snail’s pace. They had pulled out all the stops. The Ambassador felt that in the end it would be worth the expenditures should the peace talks conclude in the favor of the Inquisition.

Solas watched the fanfare with a mild interest. He had only ever seen the inner workings of his own balls; and they had been planned by someone else before he approved them. The servants traveling with them were either excited or stoic. The young ones worked in earnest, and their elders went through routines, practiced and proven.

The young elven apprentice and older elven butler who were in charge of his own attire and training greeted him as they camped that first night and went over courtesies and practices of the Orlesian nobility at the behest of the Ambassador. 

“You will need to know the customs in order to play the part.” The Ambassador’s condescending tone had not been deliberate, he knew. She was not the only one aware of the Inquisition’s very precarious position. The Inquisitor’s temporary title of Mediator held an invisible ax over the organization. 

Ambassador Montilyet’s position was unique, though. She was the one responsible for diplomatic relations. Should the talks fail, the Empress and Orlais would fall to demons, so said Cole. Yes, the Inquisition would be harmed a great deal, but the Montilyets would lose everything to the shame of her failures.

He watched the two elven servants talk, as he thought on how best to turn the situation to his advantage. The elven former lover of the Empress held the key to his Eluvians. Felassan had sided with the woman in the end and died for it. A regrettable loss, but necessary. Betrayal at any level had always been unforgivable.

 _Perhaps a visit from her preferred Elvhen god is required._ He mulled the thought over before moving it to the back of his mind to address the butler’s question.

“I am not bothered by my designation as the Inquisitor’s man servant. I thank you for the concern and the insight.” The old man nodded with a firm look and turned the conversation to Solas’ attire for their stay in Halamshiral.

He had no qualms with the situation, save one. _The nose cuff._ It was the mark of a trusted ‘servant’. Josephine and Leliana had impressed on him the importance of the ‘jewelry’ in Orlesian Society, and thus Solas’ own cover. He slid the pure silver cuff from his pocket and examined it while nodding at the man’s explanation of the proper procedure to refill the Inquisitor’s glass, which moved into when it was appropriate for him to excuse himself from her presence.

His finger traced up the long cuff that had been hand crafted to fit him. It was elegant, for the work of a human, and smooth with no inlaid etchings. When worn, a curved band gripped the upper bridge of his nose and the base rested on the left nostril. Surprisingly, the design was flawless in execution. It would not slip from his face no matter the activity he engaged in.

His eyes wandered to the other fire, where the Seeker and Tevinter quietly counseled the Inquisitor with some last-minute advice the girl was already weary of hearing. The two were losing their audience. Her eyes wandered as the two debated the necessity of her dancing with some of the nobles: The Seeker against, the Altus for. When her vivid blue eyes sought and found his own, he gave her the lazy smile that made her heartbeat audible from his position across the camp. 

He looked away deliberately and bid the butler and his apprentice a good evening before leaning back in his bedroll. The warm spring evening would be conducive to star gazing and he disliked missing the chance to gaze upon the only thing time had left relatively intact. His fire died down and he mumbled the stories of the constellations from his childhood under his breath until the Fade welcomed him.

****************************************************

As he passed through the outer gates of the city, Solas felt something touch his mind, causing him to stop and check his surroundings. His massive presence touched on someone else’s. He had no trouble keeping his composure but finding one of the People in a city he had not found one in in his last brief visit surprised him. He only let himself physically glance in the direction they were in, when he felt a dulled curiosity from the presence. The lack of clarity in the emotions worried him slightly, but he needed to remain focused. They had one night to their own devices after the Masque. He resolved with himself to investigate the presence then; if another opportunity did not present itself before then. He pulled away from the presence and moved on with the Inquisition into the Human quarter.

The Masque was scheduled for the end of the week and the Inquisitor had several parties to attend beforehand. Solas would escort her to most as her personal servant. Her abilities in the physical realms of combat where formidable, but he was interested to see how she would react on a completely different battleground. He wondered idly if she would be able to competently participate in any of the socially complex exchanges for which the Advisors had tried to prepare her.

Each party he attended set him deeper into the familiar territory of The Game. He played his part masterfully, to the complement of the other members of the Inner Circle. The Inquisitor held her own quite well for an amateur among enemies. More so, with the help of her more experienced companions, and his own subtle prodding.

***************************************************

It was the night of the Masque when he had time to ruminate on the presence he had felt when they first arrived. When he reached out to find them, he was pleased they were close to the Winter Palace. The night would prove fruitful for many reasons.

The Inquisition arrived at the Palace with no issues. The front gardens, a grand show of Orlesian pomposity, served as an outer foyer for those awaiting the opening of the inner gates. While they waited, Grand Duke Gaspard introduced the Inquisitor to many of those from whom he sought support. Solas tuned out his flowery words, discretely locating the Elvhen on the premises while noting the Nobles who had been able to avoid the grasp of the Chantry and the Templars. A few of _those_ had even absentmindedly picked up on his on presence. Which meant that their mage blood was purer than most others. He filed the information away to ponder on later.

To his surprise, his kin was located in bowels of the Palace, most likely the servants’ quarters. The thought unsettled him, even more so when he remembered talk of rooms that could only be unlock by solving puzzles. In his experience, rooms like that _always_ held secrets. And, the secrets of those who held power were most often more heinous than those who did not. The Inquisitor cupped her mouth and leaned into him, breaking his train of thought.

He listened carefully as she admitted, once again, her fear of being poisoned. He inwardly frowned at her unease. From what he understood of Dalish culture, which was admittedly little by design and circumstance, those destined to be hunters and warriors early on were encouraged to become immune to the more common poisons used by the wandering clans. Those common poisons were also common in other cultures. He only nodded politely and assured her he would acquire her refreshments himself. A perfect opportunity to investigate the presence. 

The Ball officially began shortly after, and he was next to the Inquisitor for the first full hour before sunset. The Ambassador had arranged for the Inquisition’s gift of Antivan Wine to be the first set out. They received their first glasses from familiar and trusted faces. 

“It’s… not the worst. I still want to taste something you would recommend, Solas.” The Inquisitor had leaned in after grimacing at the taste. His proper position was just behind her left shoulder, so it was easy when no one was paying attention to lean in and whisper to her.

He was sure to let his lips brush her ear as he spoke. “I would love to select a wine for you, Da’assan.” Her shiver and vivid blush informed him he had achieved the desired affect and he let her hear his pleased chuckle.

She met his eyes through her lashes, and he took in her visage as she scrambled to organize her thoughts. The fabric Madam de Fer had selected was an ice blue which accentuated the exaggerated color of her eyes. The design had been based on the armor found in the crypt in the Exalted Plains. It suited her, he concluded. It also had accents that would associate her with the Enchantress. The long train bunched in her lower back and formed a deep V which met in a shallower V that ended just above her bust. A faux collar folded down over her shoulders, exposing her neck and collarbones. She was a vision to be sure.

He followed her as they navigated through the sea of guests, taking every opportunity to pull on her heartstrings. He let his hand glance over her skin at inopportune moments, causing her to blush. Masterfully keeping all her attention on him while at the same time he assisted her in her attempts at socializing in the Courts of Orlais.

He found the earliest opportunity to head in the direction of the kitchens. The Inquisitor had asked about a wine that had been provided. He smiled at her warmly and pulled her into a discrete corner, where his breath brushed the edge of her ear as he whispered his recommendation of a wine that she “would adore.” He smiled as she shivered and gave her consent for him to go.

As he strode from the ballroom Leliana caught his eye. He immediately, but reluctantly, followed her to a quiet area; noting the teasing gleams in the eyes of the Inquisitor’s nearby companions as they retreated.

“Do not do that again, Solas.” Her voice was cordial but held the sharp edge of a dangerous woman. Her eyes skimmed the crowd as she spoke.

“Do what, Lady Nightingale?” He played innocent. He had gained his ‘Trickster’ title from events such as these, after all.

“I know she looks beautiful in her gown. But we cannot afford for her to lose face with the semblance of trysting with her servant.” She was playing the understanding colleague.

“I am aware of this, Nightingale. I am also aware of the fact that most Orlesians have some sort of elf fetish.” He had seen too many of their dreams throughout the week. “We stand to lose no more ground than we make up. And… She may gain favor, if not pity, from some of the more desirable contacts. The Inquisition would do well with a little scandal.” He turned from the woman’s shrewd face. “But you know this.”

“Appearances _are_ the face of the Game.” She conceded a smile in her voice. After a few moments of silence between the two she stood and began to pass him moving back up the stairs. “You are a better player of The Game than we suspected.” Her tone was too thoughtful and measured. “I will remember this.” She strode back up the stairs and he followed.

The looks some of the loitering guests cast in the pair’s direction would garner much more talk as the events of the Ball were spread around Orlais. The subtler details would come out when witnesses gathered and shared the gossip that would fuel the taverns for years to come.

It would be in bad taste to show his amusement at how much the women of all modern races flocked to the more scandalous liaisons across the societies he had been in contact with. He shook his head as he strode down the stairs to the servants’ quarters, smiling at the young elven women stepping out of his way as their eyes darted to his ears in surprise. Their pulses quickening.

_Like old times, indeed._ He smiled lightly at the pleasant memories that flooded him. Wicked and benign.

He focused on the presence when he stepped through the entrance, checking the direction from which it called. The natural dampening effects of the materials used to build the Palace were made apparent when he felt dulled emotions become clearer. He hesitated a step or two when he realized they were stunted. The incoherent feelings concerned him in that this person was an adult Elvhen woman, not a child. _Illness, or mental defect?_ The former would be easily remedied, the latter… _There are so few of our women left…_

The fact she was working in the kitchens of Orlais said much. His short walk down the hall to the kitchen was made clear by swooning women and men. His only snag was the Head Housekeeper who stopped him to ask him his business there.

He deterred her with requests for two rare wines for the Inquisitor. The woman had moved off grumbling and pulling a ring of keys from inside the folds of her skirt. He stepped into the kitchen searching for the Elvhen and found _her_ sitting in front of a wash tub scrubbing a plate. There were large piles of dirty dishes stacked up around her.

For the first time since the loss of Wisdom he was speechless. He strode forward tentatively touching her Aura trying to figure out what he had missed, why he had not guessed it was her. _Why and how is she here!?_

As he was about half way across the kitchen he felt recognition pass through her Aura. She almost dropped her plate in her surprise. Her excitement building quickly. He smiled fondly at her clumsiness as she set the plate back into the tub gently. Then she turned, opening her mouth to greet him, and his blood ran cold. His footsteps stilled. Amber stopped before she could speak, brow furrowed in worry and he regained himself quickly, striding to her. She cautiously smiled up at him as he took in the state of her.

Her hair was a mess and she had a leather wrap around her head, angled over her left eye. Several layers of fresh bandages were wrapped tightly over her neck and shoulders, with bright red blotches soaking through. The stench of rot and blood clung to her beneath the strong perfumes meant to mask it. Healing bruises covered the underside of her chin and neck, while someone’s purple finger prints dotted the area just above her jaw line on the right side of her face.

When he finally met her remaining eye marred with a dark circle of fatigue, he found a dumbed joy underneath the glass of her fever. Which radiated off of her in a way that made even the busy kitchen seem chilly. He made sure to calm his fury at her state and smiled down at her. His Aura caressed her own comfortingly and she visibly relaxed. She too could be read like a book; _but one with much more interesting content_.

“ _Don’t look so sad, Solas._ ” She spoke slowly through her cautious smile. The words were slurred slightly, but enunciated. Clearly trying to impress him with the Elvhen. His heart sang at her fluency, but basking in his mother tongue could wait until they were safer, and elsewhere. Even in his concern he gave her a soft, genuine smile, and gently took her pruned hand in his own. The fabric of his bright red cuff darkening with dirty dish water.

“Come, Da’len. I have little time, but I will heal you.” He didn’t miss the slight disappointment when he replied to her in Common. The disappointment pleased him greatly, as he too preferred Elvhen. “Too many ears here, Da’len.” His words whispered for her only.

“Alright.” She whispered back, and let him lead her into the small open area just outside the kitchen door. A quick look around and he discovered a trysting spot they could use for privacy. She sat on the bench. His hands moved to her forehead to remove her bandages but she flinched away. “Wait!” 

“What is it, Da’len? You are clearly in pain. Your speech slurs with your rising fever and you are far more injured than what is visible, I am sure.” She looked dejected at his pronouncements.

“I was hired because the Steward said I was an ‘Oddity.’ One of the conditions of my hire was I had to agree to stay late after the dance tonight and meet with someone.” Her words tapered off at the end, clearly understanding the meaning of such an arrangement. She looked down in shame avoiding his gaze, her checks and ears reddened with embarrassment.

His blood boiled again, his back straightened, and his eyes hooded with displeasure. _How dare they!_ She flinched away slightly, as though she had heard his thoughts.

His magic rose up from the floor, enveloping her from the legs up. Each and every scrape was healed. He barely registered her rising pulse, the way she bit her lip, and shifted her legs together at the touch of his magic. His awareness reached her torso before he could respond in any way to her arousal. It took whatever self-control he had left in his being to keep his temper reigned in, to keep himself in control of the situation, and the beings upstairs alive. 

A large wound had begun to fester. It remained unhealed and untended to his mage sight. Rot and mold fed on her there, and the distinct flavor of magebane that had been soaked deeply into her flesh clung to the wound like maggots. His eyes met hers and the black ringed green, blown wide in desire, constricted in fear as his rage registered.

He quelled his anger through a great effort, but she was wary and had slipped away from him into the corner. When he reached out his hand to calm her, he heard a low and fearful, animal-like, whine come from her. He checked his surroundings again, making sure they were alone. When he looked back to see if she would indicate the threat her eyes locked on his hand as she braced for the touch. _What has happened to her that she would fear me?!_ At his surprise she seemed to catch herself. A deep breath later she was staring at her hands like a child caught snapping at their parent. The feral side of her had come up quickly, and he wondered how long she had been in the Fade.

His stilled hand moved again, gently pulling her face back to him. He stared into her eyes a long moment before speaking, “ _There is nothing to fear from me, Amber. Your nature is not simple and I should know better than approaching an injured Wolf in haste._ ” The tension in her shoulders relaxed, though her smile did not return; embarrassment still replaced it. Solas released her chin from his gentle, but firm grasp and resumed healing her. When her side was completely restored he moved to her neck and shoulder. Two puncture wounds marred her skin. One from a large fang, the other a two-handed sword of some type. Their eyes remained locked as he healed them both.

The moment he was satisfied with those he carefully removed the leather wrap that covered her injured eye. She flinched, again, when he reacted to the arrowhead still lodged in her eye socket. It was the same rage he felt before but tempered for her sake. He remembered every injury she had received in Haven. Knew these had been no less painful. Her overworked hands made to cover the injury but he deterred her with a sound of displeasure. His gentle fingers carefully removed the high-quality arrow point and the rotting remains of her eyeball.

His face twisted in concern as he shifted the empty eye socket to the light. Her shame registered in his awareness again, and fear lingered in her Aura. The muscles in the empty eye socket moved when her remaining eye looked away from him. Her emotions only soured his mood more, but time was fleeting and he needed to hurry back into the kitchen. It had already been too long.

With practiced ease he reconstructed her eye and she stared at him in awe. He hated that look. The look of one who had seen the great work of a ‘god.’ He hated it more now, on her face. “When the next opportunity to leave occurs, there is an exit to the streets of Orlais on the east side of this level. I expect to find you outside of the Angry Noble tavern in the elven quarter as Satina sets.” His words were not cold, but they did convey she was to do as she was told. She nodded dumbly her eyes still glassy from the fever that would recede within the hour. 

He stood and held his hand out to her. She stared at it contemplating a moment. “I expect you, Amber. You will tell me what happened to you.” Her restored gaze lifted and she nodded taking his hand. A storm of emotions swelled behind them: Relief most prominent. He escorted her from the private nook, but just before they entered the kitchen she pulled at his elbow. He turned to give her his attention, only just realizing she had not spoken much. 

She surprised him with a hug, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. She shuttered a moment regaining her breath from what must have been a silent sob. Her voice came out hoarse and his heart twisted at the break in it. “I missed you, Solas.”

He breathed in deeply, wrapping his arm around her tightly. Feeling her solid against him. The scent of the Fade clung to her and his lips quirked. _It suits her…_ “I missed you too, Amber.” He was not surprised to find it true. 

Solas walked her back into the kitchen in silence, save a sniffle from her, and deposited her back at the wash tub. The Head Housekeeper spotted him then, the woman’s ire building as she strode forward. Her chastisement fell on deaf ears as he pulled the two bottles from her grasp. His long purposeful stride, confident and untroubled, took him back down the hall quickly. His thoughts coalescing into a plan to keep her near him. 

To keep her safe.

This world was too cruel to leave her alone. He renewed his vow from Haven. He would do everything he could to keep her from suffering as she had, now for a second time. And, he would repay in kind the culprits of the state he found her in; once he found them.

“ _Those who helped. And those who did not._ ” He softly declared as he took note of the rage demons that had begun to push on the thin Veil that surrounded the Winter Palace, and the whole of Halamshiral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive. And still writing slow. So thanks for sticking around!!!
> 
> Let me know what you think of this chapter.
> 
> I also must give credit to immerghensi. She helped my inability to think of words that actually exist in my vocabulary but was too single minded to think about. Ruminate being one of them. And her input on a few pivotal paragraphs helped immensely!!!
> 
> As always comments questions and concerns are welcome and encouraged!!
> 
> Edit: Two sentences and a name change.


	37. Chapter 37

“We need those pots!” Shouted Skyhold’s head cook. Amber jumped, startled out of her pleasant thoughts. She looked over her shoulder and found the tall orderly human glaring at her. Looking down to the large pot she had been trying to scrub burnt porridge from for what seemed like hours, she sighed. All of her pleasant thoughts were of the absentminded kiss Solas had placed on her knuckles before leaving the kitchens at the palace in Halamshiral. It was a moment that made her smile to herself every time she thought of it. One that caused her heart to ache with a bittersweet joy at being treated like a princess. It kept her afloat and focused when she was running errands back and forth across the giant fortress while awaiting Solas’ return. 

“NOW!” Her shoulders jerked again and she huffed out a heavy breath before renewing her efforts to remove the mistakes of the apprentice cooks. The head cook mumbled threats at Amber as she walked out of the wash rooms. Amber blew loose strands of hair from her sweaty face as she thought on the month that had passed since her return. 

Her treatment was only slightly better than when she was in Haven, but most of the faces around her were new. Meaning they had only heard rumors and had not seen anything _that_ creepy. _They may not even know it’s me._ Most everyone still stayed away from her. Which was easier than trying to avoid them all herself.

The elves gossiped about her, because their favorite Apostate had arranged for her to deliver most of his meals. Which were few and far between, because the Inquisitor almost always brought him with her on missions. The humans didn’t really avoid her so much as ignore her. She had been forgotten several times as she worked quietly, only for a couple to stumble into the wash room for a quick afternoon delight. Amber growled slightly in frustration as the memories of the amorous couples always reminded her of the night she returned to the Inquisition. More specifically, the scene she walked in on when she walked into the plaza in front of the Angry Noble. 

Harold had wrapped herself around Solas like a tentacle. The kiss explained Solas’ distracted demeanor and caused Amber to recoil her Aura into herself, where it remained when he was home. A quick glance at her blonde guide shoved the knife digging into her chest even further. His smile was content, almost joyful.

She chose to stare at the rogue who smelled delightful, and whose name she could never remember. Solas had sent him to guide her safely through the palace after he was informed of the intent to silence the staff. Their journey had been silent and uneventful. Save for the few moments he would glare at her whenever she lost herself in his delicious smell. 

His blue eyes had cut to Amber and his warm smile faded into a concerned frown that turned into one of pity. It was the nicest emotion he had ever worn on his face while looking at her, and it had pissed her off. She returned her eyes to the couple and the blonde said it made Solas happy. They broke apart at his words.

Amber hadn’t missed the smirk on Harold’s face, but focused on the warm smile on Solas’. He greeted her and the four quickly made their way back to where the Inquisition was lodging. Harold explained Solas and she had arranged for Amber to help out in Skyhold’s kitchens, and run messages when not assisting him.

Her reunion with the Inquisition had gone as well as she might have expected; had she actually thought about what it meant to return. Her focus on figuring out a way to help Solas had cost her any preparation for coming face to face with the heads of the Inquisition. 

The Commander just shook his head, scowling, and walked back to a table full of paperwork. Amber was certain the Bird Woman hadn’t blinked during the entire, hour long, reintroduction and interrogation. Harold had a smug tone in her voice the entire time, and the Ambassador was clearly uncomfortable being in her presence. Amber couldn’t keep track of the times the woman’s eyes drifted warily below her neck line searching for something. It was only later that Amber realized one of the few times the two had been in close proximity, there were a large number of weapons sticking out of her. 

The interrogation also made the reality that she would need to watch what came out of her mouth crystal clear. She explained she fell from the Fade, presumably from another rift, and wandered around until she ran into a group of elves on their way to Halamshiral to take advantage of the opportunities that ‘opened up’ before, during, and after events such as the Masque.

Harold’s eyes had darkened at her explanation. Amber could believe she was sorry to report no one in the kitchens had survived the assassins. She almost believed that she, herself, felt bad for the kind souls that had taken her in and helped her obtain the job washing dishes at the palace. She was grateful but no matter the obligation she might feel for their kindness, she could not find it in herself to mourn their tragic passing. She had more important things to worry about, even if she still had no real details as the what she should be doing for Solas. She wasn’t proud of herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to care either. 

She answered questions of her ‘original’ home with the standard “I don’t remember”. While true, amnesia only raised the suspicions of the Red Head. The narrowed eyes always demanding for her to stop lying. Amber was supremely glad it was the truth.

The ‘Companions’ of the ‘Inquisitor’ were only slightly better. Cassandra, Vivienne, and Sera all argued for her to be monitored by the former Templars at all times. The tall mustached man Amber remembered from Haven’s destruction, introduced himself as “Dorian Pavus of House Pavus. Most recently of Skyhold.” She stared at him blankly as he took the same hand that Solas had kissed and placed a genteel peck on her fingers. _Like a princess!_ She squealed internally as outwardly she shivered and blushed looking away. The amusement of The Iron Bull and Varric was verbal as well as visual. They seemed genuinely pleased to see her and were the only ones; outside of Solas.

The group pulled answers from her in the guise of conversation. Though, she had been warier of them and declined any alcohol. They were satisfied when relayed the same information she had told the Nightingale and her cohorts, and they let her leave to claim her room with the servants.

The day after her arrival at Skyhold, Harold selected Solas for a mission along with Varric, The Iron Bull, and Sera. Solas had told her he wouldn’t have much time to visit in the Fade, but she “need not worry about her appointed ‘chaperons’, as he had made sure the Spy Master would be kept busy while he was gone. She had no idea what he meant but was grateful.

Her tour of the fortress had been given by Miss Rasha. The smile on the elderly woman’s face when she walked into the room calmed Amber’s nerves about returning. The older woman gave her an awkward hug. “I’m so glad you’re alive, Amber!” 

“Me too, Miss Rasha.” Relief flooded her when the hug tightened, and small tears escaped her eyes. She hadn’t realized how much she had missed her seeing her alleviated the worry of her fate. She asked about the others, Margarette and Ashara at the forefront of her thoughts.

The older elf had told of their harrowing escape from Haven. The miraculous survival of the Herald. Her dreams from the Maker that lead her to Skyhold, and her appointment as Inquisitor. “Though rumor amongst the elves is the Apostate knew where to look.” Amber listened politely to the accolades, only scowling over her bathing bucket that evening. 

Miss Rasha also relayed that half of the ladies from the vat House had not made it out of the small besieged town. At Amber’s concerned look, she assured her that both Ashara and Margarette had survived, but neither worked with her in the vats down by the river. Amber couldn’t tell her why the phrase ‘vats down by the river’ made her laugh, because she didn’t know. It was just funny.

The small town outside the walls of the Keep had surprised Amber. She felt nostalgia for some reason. There were lots of flowers and greenery growing all over the wooden buildings. It was picturesque, quaint. She would try to figure it all through the rest of her day, only to suffer a sharp head pain and a nose bleed. Afterwards, she suddenly remembered puzzles. Pictures of cottages and small villages nestled in remote places surrounded by nature.

When she relayed this information to Miss Rasha, as the woman worriedly fussed over her bloody nose she laughed and shook her head. The slightly more joyful attitude of the older woman sparked a conversation on appreciating life more wholly. The day ended with a promise of a weekly meal together.

On the tour, Amber had heard a few people discussing how quickly the foliage came in after settling and rebuilding almost everything. Soldiers and scouts who rotated out into the field were always nervous and could not grow used to odd feeling of the magic that surrounded them on the mountain. Amber quit liked the familiar taste of magic. Only ever just on the verge of recognizing why it was so familiar. Those people who remained at all times, blacksmiths, servers, clothiers and the like- all found comfort in the jagged and protectively looming walls and atmosphere.

As a result of the latter, there were more children than in Haven. Parents, elven and human, would wave and greet Miss Rasha as the two passed. Miss Rasha explained the Inquisition had allowed higher ranking members to bring their families and servants’ families to the safety of Skyhold, while at the same time staffing the non-military jobs with people from trusted sources. Amber watched the children running around doing chores and small jobs. It seemed they cared for the homes while the adults cared for the Keep. 

By then end of her third day, Amber felt she was as acquainted with Skyhold’s layout as she could be, and on her fourth she started her new job. In the mornings, Amber worked in the kitchens and the rest of the day she ran messages. 

The pile of dishes had grown since she had started but the bulk of the more labor-intensive endeavors had been finished. The plates, goblets, and silverware would be done quickly and so she set into the task again. She laughed to herself as she dipped the pot back into the cooling water to rinse the last bits of soot away and started with the plates. She had been very busy since she arrived and was eager for a break when Solas returned, which still felt an eternity away.

 

It was a few days later, near evening, when the south watchtowers signaled the arrival of the Inquisitor and her party. Amber was waiting just outside the door of the Commander’s office when the lights on the bridge lit up. People began pouring out of the tavern and the homes spread out along the main thoroughfare of the village. Behind her she could hear the raucous from Harold’s Rest grow louder as the people inside moved into the courtyard. 

She had stepped up to the battlements at the sound of the horns and stared as the far gates raised to allow the people off of the large elevator. A loud cheer went up from the far end and people began to bounce in excitement. A loud call from the Chargers startled her, and she heard a laugh bellow from the travelers making their way down the street. 

Flower petals began to fill the air and reign down on the returning heroes. The torch light caught the white petals and gave the appearance of actual snow falling. The rest of the town was soon aglow, as it’s denizens began to celebrate. Music soon began to fill the air. Lutes and flutes sounding off on different tunes and then those of the lesser quality began to pick up the melodies of their betters. The Companions took the fanfare in stride and Harold slowed to shake hands and greet people as best she could without stopping. The weary soldiers on horses and on their feet began to fall off at different points, but the bulk of them trudged forward into the keep.

It was when the head of the procession was around half way through the street when she spotted him. Her eyes locked on to his lean form. His dark cloak kept him almost hidden in the twilight’s shadows, but Amber would never mistake him for anyone or anything else. _It doesn’t hurt that he is right next to Harold._ The bitter thought threatened to overwhelm her, but she reached out to touch his Aura instead.

Just a poke.

_Welcome back_ , her aura gently said to his. She was not disappointed. The glow of his eyes shown from the shadow of his hood as his Aura brushed against her own in return. 

_It’s good to be back._ , was the wordless reply. It was brief, a quiet and private moment. She smiled down at him and pulled herself back in, not wanting him to feel her happiness that the experience was theirs alone. Something Harold would never be able to understand.

“You are aware of the relationship between he and the Inquisitor, are you not?” The gruff voice of the Commander came from her left. True to her unobservant ways, she jumped in surprise. _I couldn’t be this oblivious as an animal could I?_

His chastising expression at her reaction embarrassed her more. He stared, obviously waiting for her response.

She gathered her wits and eyed him suspiciously again. The man had become friendlier since her return, and it was odd. She expected him to call her a demon and lash out, instead he addressed her more and more like a person each time he saw her. She wasn’t interested in figuring out why. 

Instead of answering his infuriating question, she held out the slip of paper entrusted to her, “This is a message from the Ambassador. She requested a response first thing in the morning.” The paper the message was written on fluttered in the cool evening breeze as he retrieved it from her. His large hand clasped her own causing her to look up into his face.

Commander Rutherford’s expression was soft, knowing. It was a look that set her hackles to rise. The low growl that issued from her chest turned his attempt to sympathize into a frown.

She turned and headed back around toward the tavern, her mind already turning to how she would greet her only friend. She ignored the leader’s eyes on her back until she passed through the door on the other side of the portcullis.

The tavern was still loud as she strode past Blondie’s makeshift home in the attic. The floors of tables and rooms began to fill up as those long in the field began to celebrate their return. She was on the last flight of stairs when she was shouldered into the railing. 

“’Ey, watch out!” Screeched the familiar voice. Sera and Amber turned to each other, scowl in place. “Wha’? You still here!?” The encounter was plugging up the progress of the other patrons.

Amber waited a long moment before deciding to answer, trying to put a slightly off feel in the air. “Yes. You came back, I see.” This earned her a laugh. At her, not with her.

“Tha’s all you can come up with? You get stabbed in the head again?” Sera shivered at her jab, clearly uncomfortable with the memories her statement had recalled. “Can you even drink? Being all… weird?” Her hands motioned at Amber’s whole body.

“Can you just leave me alone? I don’t even try to talk to you. You’re the one who keeps talking to me!” 

“That’s cause you keep invading the places I like to be.” Sera said simply. Amber had no response. The woman’s logic didn’t really make any sense to her, because the tavern was a hub in the fortress. 

Loud steps trudged up from the first floor and the woman called out to Sera. Amber stuck her tongue out at the elf, who responded with a raspberry of her own. The woman finally got Sera’s attention and the two began to speak animatedly. The archer’s distraction opened up a fine opportunity to maneuver between those who were waiting to move up or down the stairs. She was grumbling out the door before anyone could grab her attention again.

The night was ablaze with torches as she wound her way through greeting masses. She kept her eye on the horned figure of The Iron Bull and ploughed forward. About halfway to his position she spotted the shiny white hair of Harold trudging up the main steps, pulling Solas with her. Changing trajectory was not easy but she finally hit the foot of the stairs. She made up distance by skipping stairs two at a time, but the two had passed into the main hall before she made it to the dais. Her heart raced as she tried to skip three stairs and almost fell, but was quick to recover and continue. 

The hall was almost empty when she made it through the massive doors. A quick look around showed no sign of the two and her heart fell. _I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow._ Her disappointment was palpable but she knew she would be able to properly welcome him back in the morning, when she brought him his breakfast. The thought lightened her mind and she stood up straighter and pulled back her shoulders; a confidence booster when she had none.

The servants’ halls were full of late night revelers, impeding her trudge back to her room. The other maid servants and female scouts were enjoying time with the returned soldiers. There was laughing and giggling all throughout the hall. The Sisters from the Chantry were joining in far more fervently than she had seen previously. Most of the evidence she had of that was the blatant and overt sexual conduct going on behind some of the closed doors that remained uninterrupted. 

Some of the noises she heard, just in passing, caused her to blush and quicken her pace. A few fleeting fantasies of Solas swept through her mind as she reached her own door. That he was taken by the last person she would have liked swept them right back out again. With those thoughts she shed her clothes and crawled into bed. The pillow she shoved over her ears barely covered the noises from beyond the door.

 

The knocker up came early and she was out the door after putting on her best and only dress. She pulled at the seams that were fraying, wishing she could burn them off with a lighter. The thought caused her to pause in confusion. _There’s no way I could burn them off with a torch. The whole thing would go up in flames. And flint is out of the question._ She forced her hands to stop fidgeting. _Dammit! Focus Amber! You have to be an adult._ She took a deep breath, stood up straight and put her shoulders back. Her thoughts determinedly remained on completing her jobs that day.

The kitchens were already warm with the efforts of those preparing breakfast. Amber stepped up to the large stack of trays and pulled one from the top. A quick wipe down later she placed it on the table and pulled the slip of paper from her coin pouch. It was a list of the things she thought he might like. _Sweet fruits, nuts, spicy meats, and water._ She had pictured him praising her for her clever deductions after finishing it. 

_I missed him so much!_ she thought as she selected a pretty plate from the dish cabinet. It was a white plate with a bright green ring that reminded her of the Fade. A fork, knife, and spoon from a fancy set, gifted to the Inquisition by some dignitary or another, matched the black swirls that marbled their way through the green ring. Margarette, who had managed a job under the Head Cook had told her they were designed by a Master Potter in Antiva who had fallen in love with an apostate dreamer. Her descriptions of the Fade had inspired many of his works. The Templars had found the paramour and taken her away to the Circle. When he discovered she had been made Tranquil, he threw himself into the waters beneath Antiva City.

She thought Solas might appreciate the story behind them. It had been one of the things she thought to tell him so she could stay with him a few minutes more. Even if she was going to be helping him with his research. It was only after her duties in the mornings.

“You here to bring up the Apostate’s meal?” One of the older apprentices questioned bringing her out of her pleasant place. She looked up. Feeling her face brighten, she nodded. His eyes lightened at her smile and he continued, “Would you mind taking one for the Inquisitor as well?” He faltered slightly at the tightening in her face, “They are up in her tower, and you’re headed to him anyways…” 

Amber had managed to keep the smile in place as she nodded. Her body moved automatically to retrieve another tray. When she returned to the prep area the dish on the tray she had set out for Solas had been replaced by a pearl pink bowl. It contained porridge with milk and butter. Dried apples garnished the dish and a large soup spoon replaced those utensils she had picked out.

Her heart finally dropped and she gave the bowl a deprecating smile when she realized she had put way too much effort and thought into the moment. A hand snatched the tray from her own and a replica of Solas’ meal appeared before her. She stared at them a moment. _Reality is very cruel…_ A stone settled in her stomach, and her mind raced for an anchor point. Something to ground her: her promise to The Wolf filtered into the forefront of her mind.

_The long trek through the woods had taken whatever energy she had from her. The small band of elves had quickened their pace when they realized some kind of predator had caught their trail. She had only caught up with them because they needed to rest. Her fever racked mind had made the world hazy. She could only remember it tilting when she passed out from her injuries. The Fade welcomed her for the first time in a long while. The familiar green sky was refreshing to see, and her mind seemed a little more coherent there._

_The towering figure was there in the blink of an eye. She felt her tail wag at their reunion, but the joy was short lived as she registered his rage. Something or someone had angered him more than she could have ever conceived. Shrinking back in fear she prepared to protect herself. His voice rang inside her head, the words remained clear throughout everything: ‘You must help The Elf!’ He must have felt her confusion because he elaborated after his anger spiked. ‘Do what he needs you to do. It is the only way.’_

_She knew she didn’t had anytime to ask any questions. A hurried promise she knew she would keep was all she was able to manage. Then The Wolf lunged faster than she could evade and sunk his large fang into her shoulder. The agony of boiling bones had woken her from her sleep. The next time she was conscious she was bandaged and surrounded by the elves she had been tracking. The trip to Halamshiral was swift with the elves pulling her in a small cart._

 

The trip up the many flights of stairs wound up being easier than she had thought. She had time to go over the instruction Solas had given her in one of the brief private moments the two had had after her return. His work in the Fade had doubled and his circumstances with Harold had changed. She was bitter about it, but knew she needed to grow past it all. Her attempts to learn to control her facial expressions in the past month had only shown marginal results, but she was determined not to make trouble for him this time around. 

Things would be different this time. She would be better.

Solas’ last words of advice before leaving her were about being sure of herself and taking pride in what she was capable of doing. The exacting wording had been lost to her scattered brain. Regardless, she had taken the spirit of his words to heart and applied them when she remembered.

Two flights before she reached the door to Harold’s room she paused and readjusted her grip on both trays. _What if you go up there and one of them answers the door naked?_ Her body stilled at the thought, and her heart threatened to implode. She took a deep breath to help her regain her composure and focused on how well she had done holding both trays, one in each hand. All the way up the staircase. The balance was perfect on either side making it more natural for her to stand taller. Each step was nerve racking but she finally made it to the last landing without incident.

To her surprise as she approached the door, it swung open on its own. “Come in, please.” A masculine voice bid her enter, setting her heart to work. Soft footed as she could, she climbed the steps inside the door.

Solas sifted through parchments as he stood behind the desk that rested opposite the stairs. His bare chest drew her eyes as she carefully climbed into the room proper. When they returned to his face she found his warm smile greeting her. She couldn’t help the feeling he belonged there.

“ _Hi Solas!_ ” Her voice was quiet but her excitement was evident. It never failed to embarrass her. 

“ _It is good to see you too, Amber._ ” His eyes tarried on her ears for a few seconds before returning to her eyes. A glint of approval and delight flashed over them. 

He strode forward and helped her move the trays to the paper strewn desk. A wave of his hand moved the pages into neat stacks and both trays fit nicely on the cleared surface. “ _How have you been?_ ” His voice was at normal volume and she almost panicked when a snort came from the large bed.

Harold laid tangled in a bear skin. The bed looked as if it rested on two felled trees and the furs looked like they had seen many days out doors. Harold’s brilliantly white hair was the only thing she could see of the elf. Solas’ chuckle drew her eyes from the scene. 

“ _She is tired from our travels and will not wake._ ” His eyes had not left Amber. “ _Has everyone treated you well?_ ” She nodded and let her gaze move to the predawn sky. “ _I am glad to hear it. If anyone treats you in an inappropriate manner, please inform me and I will have it addressed._ ” Her smile widened at that. That he wanted to protect her caused a feeling she wouldn’t trade for anything. _Even if it’ll never be like I want it to…_

“ _I am a big girl, Solas._ ” None of her envy showed in her teasing voice, she was too grateful to show him if he was happy. “ _I appreciate the thought, but I can take care of myself._ ” A skeptical brow shot up at that. 

She chuckled and he responded, “ _While I am glad to hear your new confidence, I would still prefer to know how people are treating you. You tend to attract the wrong kind of attention._ ” 

Her face heated more, “ _While the facts are embarrassing, you don’t have time for that. And besides, now that you’re back I will be helping you with your research. Problem solved._ ” 

“ _True though that may be, I will not be here for long periods of time._ ” His eyes moved to the bed behind her and back. “ _I care very much how the Inquisition treats you in my absence._ ” She only nodded, too elated to say anything without betraying her excitement. The quiet seconds that followed were pleasant for them both.

“ _How was your trip?_ ” Amber finally managed to ask. Solas turned and contemplated the sky outside the open balcony doors. He stepped forward and motioned for her to accompany him. The morning air was chilled when she passed the windows in the tower stairwell. But there, next to Solas, even if it wasn’t magic, she couldn’t feel the cold. Her bright green gaze remained on him until she was standing against the railing on his right. Then her eyes turned to the fortress below. 

Bobbing lights lined the entirety of the battlements. All the way to the first portcullis. The watchman’s fire on the top floor of the barbican was small enough to not be seen by any enemies advancing from below. Servants and essential personnel were moving to their jobs in the early morning, and a few of the houses in the village were lit as though the occupants had been busy through the night. Likely cleaning from their fun. The scent of burning wood from the kitchens wafted up to them before he answered. 

“ _Enlightening, as well as… frustrating._ ”

“ _What was frustrating about it?_ ” She thought he might find Sera and the Iron Bull irritating. Or, Harold’s apparent incessant need to cling.

“ _I failed to receive information I needed. Among other reasons._ ” He shifted his legs slightly and his magic flared causing cold air to form around him.

“ _What about it was enlightening?_ ”

“ _I learned much about how the Spy Master keeps an eye on the Inquisitor._ ” The smirk in his voice had her curious.

“ _Care to share helpful information with a friend?_ ” She turned to look at him. “ _At least a good way to avoid her minions?_ ”

“ _Not yet. In any case, along with the precautions I put in place, you have figured out a way to keep her satisfied. I have not heard any word about you from The Inquisitor. A detail that brings no small amount of relief._ ” Amber blushed furiously at his sigh and the look in his eye when he turned to her. “ _I am pleased to see you fitting in more, Amber._ ”

“It’s always easier when I am able to work on my own.”

“ _Then, I am glad I advised correctly on the matter._ ” Solas smiled reassuringly at her. She loved all his smiles. The heat in her face grew and his eyes flickered to her ear and back again. Something caused the smile to warm as he stared into her eyes. 

The moment stretched on in that tiny eternity. Solas’ scent filled the air. Ancient ruins in the rain surrounded her. Everything she knew about him and the situation they were in passed through her mind. The fact they were the last of an ancient race of immortal beings. The two remaining vestiges of a People of which she still had no real knowledge. 

_Almost like we’re meant to be…_

Amber coveted. In that brief moment, she wished to solidify the bond that was forming between them. To prove to him, and to herself, that she was more than what she had been: A sleeping remnant. A being dreaming of life instead of living it.

Green eyes swept over his sharp handsome features, his broad naked shoulders. Her eyes drinking him in and bringing an ache to her fingers. A desire to feel his physical body again pulled at her being. The need to verify she wasn’t still dreaming clenched her heart. That he was a living breathing man, and not another figment of a demon’s need. 

She began to stretch out to him, with body and spirit. Her hand rising as her Aura overflowed toward his own. 

A snort and mumbled protest broke the magic. 

Her eyes focused on his and in that split second, she felt reality crash in on her. Then his eyes left hers and cut to his bed. 

_No… The_ Inquisitors’ _bed._.

He was in love with Harold. They were sleeping in the same room, the same bed. 

Embarrassment and guilt filled her and she quickly removed herself from his side. Three long strides had taken her halfway to her exit before a firm grip on her wrist made escape impossible. 

“Solas…” Harold groggily called his name before giving off a loud yawn. Amber froze in place, mortified.

“ _Sleep._ ” His lilting voice commanded. After the sound of a body hitting the bed, he adjusted his grip and turned her to him. Amber could feel the warmth of his body mingling with her own as his right hand lifted her chin so he could look her in the eyes.

A bittersweet feeling washed over her as she spotted her favorite expression form on his exquisite face. She watched his mind work furiously; he was deducing something, and she was smart enough to know his questions. She tried to smile, to hide her envy, but he saw it there. In the way her eyes glanced at the bed and back. 

Her face scorched her as he finished forming his answers. Realization spreading across his features. He released her and she looked down in shame. _I couldn’t even last a single day without making things weird!!_

A bell in the distance broke the silence. Solas shifted to look out towards the mournful tolling and Amber bolted for the stairs. 

The trip down was long enough she could calm. The only thing she would consider even remotely on the bright side was that she was going to make it to her room before she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, that took a long time to write. I am optimistic about where this chapter is taking the story. Good times soon!!!
> 
> immerghensi is great and is to thank for the bit at the end!! 
> 
> As always input is good. (Maybe a tip on writing Sera?) Comments, concerns, and questions always welcome. I moderate them but everything goes up.


	38. Chapter 38

Solas rose from bed early enough to peruse through the Inquisitor’s private papers and missives. He assessed the architecture of the new tower again. Its builders had done their job well. A thought brought the original warming runes to life, and the fireplace brightened in delight at the touch of his magic.

His fingers trailed over the pages, lighting up the finger prints that decorated the messages and reports. Those which bore the Spy Master’s were on top, consisting of agent debriefings of the missions they had just returned from. The Inquisitor’s party’s own statements were there as well. They reported the results of the final trip into what was now called the Forbidden Oasis. On the remains of what had been an abandoned study of Pride demons. Though, he was the only one who knew that’s what they had discovered.

He smirked as he remembered the translation the previous investigators had managed to scrape together from the carvings on the door. “ _Does no one in this age understand the concept of satire?_ ” He muttered quietly under his breath. The dialect of the inscription was older than the last he spoke before raising the Veil. His subsequent partial translations only added to the idea the laboratorial vault was a temple. A morose smile lifted his lips as he reflected on his People’s tendency to be ostentatious with their learning facilities and liberal with their humor. _The Orlesians only wish they could achieve a fraction of our grandeur._

The second set of reports detailed all of the outstanding issues they had resolved in the Western Approach and the Hissing Wastes; leaving only those that could be accessed after work by the Commander’s troops was finished. He made mental notes to have a few of the People investigate the Still Ruins where the Inquisitor retrieved the staff, Tempest, at the earliest opportunity.

Any residual magic could be used to reconstruct the object if necessary. The rest of the papers were updates on the territories under the Inquisition’s banners; as well as information on various individuals that had caught the attention of the higher-ranking members.

_The Commander’s Sutherland Group._

_The Nightingale’s Charter_

_The Ambassador’s Floriainne de Chalons._

His smile turned dark at the last. The Ambassador had seemed quite pleased with the effect of her little soiree featuring the wooden box. The nobles had backed down from several disputes after attending. From his correspondents with his agents in Val Royeaux, The Marquis had taken full advantage of the quiet nobility afterward as well. 

The last of the papers were known schematics of Adamant and viable assault strategies put together by the Commander and his own top advisors. _The younger races all think the same way…_

The battle would take some time, but nowhere near a length he was used to dealing with. It was laughable how quickly the shemlen were moving through this small war. It had taken six thousand years to fully end the wars that named the Evanuris generals. Not to mention the centuries long spats that broke out as they began to clash amongst themselves, gaining power with their growing prestige. The Wars in the Fade had lasted a mere two centuries.

The Inquisition was gearing up to head to Adamant in a month. The man, Hawke, was already watching the Grey Warden Fortress. Solas sneered involuntarily at the paper in his hand. 

_Hawke…_ The name stuck on his tongue.

_What an aggravating man…_

The time spent traveling with him after the events in the Western Approach were trying. The human thought himself clever, and at times charming. He recalled a few of the teasing flirts he sent the way of The Inquisitor. The Champion had been trying to pull a rise out of him. Solas had obliged him with a small show for the sake of those watching. His laugh was a grating, desperate thing.

The mage’s biggest flaw was his tendency to blame himself for situations not under his control. His nightmares were loud and forceful, pulling at all the spirits in the vicinity. Solas disliked powerful mages who wrapped themselves up in one emotion or another. The Fade always bore a drab and monotone atmosphere around them.

 _I wonder what_ she _thought when she met him. If indeed they met…_ He had contemplated, many times, the odds of his old friend being at the right place at the right time to swoop in and save the young man and his family. She had always been one to be in the most interesting places before her murder. _Surely an age or two incorporeal wouldn’t change her so much…_

He sped through the rest of the reports. The information would be useful in moving his agents around the Inquisition, imbedding them for contingency plans. A few new recruits would need to finally show their aptitude in subterfuge. Solas knew the Spy Master would not pass up such talented people, even if they would be under suspicion.

The Iron Bull had received correspondence from his people. The Inquisitor would likely speak with him that morning. The Altus had provided the Inquisition with Corypheus’ actual name. He skipped that old information for the report the Commander had provided on the request Sera had made. 

It was curious how her mind worked. _A march in Verchiel…_ Sera was a sharp woman; one he was loath to admit would make a great asset in what was to come, should it lead to war. His quiet laugh sounded in the room, he would need to find a way to cripple her, _for I am not fool enough to believe she would side with **me** … _ He, truly, didn’t want to kill someone who might survive the fall of the Veil, but so much had gone so badly recently he would not rule it out. Another small scroll bearing the Commander’s seal caught his eye and he perused its contents. 

The Spy Master had sent the location of information on where to find Red Templar Samson to the former Knight-Captain. The former Templar would likely wish to pursue that personally. A second message underneath it, stated that Varric had received correspondence from a friend who wanted to meet with the Inquisitor. _Curious._

His cool gaze swept over the reports then back to the woman who trusted so easily. It truly was a pity. She was intelligent and well suited for the role, outside of diplomatic events. She would do her people proud. Had made decisions that were keeping her clan alive in very precarious times for the city of Wycome. If he did not sour her to his cause when the truth came out, perhaps she would still be useful.

The image of her naked body flashed in his thoughts. She was not a shy woman in any sense and seemed to take pleasure in teasing him when in public. One particular memory of her waking him with her mouth surfaced from the depths of his mind and he shivered with arousal. He thanked Cassandra’s early wakeup call and cursed his present physical reaction. He cast a quick cold spell calming his still touch starved body. 

He sighed again at the thought of his constant need for restraint. It had been at least a hundred years before the Veil that he had shared the company of a woman. He would have to figure out some way to withstand the onslaught of the Inquisitor’s needs.

She had brought herself release several times as he watched and directed. His own pride would not allow him to touch her in those moments. And, if it came to it, altering memories was a simple matter… His gaze moved back to the documents. One purpose for leading her on. He contemplated when his conscious would return, slightly concerned he had stepped back into old frames of mind.

As he thought on the concept of contrition for acts he was not contrite in performing, his eye passed over Amber’s name. A report hidden under the signed papers box. In the Spy Master’s hand. He reached for the parchment when the ward activated announcing breakfast.

His eyes lingered on the parchment as his magic swept the door open and he announced, “Come in, please.”

The footsteps were very soft. The scent of the Fade on a sea breeze swept into the room with the warmer air from the tower stairwell. He picked up a correspondence with Orzammar and let his eyes drift over the hidden parchment once more before he looked up to witness Amber stepping up into the room. 

Her genuine smile lit up her face and he felt something in him warm at the sight. “ _Hi, Solas!_ ” The words were enunciated perfectly and his heart sang at the melodic tones too quiet for the beings of this age to hear.

He responded to her use of his mother tongue in kind, “ _It is good to see you too, Amber._ ” Her face flushed and his eyes went straight to her ears. Delight filled him at the sight.

“ _How have you been?_ ” He assisted her in moving her burden to the desk. The panic in her eyes as The Inquisitor responded to something in her sleep was amusing. “ _She is tired from our travels and will not wake. Has everyone treated you well?_ ”

At her affirmative response he gave her a courteous smile, “ _I am glad to hear it._ ” He had been keeping track of her already, and to see her confirm the reports relieved any small anxiety. He had been serious in Halamshiral. He had people moving to figure out what had happened to her as well. 

As they began their journey back to Skyhold, he had thought on his growing attachment to her. Somehow this young woman had come to embody his purpose. _Should I save but one of the People… it will be her._

The sentiment was one he welcomed, one that helped him stay focused. In fact, the few times he had almost given in to physical temptation she had saved him from a selfish folly. He would forcefully recall a memory of her Fade green, black rimmed eyes and direct their activities away from the more intense interactions. She was becoming an integral part of his life within the confines of the Inquisition, whether she knew it or not. “ _If anyone treats you in an inappropriate manner, please inform me and I will have the matter addressed._ ”

Her eyes brightened again, another rare genuine smile graced her lips in response. He found himself wondering what she felt at that moment. It had not been the first time since her return to the Inquisition that he had wondered as such.

The memory of her surprise and withdrawal into herself in the city had not surprised him. It was her refusal to let herself out again that did. He knew how uncomfortable it was to leave things bottled up inside. For millennia, he had done the same out of necessity. Some of the younger generations speculated their gods were beyond emotion at one point in their long reigns.

A sudden need to feel her Aura mingle with his own filled him.

She cut through the thought, “ _I am a big girl, Solas. I appreciate the thought, but I can take care of myself._ ” The words instantly recalled her time in Haven. 

His demeanor must have amused her as her quiet chuckling filled the room. A sound, rare though it had been, he found he had missed a great deal. “ _While I am glad to hear your sudden confidence, I would still prefer to know how people are treating you. You tend to attract the wrong kind of attention._ ” 

Her face heated once more, “ _You don’t have time for that. And besides, now that you’re back I will be helping you with your research. Problem solved._ ” 

“ _True though that may be, I will not be here for long periods of time. I care very much how the Inquisition treats you in my absence._ ” He looked toward the bed as he spoke checking on the sleeping woman there. She was readjusting her position again. When he looked back, he paused. The light was just bright enough to catch the angles of Amber’s face. The freckles splayed under her eyes drew attention to them in a captivating way. She looked older now, giving more weight to the mature change in her attitude. 

He was proud of her progress over the past month. She had done well in the jobs they had assigned her and was socializing with others on a regular basis. All of his agents were assigned some small duty or other to keep an eye out for her. And the two he had charged to keep the eyes of the Nightingale away from her, were doing their job splendidly. 

“ _How was your trip?_ ” Amber asked in the silence that had fallen between them. The question had a multitude of answers. His eyes found the dark sky beyond the balcony. He motioned for her to follow him and strode to the banister facing the fortress.

He thought on his answers. The most pertinent knowledge they had gained from their mission was what the Wardens were doing. His displeasure at their involvement with blood ritual was palpable. They thought to circumvent the troubles of a result of thousands of years of separation and suffering with a few hundred souls. It was laughable. In fact, he had laughed at the dark irony. Scaring the young elven Warden who had left the Order to save his own life. He had had his people move him north to see if distance stifled the false Calling. So far, like Warden Stroud, it had.

Solas had his few remaining Ancient Dreamers combing the Fade for signs of Corypheus. And, newer less powerful ones searching for others of their kind and the whereabouts of the one the Dalish called Asha’bellenar. Neither had had any luck moving him closer to either goal.

That aggravation, compounded with the Inquisitor’s near constant need to be intimate when they were alone was enough to drive any man crazy. He once again cursed his rejection of the two Elvhen women, and almost cursed his pride that kept him from a personal pursuit after his supposed lover had gone to sleep. 

“ _Enlightening, as well as frustrating._ ” His honesty surprised him. Amber was easy to talk to, and someone he need not worry about his image around. He would need to be wary of this when interacting around others. 

“ _What was frustrating about it?_ ”

“ _I failed to receive information I needed. Among other reasons._ ” Physical memories of the night before flashed through his mind, aggravating his libido and making his stance uncomfortable. He shifted his legs loosening the taught fabric slightly and cast another small ice spell to cool himself down once again.

“ _What about it was enlightening?_ ”

The image of two scouts who had followed them on their journey popped into his mind at her innocent question. Their eyes meeting his more often than any admirer or curious onlooker might hazard. He didn’t fail to notice they were some of The Nightingale’s best agents, and he let his amusement show. “ _I learned much about how the Spy Master keeps an eye on the Inquisitor._ ”

“ _Care to share helpful information with a friend? At least a good way to avoid her minions?_ ” Amber’s nonchalant tone did more to highlight her frustrations and fears than he thought she might want. 

“ _Not yet._ ” He teased. “ _In any case, along with the precautions I put in place, you have figured out a way to keep her satisfied. I have not heard any word about you from The Inquisitor._ ” He breathed a sudden sigh furrowing his brow slightly, “ _A detail that brings no small amount of relief._ ” He turned to find her facing him. He was pleased to see the red bloom across her cheeks again. It traveled quickly across her pale skin. He was fascinated with the way the color traveled up the sharp angles of her long ear. _Could I make it deepen?_ “ _I am pleased to see you fitting in more, Amber._ ”

“ _It’s always easier when I am able to work on my own._ ” She tried to defer. 

“ _Then, I am glad I advised correctly on the matter._ ” His warm words caused her to peek up at him. Her face was almost crimson, her ears darkening with each breath. _Indeed._ The comfortable silence between them soon alleviated her embarrassment. She stood straighter, her chestnut hair blowing gently about her in the predawn drift of the mountain air.

Solas watched a small spark of realization glimmer to life in her Fade colored eyes. Her face softened and desire crept in shortly after. He watched as her body tensed to move, her Aura peeking out from inside. 

He was eager for it. 

Eager to touch another Person again. He hadn’t realized how very much he had missed her presence until she had touched him with her Aura the evening prior. A glimpse of reality poking him ‘Hello’ in the hollowness that had come from his failed attempt to preserve what was best of them. 

His eyes never left hers, even as they began to take him in. They climbed over his face, neck, and chest drinking him in; as if seeing him for the very first time. He could just barely feel her bright Aura slipping out, unchecked, from wher e she kept it hidden, in search of his own. 

A snort and mumbled protest broke the magic.

Her eyes snapped to the bed and back to him. They widened in a thick panic, and he watched her momentary boldness crumble with what she understood. Amber was halfway across the room before he caught her wrist, stopping her from fleeing his side.

“Solas…” The soft voice grated on every nerve he had, breaking the apocalyptic silence that had reigned over the room. 

“ _Sleep._ ” He commanded. And she did. 

When the distraction was laid to rest again, he gently turned Amber around to face him. He could feel her trembling, and it pained him more deeply than he imagined it could. He curled his finger tenderly around her chin and he lifted her eyes to meet his own. 

Tears shown in the corners of her beautiful gaze. The glassy sheen highlighting her shame and regret. For a moment he was unsure as to why she would feel those emotions, then she glanced toward the bed warily. Envy looked back.

_I have been a fool._

He had thought through his seduction of the young leader. He had taken everything into account, planned everything he could to make sure the ruse was bought by everyone. And, he had succeeded. Everyone was convinced. _Everyone._

It was the first bad plan in a long string of bad plans that had actually panned out like he had needed it to, with the all results he had wanted. And, one he hadn’t known he didn’t want.

Amber was real. 

She was real, and right in front of him. A reminder of the People. His People. A shining beacon to help him stay on his path. His own path to redemption. He had planned and schemed all while thinking of protecting the People. Protecting her. And, though he had her in the forefront of his mind, he had forgotten her. Had put her burgeoning feelings for him aside in his pursuit of his end goal. A goal that included protecting her. 

They were alone together in a sea of Shadows, and he had _forgotten_ her. 

To make everything all the worse, he couldn’t correct the miscalculation. To let Amber in on his plans would be to jeopardize his entire purpose. She was no warrior, no spy. She was not here with any kind of training to resist the machinations of some of the most intelligent and dangerous people of the age. She’d been born to be a tool of war. And he had helped direct those wars.

Her pain would help the ruse all the more. She would _have_ to be a tool. It would affect how his fellows would see him, in ways he could use to his advantage if he were careful. For the young woman’s affection for him was clear to anyone. Though she had become more skilled at veiling her emotions, her feelings for him were clear to all. 

There was nothing he could do at that point. He would have to leave things as they were, until he could change them with relative safety. There were too many eyes and ears on his words and actions. The only thing that would make his own machinations harder would be Amber changing the current arrangement.

A great disgust swelled up in his being. Disgust at his confidence in her loyalty. Her very nature as a Wolf would demand her loyalty remain through anything that might occur. Demand she follow. It was her instinct and he knew all too well how important he was to her. Amber looked down, still ashamed. His heart clenched in remorse, _If only one survived…_

_But what good would her survival do if she was broken…_

He opened his mouth to speak, but the morning bells tolled the breaking of dawn in the heavy silence. He made to glare at the intruding herald of time, once again, slipping from his grasp. She slipped away when his grip loosened, taking away the slim chance he had to spare her.

######################################

The Inquisitor was still groggy when she shoved the last dredges of her breakfast into her mouth. The dream still lingered about her mind, especially after waking alone. Solas speaking in Elvhen and the dulcet tones of a female doing the same. She looked at the wall of the tavern and swallowed the last of her drink. 

The Herald’s Rest was unusually empty and quiet that morning. She wasn’t sure if this was a regular thing; Cabot wasn’t near as talkative as Flissa had been. Her blue gaze passed over the last of the Charger’s to occupy their designated space. She had to speak with Bull that morning.

The Dalish caught Dalish’s eye and smiled at her kinsmen. Ever since her conversation with Minave she had felt an obligation to befriend one who had been sacrificed for the good of the People. The other woman had realized her purpose but had not called her on it; she didn’t reject her attempts to become friends either. Sulah knew she was loyal to The Iron Bull, _at least for now._ But, they had both sought the company of one another when wishing to reminisce about their shared background.

The Inquisitor closed her fist and held up her index and little finger, indicating The Iron Bull and Dalish mouthed “out back.” A nod and grateful smile later she was headed to the practice grounds. As she came up on the Iron Bull and Krem she flinched at the noise of metal scraping on wood. 

“Ah, come on Krem! I’m working my ass off trying to get you to see that move!”

“You’ve still got plenty of ass left, Chief.” His eyes caught on Sulah he shifted from his readied stance, “Uh. Your Worship.”

“I’m glad you came by. I got a letter from my contacts in the Ben-Hassrath. Already verified it with Red.” Sulah nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Leliana informed me. Do you want to discuss this alone?” Her eyes drifted to his second in command. Krem’s eyes had focused on something behind her. Whatever it was, he was watching it very closely.

“Not like I was hiding it from my boys. Besides, right now I need to hit something.” He motioned to Krem as he spoke.

Krem tore his eyes from the sight behind her and sighed. “You know they’ve got training dummies, Chief.”

“The training dummy might actually defend itself against the shield bash.” He scolded before turning back to the Inquisitor. “Anyway, The Ben-Hassrath letter: They’re ready to work with us.”

Shock made her hesitate for a moment. “I was under the impression that you were just sending reports.” This new development was alarming even with the little information she had about the Qunari.

“Yeah, so was I. Turns out, after reading my reports they don’t like Corypheus or his Venatori.” Sulah nodded in agreement. _Qunari not pleased with aggressive Tevinter mages. That’s not surprising. Would this propagate more war between them?_ “And they _really_ don’t like red lyrium. So, they want to work together. With you, Boss. The Qunari and the Inquisition, joining forces.” Sulah watched him for a moment mulling over the information.

A Qunari spy was telling her how his people were eager to engage with the threat that could affect the entire world. The Qunari were not known for their tolerance of other ways of life. _Would I be inviting them to invade?_ Her eyes slid over to his lieutenant. Krem was watching his boss, a concerned expression on his face. When their eyes met he quickly looked down to his sword and began cleaning it. When he looked up again it was over her shoulder.

She looked back to Iron Bull who had not stopped watching her. “It could be a powerful alliance, if I thought their offer was legitimate. Which I don’t.”

He nodded approvingly at her sentiment. “Ordinarily that would be the way to go. But, they’ve identified themselves. They’re not running a game on you.” She gave him a skeptical look as she weighed the possibility this was actually a subverted invasion. He reacted without the frustrated tone she thought he should have had, “Look, my people have never made a full blown alliance with a foreign power before. This would be a big step.”

“What brought this offer on?” She asked, a better clarification on the matter seemed wise.

Iron Bull readied his stance to continue Krem’s training. “They’ve found a massive red lyrium shipping operation out on the coast.”

Krem readied and continued for his Boss, “They wanted us to hit it together. Talked about bringing in one of their dreadnoughts.” His voice was laced with excitement. “Always wanted to see one of those big warships in action.” Iron Bull took advantage of his distraction and swung his shield at Krem. The soldier flew back and almost fell to the ground.

“Did you see that?” Iron Bull said testily. “Go get some water.” Krem backed up nodding in acknowledgement. His eyes went back to whatever had caught his attention before and the Bull shook his head as he watch him stride off. “They’re worried about tipping the smugglers, so no army. My Chargers, you… maybe some backup.” His face remained blank.

“What does this alliance really get us?”

“They wouldn’t use the word “alliance” if they didn’t mean it. So, naval power, more Ben-Hassrath reports. Qunari soldiers pointed at the Venatori…” He took a deep breath here. “It could do a lot of good.”

“You don’t seem entirely happy about this.” Sulah was slightly proud that she had picked up on his displeasure.

“No, I’m good. Uh… I’m used to them being _over there_. It’s been a while.”

Sulah gave an amused chuckle at that pronouncement. “I thought the Qunari wanted to extend their reach to the whole world.”

“Yeah. Just didn’t think I’d see it.” He was not amused by her reaction. “Look, the Qun answers a lot of questions. It’s a good life for a lot of people. But it’s a big change. And a lot of folks here wouldn’t do so well under that life.” His eye strayed above her head and back. “I guess it’s not like we’re converting. This is just us joining forces against Corypheus. On that front, I think we’re good.”

_It couldn’t hurt. At least we’d know where to find a good lot of them._

She nodded and used a thoughtful tone to answer, “I think we could use some help from the Qunari.”

He smiled, “Good. I’ll pass on word to Cullen and Red. We can set up the meeting whenever you’re ready.” Bull walked over to where Krem sat on his bench. The human was still staring at something to her back.

Bull clapped Krem on the back making him spit out his water and the walked toward the tavern, Krem peeking over his shoulder as he went. When Sulah looked in the direction of his fruitive glances she found Amber sitting on the passage from the Atrium to Cullen’s office, eating a sandwich. 

A bitter taste rose in her mouth and she looked away from her heading toward the staircase up into the throne room. Varric wanted to talk about a friend of his. As she walked an idea formed. Amber’s constant presence around Solas would be annoying. _Perhaps if I introduce her to Krem…_ She smiled, delighted at her idea. 

“Now to convince everyone to let her come with us.” She murmured as she mounted the stairs. _Nothing like close quarters of a road trip to get to know people better._ She chuckled as she stepped up to Varric who was speaking to another dwarf. 

“I appreciate the warning, but you shouldn’t have come yourself. What if the guild found out? Or Whathisname?” He was concerned for the woman he was talking with.

“Are you worrying for me or for yourself?” Her tone was sardonic.

“A little of column A. A little of column B. I am the expendable one, after all.” Sulah’s ears perked up at that. Varric introduced her to _the_ Bianca. What followed was a sarcasm laced explanation of a huge Red Lyrium problem.

She sighed after getting the run down. “We need to deal with this. As long as he has this source, Corypheus is that much more powerful.”

Varric smiled, pleased. “I couldn’t agree more.” 

“Only thing is, I have another urgent issue to deal with at the moment as well.” Sulah cupped her forehead and felt along the upraised skin that signified her vallaslin. She traced the pathways to sooth her burgeoning headache.

“Couldn’t it wait?” Varric asked incredulous. “This is Red Lyrium we’re talking about here.”

“I don’t know if it can. I’ll speak with Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana. We’ll get it all sorted out Varric.” She tried to give him a reassuring smile. “If anything, we’ll send you along with someone who does better with darkspawn.” 

Varric crossed his arms irritated. “Blackwall should be there anyway.”

Bianca spoke up, “I’d rather you dealt with it Inquisitor. I’ll keep an eye on their operations. Maybe we can get some information on where they’re sending it while we wait for you to show up.”

“We could send a few soldiers and some scouts to supplement your own men. Send us information as you come across it.” Sulah offered. 

Bianca smiled as she nodded. At her agreement Sulah grabbed a parchment and quill, a messenger nearby was sent to Leliana and Cullen. “I’ll have them meet you at the gates. 

“Thanks Inquisitor.” Bianca addressed Varric as she turned to leave. “Try not to leave me waiting too long, Varric. I’ve got my own work to do, you know.” Something about the way she said it set Sulah’s intuition off and grated her nerves.

“Right. That’s not going to be trouble at all. Let me know when you make a decision.” He strode off presumably to his quarters.

Sulah took a deep breath and stared at the door to Solas’ rotunda. Her feet carried her forward and she was in his presence. His couch was comfortable and she sat down to watch him as he read whatever tome he currently had his head in.

“Can I help you, Inquisitor?” Came his cordial greeting. She stuck her tongue out at him. He was still so very formal with her wherever they were.

“Just help with making more time for world altering decisions that keep cropping up everywhere.” She was very tired suddenly.

He looked over the top of his book at her, curious. “What decisions?”

“Bull wants us to ally with the Qunari. And Varric has information about one of Corypheus’ red lyrium sources.” She smiled wanly at him.

He sat up, “An alliance with the Qunari?” She sighed frustrated with his wary tone.

“It might be a good idea.” She shrugged at him. “Haven’t we always taken what help we could get?”

“The Inquisition is in a much more powerful position than it has been. There is no need to involve the Qun.” 

She gave a frustrated huff of a laugh and stood. “Solas, we don’t even know where Corypheus’ base is. This could bring us the right kind of information.” She tiredly strode over to him and motioned for him to let her sit in his lap. He placed his book on the desk and sat back, she was careful not to plop down on him and put her arms around his neck and her forehead to his closing her eyes. “Venhan, this could be a good thing.”

He was quiet for a while before he wrapped his arms around her waist keeping her steady on his lap. “I know you believe that. I would just caution you not to trust them fully. Their purpose is to spread their ideology. Not to coexist. Peace is something that will not come from this encounter. I am sure of it.” 

She sighed at his stubborn refusal to see the good in anyone. _Anyone but **her**._

The door to the passage way opened and Amber’s footsteps heralded her return to work. “I’m back Solas.” The woman’s voice was quiet and annoyingly even. Though, Sulah could sense a bit of nervousness in her words. She opened her eyes and smiled at Solas.

He pulled away from Sulah to address Amber. “Resume your work in the library, please. When you’ve gone through the last of the texts I will have another list for you.”

Amber and Sulah locked eyes as Amber nodded in acknowledgement. The brunette made her way to the staircase. Her long brown hair was disheveled from the wind and pulled back in a loose horse tail. The common blue dress accented what curves she did have. 

She was a beautiful woman, and from the reports Leliana had been giving her on Amber’s progress had figured out how to actually work. NO trouble, no complaints. Amber had matured since returning from the Fade a second time. Sulah felt a slice of jealousy and decided to start the process of getting the woman on board with the trip to the Storm Coast. _And hopefully out of my hair…_

“Amber?” The elf halted and looked over her shoulder at the pair. There was something in her eyes that thrilled Sulah’s more vicious nature. “How would you like to accompany us on our next mission?” Solas stiffened under her and 

Amber narrowed her eyes.

“Why would you suggest this?” Solas inquired. His tone convincingly calm, despite the stillness she knew was displeasure. 

“Seems like second times the charm. She has done well since returning. We might as well see if she has gotten any good at anything else.” She shrugged her shoulders, trying to be casual. Solas only narrowed his eyes at her. A disheartening, protective, sign if she was going to try to get Amber completely out of his mind.

“I would _extraneously_ advise against this, Inquisitor.” 

“Well, then it’s good I am here to give her the opportunity.” Sulah stayed politely cheerful as she addressed him. 

“What if I don’t want to go, _Harold_?” Sulah narrowed her eyes at Amber, anger at her old title started to simmer just below her skin. 

“You will address me as Inquisitor when we are speaking of official duties. Is that clear?”

Amber froze at her tone, and the thrill of power coursed through The Inquisitor. She had to take a deep breath and tamp down the urge to revel in it.

After shooting a glance to her displeased lover, she stood and walked over to Amber. Taking a page from Solas’ book she folded her hands behind her back. A motion that was becoming more and more useful to convey her authority to those who questioned her. “It is in the Inquisition’s best interest to utilize every asset to the best of our ability. Do you understand?”

The rage in Amber’s eyes was alarming only in that she hadn’t actually expected her to be angry. Amber gave a stiff nod and turned her back to the new leader. The smirk on Sulah’s lips was witnessed only by the nosy friend who spent his time sunning himself on the floor above. Her defeated rival moved up the stairs with louder than necessary steps. 

The Inquisitor watched her disappear and turned back to Solas who was watching her with a blank expression. She could never really see behind his mask if he didn’t want her too. And, he didn’t want her to then. She sighed and moved to the front of his desk. Solas picked up his tome and turned to where he had left off.

“Again Inquisitor, I would advise against this course of action.” His voice was hard.

“I think it would be good to keep an eye on her. Give her a chance to see more of Thedas.” She tried to cajole him. 

“Your Advisors will suggest a different route to deal with this situation. I was aware of the Dalish’s tendency toward hasty judgements, but I thought better of you.” His eyes held her own as he addressed her, disapproval in abundance. Her lips thinned, she had almost forgotten his dislike for the People. She turned away and walked through to the throne room. 

She gave a curt order to a messenger to call Cullen and Leliana to the War room; and was half way through the back hall before Josephine caught up with her. 

Plans were made for her to meet with the Qunari and then make her way back to the Hinterlands to meet with Bianca. Cullen backed her up when she suggested bringing Amber. Josephine was the only dissenter as Leliana felt it would be a good test of what Amber’s abilities could handle. Sulah visibly winced at the implications and chill in the woman’s voice at her suggestion.

“Solas agreed to this?” The Ambassador questioned her, shock undisguised.

“No.” Sulah’s’s voice was resigned. “He is playing the overbearing parent with her. Treating her like some fragile thing that needs to be coddled.” Her frustration at his protective nature of Amber grew with each passing day. Leliana gave her an approving nod. She smiled tightly back at the Spy Master.

“I truly do not think this is a wise idea, Inquisitor.” Josephine insisted. “She remained in Haven at all times. We had no desire for the enemy to find out about her then.” 

“I understand that.” Sulah leaned on the war table and fixed her eyes on the little dot marked ‘Haven.’ She noticed for the first time that Haven was not actually directly South of Skyhold. At least on this map it was slightly to the south east. It felt like so long ago, Solas and she had become closer. Amber now threatened their intimacy. “But, that doesn’t mean we can’t bring her out at all. The Charger’s will be with us for the entirety of the trip. I can ask Bull to assign someone to watch her. One or two would not be missed.” She shrugged as if her suggestion was an obvious solution to the issue she had created.

“Inquisitor.” Josey deflated slightly before regrouping, “I truly feel this is not a good idea. We could at least train her-‘

“She can train on the road.” Leliana offered, receiving a sharp disappointed look from her friend.

“That is not safe!”

“The girl is immortal.” Leli countered. And the argument continued on for an hour before they were able to convince Josephine to agree. The Inquisitor herself sent the messenger with official orders to Bull and Solas. As they were in charge of the people in question.

They went over the last of the strategies for Adamant, placing them in order of effectiveness. Agreed to leave for the fortress two days after they returned from the Hinterlands. Cullen’s suggestion to leave Amber in Skyhold when they left for battle was unanimously seconded. And, like that, the next month or so was filled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think Questions, Comments, critiques.
> 
> Thanks immerghensi!!
> 
> I had other things to say here, but I forgot...

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to critique I am doing this to work on my writing.


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